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The Suicide Support Thread

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plmar said:
have none


and i've wasted 30 minutes trying to think of something else to add to this post
:)
"all is good"
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Well my advice is to take facebook comments with a grain of salt. Try to make some friends in real life if possible, as they will be much more understanding IME. :)

Feel free to PM me if you want to as well.
 
i over did it on my hydromorphone i did 320mg yesterday and 240mg today tomorrow is gonna suck but i'm not gonna take anymore tomorrow no matter how i feel
 
hthr007 said:
What's going to happen tomorrow that makes you want to kill yourself?
Click to expand...

It's going to arrive.



I am so sick of this.
Each day, I convince myself to make it through just one more day.
I think I can kill myself tomorrow, and I just continue that thought..
Well I am sick of it.

I do not want this.
 
I'm new here.
At first sorry for my bad english. I hope you understand it.
I'm 23 years old (m) and have no friends and not girlfriend (But as a kid i had many friends.), no work and had a accident few years ago. Since then i take Tilidine and from time to time kratom that helped me a little bit.
I take since 17 drugs. Not hard things like heroin.
But i think they destroyed my head.

I've always been a pessimist. Since my accident (I have severe back pain) I'm a really big pessimist. I hate most of humans because i thing they egoists.
Since a lost my last friend 7 years ago i was only at home and take drugs. I developed a social phobia (this is not such a big problem) and depression. I went to few psychiatrist who give me SSRI's and neuroleptic but that not worked. I hate psychiatrist.

It's hard to find good friends today. And if you abusing drugs and a pessimist and need big time to trust them it's harder.

I want live like other people but i can't. I have only bad thinks and thinks bad about humans.
And if i take drugs I'm not such a big pessimist and humans-hater.
I'm not a bad guy or so - if you know me and i trust you.
And i think I'm not ugly, I'm small for a man 170cm/ 66.93 inch

Damn I'm lonely. I'm only watching movies and TV, make sports alone and take drugs. That's all.
 
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i did 120 8mg hydromophone pills IVed in 3 days i was kinda hoping i'd OD but no such luck now i have withdrawals to deal with tomorrow
 
mr nobody said:
I'm new here.
At first sorry for my bad english. I hope you understand it.
I'm 23 years old (m) and have no friends and not girlfriend (But as a kid i had many friends.), no work and had a accident few years ago. Since then i take Tilidine and from time to time kratom that helped me a little bit.
I take since 17 drugs. Not hard things like heroin.
But i think they destroyed my head.

I've always been a pessimist. Since my accident (I have severe back pain) I'm a really big pessimist. I hate most of humans because i thing they egoists.
Since a lost my last friend 7 years ago i was only at home and take drugs. I developed a social phobia (this is not such a big problem) and depression. I went to few psychiatrist who give me SSRI's and neuroleptic but that not worked. I hate psychiatrist.

It's hard to find good friends today. And if you abusing drugs and a pessimist and need big time to trust them it's harder.

I want live like other people but i can't. I have only bad thinks and thinks bad about humans.
And if i take drugs I'm not such a big pessimist and humans-hater.
I'm not a bad guy or so - if you know me and i trust you.
And i think I'm not ugly, I'm small for a man 170cm/ 66.93 inch

Damn I'm lonely. I'm only watching movies and TV, make sports alone and take drugs. That's all.
Click to expand...

I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through such a tough time. I can relate to many things that you said in your post.

I know how awful it is to deal with chronic pain every day. I have a small group of friends and a job, but I often find that I'm very lonely. I have social anxiety and I find it very hard to communicate with people because of my disorder.

However, I've found some serenity and peace for the times that I am alone. What is it that you like to do? Do you like nature, hiking, swimming, art, music, writing, etc? Those are many solo activities that can make you feel not so lonely. When I'm alone or want to be alone I go down on the beach - even in the winter. The cold air is exhilarating, the scenery is beautiful. In the summer I can even stick my toes in the water :)

I just want you to know you're not alone. We're a great supportive family here <3 Welcome to Bluelight.

mrflowers00 said:
i did 120 8mg hydromophone pills IVed in 3 days i was kinda hoping i'd OD but no such luck now i have withdrawals to deal with tomorrow
Click to expand...

