I agree. I also suffer from drug addiction. I went ten years using heroin doing an average of .5 grams a day intravenously. Three years ago I hit rock bottom as I was stealing money from friends and family to maintain my habit. I almost lost everything and everybody in my life including my two children. I tried so hard to quit before but couldn't go more than a few months clean because my PAWS were very bad. I still had shakes, sweats, chills, anxiety, RLS, and insomnia after three months clean and couldn't take it anymore and picked up again. I finally stumbled across bluelight.org and found a ton of useful information on ways to taper and quit for good. What worked for me was 7 grams of Kratom three times a day for the first two weeks. I had withdrawal symptoms but they were relatively mild compared to what I was used to. After the first two weeks I felt 100% better and was able to taper the kratom down .5 grams every week until I was down to 1 gram three times a day. That took about three months then I switched to taking 4mg of loperamide twice daily. I had to stay at that level for about a month or I would feel symptoms again. After that month I dropped 1mg every two weeks until I was at nothing. My taper program took a total of almost nine months with no withdrawal symptoms after the first two weeks. I recommend doing a slow taper to make it as comfortable as possible and not have to deal with PAWS. I was clean for over two years! Five months ago I started shooting up again because I'm fucking retarded I guess? Anyway I'm working on a new taper program as we speak. Unfortunately I could not afford Kratom this time as I depleted all I have saved for the last two years in 5 months. Im using just loperamide this time and it is much worse withdrawal. I am now 5 days clean and at about 90% Ive been taking about 80mg of loperamide once daily. I should be leveling out in the next day or two so I can start dropping 2mg twice a week until I get to 20mg a day then I will just drop 1mg a week. Wish me luck!!!
hey !!
just thought i would see how you are going now... still off the gear..???
I have been doing really well lately...
Over the last 5-6 weeks i have only booted' h once.
My sources have all dried up on me, so even if i do cave in, i will need to devote so much extra time and energy into meeting new connections... i don't think i can actually be fucked to do that these days.
Now that i am cleaner than ever before, i want to do things differently and forget all about the gear and the lifestyle that comes along with it.
My connection with my girlfriend has been exceptionally well since cleaning up...
We have become so much more social and connected with each other.. she can see the change in me and she is actually quite happy with how things have turned out, despite the fact that i was addicted to the hez behind her back...
She accepted my confession, and at the same time, watched as I put an immediate halt to my drug consumption.
Not only did i stop doing smack, I also immediately quit pot and stopped taking recreational drugs & alcohol, as well as avoiding various types of Benzo's, all of which would have assisted me throughout my very uncomfortable initial first week off the gear.
After surviving past the first few weeks, i decided to start smoking pot again, when it's appropriate...
I have no desire to drink alcohol or get fucked up on recreational drugs anymore.... All of my previous interest & drive for drug experimentation has now been lifted.
At most, i will let myself smoke a couple of spliffs at the beginning and end of a day just to give myself a little bit of relief in hope of getting better rest at night time...
I will however admit to experiencing great cravings - daily.. cravings for one more hit of heroin..
No matter how much i think i have progressed, these frequent urges to ingest H constantly remind me not to let my guard down.
I may be off the gear, but in reality its going to take much longer to cleanly disect my attachment with the shit.
I cant wait for the day when i wake up and for once, feel like my normal self again.. my self before i fucked with opiates..
i swear to god I have not actually felt anywhere close to my normal self for monthssss. i feel like this is it now, i may never get my old self back
fuck. how depressing.. to float on this miserable and uncomfortable plain until further notice.