Taking Shrooms With Depersonalization.. ?

[kanyeknievel]

Sooo... here is the background on the situation, I am sure what I should do.

I developed Depersonalization about 3 years ago I would say. It happened after I stopped smoking for a week, smoked 3 bowls out of a bong in about 2 minutes and got SO HIGH that I freaked out, panicked and put my brain into i suppose defensive/safe mode. The panic most likely came from the fact that about 2/3 weeks earlier I had tripped on LSD and I made the mistake of taking more after already dropping.. first time.

It was a great trip for the first 6-7 hours, the next 8-10 were hell. So the insane high from weed made me sorta flashback to that and think it was laced or my friend put lsd in my water or something.. but I know that was ridiculous.

After that I couldn't smoke weed, couldn't smell it or even be in the room and I used to be a huge dealer with people coming over everyday to smoke.. so this was not normal for me. Over the next year I made small steps and I overcame that stupid fear of thinking weed would make something bad happen, I smelled it.. fine. I was in the room with it... fine. Then I worked into smoking and being find and not freaking out. The fear was getting high and freaking out.. and I have learned that I control that and I can smoke now and whenever I want, though it isn't the same at the moment (until this clears up).

When it first happened I couldn't/didn't want to leave my house, I didn't want to be around anyone, I was scared and afraid. I didn't know what it was. I dropped out of Senior year.. and then over the past 3 years I have since A. Been to England 3 times. B. The first I went with a brother-in-law, stayed with him until I had to part ways to go where I had a friend and he did (We were supposed to meet back after a few days, but I decided to stay with this girl for the entire time). C. THe next 2 days I went completely alone, flew there by myself, went through the airport there, train stations, towns, cities, everywhere by myself both there and back ... and in the beginning I couldn't even go to school or be around people and I was in England by myself, basically "trapped" if you will, for a month + at a time and I was fine.

I don't think or noticed the Depersonalization nearly at all like I used to. I used to think of it when I woke up each day and going to sleep.. because it does that until you break the thinking cycle/loop of worrying and anxiety. Now I just go through each day (know it still feels different, that I don't feel completely me) but not thinking of it at all, not stopping to think about it, and don't give it attention. I go to College classes each day and have had many jobs through the past years, I have been able to do everything I used to do.


Now I am faced with a decision I don't know what to do. I have shrooms, I was given them from a friend and I gave most of them to my other friends, but I saved some for myself incase I ever want to do it with them. I have tripped on shrooms before, it was before the LSD and I had a very good time. It was great, the night sky was purple, I laid in the sand at the lake/beach and ran my hand through it for an hour saying how beautiful it was cuz it was purple.. i rolled down a hill of grass that was glistening in the light It was very fun, at a few points I was like " O _ O .... alright, alright I'm cool forget it... these bushes AREN'T going to say anything to you, just walk away before they might " lmfao. Cuz I was going to pee in the bushes and I was thinking that the bushes are gonna start talking any second..

And I had a great time with them.. I Sorta took them after that, but maybe a gram and I didn't really trip and didn't want to.


So now I DO want to trip, but then there is the fear of possibly something going wrong and being stuck in it.. though whenever I think that or say that, I also think... that is ME thinking that. I AM THE ONE who will cause that fear to become a reality by thinking that now, thinking it could or will happen.. but my concern is I don't know if there may be consequences for this or not.
Why?

Because I have read this http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/27895-magic-mushrooms-cured-me/

But I have also seen many posts of people saying they got DP from shrooms/lsd/ecstasy/weed. Many things, but I know that it is attributed to more than a drug, it is attributed to hidden anxiety and possibly other issues. I have rolled countless times in my highschool years, I was a HUGE dealer and took them multiple times on a weekly basis, only the best. So I could have gotten it from E as others did, but never did.. it was the LSD bad trip + the weed and other things.. (I had just gotten arrested 3 weeks prior to the trigger event also).



So, I am asking people who may have experience with Depersonalization and have overcome it. People who have depersonalization and have taken shrooms while they had it... people who didn't have it but took shrooms and it occurred.. or people who overcame it and took shrooms after... Elaborate on what happened, details, things I should know to make my decision.

It is something I want to do because I want a experience that will be fun and possibly change some of my thinking and outlook for the better, as well as to be able to face one of my fears.. and conquer it and possibly from conquering that very fear that made this happen, resolve this DP . Because I conquered the fear of weed and getting high, and this is something I've always wanted to conquer and face.. but it is a hard decision as you may all imagine.