I'm happy you didn't OD. I would miss you.

I'm sorry that you have to deal with withdrawal tomorrow - I hope you're able to make yourself somewhat comfortable while going through them.
 
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For the first time in a long time I feel entirely grateful to be alive. I feel very humbled to still be here.

Much peace and <3 to everyone going through a rough time.
 
I've been getting thoughts of suicide more often lately. Sometimes with increasing frequency and urgency. The urge to leave this life is back, because I can't stand other people. I don't like the effect they have on me. I wish I could be like a computer and shut off my emotions permanently. I'm content and stable when my emotions are far away from me. They've been absent for the majority of the time for the past 2 or 3 years but now they're coming upon me more and more frequently. These emotions are only of the frustrating and ambiguous kind. I'm an agnostic but I want to believe in reincarnation, that there will be another chance to do things differently in a new life, to develop myself differently in that new life. I don't expect anything from this life anymore, I don't want anything anymore, not the way that I've become. There's no point. I probably won't kill myself anytime soon but it's an option that's always there. Sure, most times I feel okay, normal and not upset over anything. I'm the most laid back person there is. That's probably due to suppressing almost every emotion I have to deal with, and that's fine with me. I'm more stable now suppressing emotions than I ever was when I used to give importance to emotions and expressing them.
Each year that passes I become more distant from being able to trust and connect with other people. I become a better actor, a better bullshitter. I don't know if there's anything except bullshit left in me anymore, I can't differentiate the genuine stuff from the bullshit. Whatever... I can't stand pity or sympathy from others. I needed to vent/ramble.
 
I need to stop looking up shit I saw. he commented "the unspeakable things id do to place my face in her knockers" on a forum he posts in. Normally I'd laugh at that but it's fucking HIM, 4.5 years. I guess I'm not fucking good enough for anyone.

I'm fucking shaking & sobbing m eyes out right now. Why the fuck did I look? Why do I have to look up everything and find out everything.

I've fucking had it. Everything is catching up to me and I'm sick of the depression and anxiety.

I have 90 50mg amitriptyline (elavil), 28 37.5mg effexor (which I just started to "help" with depression and anxiety) and a fuck ton of benzos and morphine pills.

Fuck this shit I'm taking it all. Every last fucking pill. I'm done.
 
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Aww hun, from the pics you've posted you are a very pretty girl, so please don't compare yourself to your ex's girl.. 4 and a half years is a long time, but mayb you should cut yourself off from him. You are good enough and it's his loss. Chin up pretty girl.
 
Thanks sconnie....but I just took 300mg amitriptyline and 6mg Xanax. I'm fucking done with everything....
 
hthr007 said:
I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through such a tough time. I can relate to many things that you said in your post.

I know how awful it is to deal with chronic pain every day. I have a small group of friends and a job, but I often find that I'm very lonely. I have social anxiety and I find it very hard to communicate with people because of my disorder.

However, I've found some serenity and peace for the times that I am alone. What is it that you like to do? Do you like nature, hiking, swimming, art, music, writing, etc? Those are many solo activities that can make you feel not so lonely. When I'm alone or want to be alone I go down on the beach - even in the winter. The cold air is exhilarating, the scenery is beautiful. In the summer I can even stick my toes in the water :)

I just want you to know you're not alone. We're a great supportive family here <3 Welcome to Bluelight.
Click to expand...
Hey thanks for your answer and good words.
It helped a little bit.
I like swimming but alone it's boring.

I hope 300mg amitriptyline and 6mg Xanax it's not an overdose.
 
hthr007 said:
Thanks sconnie....but I just took 300mg amitriptyline and 6mg Xanax. I'm fucking done with everything....
Click to expand...

Just know I'm here for ya hun , if u want to vent. I know what you're going through. if it were me I'd be pretty inconsolable..
I hope you feel better soon :(
 
Someone please tell me what the point of going on is :(
 
so i've been in withdrawals all day but i got 12 dilaudids from my dad half an hour ago and i'm feeling better but i have to see my doctor tuesday and have to have oxycodone in my system so i can only do bupe for two days
 
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