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Craving thread – v. Hold On

Tackyspiral : Congrats on the pregnancy and staying clean since you found out. I – I can relate. If you want to talk sometime PM me and we can chat someplace.

Twato : I totally feel like going back to an old script and I am seriously considering that I can control it this time  Very sad because it’s a rationalization that rings so possible. You say it doesn’t work eh? And ya I’m grateful I’m not going to be making a fool of myself at Christmas this year too. Weed is heavy stuff too ya know. Personally I think I’m going to go back to it after 18 months off……

Sepher: So positive, you still are feeling it? How was Thanksgiving?

__
Cravings GALORE. My rationalization is *so* tricky that even the most inspirational quotation can be used to justify use:

“As you imagine and visualize and verbalize your new story, in time you will believe the new story, and when that happens, the evidence will flow swiftly into your experience. A belief is only a thought you continue to think; and when your beliefs match your desires, then your desires must become your reality.

There is no physical body, no matter what the conditions, that cannot achieve an improved condition. Nothing else in your experience responds as quickly as your own physical body to your patterns of thought.”.
--- Abraham Hicks

So, in my mind, I can tell myself that I can visualize and verbalize my new story (controlled use) then it will become reality.
 
Oh goodness, did this ever come at the right time. Hello everybody, WE CAN DO IT :) I just got through talking about needing to share support with the recovery community and here it is.

I'm on day 7 without codeine meds, and have two and a half years of recovery from alcohol, dope, valium. Heck, if I can do that I can do this one too. I nearly used yesterday. My mind went straight to getting to the chemist. I caught it, delayed the decision, had a drug and alc session (luckily already planned) ... by that time I was stronger. Went swimming (exercise def helps) and somehow made it to the evening - kids home, partner home, opportunity passed.

Reminded why I need abstinence. This time last week I was in the ER due to what they call a 'staggered overdose' on paracetamol/ibuprofen. How to get through each day now is the question ... and the answer, little by little, hanging in there, keeping the mind of the tendency towards AUTO-PILOT.

A notable comment from my psychologist this week: Addiction circulates around PATTERN and ROUTINE. So does recovery. New patterns, new routines. They're individual for all of us. What are yours? What routines can you implement to guard yourself from tipping into using/drinking/smoking? I'm getting strict about mine, putting a list together of recovery focused ones, to help me through these crucial early days.

Thanks so much for the thread, and for all of you that are there right now.
 
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How do you all get past cravings?

Today I was really craving some alcohol and to get drunk but I did not buy any or drink at all. Talking to a friend also helped a lot since I was angry I could not drink at all. Exercising and as someone else mentioned meditation can get my mind off drinking but just temporarily.

I know I can't drink like regular drinkers or people who don't have an addiction to alcohol; but sometimes I'll wonder if I can and I did try this before in the past but I failed at it.

The stuff I used to abuse/use I found relatively easy to stop or it was a lot easier than alcohol is since alcohol is everywhere and can easily be bought, given to you, or people will buy it for you. Also it's the whole "stopping forever" part that I don't like but I will think back to how bad I was with drinking way too much daily, blacking out, getting sick, and doing dangerous things while drunk/buzzed/intoxicated on alcohol and I don't want to get that way again.

Since I stopped drinking back in July/August I have been around people drinking alcohol and I'll really want some then but I'll drink water or seltzer water, go take a walk or to the bathroom, or tell myself I can't drink right now.

Also I am aware that people who do get addicted to alcohol or other drugs do sometimes get addicted to other things and I am not going to let that happen to me even though sometimes things sneak up on us.
 
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Being around people drinking is a huge trigger yeah? I found this for me re: marijuana. I would become acutely angry that I couldn't partake, too. So my friend stopped bringing it around me. That was a huge help and decreased my obsession quite a bit.

I get through cravings by just holding on and watching the rumination happen. (Like a fly on the wall.)
 
I'm craving, well pretty much anything right now. Considering convenience and detectability (I'm on probation) I've been using the hell outta some spice recently.

I know it's a synthetic cannabinoid, but this shit is not just like weed. I crave it severely when I'm out.

And the thing is, I'm doing a side job tomorrow, and getting paid tomorrow, and the store is just... THERE.

But, I guess I'm gonna try again, so hopefully tomorrow is "day 1"
 
Oh so close... Cravings really messing w/ me bad atm. I think I'll be ok cuz i am at my bf's and not alone at my house plotting and trying to rationalize crazy stupid behavior.
My knee is totally fucked so I'm not working right now. The doc says it's unfixable w/out surgery and all that means is more time on my hands to think up more schemes to use. I can't blame my using on the knee cuz I'm filled up w/ Rx things which seem to be making the dope craving even worse instead of easing it off.
I think I can, I think I can, I think...
-izzy
 
ive been on subs for like the past 3 weeks 2-6mgs a day...and im afraid to stop because i dont want to feel any kind f WD. Even though it will be very low key WD....and im afraid of the H craving to come back...

