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Horrible devastating DMT trip

webbykevin said:
Brilliant, you are not alone in this universe brother, I know that reality you speak of.

I have no advice to offer, I haven't fully worked it out yet, It's one of those things that huants the back of ones mind, the absolute lonliness possibility. All I can offer is it nod my head in your direction, tip my hat to you as a fellow psychonaught across hyperspace and say good on you for having the courage to make the investigation, the universe is a fucking whacky place, i'm kind of placing my metaphysical hopes and bets on it all being a divine comedy, that the zen masters are right, that in the end all that's left is laughter.

That thought gives me hope, and hope is a rare and special commodity to have.

peace
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Ah Webbykevin, i absolutely love how you put that hahaha "a fellow psychonaught across hyperspace" I TOTALLY AGREE!!! As he said, your not alone man! I've been in what sounds like the exact same state of mind before.

Hahaha reminds me a a funny experience i had once. I had a pretty fuckin intense outer-body experience once in my buddies car. I heard sirens driving all around (probably cause it was new years and there's people out there gettin drunk and getting hurt) and i actually thought i was in the back of an ambulance and i had my eyes closed. My buddy was talking to me the entire car ride because right before i left this reality, i asked him to be my "spirit guide on this trip" and so he did. So during this, I thought I was in the ambulance with my eyes closed and him talkin to me, tryin to guide me in the most positive path hahaha. When i came too, it felt like there was a missing gap and because i was still fucked up a lil bit i thought i had actually died and this was all in my head, like i possibly went into a coma. I told him the next afternoon that i had thought i dided, and my buddy being an asshole, said "this is in your mind right now, thats why everything is going the way you seem to want it to go right now". Hahaha yea that fucked me up for a few hours.

You'll be fine brother. Its actually intesting to see someone out there pondering the same questions i did that one time. If anything it proves our shared existance in this reality, that both of us can ponder the same question in the same reality. So please feel safe and secure, you are far from alone!!!
 
i just had some dmt a couple of hours ago and i think i have figured it all out (lol)

we are all an eternal, uncreated, infinite god made out of and infinite number of beings each one is a part of some other: an interwoven fractal of existence

we forget our true nature, dividing our consciousness an infinite number of times, to scape our cosmic loneliness and play this game we know as life, under the delusion of being a separate entity
 
I can kinda sympathise with you on this. I've had experiences like this on mild drugs. I had a terrifying trip on MDMA where I completely convinced myself that everyone I was with wasn't real, and that I had gone insane and my friends were all made up. I fucked my mind over for a good while, and whenever I would slightly intoxicate myself, say on weed or alcohol, I'd feel like I was falling back into that dark trip again. Had it again at the weekend while on ketamine, I began thinking of suicide to escape this horrid feeling of being the only real thing ever.
 
cosmic._.ape said:
i just had some dmt a couple of hours ago and i think i have figured it all out (lol)

we are all an eternal, uncreated, infinite god made out of and infinite number of beings each one is a part of some other: an interwoven fractal of existence

we forget our true nature, dividing our consciousness an infinite number of times, to scape our cosmic loneliness and play this game we know as life, under the delusion of being a separate entity
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Isnt it great! I can understand how some people find this distressing.. because you essentially realize theirs no point to life, apart from what you give it. Which can be scarey because suddenly the responsibility is in your hands, your no longer a passenger on the ride.. your the one in control steering it. You always were but now your aware of it; so it becomes difficult to play the ignorance card and just drift through life and wait for meaning and purpose to come to you because you know it doesn't exist unless you allow it.

=D
 
^ Wow I'm pretty sure you just perfectly worded everything I've been trying to come to terms with since I last smoked DMT. Sort of.

Doesn't matter, I found that very insightful. Good post.
 
TangerinO said:
Funny you should mention this, I had a friend who just recently tried it late at night in a couch watching rage (Don't ask me why)

Well as soon as he tokes, on comes the nasty death metal. Bad luck?

In the meantime OP, enjoy this piece of beautiful writing by Alan Watts.

“God likes to play hide-and-seek, but because there is nothing outside God, he has no one but himself to play with.
But he gets over this difficulty by pretending that he is not himself. This is his way of hiding from himself.
He pretends that he is you and I and all the people in the world, all the animals, all the plants, all the rocks, and all the stars.
In this way he has strange and wonderful adventures, some of which are terrible and frightening.
But these are just like bad dreams, for when he wakes up they will disappear.

