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Say something you can't say to their face

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alasdairm said:
probably. this seems like something you would want the person to hear - why not say it?

i think that when i read a lot of these comments...

alasdair
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Some things we need to say and get out for our own sake, because we need to get it out rather than because we want the person in question to hear it. Theres a lot that I've needed to get out over the past few months, but if i actually said it to the person that's the subject I'd basically be throwing away a very long term friendship because i let my emotions temporarily get the better of my judgement, but if i didn't get it out it would continue to eat at me.
 
I think it's time to let you go now. I can't be around you and listen to everything you think out loud. See you like that day in, day out. You don't have the guts or the will to look in the mirror and even when you do you are always pointing your fingers to someone else. You've never been responsible or kind enough to think of others rather than yourself. Stop while I still have forces not to let you go, because if I do I fear I won't be able to be who I was, or who I'm trying to be now. So think hard before coming to me like that when you know it's all about you. Listen to your son for Christ's sake! Enough is enough.
 
i love you, i love being around you, but when you are gone i also feel content and happy. i want us to join together in a partnership because i recognise that you care about my wellbeing and want to care for me even if its one of my blind spots. i want to do that for you as well, help to show you the bits of yourself you are blind to or are unwilling to acknowledge. i also believe we can move mountains together, i don't need you in my life to be happy, but i want us to be together. where are you? i miss you. tell me, i'll come.
 
I never imagined you would come back into my life out of nowhere and create something special you want to share with me. I'm nervous about seeing you tonight, but I'm also excited! Can't wait to see you and your new apartment. Eventually, we'll do naughty things all over the place. This should be fun.
 
Despite of being totally free today, I can't say I wasn't busy. At least I was doing things I like for a change.
 
This has been the best week of the entire year so far! Finally being with you has been pure ecstasy.
 
If you hid that other person from me, there's no telling what else you're hiding from me. You're incredible in bed and I know you want me again too, but you will be waiting quite a while..IF I ever let you sleep with me again!

Can't trust you right now.

^Actually I did say that and more to his face, including yelling. Mischevious cunt.
 
Fuck, I hate you. I hate you. I hate that I still love you. How can I trust you again? What we have is special, but now I know you're a liar.
 
I can't believe you'll be away for a week. People will party at your place all week long.
 
^ Some relationships are difficult and toxic and when we rarely get so furious and say the right things, we usually hear the best compliments in return -totally unexpected - sometimes with all sort of treats. The point is to anull our arguments a make it easier to start it all over again. It happens in so many relationships and it makes it difficult to end.
 
Erikmen said:
^ Some relationships are difficult and toxic and when we rarely get so furious and say the right things, we usually hear the best compliments in return -totally unexpected - sometimes with all sort of treats. The point is to anull our arguments a make it easier to start it all over again. It happens in so many relationships and it makes it difficult to end.
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Wow. Guess I should tread lightly. He's forgiven now, but I still don't feel I can truly trust him.
 
^ Sorry to have jumped in like that. This is in fact a problem that I have sometimes about my marriage in general. When I see that we are not doing well, and notice I'm getting hurt I start to be quiet and often distant myself a little. Except that, just when I'm about to change everything, say give it a break for instance - she starts to apologize, she even surprises me with important issues I may have not realized. It's not that I don't want do forgive her, I do. I actually did too.

But, for a minute I feel like I was wrong about my emotions and things weren't really as bad as I had thought they were. Thank God I realize I wasn't crazy when it happens again. I guess, it's about knowing your partner better and how our most beloved ones can be manipulative at times. I hate games, I like honesty and transparency.
 
Your input is always appreciated! You're definitely not crazy for feeling the way you do. People can be really confusing...
As long as she's not hurting you on purpose...
I hate games too!! You sound incredibly understanding and reasonable. Your wife is lucky. If I ever feel like my b/f is making me "crazy" about my emotions, I will confront him with those feelings. Hopefully that won't be necessary.

This relationship has a lot of potential so it was worth forgiveness. He's apologized a trillion times and I even told him to drop it. Let's put it behind us. It was an old friend he needed to cut ties with. Her motive was to break us up because she was scorn and still wants him. Glad I didn't let her tear me away from a good man.
 
alasdairm said:
probably. this seems like something you would want the person to hear - why not say it?

i think that when i read a lot of these comments...

alasdair
Click to expand...

I cant say "you ruined my life and I want to smash you over the head with a shovel" as person is far away. And I would punch him at least.
 
CoastTwoCoast said:
Your input is always appreciated! You're definitely not crazy for feeling the way you do. People can be really confusing...
As long as she's not hurting you on purpose...
I hate games too!! You sound incredibly understanding and reasonable. Your wife is lucky. If I ever feel like my b/f is making me "crazy" about my emotions, I will confront him with those feelings. Hopefully that won't be necessary.

This relationship has a lot of potential so it was worth forgiveness. He's apologized a trillion times and I even told him to drop it. Let's put it behind us. It was an old friend he needed to cut ties with. Her motive was to break us up because she was scorn and still wants him. Glad I didn't let her tear me away from a good man.
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Indeed CTC, forgiveness is worthy, and it makes us feel better too.

Thanks for your comments. Things are fine now, it feels like I want to feel ready if one day things come to an end.
 
I am pretty disappointed in you to be honest. I had hoped that you had some kind of care factor for me as a mate but the way you have spoken to me particularly where other people have been an audience has really hurt and I dont think you valued me at all and do not deserve my friendship but thats ok because clearly it meant nothing to you anyway.


Ill always consider you as a friend but will just not go above and beyond for you and spend more energy on people who actually do value me .
 
^ As someone who's been stabbed in the back quite hard by their respective friends this week, trust me they're not worth the oxygen. Some people are pally with you until you're in a group with them, and then you're an easy punching bad to look good to others. Someone who acts like that is too immature to be worth an adult friendship, or are so incredibly insecure that they feel the need to poke at someone to share a joined bully session, which is pathetic.

Take care of number one, and don't do things for someone not willing to do the same for you. I'm sure you've got a lot of friends more worth your time (y)
 
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