fuck me, i just want to get off the dope

[Rattles]

The "easiest" times getting clean for me were when I was locked up. Just knowing I wasn't getting out, and the fact there is NO possible way to get any opiates made it that much easier. It still sucked, believe me.. But Lying on your couch knowing dope is one call away makes it so much harder.

Hiya Brokedown,

this is somethin' I keep meaning to bring up on BL, but I've never got round to. Like you I've always found the wds easiest when I know there's just no way I can score like when I've been in the cells or a time when I fucked up a script to go on holiday with. Like you say it's never good, but somehow if you know there's the slightest chance, (at least for me) I just feel worse and worse until I'd crawl thru broken glass (which I haven't yet done) and pick up used rigs off the street (which I have once..but got lucky) whereas if you just can't, somehow, just having to accept that you're gonna hurt a bit makes it easier to deal with. I guess it shows how much of it's psychological (for me at least). The other thing I've always found is just to forget all about sleep- I don't even try any more when rattlin', cos' just lying there with nothing to focus on but your own hurting is the hardest bit for me. Reading (even if I can't remember wtf I've just read), TV or internet 24/7 - anything but going to bed and closing my eyes..

Misfit chick, just keep it up and stay strong, I know there's nothing anyone can say to make the hurt go away, but if you really want to pack it in, you CAN do it!

All the best

Rattles

 

[DooMMooD]

Getting clean should not, and will not be easy buddy.

You were using for how long? The urge/feeling to continue using will not dissipate over night, nor will it with some subs.

Not trying to be a dick just honest: You need serious help. Get it, otherwise odds say you wont make it too far. It doesn't matter where you get it from: NA/AA, rehab, family, doctors. Just get it and keep asking for help until you dont need it anymore.

Nothing else to really say. Dont try to do it alone because you cant. Get some help , and not just solely in the form of an orange pill. You're in for a long ride. It will be the hardest thing you ever do, but it will also be the most worthwhile thing you ever do.

Not trying to be mean, but you should be a bit worried and scared. If youre not youre doing it wrong. If youre not hurting in SOME WAY, youre doing it wrong. It will not be pleasant, it will not be fun, and it will not be easy, dont kid yourself. But you must do it.

DO NOT LISTEN TO XBC! Listen to a doctor. Smok3y is right. Maybe you need subs for a year, who is to say? Wouldn't your rather be on subs for a year and get your shit together, not be in active addiction, and go through less intense withdrawals a year from now when your life is together and youre not digging through pockets looking for pills to IV? Wouldn't you rather not be shooting dope, if even for a year? No one, aside from a doctor, should say what medicine you should/should not be using, especially someone who themselves cannot stop abusing opiates. XTC said "there is no medical reason to be on subs that long" well there is: it prevents constant relapsing.

I am not saying this is what you need to do. Just that it should be an option and you shouldn't cross it off your list on the direction of someone who a thread above you said they relapsed and are asking how to stay clean from opiates.

XTC, have you noticed maybe your way (not taking suboxone as prescribed by a doctor and dosing yourself randomly and with a limited amount) isn't the way to go about doing it? I am not trying to be an asshole either, simply point out the logical fallacies present; which usually are always present when in active addiction and need to be POINTED OUT

But remember, if you do get on subs, IT IS NOT JUST ABOUT WAKING UP AND TAKING AN ORANGE PILL! You have a lot of work to do on yourself, in COMBINATION with that. If you just wake up and take sub you are not going to stay clean for very long. You gotta work on whats wrong INSIDE, the subs just help you tackle that issue since when youre shooting up opanas and heroin every day you dont even have TIME to work on yourself.

DO WHAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU! Everyone has a unique path to getting clean, dont listen to people when they tell you "oh NEVER DO X!" when they've never followed through with it correctly. Getting put on a sub program and following the doctors orders is not a bad thing, nor does it make you weak. Just a different road to sobriety.

Gotta find what works, for you, to keep you clean. And good luck, you'll need it.

 

[Misfit Chick]

To everyone who has posted, THANK YOU! Still trying to survive here

 

[badfish45]

To everyone who has posted, THANK YOU! Still trying to survive here

It's not easy, especially after 20 years of IV drug addiction. Just keep your eyes on the goal, you have a chance here to leave your junkie life behind and improve your life. In the end this will be what you want so don't give up! You deserve to be able to live your life free from a substance and happy.

