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Mental Health Hearing voices and feeling like people are watching me/reading my mind.

While reading your post I can definitely agree with a lot that you said!!! Really these voices are horrible to the point that its pathetic how they want a reaction. They are so constant you would think who has the time to sit up and talk about ones life day and night 24hours? It can't be real humans it has to be some kind of energy evil demons or forces we can't seem to wrap our mind around. This started for me a while ago I was about 17years old I started using cocaine. I never in my life had mental issues I was aware of until this time. I went through the phase of thinking humans could read my mind. Also things started getting weird like humming noises from trucks passing my house are simply the fan chanting like an evil spirit or as if it was possesed. Well it all got to bad because I couldn't go anywhere without thinking negative thoughts and people around me reacting as if they could hear my thoughts. I remember being on a plane and thinking I'm going to blow this plane up knowing that's something I would never think of people started giving me looks and stares as if scared I would actually do it. Another thing I've never been a homosexual as for I am a female but this thing really tripped me out. Before I married my husband whom is military I was taking my first trip to go see him and before I went to see him I never had dreams or anything of the such I found it weird that before I flew to see him I was given a dream of my ex and his friend two men on the floor naked about to have sex. It was crazy for I never seen anything like this. But for some reason once I got down to Virginia where my fiance was at this point I started seeing gay behavior from him. Every time we went out he would look at a man as if he wanted him and the mam would do the same. For I was very beautiful back then with lovely features and a gorgeous body it made me very uncomfortable it was almost as if he was taking the male attention off me. He never shared this eye contact with another woman I never felt competive with another woman because I knew she couldn't compete but as far as with a man oh my God I knew I couldn't compete because a man has something I could never have and that's a penis. If that's what my husband longed for I knew I could never make him happy or I knew I could never be good enough. Well I loved my husband so much I would do anything to make him love me I tried things like playing with his butt or even going to the extreme and treating him as if he were a woman I would suck his toes , buy him flowers or even try to indulge in homosexual porn to see if he showed any signs of being gay. By this time I ended up moving in with him due to my situation of being so young and not having anywhere to go. I lived with him and during this time I was doing coke everyday. I didn't necessarily hear voices but I heard chants and just constant mmmmmms that wouldn't go away for nothing like someone just left a vacuum on in my head and never turned it off. Me and my husband had also became very very violent we would fight as if our lives depended on it. I remember him almost taking my life after throwing my wedding ring down the garbage disposal and turning it on he choked me until I couldn't breathe I pissed myself. Looking back I wished he would have so I wouldn't have to feel this suffering I feel today. Well anyway things got so crazy that hands started turning to him not only being gay but being intimate with his blood brother.. I always got some feeling from him like I just knew something wasn't right. I'll touch on this more. But anyway while still in Virginia I experienced the worst kinds of dreams that would scare my husband into waking me up asking am I okay. The worst I had was laying downstairs and I remember being dropped into a black hole and being really scared within seconds as of someone sparked a lighter a flame burst and started to set me a fire but before that even happened soon as the fire started I woke up and there was an elteric shock through my whole house that scared me. Also I had a dream of lots of people even loved ones throwing things at me , talking about me as if I was an outcast to the world kind of explains my situation right now and to think that was 3/4years ago. Well anyway I moved to California due to my husband being in the military even after all that of thinking and really feeling in my heart he was homosexual I married him anyway. Well once we got here I started smoking weed and as I told you I liked cocaine I couldn't seem to get my hands on it so I ended up trying meth. That was the first time ever in my life I went through a pychotic break. I never mentioned but I use to be real religious and for some reason every time I got high I would like to go and read the bible which this time was a death sentence. I was so high that the bible words seem to talk to me and say the craziest things... About the 6th wheel I stayed in a apartment like on the 10th 12th floor I was high above. I ended up busting out all the windows thinking my family was at my door here to kill me because they thought I won the lottery which is a whole bother story. For the first time I heard voices not just any voices but familiar voices like my mom , my dad my husband it was all to fake but at that time was to real to