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Satanic xmas to everybody!

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I want to wear a satan shirt on Xmas. And it's Christmas, you fuckers. Stop trying to take Christ out of Christmas. My private school teachers would smack you with a ruler for that.
you can spank me with a ruler anytime :)
 
According to legend, Santa was actually the Catholic saint Nicholas.
His staff wielded the cross, and behind it he led his army of tyrants promising ever lasting life.
He traveled from small village to small village demanding all their goods. His scouts would invade the chimneys.
 
Hail Satan, Merry Deathmas to all and to all go die.

Commercialism is satanic infact :) it's greed thinking u need more and more and thats all santa and the holidays do is making people want is gifts.

Idk if i like deathmas or methmas better :) Merry methmas to all and to all cracked out
 
Hail Satan, Merry Deathmas to all and to all go die.

Commercialism is satanic infact :) it's greed thinking u need more and more and thats all santa and the holidays do is making people want is gifts.

Idk if i like deathmas or methmas better :) Merry methmas to all and to all cracked out
Idk if methmas is all its cooked up to be...
 
My family is pretty poor.

Thought we weren't going to get xmas dinner at all this season..until that rather well-hidden stash of claymores I left under the snow on the roof that was.

Puts the rain in 'reindeer'. And they come down ready cooked and jointed too.


Anglo santa 'Ho Ho Ho merry christmas!'

American santa 'fucking lazy bastards, DRIVE, I don't care how tired you are rudolf, but them paranoid buggrin' yanks are blitzen at us with antiaircraft fire, your going to end up as donner if you don't haul tail.

North korean santa just got shot at dawn for mass theft and misappropriation of the the government store of the presents the people worked to produce for the motherland.

Nazi santa-gave out fantastically well engineered presents, but only to children who can prove themselves of pure german ancestry. And zoose vho arrh naughty, vell vee haff vays of maykeeng you be nice!

Jewish santa resents that of course, but goes down the chimneys no matter who they belong to, and approaches each kid individually, asks them how much they are willing to pay to rent a present.

Oirish saanta, he gets too pissed on the sherry, leaves his sleigh keys in some puzzled child's stocking most years, makes it round the first five or six houses then collapses pissed on the house roof, local po-po are sick and tired of having to drag the fat fucking bastard all the way back to the van to sleep it off in the drunk tank for the next 11 months.


Dyslexic santa, well he screwed up BIG TIME this year, climbed down the chimney, left the youngest kid in the oven, blamed it on his big brother, and left the middle age girl the severed head of the family cat. Got home, thought 'shit its cold for these parts...'

Only THEN did he realise quite how badly mistaken he was about that job ad........


Scouser santa just coshed the big fat git on the noggin and split with the loot, popping by the scrap yard on the way to cash in the metal from the reindeer hooves for a few extra pints of stella worth.

Daily mail santa (was actually a prolific paedophile until a gay muslim ran up, showed him what being buggered was actually like, then sawed his head off to burn on top of the pile of those disgusting heathen idols, allahu akhbar!)

The Sun santa (just like most kids eventually figure out, was a big fat lie the entire time)

The daily sport santa couldn't really care less about the sensatioTITS!ARSE!GOBSHITE!

Although St.Nick is getting on a bit. Won't it be somewhat worrying if he either A-gets pasted in traffic, crashes his sleigh due to cataracts, or in the worst case, hangs up the mantle, and formally becomes OLD nick?
 
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