 

[Misfit Chick]

The "easiest" times getting clean for me were when I was locked up. Just knowing I wasn't getting out, and the fact there is NO possible way to get any opiates made it that much easier. It still sucked, believe me.. But Lying on your couch knowing dope is one call away makes it so much harder.

Yea, the last time i got clean, i begged the judge to put me in jail for a month on a mm, i didnt want the probation, but the biggest issue for me was getting clean, i was in fl at the time and its very very hard to get into a rehab, it does help, but it wasnt long i was using again, THIS HAS BEEN THE HARDEST THING TO DO IN MY LIFE! I HAVE BEEN DOING THIS SHIT TO LONG! IM SO TIRED OF THE CHAINS

 

[jones-in_J]

You can do it just believe in yourself and when you start getting urges try to remind yourself how much harm jts done to your life

Trust me i know how hard it is i reallt thought id succeed in getting clean 4 or 5 days ago i was soo motivated but i tried to taper down with suboxone way too fast for how bad my habit is and here i am today having picked up half a gram of raw this morning.

I thibk the most important thing to remember- for me and you both- is that even when you slip up dont take it as a failure and go all out to hitting the streets hard again .. just try to learn something from the relapse and when you wake up the next morning try again!

Im looking into getting a suboxone doctor starting tomorrow because i have a job working 40 hours a week and cant take any time off to detox .. and i have crohns disease which becomes unbearable when coupled with witbdrawaks so i think i need a few weeks more then just the initial 5 day rapid detox i planned on doing that failed me

Good luck. just remember that yourself and your life is worth fighting to get clean for, i was clean for the most part of a year before and can tell you first hand that thwre is ligbt at the end of the tunnel if you fight hard enougb to get there

 

[Misfit Chick]

i get up in the morning and i fight myself in taking the sub..my brain tricks me into thinking that i will want to get something later, and that blocker is going to hinder my high...geez......why cant i just get up and take it????

 

[JDaMan35]

doesn't salvia clear some addiction?

 

[Misfit Chick]

i would smoke hobbit shit if it would help with addiction...Seriously tho, i dont know about salvia. Never used it.

 

[jones-in_J]

i would smoke hobbit shit if it would help with addiction...Seriously tho, i dont know about salvia. Never used it.

Whaaaat you never smoked hobbit shit? Lol

On a more serious note i just realized this was the thread i talked to you in before misfit, you just have to keep trying to get clean and not get deterred when/if you fuck up. Trust me im goin thru it too i got like 3 or 4 days off of smack then went back out for 2 days and took my last shot yesterday but am starting to get clean again starting today ..got a suboxone doctor yesterday so i think thats gonna make it a lot easier for me to make it

Like i said though we all fuck up you just have to roll with the punches when it happens. I mean im not makimg a commitnent today to quit all drugs forever- but i am going to stop for a good long while and get over withdrawals and get my life and $ back in order

 

[Missykins]

Personally, I think that you would benefit from going to rehab where you would have structure. It's how I got clean, but I stayed clean through my network of sober friends. My job requires that I work with same drugs (morphine) that I abused, but I haven't used morphine (or weed, or benzos) in six years. So it can be done, but it won't come to you passively. It is WORK.

 

[Missykins]

i would smoke hobbit shit if it would help with addiction...Seriously tho, i dont know about salvia. Never used it.

Don't do it.

 

[jones-in_J]

Yea fuck salvia the trip was terrible every time i did it. If you want a 5-10 minute shitty miserable trip go for it


I can really relate to what you said about not wanting to take suboxone cuz youre hoping to get dope later, i used to have the SAME dilema when i woke up every morning. Id still probably be that bad off if i hadent gone to rehab-- then a halfway house where i stayed clean for the most part of a year

Rehab really isnt a bad idea and honesyly sounds like itd do you a lot of good. Id be dead if i didnt go-- and even though i lately have been slupping up again the fact that i did so well for so long makes me feel like its a lot easier to bounce back to being clean now

I just started seeing a suboxone doctor yesterday and took my first dose on this clean streak today so wish me luck. And if your family would support you both emotionally and financially i highly recommend going to a rehab, it WILL make your life better if you go through with it and dont leave early i promise

 

[Misfit Chick]

Personally, I think that you would benefit from going to rehab where you would have structure. It's how I got clean, but I stayed clean through my network of sober friends. My job requires that I work with same drugs (morphine) that I abused, but I haven't used morphine (or weed, or benzos) in six years. So it can be done, but it won't come to you passively. It is WORK.

yea, i know been down that road a bunch, you woldnt beilieve me if i told you all the shit ive been thru

 

[xburtonchic]

Getting clean should not, and will not be easy buddy.