u guys think my WD from the subs will be okay?i take like 2-3mg every 12 hours....for the past 3-5 weeks
 
Day one of being clean is over and technically its day 2, but I haven't been to bed because I can't sleep. I'm trying to stay busy on the internet and watching terrible tv shows. Right now one day at a time seems impossible, I'm barely making it one hour at a time
 
I'm not necessarily craving at the moment, but the past couple of weeks have been rough. I'm almost at 9 months of continuous sobriety. I'm at dd right now slamming a coffee because it's the only thing i have and i love it. I don't smoke very many cigs and sometimes i wish i enjoyed them more so i can have a little bit of something else to take the edge off. Cigs actually cause my anxiety levels to rise substantially and are saved usually for right before bed. I've done a naughty and came across(stole) 2 10 mg hydrocodones that i've had stashed somewhere for a little while now. I was very stressed when i took them and since that time things have gotten better for me. I've been craving much more since i've had them and i've been regretting it more often than not since i've taken them. I'm 26 an the thought of not getting high again seems an impossibility. Also, it's not very appealing either. I've done more since i've gotten sober.. Oh say 260 days ago, than i have in my 20s.. I should throw these fuckers away. I know i should. Definitely tell my sponser. Bah humbug!!!! It's kind of neat that i'm actually able to possess drugs now w/o immediately shoving them in my body, but i know once i consume them that it's off to the races again. Will i be throwing away all that i've built for myself? All that i've achieved... My assumption is probably. I've been in this dunkin for awhile..
 
PriestTheyCalledHim said:
How do you all get past cravings?

Today I was really craving some alcohol and to get drunk but I did not buy any or drink at all. Talking to a friend also helped a lot since I was angry I could not drink at all. Exercising and as someone else mentioned meditation can get my mind off drinking but just temporarily.

I know I can't drink like regular drinkers or people who don't have an addiction to alcohol; but sometimes I'll wonder if I can and I did try this before in the past but I failed at it.

The stuff I used to abuse/use I found relatively easy to stop or it was a lot easier than alcohol is since alcohol is everywhere and can easily be bought, given to you, or people will buy it for you. Also it's the whole "stopping forever" part that I don't like but I will think back to how bad I was with drinking way too much daily, blacking out, getting sick, and doing dangerous things while drunk/buzzed/intoxicated on alcohol and I don't want to get that way again.

Since I stopped drinking back in July/August I have been around people drinking alcohol and I'll really want some then but I'll drink water or seltzer water, go take a walk or to the bathroom, or tell myself I can't drink right now.

Also I am aware that people who do get addicted to alcohol or other drugs do sometimes get addicted to other things and I am not going to let that happen to me even though sometimes things sneak up on us.
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I just leave the cravings to do their thing and wait them out knowing they'll pass. No more than that needed, they always do and pretty quickly. Trying not to dwell on them is key, otherwise you get into battling with yourself about whether you're gonna give in to them or not, really winds you up. Recognise them for what they are, acknowledge them but assert your control with a no, I'm stronger than this and do not not have to act on these cravings at their insistence. Make the decision and mean it, I find they let go soon enough once properly dismissed like that. And try not to get hung up on the forever thing. It may turn out to be forever but you don't have to stop for forever. You just have to not drink for today, forever will take care of itself. May be in time you feel you've got enough control back to drink socially again, certainly something I used to hope for. Now know that will not likely happen but forever's too long to even think about, so I don't. Simple.

Being around others when they're drinking is a difficulty, no question. Only done it once so far on a night out with a good group of us, me the only one not drinking while everyone else was downing vile looking neon coloured shots and double whatevers. Felt a little deprived for a while yes ( though you couldn't have made me pick one of the shots up, the thought was making me heave! ) annoyed that I couldn't join in cos of my loss of control where booze is concerned. Felt very much better about things later in the night when people were being bundled off home in taxis obviously feeling ill and worse for wear while I still had plenty of staying power left, was disappointed to call it a night in the end.

Cravings have suddenly reappeared for despite me being 4 and a bit months sober now. Not sure what that's about and if it's just a general thing or there's a particular trigger at work I've not picked up on as yet but they're a lot more insistent of late than they have been since the first month. No biggie, perfectly dismissable as per the above but bought a double vodka yesterday purely so I could use a coupla ml as a solvent for a nasal spray. Very, very nearly drank the thing. Poured it into a coffee as a kind of toast after a profound experience to allow myself one last taste of something I was swearing off anew, a kind of hi and bye once more. Stupid I know. As it happens I put the cup to my mouth, soon as I felt the vodka in it pass my lips thought WTF am I doing, put the thing down, got rid. Not counting it as a slip even. If anything demonstrates I'm as invested in my sobriety as I've been feeling I am. Onwards and upwards.
 
i want to take some kratom, have a drink, pop a xanax, and take my vyvanse
i cant do any of these safely because i am pregnant
i am sooooo stressed with school!
 
probably wouldnt be in your best interest to do any of those,when your kid is born too. Not smart being fucked up a baby to tend to =)
 