me. I was seeing faces of people I knew this was the worse experience I ever faced in my life that lead me up to where I am now which is not a good place. Well once they finally got me into the ambulance which I swore they where going to just shoot me in the head and just dump my body. I finally gave in and said take me and have me what a experience that was pure hell I tell you that. I got to the hospital thinking this was a hospital specially trained to kill certain individuals in families and across from my room I heard my family as if they were there as if they gave me up to die as if I were their sacfrice all I could think of was WHY ME??? I remember ripping out my iv and running down the hall trying to escape this murder scene I remember making it outside and seeing people outside the gate and saying to them remember me!!! And screaming until the restrained me and I woke up in a pysic ward where I continued to hear voices as well as feel there was something watching me on the outside. I finally got out of the hospital and I felt much better that was the last time I EVERRR did meth. Things continued sour but I would be writing all day to include all those things. Well anyway things seemed normal up until my husband went into his first deployment and my life hasn't been the same. Before he left things were going crazy supernatural weird things begin happenening this is when I started questioning god which I deeply believed in. Well anyway things started going very crazy as in to weird I remember hearing people talk as if my husband was out on his ship and his command was here watching my every move but not only that they were talking to me crazy saying things with very little meaning even simple things of loud noises and farts which I found weird. This is when things got personal.. I been singing since I was a little girl that use to be something I loved to do , it wasn't something I planned on doing as a career or anything even though some people thought I was really good and some other didn't. Well anyway I found myself spending large amounts of my time in the shower singing. If I could post my videos I swear I'd be famous I sounded so great better than I ever had my entire life as if my voice was controlled by some force off in the distance. Well anyway as good as it sounds this is when all hell broke lose and music became the bullet to my brain. Even though those videos were really good I couldn't stand to watch them it was as if a ghost would jump inside the camera and make me say things or make me have this nasty ass attitude where is to I'm rolling my eyes as if I'm possessed oh my god horrible. I remember listening to music and one day out the blue clear as day this guy says "Your breath stanks" I couldn't believe what I had just heard I knew I could hear and I wasn't high on drugs I couldn't figure out wtf he was talking about and I remember listening again to another song with keyshia Cole and as you remember from the beginging I couldn't put my finger on if he was gay or not (even still until this day we been married 3and a half years been together for 5years , son on the way also). Well anyway this woman who I don't even know do you know out in her song she plainly stops her famous lyrics and include my PRIVATE life in her song says my real name and all you want to know what she says "Shaenavia he's gay" I almost died right there like bitch what did you just say and she repeats it as if its nothing "He's gay" my heart was so very hurt I couldn't believe after all this invitigating I did on trying to see the truth about my own marriage in just that very moment some woman can just tell me something that I had wondered on for years. It hurt like holy hell. Well after that things weren't the same I couldn't stay be myself voices noises and all kinds of things I remember setting my head on fire not on purpose but it just happened. I knew from that point on there was no God. There was no hope for the human people we are all doomed and they told me this through my self. I ended up going back home to Florida and things were the worst things that normally wouldnt bother me bothered me. Noises seemed louder and more aggravating then normal and people werernt there normal selfes. One thing that gets me even to this day is someone sniffing there nose at me or someone around me having a runny nose. Omg it just grinds my gears its just the devil way of being funny and to remind me he thinks I smell. But its so weird because I don't seem to catch my breath at all but the weird thing about it is my husband has had really really bad breath our whole entire marriage. That was the reason I broke up with him during high school . I don't know how we ended up getting back together but we did. Honestly my husband has the best sex better than any man I've ever been with. He was the first ever to make me cum and I think I fell in love with his penis more than him himself. We had a very strong sexually connection thats why I could never understand him being homosexual I just thought I was that lucky woman to have a man only intreasted in me as a woman only but not me as a person because I still feel he desired a man over me. Well anyway about the brother thing... Its so crazy because there was a picture posted to a page I use to stalk on fb ... Everything about that page led me to believe this was a fake page my husband made to keep up with his male companion