You were using for how long? The urge/feeling to continue using will not dissipate over night, nor will it with some subs.

Not trying to be a dick just honest: You need serious help. Get it, otherwise odds say you wont make it too far. It doesn't matter where you get it from: NA/AA, rehab, family, doctors. Just get it and keep asking for help until you dont need it anymore.

Nothing else to really say. Dont try to do it alone because you cant. Get some help , and not just solely in the form of an orange pill. You're in for a long ride. It will be the hardest thing you ever do, but it will also be the most worthwhile thing you ever do.

Not trying to be mean, but you should be a bit worried and scared. If youre not youre doing it wrong. If youre not hurting in SOME WAY, youre doing it wrong. It will not be pleasant, it will not be fun, and it will not be easy, dont kid yourself. But you must do it.

DO NOT LISTEN TO XBC! Listen to a doctor. Smok3y is right. Maybe you need subs for a year, who is to say? Wouldn't your rather be on subs for a year and get your shit together, not be in active addiction, and go through less intense withdrawals a year from now when your life is together and youre not digging through pockets looking for pills to IV? Wouldn't you rather not be shooting dope, if even for a year? No one, aside from a doctor, should say what medicine you should/should not be using, especially someone who themselves cannot stop abusing opiates. XTC said "there is no medical reason to be on subs that long" well there is: it prevents constant relapsing.

I am not saying this is what you need to do. Just that it should be an option and you shouldn't cross it off your list on the direction of someone who a thread above you said they relapsed and are asking how to stay clean from opiates.

XTC, have you noticed maybe your way (not taking suboxone as prescribed by a doctor and dosing yourself randomly and with a limited amount) isn't the way to go about doing it? I am not trying to be an asshole either, simply point out the logical fallacies present; which usually are always present when in active addiction and need to be POINTED OUT

But remember, if you do get on subs, IT IS NOT JUST ABOUT WAKING UP AND TAKING AN ORANGE PILL! You have a lot of work to do on yourself, in COMBINATION with that. If you just wake up and take sub you are not going to stay clean for very long. You gotta work on whats wrong INSIDE, the subs just help you tackle that issue since when youre shooting up opanas and heroin every day you dont even have TIME to work on yourself.

DO WHAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU! Everyone has a unique path to getting clean, dont listen to people when they tell you "oh NEVER DO X!" when they've never followed through with it correctly. Getting put on a sub program and following the doctors orders is not a bad thing, nor does it make you weak. Just a different road to sobriety.

Gotta find what works, for you, to keep you clean. And good luck, you'll need it.

You missed the point of my post entirely. Yeah, doing it my way WASN'T the way to go about it - that was my whole entire point of that post, I never said otherwise - and is WHY I RELAPSED. The whole point of me telling that story is because it's a perfect illustration of what happened when I took it for too long. What did I say about what happened when I had it done under medical supervision? Did you even read my whole post? Obviously not, because I'm pretty sure I said that I made it through the withdrawals with VERY little withdrawals or discomfort after doing a two week taper. I did fine in rehab. I did fine for a short while after rehab. My mistake was not finding something to replace the void that the drugs left, like going back to school right away or whatever, and hanging around people who were still using. You really need to go reread my post and understand the point I was trying to make... because you're arguing with me using my own argument. Which was this: that simply assuming or telling someone "You should be on Suboxone or Methadone for at least a year" is a mistake and can deter someone from getting clean, and that no one should do that UNLESS A DOCTOR DECIDES THEY NEED IT. I also said that Suboxone/Methadone CAN be used for a year or more, people can stay on it for their whole life if they need to, just that it's not recommended. If you can't understand why that is, then you need to do some research on Suboxone and Methadone. How does it make sense that you're telling me I'm wrong... by using an argument that basically repeats exactly what I said, word for word? I don't get it.

And FYI, since some people in here clearly don't know, the reason it's not recommended to simply decide "I need to be on Suboxone or Methadone for a year or more" right away is because that is replacing one addiction/drug dependency for another. There is no way around it. If you take Suboxone longer than a few weeks, you're already dependent on it. It doesn't take that long. Many people, and many threads in here, will attest to that. There are plenty of horror stories out there about Suboxone and Methadone withdrawal; look them up.

