Alcoholism Discussion Thread Version 6.0

[SkagKush]

^ thanks alot Pale Rider... means alot...

its defiantly a change not drinking a bottle or a flat a day. And being out of the grips of down is a blessing...

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

Here's a question for everyone in this thread or reading this thread: What do you do about holiday parties or weddings where alcohol is served and you're around friends and acquaintances who are alcoholics who want you to drink, or who you did drink with in the past before you got sober?

 

[Captain Brewster]

i'm used to drinking most nights of the week. i had one bad episode of drinking since i started on my meds, and have resolved to quit since. i've done well so far.

Oh god, I would kill to get a Dillon Moran silver star, that shit would make my day.

 

[Pale Rider]

Here's a question for everyone in this thread or reading this thread: What do you do about holiday parties or weddings where alcohol is served and you're around friends and acquaintances who are alcoholics who want you to drink, or who you did drink with in the past before you got sober?

At weddings and parties you surround yourself with people who care and don’t mind not drinking so they can look out for you, it does get easier. “Friends and acquaintances who are alcoholics”, now that’s the hard bit, personally imo I wouldn’t have them around me, you need to look after yourself and where possible remove all temptation. You can’t ignore your old friends but just not associate with them in that way, obviously this approach isn’t for everyone so please don’t blast me for it. Take care and stay safe.

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

At weddings and parties you surround yourself with people who care and don’t mind not drinking so they can look out for you, it does get easier. “Friends and acquaintances who are alcoholics”, now that’s the hard bit, personally imo I wouldn’t have them around me, you need to look after yourself and where possible remove all temptation. You can’t ignore your old friends but just not associate with them in that way, obviously this approach isn’t for everyone so please don’t blast me for it. Take care and stay safe.

I think that you have the right idea about how I should not hang out with friends and acquaintances who are alcoholics and it's an excellent idea and one I've been putting into practice the last few months. I asked this since I got invited to a friend's holiday party and their wedding next year. This friend is an alcoholic and so are some of our mutual acquaintances and I used to drink with them in the past.

I have not told them I'm sober since they would not believe me, they would not understand, and they don't even know that they themselves are alcoholics.

I'll be OK at the holiday party since I can just easily leave if I have to, and I'll be bringing a bottle of seltzer water to drink instead of alcohol. At the wedding reception if I go I'd be sitting at my friend's table and it's out of state so it's not like I can just leave or only go to the wedding and not the reception. Someone suggested to me that I should take a sober friend with me but I don't have any sober friends and my friend is only expecting me to go to the wedding and reception and not to bring a date or anyone else. Also I do not need a keeper for my sobriety since it's all up to me.

I could just RSVP and say no to going to the wedding and reception, and that's just what I might do.

 

[SkagKush]

even just remembering how low I was makes me not want to drink or use at all. Not to be this guy but doing a set of steps seems to have removed my obsession...

 

[Vaya]

Got sentenced to prison time for that DUI I spoke of a while ago. Lemme just say this: to me, the truest sign on the road is "DUI: Tou can't afford it."

I'm against feeling self-piteous right now, but since August, I've slowly lost everything I held dear in my life since getting clean early last November.

Although I've been handling things as professionally and as stoically as I can, I feel as though I'm going to break. It seems like an inevitability. Thank you all for your posts, as reading this thread has truly kept the disease of addiction green in my mind.

Best wishes to you all...

~ Vaya

 

[junglejuice]

^You'll get through this

How's everyone doing?

Still sober here

:D

 

[onechance]

Is it a tad delusional to think that these habits will just tone down with age?
Right now I'm thinking it's better to drink more often and trying to control it than less often leading up to a crazy episode... friggin punched a window in the other night (I'm a non aggressive small girl)
There will always be times when it gets bad. But I hate being sober all the time. I want to say there's nothing to look forward to but that's not exactly what I mean. Everyday life just isn't reward enough.

 

[motherofearth]

It's a little premature for me to declare victory, but December has been a good month in terms of drinking. I've had a scotch here, a shot of bourbon there, and a Guinness on my birthday, but only once did I come close to being intoxicated.

I don't mean to come around and flout alcoholism, but instead revel in my success (this month) in avoiding intoxication while still enjoying the occasional drink(s).