his brother. Well anyway this picture looked just as my house did to the point I knew and still feel that could of possibly been him. To the dining set to the door and duct tape they used to try to cover things up I just knew it was him. Of course the faces were cropped out bit what got me was just after this photo he went and got my name tattoo on his wrist which was weird because of the picture it was like he was trying to unidentify hisself by covering his tracks. Which I feel is crazy but fucking your brother is crazy so who knows really. But what gets me is the voices I hear I hear his brothers voice a lot calling his name saying Phillip. Not only that the voices I hear have some kind of power over this earth like they can just run free messing up peoples lives every time I go out I see his brothers car you better believe I thought this was a joke the first time I swore I was on a TV show and someone was pranking me I couldn't believe this was real.not only do I see the car but as nasty as these voices are just imagine the things they would say to me. Even if I watch a movie its like its about my life they stop their scripp just to involve me into some kind of hurt pattern. Just them saying brother males me quesy that's such a common word so it's not like I can just get over it. So just imagine my life .... At one point they blamed it on the music industry that its the evil eye the 666 the new world order crap but honestly its so much deeper than that to me . granted listening to music sucks because they sing lyrics I know that aren't suppose to be there as well as make we sound like bee or all kinds of non sense. Man my pain I feel is daily I can't go out without people commenting on my life saying eww to me or yuck or anything period. As if I don't think the same of them. I see people way worse then me but I seem to get all the critics. Oh don't let me get started these voices are repetive they talk about my breath to the point where its ridiculous. People don't even know me can walk past me and rub their nose or pet peeve me with a sniffing sound. Its horrible don't let me go grocery shopping little kids walk past me and say eww.. I can hear it plain as day or her breath stinks or I can go outside there's his brothers car or a dump truck sitting there reminding me as if I don't hear it enough from the voices alone. This is the worst pain I've ever felt its everyday all day every waking second of my life. My mind isn't even its own I can't think without them being rude and just saying mhmm or I can hear you or stfu bitch or you yuck mouth ass bitch or brush your teeth and end it with a brushing sound or sniffle. They are super duper cruel to me. I question humanity I question the god that promised us a better life and that we could trust him. I find myself cussing out everybody and its so hard as I'm 36weeks pregnant with a baby boy. I'm so scared to bring him in this world knowing that this could be his future and specially with me thinking his father is gay its like God what am I suppose to do as his mother I'm suppose to protect my son how I feel helpless I try to commit suicide in any and every way possible its been a rough pregnancy but I plan on taking my life after my son is born. I can't bear to feel I'll feelings about my son or get upset with him or even allow the spirits to use him to hurt me. I've already been at am ultrasound and they had my own baby that i m carrying that I've been sick over this whole pregnancy me his own mom have to see my son in the womb saying your breath stanks or holding his nose. Impossible right ?? Nah its all to true. I'm hurting and I know these voices will never leave ... I feel the only way is suicide . I can't be here another 5 10 years allowing for such evil spirits to control me. I can't go to school I can't get a job I can't even stay in an apartment because of the voices beating on the walls and blaming the neighbors or having the neighbors themselves do some fucked up shit to hurt me and what hurts is they side with the neighbors as if they aren't human like me!!! I question them what did I do why are you doing this... The shit they do is so evil you would think they were all in a room just laughing at me. Like this is their only sole purpose in life to make me suffer as if I'm dead in hell burning and don't even know it. There's nobody that can help me I envyy husband because he just looks down on me.. He works and he sits here with bad breath but yet and still rubb his nose or sniffle at me as if his shit doesn't stank I know its the demons but I can't always bring myself to believe that. He hurts me in so many ways and then to turn around and say he loves me is like a bullet to the head. I just don't know what to do I refuse to talk to doctors because anyone I talk to is like talking to the demon itself. I can't go on living like this. To think these very people favored me or played me to believe that could turn against me so fast as if they never had a heart at all. I'm so hurt you just don't even know. I don't know who to pray to who to talk to or who to put my faith in. All I know is what they tell me and that's a no good fat stank yuck mouth bitch as in their own words. My soul has been tooken away from me and as I say that I hear that little voice not even inside my head anymore there so bold he just throws me a nasty as NAH like bitch this is what you get for living on my earth.
 
