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Blast Off

DMTimmyJ

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 13, 2008
Messages
53
Greetings fellow cloud nine explorers,
Lately I've been digging deep into my consciousness to find some answers on how to balance my addictions, with my overall well-being. I'm hoping if I write my thoughts down and potentially receive some interesting insight from you guys, I will get closer to this goal. Many things in my life have been taken for granted, I won't get into it, but I could of had it really good. Instead I'm single, broke, and my conscious is littered with guilt. Anyways I started chasing the dragon about a month ago for the first time and this may sound completely rediculous, but a hit or two completely cures my restless legs syndrome and insomnia. Doctors won't help me with these issues and I don't have health insurance anyway. Basically I'd love to hear a success story from someone who has managed to recreationally or medicinally use BTH without his/her life falling apart. Should I quit while I'm ahead? Pills have ruined my life, but at the same time they keep me sane and grounded. Kind of sucks however, hiding your main motivation to live, "drugs", from everyone you know including your best friend. I've hidden my pill addiction from my best friend for like 5 years. We smoke the good ganja of course, but damn, he must think I'm bipolar or something. One day I'm going through tramadol withdrawals depressed as a motherfucker, and the next day I'm high as shit showing an obscene amount of enthusiasm for petty shit, haha.

P.S. My lighter has the Apollo 11 rocket on it and it's amusing to me to think that my Apollo 11 lighter is helping me blast off to cloud nine, hah. Hence the title.
 
Idk anyone who had managed to use it medicinally...pretty soon you will be smoking it all day everyday and yeah it will make your life fall apart. It ruined my life and many other peoples l know too. Stuff is the devil...
 
Thanks for the insight.. hah. yes heroin. "chasing the dragon"? But yea im done after this last bag.
 
You don't really need to rely on doctors for RLS and insomnia. I used to have RLS really badly and I've found two things to be the best cure--keeping coffee to a minimum or not at all and exercising during the day with stretches right before bed that really stretch the calf muscles. As far as insomnia goes, there are so many non drug ways to mitigate it, from sleep hygiene to mindfulness meditation and, again, heavy exercise during the day. I still use a medicinal edible (weed) when it gets really bad but for the most part I can do without those and that might not be the answer if you are trying to be completely sober.

Definitely, and I can tell you don't need anyone else telling you this, get off heroin and stay far, far away from it and anything like it.

Welcome! Hope you get a lot of support here for your journey.<3
 
Thanks, yea honestly if I'm working full time and being active my sleeping problems and my RLS are barely noticeable. One of the reasons it's been so bad these past few weeks is due to a mild tramadol withdrawal.
I live on my own, but I get a lot of help from my dad and his girlfriend. I used to look at bums on the side of the road and ask how the hell could someone let that happen, but now I know exactly how it happens. They are disgusted with me nowadays. I'm broke, I only work part time barely, I can hardly feed myself! It's all too easy to ask my dealer neighbor to introduce me to heroin. Obviously my addict mind tries to justify it everyway that it can. Even though I still recognize who I really am and what I want to accomplish in life, I can't seem to shake it. I'm 21 and I first tried my parents percs when I was 14.. BAM. And when I know I can't score anything I fear the nights ahead. Anxiety, depression, and insomnia takes over. Part of it I think is not having one person on this planet to talk to about it so thanks, I'm sure I'll fit in fine here. But anyway I think the number one thing that would help me personally is a full time job. And I'll always have my friend Mary Jane to ease the loneliness.
 
yeah a full time job will definitely help, don't go the opiate route, there are people who can use opiates and lead productive lives (william s burroughs) but i'd say that's an exception. Overall i didn't enjoy being on opiates for the 2 years or so i was, i slept half the day, nodded off and generally just missed out on life. It was a waste of time if nothing else.
 
I did manage to stay away from it for like 5 years until my ex and the kids moved out of my house and I went right back to it. Add meth to the mix and that's where I'm at.
 
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