I hope everyone else on this thread is meeting their goals as well, whether that be moderation or complete abstinence, you have my respect for your efforts

 

[Mariposa]

I am meeting some of my goals (mine is moderation, not necessarily abstinence) but not others. Not surprisingly, holiday cheer came partly from the bottle. I have avoided drugs except my Adderall when I need to concentrate, and I've never misused pot. I haven't taken my benzos in over a month and I have not had any alcohol (or plan to) today. It is time for me to dry out again. Nothing bad happened, I'm just a little moody due to the time of year. I didn't spend much time with my family; even though I am far from home, some of them do live here. What I DID do right was spend time with food and friends. I think I like the holidays better this way.

onechance, I do understand about sober life, it bores me a lot of the time. I'm trying to really enjoy being sober, because when I'm sober, things just tend to go better for me. I wish I were like some people who find sobriety rewarding, but I am simply not.

 

[onechance]

I wish I were like some people who find sobriety rewarding, but I am simply not.

Not denying how much that fact sucks but that made me laugh. dark humour.

 

[Lolie]

onechance, I do understand about sober life, it bores me a lot of the time. I'm trying to really enjoy being sober, because when I'm sober, things just tend to go better for me. I wish I were like some people who find sobriety rewarding, but I am simply not.

This resonated with me so much - I could have written it myself back when I was abusing alcohol. I guess what's interesting for me is that having put the alcohol abuse behind me (I do drink occasionally but it's now years since I've abused alcohol), the presence or absence of alcohol in my life is no longer a reference point for me.

While my life is infinitely more rewarding now that it doesn't revolve around alcohol abuse, I don't really think of it in terms of "sobriety" being rewarding per se. For me, it's more that alcohol abuse impaired my ability to enjoy my life and diminished my motivation to fix the things I was unhappy with (alcohol was always an "escape" for me - it allowed me to mentally escape when I couldn't physically do so). I enjoy my life now that I no longer abuse alcohol, but the absence of abuse didn't create that enjoyment - it simply allows it. Ceasing to abuse alcohol was necessary for me to find contentment but it certainly wasn't sufficient.

Drinking stopped being fun for me a long time before I stopped abusing alcohol. These days, I find drinking itself boring. I enjoy having a few drinks alongside activities which are enjoyable in and of themselves, but I find activities where drinking is the main event boring and don't feel like I'm missing out at all by declining invitations to such events.

My best friend is really struggling with alcohol at the moment and I hate that there's so little I can do to help her in any meaningful way. I hate even more than I'm going to have to put some distance between us because the combination of her alcohol abuse and the general mess her life has become has a significant negative impact on my own life and I'm starting to feel like I'm enabling her by always being there to listen when she's having a bad time. The problems which underpin her alcohol abuse are very real - as were my own - but no amount of empathy on my part is going to help her solve them and she's not yet ready (and perhaps never will be ready) to take any action to solve them. I feel like a shitty friend for needing to create distance between us even though I know my own well-being requires me to redefine the boundaries of our friendship.

So on the one hand, I like my life now that I no longer abuse alcohol. On the other hand, alcohol abuse still has a negative impact on my life and requires me to make difficult choices on occasion.

 

[CartmansKitty]

Hey guys!

I'm a long time lurker, but joined the forums to give you guys some moral support!


Well, first of all, I guess a little background. I'm now a (nearly) 32 year old woman, and I was a full blown alcoholic for about 10 years until I finally came to my senses and stopped 3 years this ago this month. I started drinking shortly after my family rejected me after coming out as gay. (Long story, maybe one day I will get round to sharing it!) Towards the end of my 'booze life', I had taken to sneaking litre bottles of vodka into the house to stave off the shakes shortly after my partner went to work each day. I drank it neat, and although it would make me vomit (the first few sips of each bottle) I would gulp it down, and when it was gone - stagger around to the shop to buy more. I couldn't eat, and I certainly couldn't sleep, and every single waking moment was consumed with where my next drink was coming from. Towards the end - my partner thought I was ill - (we had a strict 'no booze' rule
after coming home countless times to find me drunk with me promising 'never again'.) and it was after a severe vomiting session and her helping me up to bed that she found a bottle of vodka hidden in my pillow case. (Stupid place to hide it, but heck - who thinks normally when they're drunk?) I had never seen her so mad - she didn't say a word, and went down to sit on her PC.