Go find and read "the matrix deciphered"

To any and all of you who also have been added to the list of us "targeted individuals" as the community has accepted as a term for those of us selected for this mental and eventually full blown social torture you must locate and read the book "The Matrix Deciphered" by Dr. Robert Duncan I myself have been suffering like you for many years now. Any and all friends and acquaintances I had before my program of mental destruction and physical damage resulting from my early on attempts to "fix" or just cope with the problem of my thoughts being read or what I've been made to believe are my thoughts and words in my mind that I never used before that are now fixed regular terms that come to mind which literally have nothing to do with what I am thinking or feeling but yet have been replaced for the proper terms or expressions I would have had in my mind prior to having my brain rewired by my "handlers" or "cloners" as you will learn from the book. Still do this day which from the accounts of nearly all who have not died trying to escape their torment it is pretty much accepted in the community that this torture will never end until death or you reach a point of complete Incapability to think, operate, affect the world in any way, are involuntarily committed and never to return to society, or reach such an old age of you are (un)lucky enough to do so are relegated to being completely ignored or otherwise dismissed for being out of touch with current issues and technology I would say more but it may be better for you all to do some more diving in this subject yourself then return to me if you would like more insights to what is happening or want to compare similarities of your "torture script" to mine and others like us because they all start the same then become more personal and unique to you for your mental type and current mental state.

For any and all who have their thoughts being "heard" by some invisible voice or if you are a late stage victim of this artificial telepathy then even having friends and family and neighbors or comets strangers around you responding to your thoughts or repeating or saying things from your mind I am going to start a thread called "Down the rabbit hole" look for it as I will place there all the information and things that will maybe help you start to understand what this is and the currently accepted by many as how it is done through real technologies that you can research and find that do exist and are functional and being used now against millions or more today.

Also please if you encounter or know anyone else that seem to have the same symptoms you have and will learn about direct them to the book "the matrix deciphered" as hopefully a start for them to get in tune with how this shit works! BEWARE!!!! if you truly are a "targeted individual" and suffering this torture you will be punished for your education into this book and further learning of the capabilities and tactics the psychotic operators of this attack on the people via the mind! So if you are already barely able to handle things as they are now you have no idea howuch worse it will get once you start to set foot into their world!!!! I warn you only because it is standard procedure for them if you don't just stay in line with the torture and control you have been in so far and dare to understand this!

Lastly I will say that there is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY to defend against this that is known and worse yet probably no way at all possible to shield or escape this that will ever be developed because of the nature of how it works so like everyone going through this eventually tries to seek, it is a white whale. So don't be fooled if you find or come across the very sick people who have recently begun to market products to us victims of thought control and mental destruction as well as the different tactics used to discredit us so no one will ever believe or take you seriously and label you crazy permanently removing you from society do not fall victim again financially to these sick motherF'ers who would profit from your torture and desperate desire to stop the attacks on your mind and the resulting damage to your body that too many of us receive through the many ways we unsuccessfully try to "deal" or "cope" with what you endure.

The ones behind your program of mind rape and reprogramming have absolutely no care at all about what happens to you mentally and even further physically do not try to do as I have before and harm yourself to attempt to make the torture stop! If anything this will just make your mental torture worse as they will start to suggest or make you think afterwards that the pain and damage you cause to your body was actually by their doing and not yours to begin with!
 
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http://www.hearing-voices.org

66% of people who hear voices never tell their doctor. It's only when the voices, feeling that others can read your mind, thought insertion & removal become unendurable do they tell the doctor.

https://www.ted.com/talks/eleanor_longden_the_voices_in_my_head?language=en

Neuroleptics are dangerous drugs. They cause irreversible damage and knock an average of 10 years off expected longevity. There is the Dopamine Hypothesis on which all but 1 neuroleptic is designed by and there is the NMDA Hypothesis. The only medication that acts on NMDA (and, when released, was shown to be the most effective) was clozapine BUT it can cause a huge drop in white blood cell count i.e. it can kill you. If this is becoming a big problem, I would try a psychologist. They can teach you to block the intrusive thoughts without medication.

What I am finding frightening is that neuroleptics are being used for bipolar and that's FIRST-LINE treatment. It's my opinion that someone using the research on Agomelatine will find a longer-acting melotonin modulator. I know the Russians looked at larger amide groups when they were looking for a drug to protect from radiation (!) but I don't think they considered affinity to the melotonin receptors....
 
txshellshell said:
I need help for my step brother and I tried to message PMS but the inbox is too full. How do I talk to one of you on this posting? I have never posted in a blog before or forum
Click to expand...

