Seattle_Stranger
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 5, 2009
- Messages
- 1,903
Meditation & Adrenaline - Inexperienced - Profound natural high triggered within me
It's currently 5am and I'm wide awake, tired but can't sleep worth a damn. Tonight I experienced something that may change my life from here on. I feel as if I unintentionally triggered *something* inside my brain and it's wayyy beyond placebo. Here's what happened:
I've been drinking more than I'd like lately, nothing of concern or real significance, just me being smart about it and knowing it's time for a break. I haven't had any psychedelics or hard drugs at all in recent months, just weed, kratom, alcohol and occasional kava kava, all of which I am thoroughly experienced with. Tonight I had a very low key night, smoking weed, absolutely no alcohol, kratom earlier in the day, and a tad of kava later on, very normal day for me. It was very late and I finally got into bed, and had trouble falling asleep (as I always do) so I began to meditate using my technique. I'll explain my technique in the next paragraph, so skip it if you aren't interested or think it sounds silly, just know that I am very convinced by it now after tonight.
When I meditate, I usually am in a calm comfortable environment, usually my room, low soft but trippy music playing, almost no light at all, sometimes alone, sometimes laying next to my girlfriend. It's very hard for me to explain what I actually 'do' when I meditate, so the best comparison is....think of how some people can flare their nostrils or wiggle their ears, well I feel like I can 'wiggle' (for lack of a better word!) or at least stimulate a certain part of my brain, and it feels somewhat centrally located, slightly towards the top. When I do this, I literally feel as if I was trying to wiggle my ears, but instead of my ears, it's a part of my brain. I feel like I need to put effort into doing it and it can tiresome, as if actual physical activity is taking place. When I 'wiggle' it, I feel a slowly building feeling of euphoria and contentment, comfort and a sort of disassociation. I also notice the natural CEV's that I normally get when I close my eyes become a lot more colorful and visible, but nothing unfamiliar. If I keep at it, I begin to feel lightly psychedelic as if I had taken a light dose of psilocybin or DMT, but very in control and positive/natural feeling, not invasive like some drugs can feel. I never thought TOO much of it, just another one of those weird human tricks....until tonight.
So I'm in my bed, it's bout 3:30am, and I've been going at this meditation thing for a while now. I am attempting to sync it up with my breathing, and I find it is having a substantial effect on the intensity, so I concentrate on this. I also have my eyes open, which doesn't seem to matter because it's so dark. I eventually got to the point where I started to notice that I was starting to be able to see in the dark, and rather well seeing how dark my room actually is. I try not to lose focus, so I just lay with my eyes open, 'wiggling' away
Soon, I notice that everything that I can see starts to warp around in a VERY similar but even more intense way as it did when I was once out of my MIND on mushrooms. I also would keep getting DMT-like audio hallucinations, like a subtle high-pitched buzzing not too different from ringing-ears but not the same. It was very hard to not stop meditating and just exclaim "Whoa cool!" but I kept at it, and it got more intense. I started to see more colors and visuals than ever, and they were melding in with my open eye vision, resulting in a full-blown experience far beyond placebo. It was great!! However, this was not what I feel changed the game for me.
While in this extremely intense meditative state, all of a sudden the silence and darkness of my room are shattered to pieces. My door opens, light comes pouring in and the silhouette of a strange figure stood in my bedroom doorway, then came in my room, looked around, and then walked out!!!
I have roommates, but only one of them is home, and that definitely was not him. I jump out of bed and yell "What the fuck? Who was that??" No response. I go charging down the hall after him and find him wondering around in my living room. "Hey, who are you?" I ask, he looks at me and says "Uhh, who are you?" in a sort of almost cocky kind of way. I see he doesn't look armed, he doesn't seem very threatening...just lost. All I know is some strange man just walked into my bedroom at 3:30am, so you can imagine my state of mind. Trying to remain as calm as possible, considering the possibility that maybe some crazy drunk/high fucker wondered into the wrong house and is just out of his mind. I say with authority "This is my fucking house, who the fuck are YOU and what are you doing?" He just stares at me. I demand "I asked you who the fuck you are and what the fuck you're doing in my house!!" He still looks very confused. I start to actually feel bad for him. I get real close to him and say aggressively, "Hey!! Buddy!! TALK. WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU." He begins to mutter something as my roommate comes flying up from the basement obviously from hearing the commotion. "Kevin what the fuck are you doing up here??!!" 
