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Say something you can't say to their face

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This is it. I'm doing this.

You can keep drinking yourself to death and being an abusive piece of crap.

I'm quitting opiates despite the serve fucking physical pain that doesn't let me sleep. But hey, it's going to not matter anyway due to your drunken LOUD AS FUCK SNORING that literally doesn't allow me sleep. for more than half an hour at once, so that isn't going to stop me from quitting even.

You can, as usual, try to sabotage me all you wish, but this time it's not happening. I'm so done. I just need to get away from this marriage veggie you literally kill me or harm me severely. Steady have some permanent damage but nothing I can't live through.

Thanks for teaching me a lot. I mean that. It was hell, but my eyes are even more open than they were before. You can learn and extract good from every and anything. The price may be high, even not worth the suffering, but if you're already suffering and struggling, might as well gain some wisdom and apply it .

You're a rapist, a physical and emotional and verbal and mental abuser, you gaslight incessantly, you resort to stupid tactics of (failed) diversion or flipping blame when called on your crazy making bull shit, you ate a dead beat father to your girl in another state, you say awful things about that innocent child who is actually better of without you which says something, you are living in a false world where you are never wrong, you are superior, and entitled and its revolting, etc. That's just the beginning.

I'm sorry you learned these tactics from your horribly narcissistic and manipulative mother. I'm sorry you were criticized to no end for nothing, called inherently bad, etc. However, I've been through just as much if not more hell of that and other natures as well, and I strive to be kind

Younger, yes, I made mistakes I deeply regret. But that was precisely what I used to motivate me to evolve part the patterns I was taught. I didn't act like a coward who became a hypocrite by continuing the pattern

Maybe acknowledge more deeply and for more than a nanosecond at a time the effects your upbringing had on you, no need to be angry about our, they were like raised in hell too. That's how this generational shit keeps on going

But you are almost ,40. Grow up, and stop being the worst coward, the most selfish hateful Bastsrd I've ever known.

My compassion will always exist. But I'm not willing to die for you, over shit you can and choose not to face with courage, all while draining the shit out of me, while I battle my body and heath which by itself is draining

I don't use it as ash excise and push myself more than most healthy people I know. I pay dearly for it.

But I'm not going to just give up hope. Not going to be bitter and demand that you cater to me.

You don't even realize how much of a keeper I am, and that's your loss .

It really is

For the record I don't oust myself on the back in real life this way , out Lloyds, or even really in my mind except rarely and even then I'm modest.

I'm just pushed to my limit and ask more angry and fed up than afraid anymore.

And I'm going to thrive, not just survive.

To anyone reading this in a similar situation....YOU ABSOLUTELY DESERVE BETTER. Heath problems may slow your escape down, but you will get there if you keep going. One step at a time.

You are capable of more than you think. And the fear of the unknown even things like money while being severely physically ill, has got to be less stressful than abuse.

Love yourselves

My love to you guys.

Peace.
 
Sitting here wide awake listening to your fucking insanely, unbelievably loud drunken snoring and wondering how upset God could possibly be at me for just grabbing a pillow and.....

You are fucking revolting. In every way, on every level. A violent coward. A fragile bitch. Fuck you,yyou absolute sack of violent, rapist, dead beat dad (tnot my child) piece of garbage.

Karma is going to kick your fucking ass when I'm gone. You deserve every bit of it you COWARD. Your tough act....ugh, you're just a fucking moron. An absolute irrational idiot. That's why you had ty present an act, a lie, to get me. Idgaf what changed in you! and why between twenty years ago and when we met bask up and idc. Nothing justifies your adviser and cowardice.

Go fuck yourself. I can't get away soon enough you lying sack of crap.

Go fuck yourself....

And please don't ever get involved with anyone again. You aren't safe. Spare them. Just be alone, and ruin your own life. You don't have the right to treat anyone thus way . Except yourself. You do owe yourself some fucking hell, which you'll put yourself through due to how FUCKING STUPID YOU ARE. I can't remember the last time I actually wished that on someone. Honestly not even due I ever have. You..... Yeah, enjoy it, you whiskey dicked prick. Thank god too because you're so bad in bed when you aren't being a rapist that you just repulseme more if that's even possible. Keep jerking off. You're the only one who wants to touch you after fucking getting to know the real you.