Are you really going to tell me that 2-3 weeks on Suboxone or Methadone isn't enough time to pick up some new hobbies and find a good outpatient program, NA meetings, counselling, other type of support system, start looking for a job, and get the ball rolling to get your life back on track? Because I wasn't aware that it took that long to ditch your old friends and find a new place to hang out. Maybe for people with social anxiety issues, sure. Or for people who really just can't stay clean, no matter what they do. Those are the types of people who are better of staying on Suboxone or Methadone for long periods of time. It does NOT take six months to a year to start getting your life together.

Seriously... are you REALLY telling me that the ONLY way a person can stay clean is by getting addicted to another type of opioid? Really? I can't even wrap my head around that lol you have to be kidding me right now. Let me tell you something about Suboxone, my dear. I have been down the "uneducated patient" road. I have taken Suboxone for the amount of time that you seem to thing is "mandatory"... longer, actually. 2 years to be exact. Want to know how long it took me to ditch my old habits and get back into the swing of things (i.e. get enrolled in school and pick up some new hobbies)? One week. That's it. And REBUILDING MY LIFE is what kept me from using for those two years, far more than the Suboxone did. What actually caused me to use again was the Suboxone. Both of my relapses have been because I was on Suboxone for far too long and couldn't stand the withdrawals (first time was under medical supervision, the second time wasn't.)

So yes, I do know what I'm talking about. I just really can't wrap my head around the fact that some people actually believe the ONLY way to get clean is by getting addicted to another drug that's in the same class of drugs that ruined their lives in the first place... I want to know where the logic in that is.

But hey, OP - if you want to hate your life again a year down the road and end up having the same exact problems you're having now - only it will be legal because a doctor is prescribing the drug to you instead of a drug dealer - be my guest and listen to DooMMooD. After being on it for that long, I can guarantee you that getting off of it will be no easier than getting off of dope. Except instead of five days of withdrawal, you'll have a few weeks of it to look forward to. And if you're lucky, you won't end up like I did the first time around, when I was uneducated about how addictive a drug it is and simply listened to everything my doctor said. I ended up losing my job and dropping out of school because of that shit - after a year of taking it I started getting so unmotivated and depressed about everything. After many attempts at getting through the Sub withdrawals and failing, I felt so hopeless about my addiction that I quite literally gave up on life altogether. Suboxone ruined my life in all aspects - financially, physically, emotionally, spiritually - far more than heroin or any other opiate did. Fuck, I wouldn't even BE a junkie right now if it weren't for Suboxone. I only went on it because I thought that the hydrocodone withdrawals were unbearable (LOL... that is such a joke to me now) and I went and cried to my doctor about it on, like, the third day of withdrawals... not even knowing that if I had just held on for a day or two longer, I would have been good to go and I wouldn't still be caught up in this nightmare.

The first time I tried IV heroin was partly because I was kicking from Suboxone, and it was offered to me, and out of desperation, I said yes. I'm not saying Suboxone is to blame entirely. It was a stupid mistake and a stupid decision on my part. But I never would have done it had the withdrawals not been so bad. The thought of using dope never even crossed my mind when I was kicking hydros. Suboxone isn't something to fuck around with. Seriously, PLEASE do your research before you make any decisions. There are plenty of horror stories similar to mine out there, some worse, some not as bad, but believe me... they're out there.

Just a side note: I know more people who have kicked heroin successfully than people who have kicked a long-term Suboxone dependency/addiction successfully. The evidence of this is all over the internet too. Seriously, just go to any Suboxone website out there. I used to visit those sites every one of the million times I was about to try kicking again, looking for any advice or suggestions or ray of hope. You're going to be very discouraged by what you see, just like I was. Just saying.

And if you do decide to listen to DooM, and blindly listen to what a doctor tells you to do without doing your own research first, and you end up going on Suboxone and staying on it... I'd love for you to report back here in a year and let us know how your brand new addiction is going

I'm not attacking you btw, OP. I'm just a little pissed off that there are people on this earth who genuinely believe the only way to get clean is by replacing one addiction with another one, and who believe you should never do your own research and simply do what your doctor tells you... since your doctor knows your addiction and your mindset and your goals in life better than you do...

Anyone else wants to talk about this, feel free to PM me. I need to leave this thread before my head explodes from reading too much ignorance.