Now when God plays hide and seek and pretends that he is you and I, he does it so well that it takes him a long
time to remember where and how he hid himself. But that's the whole fun of it – just what he wanted to do.
He doesn't want to find himself too quickly, for that would spoil the game.
That is why it is so difficult for you and me to find out that we are God in disguise, pretending not to be himself.

But when the game has gone on long enough, all of us will wake up, stop pretending, and remember that we are all
one single Self – the God who is all that there is and who lives for ever and ever.”

- Alan Watts.
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Sorry to bring this thread back but my god that is a fucking great quote! Thank you very much.

Also for the record I'm completely fine now and it hasn't had any lasting negative effects, though I'd be lieing if I didn't say it wasn't still faintly in the back of my mind.
I'm seeing it in a much more positive light now though with a lot of thanks to the incredible string band songs ironically, here's a lyric by them that sums it all up "One light, Light that is one though the lamps be many".
 
didier.johnson said:
Sorry to bring this thread back but my god that is a fucking great quote! Thank you very much.

Also for the record I'm completely fine now and it hasn't had any lasting negative effects, though I'd be lieing if I didn't say it wasn't still faintly in the back of my mind.
I'm seeing it in a much more positive light now though with a lot of thanks to the incredible string band songs ironically, here's a lyric by them that sums it all up "One light, Light that is one though the lamps be many".
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Very glad to hear it and glad to know someone out there is still enjoying the Incredible String Band.

"One 'I' through many eyes...."

;)
 
sockpuppet said:
Very glad to hear it and glad to know someone out there is still enjoying the Incredible String Band.

"One 'I' through many eyes...."

;)
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Yeah they have been the spiritual guidance to my life in the last year or so, but really they are me and I'm guiding myself. Even the said experience was for spiritual progression, although it was negative it needed to be.

I can actually look back at my experience and see it as truly positive, I think because of the instant and total loss of ego and then the sharp return back to reality clouded my judgement, made me panic and thus made me see it in a negative light.
I have had the same experiences on high doses of LSD and again when it first sets in it can be quite negative but due to the slower onset and longer duration it allows me to see it for the true beautiful blessing it is, I just thing the power and speed just well and truly shocked me at the time.
 
didier.johnson said:
Yeah they have been the spiritual guidance to my life in the last year or so, but really they are me and I'm guiding myself. Even the said experience was for spiritual progression, although it was negative it needed to be.

I can actually look back at my experience and see it as truly positive, I think because of the instant and total loss of ego and then the sharp return back to reality clouded my judgement, made me panic and thus made me see it in a negative light.
I have had the same experiences on high doses of LSD and again when it first sets in it can be quite negative but due to the slower onset and longer duration it allows me to see it for the true beautiful blessing it is, I just thing the power and speed just well and truly shocked me at the time.
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Vaporized spice can simply be confusing and overwhelming - partly the rapid onset and partly it's a tryptamine thing I think. But DMT has been bending even very experienced heads by surprise for a solid 50 years so you shouldn't feel it's you....

It sounds like you're doing great - just don't follow the ISB spiritual path to L. Ron Hubbard! ;)
 
Your words reminded me of one of my most recent trips with a 100mg+ dose of 4 ACO DMT but slightly more gentle than what you described, i experienced total ego loss along with this overwhelming sensation that my mind/soul was connected to the whole universe and that my whole life hadnt been real and i felt as though i was about to spend all of eternity in this state, i honestly thought i was dying at this point but i had no fear at all due to all emotions being pretty much meaningless.

Ive never tried DMT but this was one of the most powerful and spiritual trips ive ever had.
 
Yeah I was literally reading about their dabble in scientology 2 days ago, I kinda felt sorry for them by the way the got sucked in to it, and was confused by how such wise men could get involved in it but I guess back then they didn't have the internet to expose it's ridiculous bs. At least their both no longer members, though Robin said it actually helped him a lot with his philosophy.
 
didier.johnson said:
Yeah I was literally reading about their dabble in scientology 2 days ago, I kinda felt sorry for them by the way the got sucked in to it, and was confused by how such wise men could get involved in it but I guess back then they didn't have the internet to expose it's ridiculous bs. At least their both no longer members, though Robin said it actually helped him a lot with his philosophy.
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Yeah everything was totally different back then and very few people knew how wacky Scientology was from the outside looking in. Plus by the standards of the day Scientology didn't contrast as much with all the other interesting belief systems and tribes of the era. Burroughs and many other smart folks were sucked in for awhile....