You can PM me--my inbox is not full. Is your stepbrother hearing voices?
 
Dude, guys, there's no such thing as "targeted persons" and "electronic warfare". The only "targeted persons" are people being killed extrajudicially by drones and people who get fucked over by the law (i.e. targeted by a cop's gun in the street), and the only "electronic warfare" is sonic weapons (think crowd control) and things like advertising. There's no government mind control. The CIA tried with MK-ULTRA and if you REALLY read about it (not the sensational bullhonkey on a 90's-looking geocities website but the actual FOIA transcripts), it was a dismal failure that achieved nothing and was highly embarrassing for the CIA.

Lay off the drugs and stop "studying" the hypotheses that require magic and violations of known physical laws. That's all just the schizoid disorder talking and it's pulling you away from really healing the damage that has happened to your mind. Some drugs are schizogenic (lol is that a word? who cares), in that they precipitate early schizophrenia in people who would otherwise develop it at a later time or are prone to developing it. Among these are meth, psychedelics and cannabis (don't get me wrong - aside from that contraindication, I stand by psychedelics and cannabis as otherwise having very safe profiles and being quite useful).

Keep on going with the psychiatrist/psychologist and be honest and open.

There's no such thing as magic. Get yourself treated and change your lifestyle so your body is healthy.

Edit - Is there a correlation between people who believe in "targeted persons" and rambling/run-on sentences, not using periods, and not spacing out your paragraphs? I can only imagine what's going on in your heads. I don't mean to be offensive. Just reflecting.
 
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I know exactly what they mean. The gov't has a really annoying habit of spying on me while I'm in the middle of a long meth binge. It's like I can't just enjoy my drugs without those assholes installing another camera in my bathroom drain...
 
Burnt Offerings said:
I know exactly what they mean. The gov't has a really annoying habit of spying on me while I'm in the middle of a long meth binge. It's like I can't just enjoy my drugs without those assholes installing another camera in my bathroom drain...
Click to expand...

Lol, seriously. One common theme in almost all the posts by the "true believers" has been "I did drug x AND THEN noticed that magical (i.e. schizoid) symptom y was taking place." Hmmmmm...cause and effect much? Let's use some Occam's Razor here, people!
 
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clubcard said:
Neuroleptics are dangerous drugs. They cause irreversible damage and knock an average of 10 years off expected longevity. There is the Dopamine Hypothesis on which all but 1 neuroleptic is designed by and there is the NMDA Hypothesis. The only medication that acts on NMDA (and, when released, was shown to be the most effective) was clozapine BUT it can cause a huge drop in white blood cell count i.e. it can kill you. If this is becoming a big problem, I would try a psychologist. They can teach you to block the intrusive thoughts without medication.

What I am finding frightening is that neuroleptics are being used for bipolar and that's FIRST-LINE treatment. It's my opinion that someone using the research on Agomelatine will find a longer-acting melotonin modulator. I know the Russians looked at larger amide groups when they were looking for a drug to protect from radiation (!) but I don't think they considered affinity to the melotonin receptors....
Click to expand...

They can be dangerous drugs but often they are the only thing that work for people. Also there is a Serotonin hypothesis around Schizophrenia as well as the Dopamine one and NMDA one. You are right when Clozapine was shown to be the most effective and virtually free of any movement disorders as well but yeah along with the drop in white blood cells it can cause sudden cardiac abnormalities that can cause sudden death. I wonder why they haven't put DHA-Clozapine which would bypass these nasty side effects.

I have never had a problem with anti-psychotics even with long term use so everyone reacts differently to these drugs of course. They aren't nasty drugs for everyone and many people benefit from them.
 
I know that your posting is a couple years old, but i am dealing with exactly the same thing that you have described only. The voices also go away for a little bit when i take uppers, as soon as i come down off of them i hear voices, trying to control me. Even the telepathic part is described exactly like i experience it. I have been going to a mental hospital to fix my head but no meds seem to work. I have struggled a long time now i would like to talk to you if i could somehow. reply if you get this message.
 
miron said:
I know that your posting is a couple years old, but i am dealing with exactly the same thing that you have described only. The voices also go away for a little bit when i take uppers, as soon as i come down off of them i hear voices, trying to control me. Even the telepathic part is described exactly like i experience it. I have been going to a mental hospital to fix my head but no meds seem to work. I have struggled a long time now i would like to talk to you if i could somehow. reply if you get this message.
Click to expand...

