Brief Background
Well, as strange as it sounds I started using speed/meth whatever you want to call it a couple years back simply to lose weight. I was in the military for a short time so I was decently fit but when I got out... boy I sat down (started drinking everyday and not exercising) and just did not want to get back up.
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So I was hanging out with some people one day (and I've kinda always been that guy that says no to drugs) they offered me a hit and I'd simply just stop caring. I didn't plan on continuing it, so I gave it a shot, didn't care much for it really. It made me overly paranoid, clenching my jaw... just couldn't function, but after being high for about 5 hours I started getting the hang of it and stopped most of the problems. Throughout my high I realized that I just wasn't really hungry, I did like that aspect of it. I knew it was the drugs so I forced myself to at least eat dinner anyway.
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So anyway, long story short the next day I thought... well hell, hit a bowl a couple times, gives me a small kick in the butt to get up and move around and at the sametime it stops me from eating out of boredom. ...So I fell for it, I went back and smoked some more with them but this time I reminded myself of the things I didn't like about it and monitored myself very closely making sure I wasn't walking around like a dysfunctional, gnashing tweaker and I succeeded. I've managed to do meth for the last 3-4 years and the only person that ever knows is my mother, but for some reason I can't have a single beer without her knowing somehow, I mean, I could go home, take a shower, brush my teeth, sleep and a week later go visit her and the first thing she says to me is "Have you been drinking?" see but it's more of a rhetorical question in her words because she already knows, she just wants to see if I'll tell her to truth. I get so tired of her asking me all the time that half the time I don't even hear what she says, I just agree and move on with my day. She always knows somehow... She acts like I'm a alcohol that stumbles around town all day with a 40 in my hand. I've been drinking so long I can drink a 5th of whiskey to myself and still look/act/drive/sit/fly/run/walk/as sober as anyone else if not better.
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...But, I was searching online for some random information regarding drugs and came acrossed this post and thought I'd share my story with you guys because in the world I live in people would call you an addict if you drink to much wine at dinner. I know there are ways of looking at my useage and saying that I could be considered and addict but in my book and addict is someone that just can't stop, or even moderate his/her intake, for example, I have never personally held more than 10$ worth of speed in my hand at one time. Simple reasons, I'm scared shitless that I'll get caught and small amounts in powder form can easily be blown to the wind and secondly, if I don't buy a lot then I can't do a lot, so I force myself to moderate my intake so I never get to attached to it.
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Not to mention, sometimes I'll forget all about it and go months without it and then one day I'll run into someone I know and they'll ask me if I want to buy some or know anyone looking to buy some. Then I'll debate it for a bit with myself and eventually give in to my more primitive desire to sit the hell down and relax and rekt some damn video games, you know. ...but, what I'm meaning to say is that, by definition or even personal feelings and obviously being myself and having known myself my whole life, I do not consider myself an addict. On the other hand my own mother seems to think I'm some druggy, carpet surfing for rocks. I mean, she's seen me high like 4 times in the last few years and the only reason she "thinks" I'm high even if I'm not is because pupil dilation.
Anyway, I'm going to move on the next section. --nevermind I guess I've answered all the questions in my rant up there.
...Well, let me know what you guys think, am I crazy? Mind you, I come from a long line of people that probably never even seen meth in their life, although, sometimes I suspect that my father may have used from time to time, but who knows.
...And by the way, I think the only reason I'm asking is because I come from people that don't know anything about this side of life so I'm kind of standing on my own in that world and it'd be nice to have someone just say that I'm not crazy or they're just straight edged idiots making things way worse then it is, because there are people out there with REAL addiction problems that they should be worried about, I'm a recreational user.
Let me know...
...LudaCritz