 

[paranoid android]

Ive been using opiates on and off since i was maybe 13 years old (I'm 30 now) and have been addicted for about 6 years id say. I have been IVing for only about 3 and a half years but since i shot loads of hydromorphone from the get go and got into speedballing it and morphine with IV coke and shooting alot of coke by itself at times the needle took a pretty big hold on me. I also have to take morphine suspended release for chronic pain so you can fucking imagine how hard it is not to try and shoot that after getting a needle habit! I am trying to stick to just taking my pain meds as prescribed because i actually do get awful pain but you can imagine the temptation to slam about 240mg's of morphine in one shot to get a real nice tingly rush. I really wish my brain would just shut up about it but since it won't i have to try and fight it everyday. I don't always fare to well at it but I'm not nearly as bad as i was 2 years ago when i was shooting everything that could be shot that was even remotely safe.

I never believed it until i experienced it myself but the needle is a habit all of it's own. I went from being someone who actually had a needle phobia to shooting up hydromorphone about 6 times a day in a matter of months. I cannot imagine what it must be like to try and quit it after 20 years of use 8( . It's damn hard enough to put down the spike after only 3 years of use which ain't long in the grand scheme of things but is enough to cause me misery. Have you tried methadone? That might help the cravings more then subs or atleast it does for some people i know and you can't shoot up methadone mixed with tang or atleast only a total nutter would try it.

In anycase i wish nothing but good luck to you and i really really hope you end up putting the needle away for good.

Also to certain people arguing about what works best for getting off your DOC well everyone is different. If taking subs for years works for you instead of shooting smack everyday then i don't really see the problem. If you can use it for only a week and then stop well more power to you. There is no one size fit's all and i do know some people who actually need bupe/methadone or they go right back to shooting whatever they where shooting. The bottom line is if it works for you more power to you.

 

[DooMMooD]

Ironic you think I haven't read your post. Because, in case you read any of my post I said about 10x "Different road to sobriety"..."subs aren't a bad thing, just a DIFFERENT ROAD..." "everyones path is different, be it NA/AA/group, whatever works for you, do it.."

Once again its a unique road for everyone. I was just pointing out that its fucked up to say "oh subs never work, even though I never used them in the correct manner" Do whats right for you, I cannot stress this enough in every post I write.

I would also LOVE to see evidence saying people kick opiates easier WITHOUT maintenace, as opposed to with it, considering the highest % of sobriety seems to go to those who work NA/AA/Maintenace/group CONCURRENTLY. And thats just from a statistical standpoint.

I can tell you personally that I know very, very, few people who have quit WITHOUT maintenace drugs, and just as few who have quit WITH maintenance drugs. The odds are already so stacked against you....use every tool in the bag.

Also yes, I am going to say 2-3 weeks on suboxone is NOT enough time to entirely replace an old lifestyle with another. Once again the question should be asked: you used dope for HOW LONG? And you think that shits gonna be over with in 2-3 weeks? I mean sorry XBC but if you went back to using drugs I would say you in no way, shape, or form changed that much in 1 week. Just simply logical fallacies present during addiction. You really honestly think it took you 1 week to start a new life, and that you did it so fully that you never went back to using?

I've been rebuilding my life since December. I abused the shit out of opiates and other drugs for over 3 years. Im still probably not out of the woods yet. And i'm LUCKY! Some people dont get as far as I have at age 50 after using for 20 YEARS! Can you imagine 20 years of use embedded in your skull?

Old habits really do die hard, if you think it took you 1 week to change your entire lifestyle/friends/way of living in general, you either are the fastest moving person I''ve ever heard of, or didnt change as much as you needed to and thought you did (which is more likely the case considering you relapsed).

Again not trying to be a dick, simply trying to point out the holes in logic we addicts ALL POSSESS. We like to blame other shit for our failures and make crazy justifications and pin the onus on something else. "Oh its the subs fault" "Oh its NA's fault", yes we do lack control in certain aspects, but in others we are as in control as the average person. You know what I used to say? "Oh its this damn depressions fault! If i weren't so depressed all the time I wouldn't do opiates!" But never stopped to think, "hey, maybe im depressed because I fuck my brain up so badly every day WITH opiates"

 

[Misfit Chick]

