Embarassing sex stories...

ok yea, its all about qweefing!! i have this thing that i dont fart in front of ppl, even my bf, so when he heard me qweef (of course it had to be extremely LOUD!) he started cracking up and kept making fun!!
also, getting caught is quite embarrassing. 1st by my parents...then last week down by the river (we were outside, he was behind me and i was all bent over and moaning and some dude walks by!!)...then tonight actually! -we parked behind some shed type thing that was beside a big field...we thought it was pretty secluded...until the cop drives by shining his spotlight on us!! i was straddling him n the drivers seat with my pants off, so i jumped over and we took off with a quickness!!
 
this stuff is gold - anyway my own little story holds a special place near my heart. Me and the ex are having fun in her bedroom - parents are home but the door is closed and they know to knock...however there is a knock on the door - dad says "dinner's ready" - ex g/f - "yeah i'm coming" and the dad laughs and says "no no, didn't you hear me - i said dinner is ready" - and walks off laughing his head off. Great family dinner it was too.
 
well we're both naked and im getting sucked off by a fine blonde on her sofa, im facing her room door.
i close my eyes in (and on!) ecstasy and open them to find her flatmate has walked in, skimpily dressed cos its early morning- looking for a CD!
not really embaressing for me, in fact it was more of a turn on!! :)
 
A while ago, my boyfriend at the time was telling me about an embarrassing moment he had with his ex girlfriend. They were getting down and dirty and in the middle of all the action he let one rip, loud.
So of course the same night he told me the story, the same thing happened again...but to me. I guess there's nothing like easing someone elses bad moments by recreating them yourself.
 
Ok, so I can't compete with a lot of these, but I'll try.
First time I have sex with my ex, we were both home on break and he was living at home with his very cool mom and dad who had no problems with me (the girl he had been dating for like 2 weeks) sleeping over engaging in loud sexual activiy in the next room (weirded me out). So yeah, we go to have sex and I knew that I was like a day away from gettng my period so we skipped the condom and just went for it.
8 and a half pumps later... just kidding, the boy held out for nearly five minutes... umm yeah, I jump up to go to the loo and I realize, "hey, I got my period" I walk back to his room and he is standing, staring at his bed scratching his head, and there is a pie-plate sized pool of blood right smack in the middle. He looks at me and hes like "I think you got your period" Now, I'm halfway between running out of the house in humiliation and fainting from the sight of my blood, but suprisingly he was very cool about it, he ripped the sheet off the bed and threw it in the hamper for his mom to wash (I don't think so!) and we made the bed together and slept happily that night.... awww happy ending
 
^^^^ something similar happened to me last week
boyfriend's parents are out of town -- perfect opportunity for some full out, loud, multi-position love-making. we start doing it on his parents chair, and then we're like wait, let's do something different since we can take the opportunity of having a house over a backseat for once. (dont' get me wrong, i LOVE the backseat)
so i get *off* and he looks at me and he's like uh, babe uh..... so i look and there is blood all over his member. mortifying, let me tell you. and i was like baby i'm so sorry, i had no idea ( i blame this on the shot) but i figured maybe something got "torn" up there because i had no clue i had started my period and i didn't feel it. so i just told him that it wasn't that, something must have just gotten triggered. so that was that.
we went to "wash up" and he comes back and he's like "i don't think we triggered anything, it was already there because it was on my fingers"
that was so friggin embarrassing.
sorry for the graphic details.
~
me
 
this is embarrising for her an accomplishment for me:
about 5 years ago when i was 17 i banged some chick that was pretty much a slob so it took about 2 hours from the time i met her...me and my friends had this point game where kissin a girl is 1, feeling her up is 5 etc etc i went for the 500 point bonus...after i had sex with her i stood over her put one foot on her stomach, started beating my chest, yelling "score" so i tell everyone, no one believes me so the next nite i did it again while they recorded it....she even called the next day.....
 
Years ago my ex-roomy and I had been parting at in a motel. One of those all weekend, cheap motel, beer and cocaine parties. She had brought her boyfriend and his cousin. The cousin and I hit it off right away but didn't have any privacy to do much about the growing sexual energy between us. The next morning we decided to take a shower together thus allowing some privacy to relieve ourselves. We agreed I would give the cue by saying "I'm going to take a shower" he would wait a couple minutes and then casually walk in the bathroom and go from there. Well I gave the cue to take a shower but once in the bathroom realized the previous night of drinking beer and doing lines had caught up with me and I really needed to take a shit. Thinking I would have a few minutes before he joined me I turned the shower on and then sat down to do my business. The toilet in the bathroom was right next to the door of course. I guess he couldn't wait because before I was finished he came walking in, saw me sitting there and realized what I was doing, said "oh sorry" and left. I was sooo embarrassed! I guess it didn't bother him too much because he did end up joining me in the shower that morning. When we got out of the shower we joined my roomy and her bf and noticed a dirty tampon lying beside their bed. The guy I was with pointed it out and started laughing hysterically. I think she was more embarrassed that I was! Anyway, this guy and I ended up seeing quite a bit of each other after that and any time I acted shy around him he reminded me of the time he walked in on me taking a shit. It actually really helped me feel comfortable around him. As if the worst had already happened.
 