Apparently his dumb ass drunk-as-all-hell friend was wondering around the house looking for his cell phone, and decided not only would it be a good idea to let himself into my room at 3:30am while I was in bed with my lady, but to not respond to me when I demanded he ID himself. If I was firearms kind of guy, like many folks around here are, this could have ended very differently. It pains me greatly to think how close I was to subduing and possibly really badly hurting this strange person in my house, only to find out it's simply an intoxicated friend of my roommate. I was seconds away from grabbing him after he just wouldn't respond, because hesitation is NOT something I dabble in, however luckily my room mate arrived on the scene in time. I'm not trying to sound tough, it's the internet I don't care how tough you think I am, I'm just trying to explain the state of mind I was in.
I storm back to my room, slam the door, furious as all hell and very disturbed by what had just happened. My mind kept playing over much worse scenarios in my head of how it could have turned out. I could feel the adrenaline surging through my body, I was sweating all over, shaking, and obviously now WIDE awake. Quite a different state than I was in 5 minutes prior!! I storm around my room for a while as my lady and I talk about the incident. I sit down on my bed and talk and try to calm down. I feel high, and quite high at that. I felt a distinct stimulation quite similar to high doses of amphetamine, including jaw tension, pressure behind my eyes, buzzing in my head, and a strong urge to talk talk talk. I also notice that regardless of how amped up I was, I actually wasn't that upset anymore and felt like I got over it quickly, opposed to how I thought my anxiety would take over in such a situation. I actually notice that I've gone from feeling pure RAGE and FURY, to feeling ok, to actually feeling somewhat euphoric! I get up and go to the mirror in my now brightly-lit room and look at myself. HOLY PUPIL SAUCERS!! I look like I am rolling my face off and my girlfriend is shocked by my pupil size as well. I go back and look a few times, they stayed extremely large, almost no iris at all. I took this as a tell-tale sign that something is going on in my brain. But what??
I feel extremely stimulated like I could run miles, the only time I've had comparable stimulation is when I've taken speedy MDMA or way too much adderall, but with none of the anxious side effects. I feel euphoric, my body is buzzing, I feel like I can't get more mad about the situation if I wanted to, I also notice everything is over-bright and my alarm clock is making distinct trails in my vision. My lady keeps telling me my eyes are still huge. I felt as if I was on a light dose of the cleanest MDMA known to man. My heart was calm, my breathing was controlled, I felt like everything I was feeling was profound yet completely and totally natural. It lasted for at least the next hour. I turned the lights off, layed back down and began to meditate again. Effects returned in full force and I found myself involuntarily grinning ear to ear when I'd come out of the meditation. There also was one point where I was meditating, and a short reminder thought about the intruder popped into my head for a second, seemed to trigger a quick zap of adrenaline, however I immediately then felt extreeeemely euphoric, like a full-on MDMA roll stronger than I've ever experienced, but only for a short couple of seconds.
In conclusion, I feel that a real, true, big adrenaline rush while in a deep meditative state produces something incredible!! I have no idea what could be happening, all I know is placebo effects don't make my pupils nearly pop out of my head like that! I should have gotten a picture. I'm fairly experienced with substances, and alternate states of consciousness, this certainly was NOT baseline and was NOT just adrenaline. Normally, my anxiety would've taken over in this situation, I would've had a near panic-attack, and I'd probably still be fucking furious and feeling like shit, probably nauseous, etc.. I feel great though, very calm, collected, and ready to go back to bed, and never felt anxiety from the rush of adrenaline. I actually found myself curiously calm and collected while confronting the 'intruder'. Something certainly occurred in my head tonight and it was awesome.