Hubbard is fascinating though and pops up a lot as a parallel storyline to the CIA's L era insanity - hopefully we'll start to learn more soon as it all looks set to start unraveling......

Gotta go put on The 5000 Spirits or the Layers of the Onion......:)
 
sockpuppet said:
Yeah everything was totally different back then and very few people knew how wacky Scientology was from the outside looking in. Plus by the standards of the day Scientology didn't contrast as much with all the other interesting belief systems and tribes of the era. Burroughs and many other smart folks were sucked in for awhile....

Hubbard is fascinating though and pops up a lot as a parallel storyline to the CIA's L era insanity - hopefully we'll start to learn more soon as it all looks set to start unraveling......

Gotta go put on The 5000 Spirits or the Layers of the Onion......:)
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Haha definitely! I just came off a t break today and that was the album I listened to, I've listened to it a thousand times I don't think I could ever get tired of it.
 
motiv311 said:
Well what you experienced is actually reality as many of us from the Nexus have discussed.

I found this site... www.wedietorememberwhatwelivetoforget.com

From a Nexus member who discovered this secret- as many of us have - on psychedelics.

We really are God.... each and everyone ... trying to hide from "itself" or himself.

You live over and over again and never remember it because you'd rather forget and play than face the simple truth... You are God, you are alone; and until you learn to accept yourself fully you will never exist outside this fantasy.

But its ok , because I am God to, and we are the same.
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That was the greatest thing I have ever read FACT thanks for sharing that literally has changed my life. Never have I felt a stronger connection to another human being than I have the author of this if you know him I would tremendously appreciate you putting me in to contact with him.
Also anyone who has had similar experiences in this thread ought to read this, it is simply brilliant.
 
didier.johnson said:
That was the greatest thing I have ever read FACT thanks for sharing that literally has changed my life. Never have I felt a stronger connection to another human being than I have the author of this if you know him I would tremendously appreciate you putting me in to contact with him.
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He has an account on bluelight, I'm not sure if he's still active; but here's the thread he created:

http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/601028-Ego-Death-A-Paper?
 
malakaix said:
isnt it great! I can understand how some people find this distressing.. Because you essentially realize theirs no point to life, apart from what you give it. Which can be scarey because suddenly the responsibility is in your hands, your no longer a passenger on the ride.. Your the one in control steering it. You always were but now your aware of it; so it becomes difficult to play the ignorance card and just drift through life and wait for meaning and purpose to come to you because you know it doesn't exist unless you allow it.

=d
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brilliantly put.
 
This has been a great thread. So many excellent quotes and recommended readings. I have struggled with the OP's fear of being completely alone in the universe for sometime. As a young child i remember being completely overwhelmed contemplaiting that my consciousness was all that truely existed in the world.

As i grew older growing responsibilities and just plain time lead me to believe my younger fears were simply the result of an overactive ego. Convinced only an overly selfish person could believe they alone were the universe, I basically abandoned this realm of thinking. It was only after a particularily strong mushroom trip during the lagging hours of the peak did i become aware of this "fear" once again. It can be overwhelming and truely saddening. Believing my life's love was simply an extension of me was disappointing to say the least. I believe mushroom trips are quite good at bringing the fear of isolation about.
 
didier I hope you are doing better just wanted to let you know that demon possession is real and that what you describe sounds as if that is what happened. Drugs open the gate for spirits to enter into you. I would recommend that you pray and ask Jesus to help you and deliver you. The bible speaks of demon possession. You yourself mentioned that you saw this spirit enter you and that you feel you may be possessed, I am just confirming that what you feel and think is correct. You can make the choice what you want to do but The spirit of Jesus is greater than any other spirit so surrender your life to The Lord Jesus Christ and ask Him to forgive you for everything wrong you have ever done and to be in control over your life and that negative spirit will have to leave you. I know a lot of people may disagree with me but if you are still going through this depression and want deliverance don't worry about whether or not it sounds crazy just do it with all of your heart and see what happens. Will be praying for you. Also here is a link to describe what I was talking about. Not trying to be preachy, we all have free will to choose for ourselves so anyone who chooses to disagree, that is your right.

check this out: http://youtu.be/VXWHJ7a-PY0
 
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