This was embarrassing to me, funny to others. I was a senior in high school, and liked this girl, S, in my physics class, I was trying to pull off the act of innocent, nice guy. a friend of mines parents were out of town so I was staying there for the weekend. My friend goes to a party, and I know he won't be back for many hours, probably not tonight. I hook up with this other girl, T, and take her back to his house. She and I are on the floor in the living room going at it, when the front door opens, and about 20 people walk in. Apparently the party my friend was at was busted, so he brought everyone back to his house. I wouldn't have been too embarrassed, except that the girl I liked (S) was in the crowd, and saw me on the floor with (T). I never did hook up with (S).
Edited to protect the innocent
[ 12 August 2002: Message edited by: CBRworm ]
 
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Most embarassing thing happened 11 years ago. It was about 2am. I had bedroom light on inside. I found out too late that even with the bedroom blinds pulled all the way down, without curtains in the apartment, if it is dark out and the light is on inside AND someone stands with his hands cupped to the little tiny section that holds the blinds together,(the string that holds the blinds together and the little holes that allow for binding) you can pretty much see what's going on. I had been horny one night and was masturbating with a dildo a long time. I became aware of this tapping noise. I stopped. Then the noise stopped.

It started up again 15 minutes later. This time I knew someone was definately at my bedroom window. I put a robe on, and peeked out the blinds. This guy was standing there asking me to let him in cause some guys were threatening to kick his ass.
I called the cops and while I waited for them to show up, he knocked again. This time he said "Let me in. I want a woman to please me." He then proceeded to go around the entire apartment trying to get in any windows, or doors, but they were locked.

I called the cops back and told them what he said. I asked them to please come immediately. They caught him as he was climbing the wall of my small backyard and arrested him. I had to identify him through the window. They asked me if I wanted him arrested and I said yes. I heard him asking the cops, "What's going on?," to which a lady cop said, "I don't know, but I think your under arrest." Shortly after that he was taken to the gray bar, but that was pretty bad. Fuck knowing he saw everything...oh well. I complained to the apartment manager and she had curtains put on my windows after that.
 
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Originally posted by TJ:
Most embarassing thing happened 11 years ago. It was about 2am...
Jesus! That's not embarrassing that's downright SCARY!!!!
THank goodness you're ok.
-physix
 
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Well last night a girl that I have started to see recently and I were in my truck and it started to get hot and heavy so I said/suggested that we get it on in the truck ( I have a Quad cab turck, so it would not be that hard to do something in there) anyway she agrees and says for me to pull into the driveway ( we could not go in inside her house because her cousin and kids were in there, and she has no bedroom) so we get it on, and after we are done I look to my left and I see her neighbor sitting on his porch looking at my truck, well I do have tinited windows the only thing is that she left her shirt on and it was a white shirt at that, so I can imagine that he saw something white moving up and down and front to back, all while my truck is rocking, and her moaning. So we leave to go get something to drink and come back 2-3 minutes later and the fucker is still sitting on his porch (I do not know about you, but if I see my neighbor is fucking/getting fucked I do not want to see it) But it is his yard, and we were outside so hey what are you going to do right? I drop her off and I left. Another thing is I know my girl didn't know that her neighbor had been watching us. And I intend to keep it that way. ;)
 
^ It's should be understood that the courteous thing to do when noticing other people having sex is not to gawk and stare forever, but get a quick look then bail.
 
Originally posted by PsychoKitten:
This from a few months ago would have embarrassed the hell out of most ppl. It turned me on something fierce tho.
I'm out for drink with my then partner. We end up at one of my fave places - this really cosy bar with old fashioned booths. So we're sitting there n playing footsie and I decide to umm "slip under the table".
So I'm under there, with my mouth busy and his friends walk into the place, spot him and come over to sit down. Note: I am still under the table. They stayed for ages, while I played him like a bloody violin. They stayed so long that in the end I had no choice but to finish him off and pop up back into my seat.
Classy huh, you should have seen the faces on those guys. Figuing i was in for it, i decided to make the most of it and I looked each one in the eye as i wiped my bottom lip with my finger, licked it clean then calmly replaced my lipstick.
marry me.
most embarassing, huh? i'll make it short and simple.
'96, yankee stadium, blow job, big screen.
[ 09 August 2002: Message edited by: DjIgnite ]
 
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This didn't happen to me personally, however one night when I was out with friends, this guy told me this story. OMG I coulnd't believe it. I thought it was funnier than fuck. I know I'd have been 50 shades of red had it been me instead of him.