Ive tried the quick detox on subs, ive tried long term maint.with sub, and methadone, ive tried cold turkey and inpatient rehabs, over the past 15 yrs or so, ive tried everything short of selling my soul to the devil to get clean..(funny, i would have sold my sucked out soul a million times for dope)...point being, i have done it all, therapy, ect.....im only going to get clean when i make up my mind to do it permantly, for good, finished, done.....i know that. So why cant i just do this? Im haunted by my own thoughts, i cant change the way i think....my brain is broken...i dont want to be on subs forever, i know its just another addiction, but in reality it keeps the boogie man out of there, i already fucked up, i have been on a lil bender, and her i sit, feeling bad for myself, beating myself up, family is pissed off, and im looking at this sub, deciding to take it or not
** just took sub...
I am really in a fucked up place...when i say that, i mean that in every way...i have more problems than i can deal with.
Im just at a point where, there is almost nothing i can do to fix any of it, ( im not trying to sound negitive) but when im told im worthless, i can look and say, yea, its true, im a selfish person that has used my family, lied, stole, left, did drugs infront of kids, sold drugs, been a part of the big problem, burnt all the blankets, lost eveything, been to jail a dozen times, been in the hospital, worried family, lost car, licence, house, living with mom, not working,..(this just scratches the surface on how big the problem is)

***also, this is important, AND a mind blower....my 68 yr old mother is an addict and drug dealer also, and my 30 yr old brother, they both are in huge denial, use daily, sell, have druggies here, ect, ect,..now, they think im the peice of shit because its the needle that makes me a junkie, they want me clean, but i have to live like this with them, now its ok for them, because they have money, drug money, and havnt lost anything....
So, ok, ....take another deep breath,

Im just at the point where i have to except the circumstances im in, and im going to be stuck fighting this for a while, im gonna try staying on the sub as much as i can, until i can do something else to get out of the situation im in...

To take the sub long term, not to take the sub, to shoot it, take it sl, detox on it, .....it all boils down to the situation your in...which by the i just had To chase my high ass mom out of my room, and the fighting and threats continue, ...the situation is bad.
......and...now i have to get off.....the shit is hitting the fan.

 

[NYCDOSE]

You missed the point of my post entirely. Yeah, doing it my way WASN'T the way to go about it - that was my whole entire point of that post, I never said otherwise - and is WHY I RELAPSED. The whole point of me telling that story is because it's a perfect illustration of what happened when I took it for too long. What did I say about what happened when I had it done under medical supervision? Did you even read my whole post? Obviously not, because I'm pretty sure I said that I made it through the withdrawals with VERY little withdrawals or discomfort after doing a two week taper. I did fine in rehab. I did fine for a short while after rehab. My mistake was not finding something to replace the void that the drugs left, like going back to school right away or whatever, and hanging around people who were still using. You really need to go reread my post and understand the point I was trying to make... because you're arguing with me using my own argument. Which was this: that simply assuming or telling someone "You should be on Suboxone or Methadone for at least a year" is a mistake and can deter someone from getting clean, and that no one should do that UNLESS A DOCTOR DECIDES THEY NEED IT. I also said that Suboxone/Methadone CAN be used for a year or more, people can stay on it for their whole life if they need to, just that it's not recommended. If you can't understand why that is, then you need to do some research on Suboxone and Methadone. How does it make sense that you're telling me I'm wrong... by using an argument that basically repeats exactly what I said, word for word? I don't get it.

And FYI, since some people in here clearly don't know, the reason it's not recommended to simply decide "I need to be on Suboxone or Methadone for a year or more" right away is because that is replacing one addiction/drug dependency for another. There is no way around it. If you take Suboxone longer than a few weeks, you're already dependent on it. It doesn't take that long. Many people, and many threads in here, will attest to that. There are plenty of horror stories out there about Suboxone and Methadone withdrawal; look them up.

Are you really going to tell me that 2-3 weeks on Suboxone or Methadone isn't enough time to pick up some new hobbies and find a good outpatient program, NA meetings, counselling, other type of support system, start looking for a job, and get the ball rolling to get your life back on track? Because I wasn't aware that it took that long to ditch your old friends and find a new place to hang out. Maybe for people with social anxiety issues, sure. Or for people who really just can't stay clean, no matter what they do. Those are the types of people who are better of staying on Suboxone or Methadone for long periods of time. It does NOT take six months to a year to start getting your life together.