If you are having psychotic symptoms taking a stimulant such as Amphetamines or Cocaine is about the absolute worst thing you can possibly due. I cannot stress enough how bad of a idea that is. These drugs trigger psychosis in people who don't even have underlying symptoms so naturally taking them if you are already predisposed to psychosis is only going to make things far worse. If you are having psychotic symptoms please see a psychiatrist or atleast a GP about it instead of self medicating.
 
PMS,

How r u? Just read your thread. Thank you, Brave Heart. My story is the same. Less the guitar.?
I trust things have changed for the better for you now.
If you want, or need, I am willing to share my experiences with you. Maybe some grins because sometimes it is funny.
Maybe u could help me out. It has been 2 years for me, thus far.

Thank you for making me feel less crazy, already.

JmeLu402
 
I have had the same thing happen to me. I think things and then they happen two or three minutes afterwords. Don't laugh but it happens when I am tuning into politics, in particular with President Obama! I know I sound crazy, but I will think or say things EXACTLY like he says them minutes before. I also have the olfactory problems mentioned by the first poster. I have checked myself in the hospital several times as this all started when I was taking Vyvanse and because psychosis runs in my family.I have never been diagnosed schizophrenic because I don't hear or see things I just have the delusions. I also feel like people can read my mind and figure that I am either nuts or in some kind of spiritual free fall.
 
People are cruel and shitty. It's pushed me almost to the point of suicide. I am not a liar. If you had just admitted it was you and told me the truth I wouldn't have convinced myself that I was hearing voices, it's cruel and shitty. Someone confides in you that they are suicidal, if you made a mistake and didn't want to be there the only right thing to do is actually face them and tell them the truth. You are the worst kind of coward. Nothing I said is a lie and both of your refusal to see me and see that what I am saying is true and all your accusations of me being a liar are just a cover so you wont have to feel guilty. Everything I said is true and he is a bully and a coward, everything that has happened has subverted everything I have been trying to do. You would sooner see me taking anti-psychotics than just admit it and stop being a coward. I wont let it destroy me and I will come out on top and some day you will realize how horribly wrong you are.
 
I wasn't lying I heard all of you, wether it was now or then, or still to come, or even by reading this here and now changed things for you and I heard now what never will come. There was a time I would be so dead focused and would hear them, they, all of it clearer and louder as well which is key. You have or had no choice it was coming no matter what, get it in decode decipher, dissect, evaluate, assembled and put it together again and reverse engineered to be reassemble the jumble at the speed of thought to detect any new meaning or something missed and gain the confidence to take what you need from it if anything at all and let it go with no feeling that you will missed or misunderstood something making room for the next one(more then likely a hundred that feels like a billion) is right on its tail. A switch has been actuated and the floodgates have been opened, a bombardment ensues, everything before this time to now with hints of what will come is now on its way, it can not be stopped, it can not be delayed, not bartered nor reasoned with, only endured, survived. Stay calm breathe, smoke, adapt, it's easy to get stuck in loops, echoes, lost in translation, imagination armed with emotions run wild, frustrated, trapped, mentally raped, worn, humiliated, keep morale high, stay humble, stay positive, prepare to be overtaken, prepare to take such a beating there will be no emotion or any recognizable sign of yourself
Over the last 23 years(39 years old now) I've been through many stages of this very strange, unwanted, unbearable, unbeatable, unbelievable, and extremely uncontrollable, devestatingly unmentionable, transformation, some of which in my youth left me unable to even leave my bed for months. Even today I don't look at people in the eyes, I focus on their lips and for all they know I have hearing impairments. I rarely can look in my own eyes in mirrors more then a half a second. Time goes on and so do you. Everything happens for a reason, you realize you were built for this shit. Develope, individualize, accept, forgive, remove all that is unbecoming, master your gift(a friend will call it),master your environment, defend with honour respect yet so humble your perimeter, take back what you think you have lost and the essence of what you think you used to be, anything but an emotional-less shell. Realize this though, you will never be that person again.
You will question and be questioned ..what, who, where, when and most of all why you.
Then a very important thought you've encountered many days and nights, years, invisible tears, will return, a thought, an unanswered question, a question that so simple but in the many times before you could barely keep it on your lips, it wasn't time, you weren't ready to ask it to yourself never mind accepting any sort of answer, and it slipped away again. This time your ready, fate, destiny, some people were made for it, you were built for this shit. You make that question wait first in line in your mind and control its ass until you get comfortable, slowly and intentionally you revisit this familiar concept....... "How".

