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How I quit drugs and what I do to stay off.

thegent

Greenlighter
Joined
Sep 14, 2008
Messages
48
I'm in my mid twenties, I've made a lot of money in my life, then I lost a lot of money. I've been through a lot, but we all have. I used to think money was everything, and that's probably because that's how society has trained us. Once I made it, I was still unhappy. I was patching up my unhappiness with opiates, weed, Xanax, GHB, and cocaine. I realized that the drugs weren't good for me, so I would stop, travel around the world, be clean, and come back home to be a drug addict again. It didn't help that my brother and my mother abused drugs as well.

"Why am I doing this?" I asked myself. "Because, I'm escaping....Well, why the fuck do I need to escape?" It made me realize that we don't do drugs because we like to do them. We do it to tolerate our unhappiness in life; the unhappiness of not fulfilling our purpose. I was on a see saw for a long time going back and forth coming on and off of drugs, but the REASON why I was doing drugs never changed which is why it always led back to it. I now dedicate my life to fulfilling my purpose and having faith in what I do; no amount of money will make me happy, all I want to do is be with people and help them. That's my purpose. I am here for all of you, this is the fuel that keeps me going in life and keeps me off of drugs. My occupation served no one but me before, and the life I previously lead required me to be rather private, which goes against my purpose. I can honestly say that I would rather be poor and happy; where as before with my ego it was "get rich or die trying." Wow.

I want to go a little bit into the background about just how much we escape, because I think the awareness is the foundation of recovery: So, what's the first drug we're introduced to in our lives?

Cigarettes...Alcohol....Advil?

Nope.

Try Television. Yes, TV. Why do I say this? Because it is the first form of escape that a lot of us experience, yet we don't realize it. You have to do homework? Screw it, turn on the tube and zone out. This started a pattern in our lives of not facing the music, and we later mimic that pattern with drugs. Now the computer is a huge form of escape. Just be aware, when you turn on the TV, take drugs, go on your computer, just say to yourself "I am consciously zoning out, I am aware of my actions." Doing this has been crucial. We do drugs because we don't want do do/face something else. That is all a drug does.

Now that I'm off of drugs, how do I fight the cravings?

I meditate, and I try to do it at least 3x a day. The Muslims were on to something with their frequency of prayer, and it's now that I understand that. Human beings have VERY short memories/attention span, it's just how we're designed. There are so many distractions out there that we forget what is important and we constantly need to remind ourselves. By prayer/meditation I can ground myself and I literally feel high after each prayer. I'm not some religious nut job, I don't follow any religion, but I do believe in God and I know that "grounding" myself works because it reminds me of my greater purpose in life as well as the beauty in it.

Another thing is to exercise! We were meant to hike twenty miles a day and hunt for the saber tooth tiger, so get off your ass and sweat! This along with eating healthy will start to make you feel great.

Being clean takes discipline. It's not easy but life is not supposed to be easy. This is just another test that we face in our lives to make us stronger as people. We will always be "addicts" but that is a GREAT THING because now if we stray from our routine the suffering we face is not going to be subtle and we're aware of that. Stick to the plan and look at this as a blessing. Once you find your purpose and stick to a routine you will feel like your body is a feather powered by a rocket. I'm sorry guys, I'm not the best writer in the world, I haven't really written anything too extensive in about 8 years, so I know my thoughts are scattered, but I will work on it.
 
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Nice contribution. Glad to hear that someone else is moving up. Don't be fooled though.

Some things to keep in mind:
*Drugs are not the problem and neither is TV nor computers.
*The Muslims weren't the first humans to start meditating (avoid the religious wack-job schtick. There is no reason to bring it up if you are not).
*You might be doing better, but how about your mother and brother?

Food for thought.
 
-I definitely don't think drugs are the problem, I think the problem is when one is not fulfilling his/her purpose they will be unhappy, thus looking for an escape.
-The reason I mention Muslims is because they pray 3-5x a day, it's the only religion that I know of that does it at that frequency, and I used to question it before, but now I understand. This is definitely not about religion, but the power of meditation and the necessity of doing it frequently, imo.
-My mother and brother are still drug addicts. You cannot help others, only yourself. I nearly killed myself trying to help them, but then again I could barely change myself, so how could I change another persons life? Everyone has to go through it at his/her own pace. My addiction was a blessing because I saw it as that. In order to recover I had to dig deep spiritually and put in what was required to recover, and I could only do that myself. The only thing that I can hope to do is be a beacon of what is possible to them, and if they decide to wake up then I am there for them, but they have to reach out first.
 
