ABetterWay
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 27, 2015
- Messages
- 836
This is it. I'm doing this.
You can keep drinking yourself to death and being an abusive piece of crap.
I'm quitting opiates despite the serve fucking physical pain that doesn't let me sleep. But hey, it's going to not matter anyway due to your drunken LOUD AS FUCK SNORING that literally doesn't allow me sleep. for more than half an hour at once, so that isn't going to stop me from quitting even.
You can, as usual, try to sabotage me all you wish, but this time it's not happening. I'm so done. I just need to get away from this marriage veggie you literally kill me or harm me severely. Steady have some permanent damage but nothing I can't live through.
Thanks for teaching me a lot. I mean that. It was hell, but my eyes are even more open than they were before. You can learn and extract good from every and anything. The price may be high, even not worth the suffering, but if you're already suffering and struggling, might as well gain some wisdom and apply it .
You're a rapist, a physical and emotional and verbal and mental abuser, you gaslight incessantly, you resort to stupid tactics of (failed) diversion or flipping blame when called on your crazy making bull shit, you ate a dead beat father to your girl in another state, you say awful things about that innocent child who is actually better of without you which says something, you are living in a false world where you are never wrong, you are superior, and entitled and its revolting, etc. That's just the beginning.
I'm sorry you learned these tactics from your horribly narcissistic and manipulative mother. I'm sorry you were criticized to no end for nothing, called inherently bad, etc. However, I've been through just as much if not more hell of that and other natures as well, and I strive to be kind
Younger, yes, I made mistakes I deeply regret. But that was precisely what I used to motivate me to evolve part the patterns I was taught. I didn't act like a coward who became a hypocrite by continuing the pattern
Maybe acknowledge more deeply and for more than a nanosecond at a time the effects your upbringing had on you, no need to be angry about our, they were like raised in hell too. That's how this generational shit keeps on going
But you are almost ,40. Grow up, and stop being the worst coward, the most selfish hateful Bastsrd I've ever known.
My compassion will always exist. But I'm not willing to die for you, over shit you can and choose not to face with courage, all while draining the shit out of me, while I battle my body and heath which by itself is draining
I don't use it as ash excise and push myself more than most healthy people I know. I pay dearly for it.
But I'm not going to just give up hope. Not going to be bitter and demand that you cater to me.
You don't even realize how much of a keeper I am, and that's your loss .
It really is
For the record I don't oust myself on the back in real life this way , out Lloyds, or even really in my mind except rarely and even then I'm modest.
I'm just pushed to my limit and ask more angry and fed up than afraid anymore.
And I'm going to thrive, not just survive.
To anyone reading this in a similar situation....YOU ABSOLUTELY DESERVE BETTER. Heath problems may slow your escape down, but you will get there if you keep going. One step at a time.
You are capable of more than you think. And the fear of the unknown even things like money while being severely physically ill, has got to be less stressful than abuse.
Love yourselves
My love to you guys.
Peace.
You can keep drinking yourself to death and being an abusive piece of crap.
I'm quitting opiates despite the serve fucking physical pain that doesn't let me sleep. But hey, it's going to not matter anyway due to your drunken LOUD AS FUCK SNORING that literally doesn't allow me sleep. for more than half an hour at once, so that isn't going to stop me from quitting even.
You can, as usual, try to sabotage me all you wish, but this time it's not happening. I'm so done. I just need to get away from this marriage veggie you literally kill me or harm me severely. Steady have some permanent damage but nothing I can't live through.
Thanks for teaching me a lot. I mean that. It was hell, but my eyes are even more open than they were before. You can learn and extract good from every and anything. The price may be high, even not worth the suffering, but if you're already suffering and struggling, might as well gain some wisdom and apply it .
You're a rapist, a physical and emotional and verbal and mental abuser, you gaslight incessantly, you resort to stupid tactics of (failed) diversion or flipping blame when called on your crazy making bull shit, you ate a dead beat father to your girl in another state, you say awful things about that innocent child who is actually better of without you which says something, you are living in a false world where you are never wrong, you are superior, and entitled and its revolting, etc. That's just the beginning.
I'm sorry you learned these tactics from your horribly narcissistic and manipulative mother. I'm sorry you were criticized to no end for nothing, called inherently bad, etc. However, I've been through just as much if not more hell of that and other natures as well, and I strive to be kind
Younger, yes, I made mistakes I deeply regret. But that was precisely what I used to motivate me to evolve part the patterns I was taught. I didn't act like a coward who became a hypocrite by continuing the pattern
Maybe acknowledge more deeply and for more than a nanosecond at a time the effects your upbringing had on you, no need to be angry about our, they were like raised in hell too. That's how this generational shit keeps on going
But you are almost ,40. Grow up, and stop being the worst coward, the most selfish hateful Bastsrd I've ever known.
My compassion will always exist. But I'm not willing to die for you, over shit you can and choose not to face with courage, all while draining the shit out of me, while I battle my body and heath which by itself is draining
I don't use it as ash excise and push myself more than most healthy people I know. I pay dearly for it.
But I'm not going to just give up hope. Not going to be bitter and demand that you cater to me.
You don't even realize how much of a keeper I am, and that's your loss .
It really is
For the record I don't oust myself on the back in real life this way , out Lloyds, or even really in my mind except rarely and even then I'm modest.
I'm just pushed to my limit and ask more angry and fed up than afraid anymore.
And I'm going to thrive, not just survive.
To anyone reading this in a similar situation....YOU ABSOLUTELY DESERVE BETTER. Heath problems may slow your escape down, but you will get there if you keep going. One step at a time.
You are capable of more than you think. And the fear of the unknown even things like money while being severely physically ill, has got to be less stressful than abuse.
Love yourselves
My love to you guys.
Peace.