Enjoy your self created hell, you worm . No words for how pathetic you are.

I despise you. Occasionally pity you. But that's only because I'm nice. Truly, you don't deserve it. Only karma.

Fuck off . It makes me glad you're So threatened by every success I have you coward. It's not all about you stupid. Nothing to do with you. But whatever. Feel slighted by my humble successes. What a joke. What a child.

Drop dead.
 
^ Wow. Be done with that toxic cunt for good!
You have a really big heart and those evil people try to drain any goodness and life out of you.

I was trying to rebuild something with someone, but he is miserable and not trying to change his ways. Anytime I talk about trying something that will make me think more positive, whether it be believing in the universe or God, he puts it down. I don't have time for people who are not going to lift me up and inspire me. He never feels like talking on the phone and he's always angry, annoyed and in a bad mood. So done with him. Happy I'm still celibate and I will guard myself from these potentially dangerous creeps. There are plenty out there who want to keep you down right with them.

Focus on taking care of yourself and move on!
 
^^ Thank you for the kind words., and amen to the rest, baby! I'm so happy to hear you're kicking your idiot to the curb. There absolutely ARE good men, god people, out there. And I will never allow myself to be in a position again, no matter how poor my heath is, that I can't immediately escape if need be.

One step at a time! I will get to where I'm going, which is anywhere he isn't!

It was hard to re-read that, what I wrote.MMan. I NEVER am that.....just hateful. But sometimes when you're an empathetic person, out cab take a bit longer to get as angry as you need to to say oh fuck this shit. Not that I wouldn't have left within the first few months hadmyhealth not been this obstacle....iwI would have and wanted to. I realized my mistake before it even got as crazy ad it has.

But it's all good. Boy did I learn a lot. I'malreadydecent set psychology but this was quite a study lol. Looking so forward to not only getting out, but then,in turn, rreaching out to others who perhaps aren't seeing ad clearly as iI aand helping them ffind their courage. IIt's all about giving. And tthat prospect does excite me :)

Day one of withdrawal! He's home all weekend and is drunk, will try to sabotage me through implied violence etc. Not. Happening. This. Time.

This is my ticket out. Off this I can focusonother things. T pain will be severe and slow me down physically but mentally iwI will now move into warp speed lol.

I got this and so do you! Fuck a fake ass partner. I'm ready to be alone, for a period of time to recenter, and then funda good hhuman being.

On that note the love of my life killed themself and now that's not gonna ever happen. Heartbreaking. But I will honor them in my life daily. There with me. I feel them.....my dog growls at them lol. Serious! :)

Life, huh? Shit!

Take excellent care of yourself hon. You're deserving of the best. TheBEST! xo
 
You deserve the best too! Being alone will feel empowering. That time alone will allow you to make better decisions whenever you decide to date again.

I'm very sorry to hear about what happened to the love of your life.

I don't blame you for being angry. Sounds like you're using that anger as motivation to change your situation. Very proud of you! ?
 
I can't say it to your face but I can and have said it to your soul many times. It just never feels like enough. I need something tangible, that I can physically touch. .

But I love you and miss you and I'm so fucking sorry about all of our thisclose calls where we could have gotten back in touch.

When I started thinking of you incessantly and looked you up only to find you'd killed yourself, over love and depression, a mere fucking three months earlier... What the fuck.

Imagine realizing that all along, this person was for you and vice versa at the sane time you realize they're dead.

No. This isn't some mourning shit. Ask me in twenty years. I promise you I will say the same.

We should have been together. We were easy together. Compatible. Not over ideation as sure I'm due we would've had our struggles.

But compared to where I'm at now.....

My God its so absurd.

I kept thinking no no no wait just let me talk to him, it will be fine, I can fix this!!!!

Down the road I know I can't. Knew I couldn't. But it hadn't hit me.

I know you tapped me gently on the shoulder to tell me. I wish, all those years ago, before life pulled us literally far apart, I would've told you how incredible you were.