 

[Thorns Have Roses]

I was depersonalized for a few months, was the result of the drugs I was abusing at the time, and it alleviated pretty quickly after I ceased use, though I have had transient episodes here and there since (nothing serious or long lasting). I was able to trip successfully during this time period.

As for your situation, I can see it going either way. Maybe it'll help, maybe it'll make it worse, there's no way to predict the outcome.

 

[kanyeknievel]

I had was depersonalized for a few months, was the result of the drugs I was abusing at the time, and it alleviated pretty quickly after I ceased use, though I have had transient episodes here and there since (nothing serious or long lasting). I was able to trip successfully during this time period.

As for your situation, I can see it going either way. Maybe it'll help, maybe it'll make it worse, there's no way to predict the outcome.

Well with you going through it.. I would suspect that you had it occur from underlying anxiety issues, and maybe others? (Since it is an anxiety symptom , and lots of people use drugs and abuse them for certain reasons and don't find out till after) That is what happened with me, I didn't realize there were a lot of reasons I smoked weed every single day for 2 1/2 years - 3 years.. but I definitely have anxiety.. had anxiety underlying and definitely surprised that grealy, as you can see by my progress.

I too have abused drugs, I did stop for a 7 month period of time after it happened.. everything (though I was on suboxone I believe during a period of this time). But before that it was high school .. weed, e, any drug.. to the DP Percs > OCs > Heroin > Coke > Back to Heroin > Suboxone (until 3 weeks ago I just stopped taking it ) and I just stopped smoking weed also.

Anyways, point being that never really dealt with my anxiety and issues, basically figured out who i am and my emotions until recently. I believe it is an anxiety issue, and during the time you didn't do drugs you resolved the anxiety? Is that how you overcame the DP ? Great to see someone else that has overcome, not just for me, but for others who may be lurking and have it and feel hopeless about it still.

So, I ask if you believe it was anxiety and you dealt with your anxiety because .. I have dealt with and resolved my anxiety a lot, and if it is 100% anxiety disorder, I can't see it becoming worse at all because I don't believe a trip could make me backtrack months of progress.. tho I don't know. Tough choke really... I am also thinking maybe take a small amount.. go from there also. Ease myself into it.

If I decide to do it, I told my best friend I need to do the following cause it is a big decision:
-A meditate pretty heavily the day(s) before. Settle thoughts and ideas and concerns about it
-Make sure I am completely okay and ready. realize what will happen and can happen and know what I am doing
-The perfect time to do it, perfect day. During the day, a nice day.
-With him and my other best friend .. only tripping, no sober people..
-Be outside most of the time, if not all (at least the main part) .. basically everything needs to be perfect.

 

[Thorns Have Roses]

I wouldn't say I've resolved my anxiety issues, but I figured out why I had them (and that I had them), and developed better ways of dealing with them, recognizing unhealthy thought patterns as what they are (and something I can control to an extent), etc.

I think if you feel you've got a handle on things, and are careful with set/setting, there's a good chance it will go well.

 

[kanyeknievel]

I wouldn't say I've resolved my anxiety issues, but I figured out why I had them (and that I had them), and developed better ways of dealing with them, recognizing unhealthy thought patterns as what they are (and something I can control to an extent), etc.

I think if you feel you've got a handle on things, and are careful with set/setting, there's a good chance it will go well.

Did you figure out why you had them, that you had them, and then develop those ways of the ways of dealing with them , etc. DURING the whole DP experience or during the trip?

 

[Sun Drugs]

I know EXACTLY what you are going through because I went through a very similar situation myself. Long story short, I freaked out on psychedelics + weed + synthetic cannabinoids 3 years ago and to this day experience some transient depersonalization. I can smoke tiny amounts of weed and be fine, but it isn't the same.

As for psychedelics (in particular 4-HO-MET and 4-AcO-DMT), I have attempted to try them when I am in a good mental state (not feeling anxious/depersonalized) and every single time I can't bring myself to fully enjoy the experience. But, I will say this: the longer time passes, the easier it has gotten; every trip has been better than the last. My latest trip on 10mg of 4-HO-MET was quite enjoyable.

That is just my experience. The fact that you seem to be very prepared for this, and that you are able to enjoy weed again are good signs. It goes without saying, but if you do decide to do this, don't start with too high of a dose.

 

[dour3323]

Sooo... here is the background on the situation, I am sure what I should do.

I developed Depersonalization about 3 years ago I would say. It happened after I stopped smoking for a week, smoked 3 bowls out of a bong in about 2 minutes and got SO HIGH that I freaked out, panicked and put my brain into i suppose defensive/safe mode. The panic most likely came from the fact that about 2/3 weeks earlier I had tripped on LSD and I made the mistake of taking more after already dropping.. first time.