The Slave

One night Danny, TJ's roommate brought home this 21 y/o black woman that happened to be a dominatrix. Neither TJ or Crystal (TJ's name for alter ego on speed) had never actually met one before. She couldn't remember exactly when these events occured, but it was in 1997 between the months of Jan and June.
In those days at that time, she was happy cause she did what she loved doing best. Snorting speed, mixing speed into a soda and drinking it, or putting speed in empty capsules to carry with her with the straw and the mirror were just not practical.

Psychologically, she enjoyed the line more because unlike with a pill or soda, she could see how much she was doing and feel like she actually consumed it, having seen it slowly disappear up her nose. Of course, TJ loved Crystal and enjoyed her company in a variety of ways.

It was during this time period that she had worked solely as an exotic dancer. Crystal was great at dancing and always alot of fun to take to parties. She was also very sociable, and as it was most of the time, TJ and Crystal were having a great time.
Although they had great fun when it was just the two of them, neither of them minded meeting new individuals and the company of others. Unbeknownst to most people or strangers back then, the person they were introduced to as TJ, had no way of knowing they were really chatting with Crystal Hyde. They were one and the same, similar, yet very different and took turns seeing the world, as opposed to one or the other remaining dormat in the closet.

85% of the time, Crystal was the one lurking about, going about life sharing one body, but different minds. The other 15% of the time TJ would perhaps come join the world and have her turn in their shared life on the outside.

Although Crystal during those times of 1997 would be the one to dominate the show, TJ didn't mind kicking it in the closet while simultaneously tripping on her partner and soul sister in crime, the funny, most off the wall, and outgoing Crystal Hyde.
The night Danny brought home his friend Sandy, Crystal/TJ became quite fascinated when Sandy told her she had an actual dungeon at her home. She worked for herself, making money from her clients by being a Dom. Of course when Sandy invited TJ to go to her house the next night so she could see her home and her dungeon, she jumped at the chance.

Sandy told TJ to be there at 5:00pm. Crystal came instead 5:00pm TST. Tweeker Standard Time which translated that night to 8:00pm PST. Hearing comments and/questions pertaining to the fact she was a bit late, were like more common than not. Crystal would always give some off the wall explanation, and the entertainment value depended entirely upon the mood/trip she happened to be riding at the moment.

No one ever knew with Crystal, but she could always be counted on to be amuzing, bizarre, and happy, if nothing else. When she finally arrived at Sandy's TST, she was introduced to her boyfriend a white man that had remarked many times that he wanted some chocolate that night. Sitting across from him was a very handsome man, probably in his early 40's. He was tall, had a tone/muscular build, a full head of silvery/black hair dressed in a suit. He was kicking back, socializing, and drinking a beer.

It was an added form of pleasure when Sandy introduced the gentleman as her slave. He said after their weekly session he wanted permission from his Mistress to take us all to Bennihanna. So after Sandy gave Crystal a tour of the dungeoun, TJ saw and heard everything and listened as Crystal asked all sorts of questions and was shown some exotic equipment used for recreation and entertainment favored by the dom/slave and S&M culture.

There was a sort of cage especially suited to those adult baby slaves or that would benefit a great deal from being in a cage. Then there was a cross shaped device used for standing a slave up and strapping them securely down and of course a varity of floggs, chastity belts, handcuffs, nipple clamps, chains, collar and leash, and some sort of torture device that looked alot like the iron maiden, built not to kill, only to cause exquisite pain.
Sandy explained that the Dom/Slave thing was 90% mental trip and the other 10% actual hands on type deal. Going back out to the room to rejoin the slave and Sandy's boyfriend, Crystal loved to tell about the joys of her job as an exotic dancer. Sandy had said she thought being a Dom was easier, as one didn't have to fiddle around with removing the many layers of garments, undergarments and putting them on, changing in the right fashion.

Of course Crystal loved it. She loved dancing. She loved music, and she loved stripping cause she was performing. There was nothing more she loved than being on stage. When one of them asked if she minded doing a show for them, Crystal of course was delighted. She had brought with her, the special mix of music suited to whatever role she wanted to play. And role play she did right there in the living room as Sandy and the slave took photos at her request.

After all the energic, fun, wild dancing, she switched to a "fuck me come hither sort of role" and stripped to sexy soul and rhythm and blues. When she was finished, she was decorated with frilly lace on her arms, legs, stomach, groin, but her breasts and exposed firm cheecks could be viewed surrounded or peeking out of necklace beads and lace. The feather was the final touch.
At the end of the show she let the feather run over every crevice of her body and exposing her pose sitting with legs wide opened, but crotch covered by see through frail type material resembling a face through a veil. Partially seen/partially hidden. Taking some water and letting it fall off those small, perky tits that were great for taking shots of anything running right from the tit to the mouth, her show ended.