Thanks for reading, and I hope no one thinks I'm trolling or whatever. I really would like to discuss this, hopefully speak to others who share similar experiences!
It's currently 5am and I'm wide awake, tired but can't sleep worth a damn. Tonight I experienced something that may change my life from here on. I feel as if I unintentionally triggered *something* inside my brain and it's wayyy beyond placebo. Here's what happened:
I've been drinking more than I'd like lately, nothing of concern or real significance, just me being smart about it and knowing it's time for a break. I haven't had any psychedelics or hard drugs at all in recent months, just weed, kratom, alcohol and occasional kava kava, all of which I am thoroughly experienced with. Tonight I had a very low key night, smoking weed, absolutely no alcohol, kratom earlier in the day, and a tad of kava later on, very normal day for me. It was very late and I finally got into bed, and had trouble falling asleep (as I always do) so I began to meditate using my technique. I'll explain my technique in the next paragraph, so skip it if you aren't interested or think it sounds silly, just know that I am very convinced by it now after tonight.
When I meditate, I usually am in a calm comfortable environment, usually my room, low soft but trippy music playing, almost no light at all, sometimes alone, sometimes laying next to my girlfriend. It's very hard for me to explain what I actually 'do' when I meditate, so the best comparison is....think of how some people can flare their nostrils or wiggle their ears, well I feel like I can 'wiggle' (for lack of a better word!) or at least stimulate a certain part of my brain, and it feels somewhat centrally located, slightly towards the top. When I do this, I literally feel as if I was trying to wiggle my ears, but instead of my ears, it's a part of my brain. I feel like I need to put effort into doing it and it can tiresome, as if actual physical activity is taking place. When I 'wiggle' it, I feel a slowly building feeling of euphoria and contentment, comfort and a sort of disassociation. I also notice the natural CEV's that I normally get when I close my eyes become a lot more colorful and visible, but nothing unfamiliar. If I keep at it, I begin to feel lightly psychedelic as if I had taken a light dose of psilocybin or DMT, but very in control and positive/natural feeling, not invasive like some drugs can feel. I never thought TOO much of it, just another one of those weird human tricks....until tonight.
So I'm in my bed, it's bout 3:30am, and I've been going at this meditation thing for a while now. I am attempting to sync it up with my breathing, and I find it is having a substantial effect on the intensity, so I concentrate on this. I also have my eyes open, which doesn't seem to matter because it's so dark. I eventually got to the point where I started to notice that I was starting to be able to see in the dark, and rather well seeing how dark my room actually is. I try not to lose focus, so I just lay with my eyes open, 'wiggling' away
Soon, I notice that everything that I can see starts to warp around in a VERY similar but even more intense way as it did when I was once out of my MIND on mushrooms. I also would keep getting DMT-like audio hallucinations, like a subtle high-pitched buzzing not too different from ringing-ears but not the same. It was very hard to not stop meditating and just exclaim "Whoa cool!" but I kept at it, and it got more intense. I started to see more colors and visuals than ever, and they were melding in with my open eye vision, resulting in a full-blown experience far beyond placebo. It was great!! However, this was not what I feel changed the game for me.While in this extremely intense meditative state, all of a sudden the silence and darkness of my room are shattered to pieces. My door opens, light comes pouring in and the silhouette of a strange figure stood in my bedroom doorway, then came in my room, looked around, and then walked out!!!