Thanks so much for sharing that with us thegent <3
You are extremely switched-on and concise for someone in their mid-teens. Hopefully you can continue to channel that intelligence of yours in to this new direction of self-improvement :)
 
Thanks so much for sharing that with us thegent <3
You are extremely switched-on and concise for someone in their mid-teens. Hopefully you can continue to channel that intelligence of yours in to this new direction of self-improvement :)
Thank you for the love n3ophy7e! I went to my first NA meeting today as well. I feel grateful to have waken up from where I was and if I can share just 1% of that experience with one other soul in my life time I feel complete.

I had a very strong visualization that I think helped me tremendously: Imagine yourself in a room, it is bare, with nothing but a chair in the middle and you. You are surrounded by temptation, it is everywhere, now go to the wall, and rip off the wall paper, you see that you can rip it off easily and there is another color underneath it. Rip every bit of the wall paper off, each wall, the ceiling, even the floor. Now crumple it up as small as you can, push it all together! And now push it into a corner, and even use your feet to press it into the corner and squish it in the side there, beat it down! You have control of this, the power is there and you are the boss of it. Whenever I feel temptation now I visualize the room, and I used to feel so vulnerable, because it was everywhere, now I mentally just go step on the paper in the corner of the room a few times to keep it flat and move on.

This addiction is a part of my life and it is a blessing. I love the side of me that is an addict because it has made me a stronger person. I feel no shame, because I know MOST human beings are addicts, my escape happened to be narcotics, but for other people it may be other things. Now I am aware of all of these escapes and I feel life again. It would have never felt like this if I didn't go to the other extreme, which is why I am grateful. I look at this as an opportunity and I see that I had to go off my path only to learn to really stay on it. My path never had "guard rails", some people maybe have some made of velvet rope, but with where I am now the guard rails are made of one foot thick concrete.

Much love to you all, I really would not be at this point in my life if it wasn't for an accumulation of a lot of things, including this message board!
 
This addiction is a part of my life and it is a blessing. I love the side of me that is an addict because it has made me a stronger person. I feel no shame, because I know MOST human beings are addicts, my escape happened to be narcotics, but for other people it may be other things. Now I am aware of all of these escapes and I feel life again. It would have never felt like this if I didn't go to the other extreme, which is why I am grateful. I look at this as an opportunity and I see that I had to go off my path only to learn to really stay on it. My path never had "guard rails", some people maybe have some made of velvet rope, but with where I am now the guard rails are made of one foot thick concrete.

I really love this. We never ask for tragedy and hardship in our lives but they are certainly our best teachers. I think it is<3 awesome that you are so young and can recognize this. Your sense of gratitude and connection to life are apparent in everything you write.
 
I had a very strong visualization that I think helped me tremendously: Imagine yourself in a room, it is bare, with nothing but a chair in the middle and you. You are surrounded by temptation, it is everywhere, now go to the wall, and rip off the wall paper, you see that you can rip it off easily and there is another color underneath it. Rip every bit of the wall paper off, each wall, the ceiling, even the floor. Now crumple it up as small as you can, push it all together! And now push it into a corner, and even use your feet to press it into the corner and squish it in the side there, beat it down! You have control of this, the power is there and you are the boss of it. Whenever I feel temptation now I visualize the room, and I used to feel so vulnerable, because it was everywhere, now I mentally just go step on the paper in the corner of the room a few times to keep it flat and move on.
This really appeals to me. I'm just really starting to feel the benefit of visualising stuff, and I think this could help me a lot with my addiction too. I will add it to my collection of visualisation methods. Thank you thegent :)
 
OMG, I just realized that I wrote mid teens instead of mid twenties, I edited the post, I'm not that young, LOL!!
 
lol
I had my doubts

If you were in your mid-teens you would be taking over the world.

..Not that you still can't. Join the club. :\
 
OMG, I just realized that I wrote mid teens instead of mid twenties, I edited the post, I'm not that young, LOL!!
Ahhh I seeeeee!!!! That makes a little more sense :D
Still, you're cool either way :)
 
Man good for you ! How long have you been clean btw ? Sorry if i missed it in the post

Nice contribution. Glad to hear that someone else is moving up. Don't be fooled though.