It was a great trip for the first 6-7 hours, the next 8-10 were hell. So the insane high from weed made me sorta flashback to that and think it was laced or my friend put lsd in my water or something.. but I know that was ridiculous.

After that I couldn't smoke weed, couldn't smell it or even be in the room and I used to be a huge dealer with people coming over everyday to smoke.. so this was not normal for me. Over the next year I made small steps and I overcame that stupid fear of thinking weed would make something bad happen, I smelled it.. fine. I was in the room with it... fine. Then I worked into smoking and being find and not freaking out. The fear was getting high and freaking out.. and I have learned that I control that and I can smoke now and whenever I want, though it isn't the same at the moment (until this clears up).

When it first happened I couldn't/didn't want to leave my house, I didn't want to be around anyone, I was scared and afraid. I didn't know what it was. I dropped out of Senior year.. and then over the past 3 years I have since A. Been to England 3 times. B. The first I went with a brother-in-law, stayed with him until I had to part ways to go where I had a friend and he did (We were supposed to meet back after a few days, but I decided to stay with this girl for the entire time). C. THe next 2 days I went completely alone, flew there by myself, went through the airport there, train stations, towns, cities, everywhere by myself both there and back ... and in the beginning I couldn't even go to school or be around people and I was in England by myself, basically "trapped" if you will, for a month + at a time and I was fine.

I don't think or noticed the Depersonalization nearly at all like I used to. I used to think of it when I woke up each day and going to sleep.. because it does that until you break the thinking cycle/loop of worrying and anxiety. Now I just go through each day (know it still feels different, that I don't feel completely me) but not thinking of it at all, not stopping to think about it, and don't give it attention. I go to College classes each day and have had many jobs through the past years, I have been able to do everything I used to do.


Now I am faced with a decision I don't know what to do. I have shrooms, I was given them from a friend and I gave most of them to my other friends, but I saved some for myself incase I ever want to do it with them. I have tripped on shrooms before, it was before the LSD and I had a very good time. It was great, the night sky was purple, I laid in the sand at the lake/beach and ran my hand through it for an hour saying how beautiful it was cuz it was purple.. i rolled down a hill of grass that was glistening in the light It was very fun, at a few points I was like " O _ O .... alright, alright I'm cool forget it... these bushes AREN'T going to say anything to you, just walk away before they might " lmfao. Cuz I was going to pee in the bushes and I was thinking that the bushes are gonna start talking any second..

And I had a great time with them.. I Sorta took them after that, but maybe a gram and I didn't really trip and didn't want to.


So now I DO want to trip, but then there is the fear of possibly something going wrong and being stuck in it.. though whenever I think that or say that, I also think... that is ME thinking that. I AM THE ONE who will cause that fear to become a reality by thinking that now, thinking it could or will happen.. but my concern is I don't know if there may be consequences for this or not.
Why?

Because I have read this http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/27895-magic-mushrooms-cured-me/

But I have also seen many posts of people saying they got DP from shrooms/lsd/ecstasy/weed. Many things, but I know that it is attributed to more than a drug, it is attributed to hidden anxiety and possibly other issues. I have rolled countless times in my highschool years, I was a HUGE dealer and took them multiple times on a weekly basis, only the best. So I could have gotten it from E as others did, but never did.. it was the LSD bad trip + the weed and other things.. (I had just gotten arrested 3 weeks prior to the trigger event also).



So, I am asking people who may have experience with Depersonalization and have overcome it. People who have depersonalization and have taken shrooms while they had it... people who didn't have it but took shrooms and it occurred.. or people who overcame it and took shrooms after... Elaborate on what happened, details, things I should know to make my decision.

It is something I want to do because I want a experience that will be fun and possibly change some of my thinking and outlook for the better, as well as to be able to face one of my fears.. and conquer it and possibly from conquering that very fear that made this happen, resolve this DP . Because I conquered the fear of weed and getting high, and this is something I've always wanted to conquer and face.. but it is a hard decision as you may all imagine.

Hey man i know its been a long ass time but im somebody who really struggles with depersonalization and derealization and i was thinking of doing shrooms recently. Just wanted to see a different point of view of the world and possibly sort of heal my anxiety. My question is did you end up doing the shrooms, if so how was your trip: do you feel like it helped your situation?? Also, I know its been awhile but how is your mental health in general, are you still taking drugs, have you done anything else to get rid of your DP/DR regarding diet or exercise? Just asking because your advice would really help Thanks