I have developed an answer, a theory if in fact that's what it is, I hope it makes sense, I hope it seems familiar and anything but foreign, I hope more can come of it, ripped apart, re-examined, reassembled, debated, reworked, refuted, disputed, disassembled again, reformulated and agreed to be added onto, remoulded, skillfully rebuilt to an accepted perfection.
Here it is then, may it not have been for nothing.


Reception, perception, conviction, emotion, translation

Reception The ability to realize, acknowledge and accept, a feeling you are overcome you feel it in your bones that triggers the need for the next steps to be invented and adopted, a feeling of being watched you turn and catch a persons eyes uncomfortably leaving you embarrassed they look down and away, a feeling someone is talking about you, you pick it out of the air as its electric in origin, the antennae.

Perception the ability to put yourself there instantly riding the adrenaline rush gut feeling from reception imagination ignites directs and projects you and that's how you got there being tuned into tracing the origins of that frequency of who is saying it, in their voice.

conviction The ability to hear what is said because they believe what they said to be true, giving an intensity and urgency to the words, fine tuning frequency gaining clarity
And obtaining a stronger connection that allows you to remain there

emotion. The ability To hear the feeling of anger, joy, hatred of how it's said in their voice, the emotional overtaking of the persons self control, composure, even if a boring lazy manner and topic, from meaningless tone to an extremely defined emotional reaction, getting even more Dailed in for even more clarity. A foot hold of sorts develops holding and helping you posture up and even look around. Often when combined with conviction(almost always conviction and emotion can come in any order or even feel the same and on top of each other if distinguished difference is detected at all) seems like it was out loud and right in front of you giving you sense of it was yelled or whispered. Gaining sight or insight into the situation as a whole.

translation. The ability to put it all together, accuracy is gained as to who it was who it was said to and when, where, who else was there, gaining aspects like visuals, clothes worn, body movements and body language(he said it to him and you know and felt he was instantly uncomfortable hearing that), the reactions and responses of those involved, opinions the mood and interaction, your presence is attaching adapting accepting it and more easily remaining

People can and do get stuck at any stage, confusion sets in, people that get stuck can't get it out of head either, a lot never recover, getting echoes, circling back, more reception takes place and a build up occurs, now stuck with multiple things to decipher, decode and your own emotions take over easy, frustration takes over, self control is lost, assumptions are made in hast inhibiting mistaken words or rushing jumping to conclusions, making it more difficult, all the while they are suppose to be in the here and now possibly at dinner table with family looking inward not in the here and now further inducing more own emotions, confusion, breakdown hopelessness, how to handle things. The hardest part is keeping a straight face. Moving the information in and out being ready for more, developing filters and blocks, skills confidence, helping control the flow as for the most part it's coming wether you like it or not.


When and if they are controlled combined and mastered, you can and will most definitely transcend time and space, you will after a lot of experience know it was said yesterday or even a week from now even covering great distances in an instance, thousands or miles, I've hit my max at around 4 thousand miles only because I don't know anyone beyond where I was and where I am from, it's a unique feeling on its own.

Im sure I have more to say but I'll leave it at that for now feel free to let me know what you think or any improvements that can be introduced, thanks for your time in reviewing this matter, may we all take something from it, even if only a smile.