I have roommates, but only one of them is home, and that definitely was not him. I jump out of bed and yell "What the fuck? Who was that??" No response. I go charging down the hall after him and find him wondering around in my living room. "Hey, who are you?" I ask, he looks at me and says "Uhh, who are you?" in a sort of almost cocky kind of way. I see he doesn't look armed, he doesn't seem very threatening...just lost. All I know is some strange man just walked into my bedroom at 3:30am, so you can imagine my state of mind. Trying to remain as calm as possible, considering the possibility that maybe some crazy drunk/high fucker wondered into the wrong house and is just out of his mind. I say with authority "This is my fucking house, who the fuck are YOU and what are you doing?" He just stares at me. I demand "I asked you who the fuck you are and what the fuck you're doing in my house!!" He still looks very confused. I start to actually feel bad for him. I get real close to him and say aggressively, "Hey!! Buddy!! TALK. WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU." He begins to mutter something as my roommate comes flying up from the basement obviously from hearing the commotion. "Kevin what the fuck are you doing up here??!!" Apparently his dumb ass drunk-as-all-hell friend was wondering around the house looking for his cell phone, and decided not only would it be a good idea to let himself into my room at 3:30am while I was in bed with my lady, but to not respond to me when I demanded he ID himself. If I was firearms kind of guy, like many folks around here are, this could have ended very differently. It pains me greatly to think how close I was to subduing and possibly really badly hurting this strange person in my house, only to find out it's simply an intoxicated friend of my roommate. I was seconds away from grabbing him after he just wouldn't respond, because hesitation is NOT something I dabble in, however luckily my room mate arrived on the scene in time. I'm not trying to sound tough, it's the internet I don't care how tough you think I am, I'm just trying to explain the state of mind I was in.I storm back to my room, slam the door, furious as all hell and very disturbed by what had just happened. My mind kept playing over much worse scenarios in my head of how it could have turned out. I could feel the adrenaline surging through my body, I was sweating all over, shaking, and obviously now WIDE awake. Quite a different state than I was in 5 minutes prior!! I storm around my room for a while as my lady and I talk about the incident. I sit down on my bed and talk and try to calm down. I feel high, and quite high at that. I felt a distinct stimulation quite similar to high doses of amphetamine, including jaw tension, pressure behind my eyes, buzzing in my head, and a strong urge to talk talk talk. I also notice that regardless of how amped up I was, I actually wasn't that upset anymore and felt like I got over it quickly, opposed to how I thought my anxiety would take over in such a situation. I actually notice that I've gone from feeling pure RAGE and FURY, to feeling ok, to actually feeling somewhat euphoric! I get up and go to the mirror in my now brightly-lit room and look at myself. HOLY PUPIL SAUCERS!!
I look like I am rolling my face off and my girlfriend is shocked by my pupil size as well. I go back and look a few times, they stayed extremely large, almost no iris at all. I took this as a tell-tale sign that something is going on in my brain. But what??I feel extremely stimulated like I could run miles, the only time I've had comparable stimulation is when I've taken speedy MDMA or way too much adderall, but with none of the anxious side effects. I feel euphoric, my body is buzzing, I feel like I can't get more mad about the situation if I wanted to, I also notice everything is over-bright and my alarm clock is making distinct trails in my vision. My lady keeps telling me my eyes are still huge. I felt as if I was on a light dose of the cleanest MDMA known to man. My heart was calm, my breathing was controlled, I felt like everything I was feeling was profound yet completely and totally natural. It lasted for at least the next hour. I turned the lights off, layed back down and began to meditate again. Effects returned in full force and I found myself involuntarily grinning ear to ear when I'd come out of the meditation. There also was one point where I was meditating, and a short reminder thought about the intruder popped into my head for a second, seemed to trigger a quick zap of adrenaline, however I immediately then felt extreeeemely euphoric, like a full-on MDMA roll stronger than I've ever experienced, but only for a short couple of seconds.
In conclusion, I feel that a real, true, big adrenaline rush while in a deep meditative state produces something incredible!! I have no idea what could be happening, all I know is placebo effects don't make my pupils nearly pop out of my head like that! I should have gotten a picture. I'm fairly experienced with substances, and alternate states of consciousness, this certainly was NOT baseline and was NOT just adrenaline. Normally, my anxiety would've taken over in this situation, I would've had a near panic-attack, and I'd probably still be fucking furious and feeling like shit, probably nauseous, etc.. I feel great though, very calm, collected, and ready to go back to bed, and never felt anxiety from the rush of adrenaline. I actually found myself curiously calm and collected while confronting the 'intruder'. Something certainly occurred in my head tonight and it was awesome.
Thanks for reading, and I hope no one thinks I'm trolling or whatever. I really would like to discuss this, hopefully speak to others who share similar experiences!