You never stopped looking for me I found out. What the fuck, life.

Sigh. I can't sigh enough.

Can't cry enough. Can't fix this.

Next time, baby.
Xoxo

And I miss your smile. That was always what I thought about when thinking of you.
 
Stop fucking snoring constantly like you are leveling a forest with eight hundred chainsaws at once before i shove a pillow on your face until you stop thrashing.

Holy. Fucking. Shit. You drunk narcissistic pussy.
 
Just give me a coupla days time to myself and dont ask any questions coz Im cracked out and just want to not be hassled by anyone.
 
After a decade plus together, you don't even have the guts to tell me WHY you're dumping me? What a cowardly bitch. You think you're so fucking superior because you're busy all the time... maybe you are. A good person doesn't kick somebody while they're down. You don't monopolize mutual friends and abandon your partner when they already have 0 self esteem. I was there when you had nothing. If not for me and my menial job, you couldn't have left that shithole state and moved to where you are now. But you're kicking ME out with no warning and no explanation? On Valentine's Day? When MY name is on the fucking lease right beside yours? Fucking typical.

I never cheated on you. I didn't steal from your bank account, gossip behind your back or betray you in any other way that would warrant that kind of treatment. Yet here we are. You used me as a stepping stone and will one day stumble. Karma is a cold bitch. Maybe all those bizarre troubles you had AT EVERY JOB weren't your co-workers' fault. If you treated them half as bad as you treated me in our last days together, you deserved every fucked up thing that happened to you. Own it. Hell, our first encounters involved you shitting on me over a GUY! I should've known then that you were a horrible person, but my low self-esteem allowed me to overlook your bitchy behavior. No more.

You are just as demented as your mother. I hope someone does to you exactly what you did to me one day. That's the only way you'll ever understand the impact of your actions because you have no empathy. I acknowledge my shortcomings. You apparently can't admit a single flaw in your DNA. You're perfect and completely without fault and I'm a loser piece of trash. Just remember me when you're with your next psycho coke-snorting, cheating, booze-guzzling, diseased piece of West Coast ass. Nobody will ever love you like I did. You fucked up, cunt.

P.S. - I love you. <3
 
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^^ their loss, baby. I'll bet they're doing you the biggest favor of your life by leaving. I have been in a similar situation, in that if not for me, my sacrifices, my had work, that loser wouldn't have had shit in the end, leaving me when my health got bad through genetics, not even anything I caused.

Guess what? His life is a living hell now, and every fucking facebook post he makes its him feeling sorry for himself, not recognizing its karma at its finest, or posting shit about women that's disgusting while he raises two daughters.

Example:
Women who ask where are all the good men at don't cook, clean, or suck DICK. Where the good men at? At home, they finished dinner, relaxing in aclean house about to get their duck sucked.(though I ignore him in general, him having daughters, that made me sick, especially knowing what a lazy, selfish ahole he was, I couldn't help but comment "goes both ways! Also, don't forget to teach your daughters this important lesson." Lmao no response.....)

Meanwhile, I met his wants - not needs - and needs in every way and then some before my heath crippled me. Mind you, he's a horrible premature ejaculater with literally one skill in bed that gets boring after a while. Thinks he rocked my world. Honey, when I was a teen banging other inexperienced teens, they were better. He was awful in the sack but just like everything else thought he was just the king. Still does, can't figure out why his life is in shambles though its quite clear.

He texts me occasionally and I have no desire to talk with him. He's an idiot.

Was devastated at first to be left while my health feel apart despite how hard I fought, after nine years of having his back, fucking him like he didn't deserve, and doing everything around the house. Never again.

It's not your loss. It's his.

You'll get there. It hurts at first but in hindsight I'm so fucking glad he left.

I know he realizes what a mistake he made .

Karma is a bitch baby! :D
 
How are you supposed to "stop baiting" somebody who has been stalking and harassing you for months, and literally anything you say or is said about you is "bait"?
 
Your breath really smells & if you were one of my best mates, the truth would be appreciated, but I don't know you well enough to tell you that without risking offence
 
^^ omg I used to have a Superior at work whose breath was like a rotting corpse, and they were a "close talker" to top it off. Good luck, man, that's awkward as hell lol
 
I'm okay with being single, but sometimes I think it would be fun to make coffee for someone every morning again.