Thetravler
 
Hello,I have almost the same story except seeing things or hearing voices,what happened to me is that I thought that people could Read my Mind,but not for long,only a month I had these paranoid things...I went to psychiatrist,I told him that I smoke weed(I quit year and a half now),but even him didn't know from what that was coming from.I had these delusions that I was entering a new world where all the people were good except me,I was becoming obsessed that I was going to die by the time that was written in my ID card "expiration date",I started to calculate numbers in my head in facebook by their birth date,if it was 5 that means that he was a average man,if it was over 5 that meant that they were people with some super powers,and everything that I thought I calculated by numbers for example:some had good souls,some bad,someone was rich someone not.
One time I was on the bus and I thought if I call my dad right now the sun will move ,it was almost sunset,so I called him and the sun literally moved,rised up.
Also I had these thoughts that in my past I have caused a lot of trouble by making accidents around the world only by thinking them,I saw a dream of 9/11 towers,when I woke up I checked in facebook,and someone of my facebook friends posted a status "No words needed".
I thought that I had some super powers only by saying something with my mouth and it will be done because I say so.I have so much to say,but I want to ask everyone of you some questions.

Questions: 1.Did you ever felt like you had some super powers?
2.Do you have some kind of dark secrets or private things that you never told to no one?
3.Did you ever thought that you can stop people from reading your mind with some trick?Mine was interlocking my index finger to the first finger.
4.Do you fear death? Because I don't fear death.And maybe that's the reason why we are being mind readed.
5.Did you had dreams like some dark souls are getting out of your body,or dreams like someone was saying to you what they can't say to your face.
6.Did you ever felt like if someone tries to kill you but they couldn't because you are invincible.
7.Did you ever thought that if you kill yourself it will be the end of the world.
8.Do you ejaculate when you're seeing a sex dream.
9.Do you think that when someone asks you a question,they mean something else,kind of like indirect question, for example: "Do you smoke?" what they mean: "Did you thought about 'this or that' "
10.Have you ever thought that you are some kind of God for short period time,or you said it like "I'm God"?...I didn't said it,but people around me kept saying like "someone once said that he is a god."
11.Do you think sometimes that you're a cold person,and you don't have compassion for things,and you don't cry never for someone?

Now at the moment I'm pretty good with my life,I don't have any kind of paranoia,but I still have my doubts sometimes.

Sorry for my English,I'm waiting for your answers.
 
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I have never experienced any of the things you listed but have heard voices at one intense time in my life that spanned a few years. One of the things that I think when I see the things you listed is that these would be experienced by a person that has been traumatized into a deep separation from his or her true self.
 
It doesn't have to be this way.

***READ ME***

I know exactly what most of you all are going through. It's pretty much the same M.O. word for word. :( Sadly it's the loners, the abuse victims, and sufferers of mental disorders like Asperger's/PTSD, who are the prime targets of this mental bullying. :X You must stay STRONG and be confident. Know who you are, a GOOD, loving individual. Keep involved and focused with your life, seek support from others that truly understand. It helps out time to know you're not alone. :D Remember this emotional roller coaster of negativity is not for you, don't feed into the lies. It's all a ploy to cause you to do things out of character, like acting out in public, appearing crazy to friends and neighbors. Don't allow the voices to dictate who you are or what you're to do. They are just nagging thoughts, YOU are in control. %)
 
dacft0 said:
***READ ME***

I know exactly what most of you all are going through. It's pretty much the same M.O. word for word. :( Sadly it's the loners, the abuse victims, and sufferers of mental disorders like Asperger's/PTSD, who are the prime targets of this mental bullying. :X You must stay STRONG and be confident. Know who you are, a GOOD, loving individual. Keep involved and focused with your life, seek support from others that truly understand. It helps out time to know you're not alone. :D Remember this emotional roller coaster of negativity is not for you, don't feed into the lies. It's all a ploy to cause you to do things out of character, like acting out in public, appearing crazy to friends and neighbors. Don't allow the voices to dictate who you are or what you're to do. They are just nagging thoughts, YOU are in control. %)
Click to expand...

Best advice yet dacft0.
 
I hate to make fun of mental illness, but this is, by far, the most entertaining thread on BL for me.

Look - y'all have drug induced psychosis. Yeah, I know you "know its not schizophrenia because the voices are really there".

You also smoke a lot of meth or use adderal or vyvanse or whatever other stimulant you're on.

Lay off the shit and go see a fucking doctor before you become a threat to yourself or society (or that pesky neighbor who you're certain is spending 24 hours of his day sending you "brain zaps" using DARPA/HAARP/magic "technology").

Jesus-fucking-Murphy!
 
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