masturbating is worse.
disclosure: with a girlfriend/life-partner that has an equally extremely high sexual appetite
we can go for 2-3 hours flat out without an issue. here's what i do...
bottom line on top:
- must alternate
- alphabet or spelling or mathematics
0. UP FRONT
Make sure you talk about everything, encourage sharing and exploring every fantasy no matter how weird. She will share things with you that are embarrassing to her that she wants to try, and likely you do. Encourage them all, try them all, embrace them all. If you really love each other, you'd support and fully embrace them all. You're pleasing the others. This is an area where you can build trust, depth in relationship, by being open about the desires; they add spark, keep it from dying.
1. MUST ALTERNATE
My girlfriend and I alternate. I LOVE sucking pussy, I love drinking her juice and she super gets off on that. And we both LOVE fucking, a LOT.
So what we do which works well is this:
Always her first, I give her oral till she has her first orgasm. I start with just sucking (typical things, alphabet with tongue, hood flicks, coverage sucks, lip, vagina, then concentrate on clit), about 2 minutes in (for her) i start thrusting with one finger to stimulate her g spot at the same time, at about 4-8 minutes in she has her first orgasm like clockwork. I push her through her orgasm, suck the juices. Then...
Spit on my dick for lube, and bang the shit out of her. And we're very verbal, "I love to bang the shit out of your cervix, hon", or "I love your Asian pussy, white pussy sucks, god I'm so glad I'm with an Asian", "will you marry me?", "you're such a hot bitch", "take this (cock) bitch", "oops, sorry hon, about that bitch shit, but damn I love fucking you". You get the point. She gets really turned on that I take charge. I fuck the shit out of her while she does this. As I'm fucking, she's masturbating !!! So about 4-8 minutes in she has another orgasm, bigger one. I go down and drink up her juice. I go back to oral (step 1) and repeat the process 4-6 times for a total of 8-12 huge orgasms for her.
If she has a REALLY HUGE orgasm, which she often does that may mean I can fuck her one more time, and I can do anything I want, front, behind, or oral.
2. ALPHABET
When we first met, I found it very hard keeping it together. I'm so white I'm nearly transparent. She's Asian, darker, thin, big tits, and hot as hell (I still have no clue why she's with me, if it weren't for the fact that previously we had a 10 year friendship and were colleagues years ago). In a nutshell, I too had a VERY hard time keeping it together. Then in a moment when I was about to blow it...
I noticed a Curel or Vaseline Skin Care bottle on her table. I read the label, I spelled out V..... A...... S..... E.... L..... I.... N.... E....
I kept spelling Curel, then did math: first 10 primes are 2, 3, 5 7, 11, etc.
It worked like a charm. Spelling or Mathematics (sigh, I loved you math, you were a good friend, but now you're a cheap trick (triple meaning) ) are big hard dick killers. No kidding, it works FANTASTIC.
3. CONSEQUENCES: It takes longer to cum.
So we've been dating for 16-18 months now. We fuck a LOT. We have sex 4 times a weekend, at least 3 times during the week days if not more. She still gets 6-13 orgasms a night/each time. I can orgasm 1, perhaps 2 times each. There is a consequence.
It's now taking me longer to cum. Younger, I could cum, flaccid to hard to orgasm, in 20 -25 seconds flat. I can't do that anymore. It takes me 5 minutes. If we've fucked, already for say 1 hour or two hours, after her peak orgasm, it may take me another 5 minutes of fucking to get off. If its hard to get going, roll her over and have at it from behind, or masturbate over her face.
Hope this helps, albeit a bit graphic. Three points: Communicate, Alternate, Alphabet