Not YOU of course. ;)

=D
 
To you, B, the asshole I was waaay to good to. Let's see how much of this shit YOU could handle, while being a kind, gentle, loving, compassionate person who suggests had something positive to say, who fought hard even before diagnosis:

https://edhs.info/symptoms

How long would YOU have lasted, B, before you completely gave up? A couple months, while whining and not considering the impact it also had on those around you and doing everything possible to shield those people from your struggles so they aren't burdened?

Just wondering. You know. Since you "believed" me and were so "supportive" and not at all caught up in superficial, shallow shit. After I made more than you, you spent like the world was ending on things you definitely didn't need that were disgustingly self indulgent, and while I never got to clock out as you didn't do anything around the house, including laundry, trash, cooking from scratch, baking, making your own lunch, and the list goes on, while I worked.

Yeah, you sure had it rough, boy. And the NERVE of me to ask you to stop spending so recklessly so I could go to school for psychology, knowing I wouldn't be able to work the way I had been much longer, knowing that psychology was something I'd get straight As in and be able to earn a very nice income from

Crazy of me to rationally, logically plan a feasible way to still make it in the world - and comfortably, too! - while exercising two to four hours a day to combat my symptoms, change my diet even though I didn't eat unhealthy but figured even healthier would help, and still suffer through work especially after everything I did for both of us but especially you, while not letting it destroy my hope, happiness, being very conscious of impacting you or not wanting to burden you even with justified complaining about the torment my body endured, ugh I could just go on and on.

How's it working out again with that ho you fled to instead? You know, the one who had what, 4 kids already, 5? Different fathers? Mysteriously got knocked up by you immediately (i am just sure that wasnt a sign of what she did to suck men in for money), that you now have two kids of your own with, who cheated on you and left you, while you cry like a bitch on facebook acting like you're twenty (ffs, get over balding alreadyt, shave the rest off, and stop with the Fred Durst hats....) degrading women in your posts while you "raise" 2 daughters, talking about how you (makes me gag that you choose THESE WORDS but....) "went from HERO to zero" (lmao, in whose perspective exactly besides your own mind?), who smashed your windshield on your birthday before baby one of yours anyway was even born just because, whose behavior has caused your sweet little innocent girl who is barely school age to stab doors with knives, etc etc etc....yeah..... How's that going for you, babe? Oh yes and the jail time, animal neglect charges, drug charges, you putting a gun in some kids face because you're so logically inclined etc. Wow, this is an endless list huh?

What's that?

You had it damn good with me and I'm fucking excellent mother material? You know. How you said your girls would love me?

I'm sure they would.

I'm not a psycho whore.

But hey. You were right. No really. Thanks for getting the fuck or of my life. Biggest favor ever from you. Only favor? Both
.
Oh, karma, what a sucker for justice you can be

Don't get me wrong . I did feel bad for you..... Until we caught up recently and I see what a disgusting, self centered, poor-me, what did I do to deserve this, randomly and uncalled for commenting about our former sex life as though you rocked my world in the thirty seconds you could hold it in (while I rocked you like the boss I am in bed because other people's pleasure matters too) attitude you have. I won't treat an undeserving man that well ever again. I was young and tried like I thought I should, not realizing until shit hit the fan that you were as selfish as you were, your true colors revealed themselves. But a man who cares and does as much for me? You bet he will get treated like a king. When I find him :) And I will.

Please, leave me alone. I'm ignoring you. Get it?

You never learn

Not that my situation is great, but the link above should give you an idea of why my struggle is just ever so slightly more legit than yours, you dope.

Thanks for getting out of my life. Do me a favor and do it again, ok?
Thanks! :)
 
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I know i said i wouldn't pressure you about it all those weeks ago, but I'm not going to be able to hold to that. It's getting harder and harder to be apart from you for more than a week, and its getting worse the longer we're together; when we see each other in May I'm going to have to bring up seeing you more often again.
 
I am pretty sure people will miss you dearly, but nothing we can't handle.
 
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