Looking back, that was the catalyst to making me better. The fear of losing my then partner - (we're now married after I straightened myself out!) spurred me on to really mean to give it up. The first few weeks were absolute hell on earth - constant vomiting, my eyeballs were yellowish, no sleep, shakes etc, and I tried AA, but, decided after 2 meetings it wasn't for me so I did it alone.

The first year I also had the biggest test - I lost my grandmother of whom I was very close - she took me in when my mother kicked me out. However, I stayed strong. To this day now, I don't regret giving it up. I look back and can see what a poison it is - alcohol pretends to be there for you, when in reality all it does is make things worse.

Sorry for chipping in - but if anyone ever wants to talk, I'm here.

 

[CartmansKitty]

Hey Crampz, if you're reading - I have responded to your message - but I guess you have to wait 180 minutes to reply too. Chin up!

 

[herbavore]

^Hey, Cartmanskitty, welcome and thanks for coming in to offer support. The hopefulness of having been through the worst and coming out the other side is always appreciated round here. I'm glad your partner stuck with you and that you faced your fears and stuck it out. When you say that you did it alone, did you have any support through friends or anything?

Great story and glad you are here!

 

[pk.]

4th day in a row drinking now, I don't feel the urge to eat, I currently weigh 55kgs. I'm thinking of seeing a psychiatrist, but I find it too difficult to talk to them.

 

[CartmansKitty]

Thank you Herbavore!

I had the unwavering support of my partner - she stopped drinking the minute it became apparent that I had a problem. She still drinks on the odd occasion- the last being when we were married on 29th December -but before that she had not had a drink for around 2 years. I'm absolutely fine with this though, and I understand just because I'm 'allergic' to alcohol doesn't mean everyone else around me has to stop drinking. We still don't keep any alcohol in the house though - but, I am ok and not tempted (if someone buys my partner a bottle of wine as a present say) if we do. Before I gave up, any spare drink in the house would be drank from and then 'watered down' or quickly replaced before my partner noticed.

My best friend was there for me too - she rarely drinks anyway, but each time she comes to stay now (she lives 100 miles away) we go out and do other stuff besides going to the pub which would've been my previous favourite thing to do!

A lifestyle change is important though. In my drinking days, I thought I was unable to have fun without drink. Nowadays, I know that to be completely bogus. When I first gave up, I made sure I wasn't left alone doing any activities for the first few months that would result in my drinking. (E.g. I made sure my partner would accompany me to the shop because I didn't trust myself not to buy a quarter bottle of vodka and drink it quickly on the way back) I also stayed clear of pubs, clubs etc. Eventually though - the craving to drink leaves you, and you can go back to these places once more - sober.

For me, the repulsion I feel when I think about the things I did while drunk is enough to never make me want to go back there. I'm so pleased to say it was tough, but I am free from the evil clutches of alcohol, and I have my life back. Life was seriously messed up while I was drinking - I nearly lost everything. Life now is great, and I think I'm a better person now because of my battle with the drink. :D

 

[CartmansKitty]

4th day in a row now, I don't feel the urge to eat, I currently weigh 55kgs. I'm thinking of seeing a psychiatrist, but I find it too difficult to talk to them.

Hey PK. I've been there - I didn't eat while drinking, or indeed for weeks after giving up. I went down to weighing 7 1/2 stones at the age of 27 (47.63 Kgs according to google). I was filled with anxiety all the time, and I felt like my throat was closing in, making me scared that I would choke, which in turn made me feel sick. Is it that you feel sick when you eat? If so - would you be able to try a cup of soup or something light?

I went to counselling to address my issues, and I found it very daunting the idea of talking to a complete stranger about my life. I remember before my first session, I was waiting nervously wondering what I was going to say. Quite often though, those things are set by your pace - they don't force you to talk about anything you don't want to. Once I started talking about my issues though, I couldn't stop -I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

Good luck PK, and if you ever want to talk - feel free to PM me.

 

[phactor]

Ending a six month drinking relapse today... went to the ER to get checked out yesterday as I have had seizure before. Gave me a script for .5 ativans. It appears to be covering most of the symptoms but I cannot fucking sleep for a damn. Haven't slept well in about 5 days, I am not going to drink today.

Going to try to get into some outpatient and/or therapy.