feeling very awkward/very shy... any tips?

[BattleForMiddleYou]

Hello all, I'm new here so please be gentle....
my query isn't entirely drug related but could perhaps be solved via medication moreover it is likely someone on here could have potentially vital information, so here goes..

the gist of the situation is that I'm an extremely shy/awkward individual/find it impossible to be myself around others etc.......but a while back I tried mdma which obviously completely eradicates all of the above for as long as I can stay awake. before mdma I hadn't even realised the extent of my shyness and tended to accept that there was nothing to be done about it.................until now?

is there any medication/advice/information/people who have been through the same thing???

it would be delightful to have this burden lifted so please enlighten me

fanx

 

[humblegro]

I would try to experience people more in different arenas. Get out there, fuck the world!! I am not shy by nature, but my girlfriend is. It is crazy. I know it may be hard to understand, but i respect straight people who carry no malice towards dudes like me. Maybe you jus need to be the sober guy around some fucked up cats. Do what works for you, fuck people. I don't think you have medical need for any pills or any of that. It is mostly in your head, I don't care what you think! LOL!

 

[euphoria]

Do you find it less uncomfortable to be in a large group of people, with 3-5 people, or with just one other person?

Depending on this, there are so many options of ways to make friends and get to know people better. I think the more comfortable you feel around people in general the less shy you will become. You don't need to rely on drugs to do this, because then you'll never learn how to do it sober.

I am a naturally introverted person myself, and I have to reallllly force myself to talk to people throughout the day or else I end up just talking to myself You could start by just trying to greet every person you come across... whether that be the grocery cashier, a neighbor you see in the morning, people on the bus, etc. You don't have to strike up a conversation. Just start by saying Hello or Good Morning and a smile. The more you do this, the more comfortable you will feel. Then you can try making small talk. Don't get discouraged if you're not instantly social... it takes awhile to make such a big change in your life. But it's definitely possible, even without mdma

 

[Coraline]

Ok. I went through the same thing when I was 16-20 yrs old. I would not leave the house. I had huge panic/ anxiety attacks that would last for hours. I knew I was dying. I isolated my self and still had these attacks. It did not help my ex was selling drugs either. Then I was paranoid about cops pulling me over. Which they did frequently. But the rule of thumb is only do one illegal thing at a time. If sell don't drive and carry. So I was good on that part. I was tired of being like this so I got a job at Walmart. That was the most public place. I worked through a couple of panic attacks. I hid them well. I cured my self by putting myself in public. I was the talk of the town to begin with. That part was not imaginary. I was the girl who everyone called a whore, ugly, dirty ect. I was not. I was gorgeous. A virgin( until I met the right boy or so I thought haha), and smart. I refused to let people control my life. I had the I don't care attitude. And now I am very social, a people pleaser and successful. I still have some problem eating in restaurants but that stems from the feeling of being trapped. My drug dealing ex made me feel that way. But I managed that too. I worked as a waitress for years. So that part is lingering but under control. This is what worked for me. I hope it helps. I know what it feels like and it awful to feel like a outsider looking in, being in a crowded room but all alone. It does get better just push yourself and talk about it to the right people. Pm me if you need support.

 

[Samadhi]

Hello all, I'm new here so please be gentle....
my query isn't entirely drug related but could perhaps be solved via medication moreover it is likely someone on here could have potentially vital information, so here goes..

the gist of the situation is that I'm an extremely shy/awkward individual/find it impossible to be myself around others etc.......but a while back I tried mdma which obviously completely eradicates all of the above for as long as I can stay awake. before mdma I hadn't even realised the extent of my shyness and tended to accept that there was nothing to be done about it.................until now?

is there any medication/advice/information/people who have been through the same thing???

it would be delightful to have this burden lifted so please enlighten me

fanx

Do you have any hobbies? I know it sounds lame, but joining a group can be great for bringing yourself out of your shell; I love photography and have recently joined a photography group in my city - i've met a number of really cool people, and there an easy conversation starter, something we all have in common- photography! I've only just joined, but i know that they have coffee/lunch occasionally and field trips together.

 

[Perpetual Indulgence]

Did you fell "normal" on MDMA? Personally, if I have any negative feelings before taking that drug I tend to focus on it and dissect it. On the upside, it allowed me to express myself with others and really figure it out. If you haven't been to therapy, I recommend it before medication or as an adjunct to it.

I tend to force myself out into the world when I am becoming introverted. I like people but I don't like people...if that makes sense. I think it is important to try new activities that interest me. I entered a trail marathon recently figuring I would meet people I could run with as I currently do this alone. I am joining a Crossfit gym to meet new people of like minds who are into positive change. I planned a vacation and invited friends to join me....I got lucky and got 4 others but I would have gone alone.

 

[thujone]

the irony is a thread like this commands the polar opposite personality to respond. I think joining a group revolving around some kind of common interest is also probably the quick-fix solution but it might not help you in the long term since interests (and people) do change every few years.

being shy is usually the result of self-esteem issues, so imho a healthy way to start treating the problem would be to catalogue what you like about yourself and what you hate about yourself, then work at amplifying the positives, changing what negatives you can, and learning to not give a fuck about the negatives you can't do shit about.

 

[ebola?]

Here is the gist of cognitive behavioral techniques:

Put yourself in situations that make you feel pretty uncomfortable (quite anxious, but not to the point of inducing a panic attack). Note to yourself beforehand how anxious you expect to feel. Note during and after how you feel and felt during the situation, and how it compares to what you expected. Note that the anxiety you experienced was quite a bit less than you expected to (nearly invariably, it this will be true). Continue, but with increasingly challenging situations.

Staying at home rather than engaging socially can be highly reinforcing, as you eliminate the source of the anxiety. You need to break this cycle of maladaptive 'learning'.

If you have health insurance, a psychologist can coach you on how to do this successfully. However, if you don't, you can undertake this yourself. It's a lot of work, and a bit scary, but it can be done.

ebola