Some things to keep in mind:
*The Muslims weren't the first humans to start meditating (avoid the religious wack-job schtick. There is no reason to bring it up if you are not).


Food for thought.

It's actually good for people who are against/not for religion to hear; a lot of people think "religion" and "meditation" go hand in hand, when in fact they do not (always). Yea he could have phrased it better, but it's actually a good contribution .
 
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Man good for you ! How long have you been clean btw ? Sorry if i missed it in the post



It's actually good for people who are against/not for religion to hear; a lot of people think "religion" and "meditation" go hand in hand, when in fact they do not (always). Yea he could have phrased it better, but it's actually a good contribution .

I've been clean for ten days now. What's weird is I seemed to have picked up a biphasic sleep pattern where I only sleep in 2-3 hour intervals twice a day. My body feels incredibly recharged when I wake up and my skin feels tight. There are definitely a lot of times when I feel stiff or feel pain in my body, but then I'll just start repeating mantras like "The pain is good for me," "This is to make me stronger," "The pain in my body is a material test for my mind," "God has given me strength, I can move" And I'll literally repeat each phrase about ten to twenty times and move on to the next one. I actually held a conversation with myself yesterday for over an hour which I've never done before, but it inspired me to get up and go to my first NA meeting. I truly feel present and this is where I know I should be.

This whole "process" is not about recovering from "drug addiction", but more "escape addiction". Feel the moment, smell the roses, listen to the birds chirp, and actually listen to what your body and mind are saying. Just be.
 
This whole "process" is not about recovering from "drug addiction", but more "escape addiction". Feel the moment, smell the roses, listen to the birds chirp, and actually listen to what your body and mind are saying. Just be.

Pretty much. I'd go even farther to say it's about addiction to anything period. I for one will always be addicted to certain things, but not drugs. :D
 
your totally right about addiction > unfulfilled goals. unfortunately in my case, the addiction not only numbs the pain, it also helps creatively towards the fulfillment of my dreams.. of course I could do it without them, but has any one else had the feeling that the drugs bring you SO MUCH closer to your emotions? there's an unbelievable level of self-awareness that makes me actually enjoy crying and being depressed, if that mmakes any sense :\
 
your totally right about addiction > unfulfilled goals. unfortunately in my case, the addiction not only numbs the pain, it also helps creatively towards the fulfillment of my dreams.. of course I could do it without them, but has any one else had the feeling that the drugs bring you SO MUCH closer to your emotions? there's an unbelievable level of self-awareness that makes me actually enjoy crying and being depressed, if that mmakes any sense :\

Bro, I do definitely understand you on some levels. I used to do blow all night with my friend and we'd have these deep intense conversations about God, or I'd roll with a chick and have a deep loving emotional bond. But the thing is I truly believe we can achieve a lot of these feelings naturally. I noticed that after I have a great conversation with someone my brain starts running like I'm on Adderall, and I even feel the loss of appetite that I would feel from Adderall as well! The thing that is awesome is that I'm able to sustain these feelings more. With drugs there are just so many swings that it sucks. Instead I now notice myself walking down the street with my back straight, chin up, and I can't stop smiling. I get so excited in the middle of conversations now that I literally start punching and kicking the air!

I can tell you I didn't do that when I was always coming up and going down off of something. And another thing that sucks about drugs is the feeling I'd get was not consistent. Sometimes I would do it and feel on top of the world, but more often I'd feel anxiety or just "normal". The ecstatic feeling might come only 10% of the time that I'd use, if even.

How many people do you know that have said, "God, if only I stuck to using drugs I would have gone so much further in life." Probably not many. I thought it would help me get things done but I can honestly tell you right now the opportunities have POURED in the last few days, people can feel the real me now because I'm actually being myself, and I have the consistency in my moods to follow through with people. I feel connected to my soul and purpose and that is a high that I would not trade for anything.
 
I feel connected to my soul and purpose and that is a high that I would not trade for anything.

That feeling is the most powerful feeling ever. Our cultures do so much to disconnect us from our souls early on in life. To me, creating purpose is my connection. That purpose changes throughout life. Or maybe a better way to put it is that the purpose expresses itself in wildly different ways. It is a very solid place to stand.<3
 
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