Seriously... are you REALLY telling me that the ONLY way a person can stay clean is by getting addicted to another type of opioid? Really? I can't even wrap my head around that lol you have to be kidding me right now. Let me tell you something about Suboxone, my dear. I have been down the "uneducated patient" road. I have taken Suboxone for the amount of time that you seem to thing is "mandatory"... longer, actually. 2 years to be exact. Want to know how long it took me to ditch my old habits and get back into the swing of things (i.e. get enrolled in school and pick up some new hobbies)? One week. That's it. And REBUILDING MY LIFE is what kept me from using for those two years, far more than the Suboxone did. What actually caused me to use again was the Suboxone. Both of my relapses have been because I was on Suboxone for far too long and couldn't stand the withdrawals (first time was under medical supervision, the second time wasn't.)

So yes, I do know what I'm talking about. I just really can't wrap my head around the fact that some people actually believe the ONLY way to get clean is by getting addicted to another drug that's in the same class of drugs that ruined their lives in the first place... I want to know where the logic in that is.

But hey, OP - if you want to hate your life again a year down the road and end up having the same exact problems you're having now - only it will be legal because a doctor is prescribing the drug to you instead of a drug dealer - be my guest and listen to DooMMooD. After being on it for that long, I can guarantee you that getting off of it will be no easier than getting off of dope. Except instead of five days of withdrawal, you'll have a few weeks of it to look forward to. And if you're lucky, you won't end up like I did the first time around, when I was uneducated about how addictive a drug it is and simply listened to everything my doctor said. I ended up losing my job and dropping out of school because of that shit - after a year of taking it I started getting so unmotivated and depressed about everything. After many attempts at getting through the Sub withdrawals and failing, I felt so hopeless about my addiction that I quite literally gave up on life altogether. Suboxone ruined my life in all aspects - financially, physically, emotionally, spiritually - far more than heroin or any other opiate did. Fuck, I wouldn't even BE a junkie right now if it weren't for Suboxone. I only went on it because I thought that the hydrocodone withdrawals were unbearable (LOL... that is such a joke to me now) and I went and cried to my doctor about it on, like, the third day of withdrawals... not even knowing that if I had just held on for a day or two longer, I would have been good to go and I wouldn't still be caught up in this nightmare.

The first time I tried IV heroin was partly because I was kicking from Suboxone, and it was offered to me, and out of desperation, I said yes. I'm not saying Suboxone is to blame entirely. It was a stupid mistake and a stupid decision on my part. But I never would have done it had the withdrawals not been so bad. The thought of using dope never even crossed my mind when I was kicking hydros. Suboxone isn't something to fuck around with. Seriously, PLEASE do your research before you make any decisions. There are plenty of horror stories similar to mine out there, some worse, some not as bad, but believe me... they're out there.

Just a side note: I know more people who have kicked heroin successfully than people who have kicked a long-term Suboxone dependency/addiction successfully. The evidence of this is all over the internet too. Seriously, just go to any Suboxone website out there. I used to visit those sites every one of the million times I was about to try kicking again, looking for any advice or suggestions or ray of hope. You're going to be very discouraged by what you see, just like I was. Just saying.

And if you do decide to listen to DooM, and blindly listen to what a doctor tells you to do without doing your own research first, and you end up going on Suboxone and staying on it... I'd love for you to report back here in a year and let us know how your brand new addiction is going

I'm not attacking you btw, OP. I'm just a little pissed off that there are people on this earth who genuinely believe the only way to get clean is by replacing one addiction with another one, and who believe you should never do your own research and simply do what your doctor tells you... since your doctor knows your addiction and your mindset and your goals in life better than you do...

Anyone else wants to talk about this, feel free to PM me. I need to leave this thread before my head explodes from reading too much ignorance.

Wow You are really not getting the point!

The argument your making isnt valid because what the other guy was saying about subs was that as if you hit the lotto you can use subs to find stability in your life if you have insurance.. cause your not freaking out thinking how to get the next bun to stay well.. it?s that simple.. you taking subs for hydrocodone damn that was stupid as hell and I feel sorry for you for that ..but if you would have took like 2 strips and split them up you woulda been in the clear ..instead you went on maintanance and sold your soul to big pharma.. thats ruff.. anyway the best way to get off you DOC is to use a variety of other potent drugs/medicines for a very short time through detox and then fill that void and underlying issue .. buy a bike become and emt , make new friends ..volunteer or intern try school or even watch mad Netflix!

Try promethazine
Benadryl
Xans
Ativan
Remeron
And Imodium and go watch a couple seasons of ?ozark? on Netflix and you can get clean as long as you have the will power to only use that cocktail to get through detox and not form new bad habits!