The slave stood up, giving a standing ovation, then the other 2 followed suit. Standing there and changing from her teddy and lace into her evening dress right in front of everyone so her attire was acceptable for the restaurante, TJ listened intently as the slave was so taken he said,"That was beautiful, sensual, and hot! Damn you got me horny and now my cock hurts!,"
Then he said that he was wearing a metal chastity belt his Mistress had ordered him to wear that very moment. "Really?" asked Crystal. "And," the slave went on to explain only his Mistress had the key. Of course, it was exquisitely painful he said any and every time he got hard. "Here would you like to see?" asked the slave. Crystal answered in the affirmative. "Well I'll be damned," said Crystal. There was no getting out of that contraption alright. There had been a small screen allowing for the passage of urine.

This was so fascinating and funny that she forgot to ask what happened if he needed to do #2. There were 2 other little bits of amuzing information he passed on. He said that his wife became most irritated by it because that meant no sex for a week. "Your're married?," Crystal asked even more amuzed. "Married with 2 kids and my wife knows all about my weekly sessions with my Mistress," he said. This story kept getting better and better.

On the way over to Bennihanna, Crystal rode with the slave in his car and Sandy and her bf in theirs. He indicated that he wore that chastiy belt quite often and he loved it. He loved everything about being a slave. He looked like a CEO or executive. She found it amuzing wondering what his high powered collegues would have to say or think if they knew of their boss/collegues submissive proclivities. The last bit of his most delightful tale was the best though.

One night he had had one or two too many beers and of course the cops pulled him over. Actually he wasn't rip roaring drunk, but enough to be escorted and cuffed to remain an overnight guest of The Gray Bar. He was booked, fingerprinted, questioned, the whole nine yards. His real entertainment began when the cops found out he was wearing a gift from his Mistress.

Of course they asked him all kinds of questions. Cops have very inquiring minds. But the mental picture she got when the cops first became aware he was wearing a chastiy belt, then the looks on their faces when he told them the chastity belt belonged to his Mistress was worth money.

Her favorite part was when they demanded that he take it off. Of course he told them he couldn't because only his Mistress had the key. Then they tried to get it off themselves repeatedly and they couldn't. So finally his Mistress recieved a phone call from his hosts at The Gray Bar informing her that they had one of her slaves in custody and they would very much appreciate her cooperation in producing the key, as chastiy belts were not acceptable attire and insisted all guests refrain from wearing them.

They would be locked away in a special safe and returned to him at the end of his stay. Since they put it like that, how could she find it in her heart to refuse? "That was most embarrassing indeed," said the slave. "I guess so," said Crystal laughing and enjoying the fuck out of his tale. Once at the restaurante, Crystal sipped on a coke as the others ate dinner. Had her alter ego/soul sister TJ been present that night instead of merely observing, a coke is still all she would have consumed.

Both Crystal and TJ hated sea food anyway, which is what Crystal had said. At least it was cheaper for the slave. After the restaurante, the slave deposited Crystal in front of her car. Both Crystal and the slave bid Sandy and her bf goodnight. "Goodnight Mistress," he said. "See you next week." "It's definately been a very enjoyable evening," said Crystal to the slave. "You try to be a good boy now and maybe your Mistress won't find it necessary to enforce this discipline," she said to the slave. He only grinned, and like all true slaves, indicated that he would not be a good boy. Some things never change.
 
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Originally posted by TJ:
Most embarassing thing happened 11 years ago. It was about 2am. I had bedroom light on inside. I found out too late that even with the bedroom blinds pulled all the way down, without curtains in the apartment, if it is dark out and the light is on inside AND someone stands with his hands cupped to the little tiny section that holds the blinds together,(the string that holds the blinds together and the little holes that allow for binding) you can pretty much see what's going on. I had been horny one night and was masturbating with a dildo a long time. I became aware of this tapping noise. I stopped. Then the noise stopped.
It started up again 15 minutes later. This time I knew someone was definately at my bedroom window. I put a robe on, and peeked out the blinds. This guy was standing there asking me to let him in cause some guys were threatening to kick his ass.
I called the cops and while I waited for them to show up, he knocked again. This time he said "Let me in. I want a woman to please me." He then proceeded to go around the entire apartment trying to get in any windows, or doors, but they were locked.
I called the cops back and told them what he said. I asked them to please come immediately. They caught him as he was climbing the wall of my small backyard and arrested him. I had to identify him through the window. They asked me if I wanted him arrested and I said yes. I heard him asking the cops, "What's going on?," to which a lady cop said, "I don't know, but I think your under arrest." Shortly after that he was taken to the gray bar, but that was pretty bad. Fuck knowing he saw everything...oh well. I complained to the apartment manager and she had curtains put on my windows after that.
Shouldnt this be in the erotic stories thread?
 
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