Sepher said:
Cravings have suddenly reappeared for despite me being 4 and a bit months sober now. Not sure what that's about and if it's just a general thing or there's a particular trigger at work I've not picked up on as yet but they're a lot more insistent of late than they have been since the first month. No biggie, perfectly dismissable as per the above but bought a double vodka yesterday purely so I could use a coupla ml as a solvent for a nasal spray. Very, very nearly drank the thing. Poured it into a coffee as a kind of toast after a profound experience to allow myself one last taste of something I was swearing off anew, a kind of hi and bye once more. Stupid I know. As it happens I put the cup to my mouth, soon as I felt the vodka in it pass my lips thought WTF am I doing, put the thing down, got rid. Not counting it as a slip even. If anything demonstrates I'm as invested in my sobriety as I've been feeling I am. Onwards and upwards.
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Wow, Sepher, that is huge! I'm so relieved for you. You just keep taking these steps and it is actually very profound to witness. I know there is a part of you that must feel this, too. Diffusing the power of the thing that had you enslaved is, like everything else, a slow process. But those steps are monumental. Big hugs to you my friend. You don't know how many times a day I think about this struggle and all the people fighting it that I have gotten close to and just get a shiver down my spine. Since caleb died I have learned to let go of worry. Instead I just close my eyes and send a little intention out into the universe saying, "let my care make a difference in this moment and beyond". <3
 
Thanks Herb. Yeah, I definitely feel the booze has lost much of the grip it had at the moment and hopefully will continue to lose it still more. I could have drunk it easy, been a bit lax with the Antabuse this last week so well out of my system enough for a double vodka. I'm glad I didn't, would have kicked myself for being stupid in a bit of an altered state and actually feel all the stronger for being able to assert the control with an already rationalised drink at my lips. At the stage now where I've got through the worst and now I'm relatively free of it enough for it not to require a huge effort of will so much time to devote my energies to other areas that need addressing by way of moving forward and building on things. :)

Instead I just close my eyes and send a little intention out into the universe saying, "let my care make a difference in this moment and beyond".
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Oh, it does Herb, I have no doubt. Maybe not for everyone you'd like, that would be an unreasonable expectation to place on yourself that you could never fulfill but for enough of us at least that your care has real value and is deeply felt. Told you this before, you're a gift to this forum and those of us here. The place would be greatly diminished without you. No pressure! ;)

<3
 
I've been fighting cravings all day.

As strange as it seems, just the "motion" of getting high soothes me..whether its shooting water into my arm or even just taking an Advil, it subsides my cravings and calms me down. I can't quite explain it, but it's very odd. It doesn't completely eliminate my intense cravings but it does calm them down a bit. Fighting cravings is the absolute fucking worst. I never knew it was possible to crave drugs before. When I got my first craving, i didn't understand. It caught me off guard. Now - it's a daily battle...
 
^ Good on you for continue fighting!


I'm so conflicted. I think I'm just going to have to be on benzos forever. I know they are the devil but I can't live without them. Tapering down really sucks. I went through my docs week supply in 4 days, they gave me more for the weekend, managed to save two. They are so hard to ration, I think it's just my high tolerance? I need more. but it's so hard to ration then. I want more, I want to order more so badly. I won't. I'll wait to my appointment today. But argh, so tempting.
.
 
hthr007 said:
As strange as it seems, just the "motion" of getting high soothes me..whether its shooting water into my arm or even just taking an Advil, it subsides my cravings and calms me down. I can't quite explain it, but it's very odd. It doesn't completely eliminate my intense cravings but it does calm them down a bit.
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Classical conditioning, Pavlov's dogs. The needle becomes associated with the high so you get a conditioned endorphin release just from shooting up even if there's nothing active in it. Shooting water would take the edge off withdrawal for a little while for me, provided some immediate relief. Where the needle fixation a lot of IV users develop comes from, the needle produces a physical effect that becomes addictive in its own right. Lots of IV users find stopping shooting almost as difficult as quitting the gear because of that, actually crave the needle as well as their DOC.

Keep battling. It gets easier as you get used to dealing with them more and they'll fade in time once you've quit opiates for good.
 
This is gonna sound stupid, but my cravings strongly connect w/ the fear of losing my connections (for dope) right now. I worry if I stop I'll lose my connections and need to find new ones. This is of course absurd, b/c a person who's quit dope doesn't need connections. Can anyone relate?
 
moe: I can understand that ^
It sounds like it's the surrendering of one of your selves that is causing the dissonance. It's one of the stages of loss... denial/isolation, grief, bargaining, anger, depression, acceptance.

hthr007: No pills for 18 months or so, and I still feel relief from taking a tylenol.
 
Cohesion said:
moe: I can understand that ^
It sounds like it's the surrendering of one of your selves that is causing the dissonance. It's one of the stages of loss... denial/isolation, grief, bargaining, anger, depression, acceptance
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To clarify, I mean my connections, as in drug dealers. It sucks tracking down reliable and decent heroin connects.
 
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