need help with adderall to get the most help from it with diagnosis of major depressi
Hello, I have been diagnosed as first being bi polar II which is mainly periods of dark depression having very small number of manic episodes. So while I am on this list of meds for possible bi polar II are, Lamictal 200mg/daily, Fetzima 80mg/daily, Adderall 60mg/daily, along with Xanax 2mg/4 pills a day. That is my morning meds. My nighttime cocktails at night for psych issues include: Lamictal, Xanax, Ambien CR, and Seroquel 300mg XR. I also suffer from chronic migraines, 15 at least monthly and for prevention of amount of migraines include these meds taken daily: Propranolol 200mg/twice daily, Zanaflex 4mg/nightly. The remainder of my meds are taken as needed for all the migraine attacks which are: Imitrex Injections 6mg/0.6ml, Phenergan 25 mg/up to 4 doses each day of the attack, and very newly am on Spinx nasal spray which is God awful and this is coming from myself that had sinus surgery twice due the way too many polops thru every part of my sinus and have sleep apnea, and also for migraines is Cambia liquid meds. Also since I have done permanent damage since I began meds after getting my first migraine at 12 and 6 months later my first of at least 10 in-patient stays at every psych ward in our state, and those times were only when I was found and "saved" which sucks but while my main reason and question especially as far as my Adderall script is that I have been on them for almost 3 months and do not any ADD/ADHD issues, I "need" them to just get by with an ounce of energy during my long as$ days. It is an insane cocktail of pretty much uppers & downers but now I have been on one anti-depressant known to man, I tried the Fetzima(very new med) and at the highest dose of 80mg and praying it may help, I have just started yet ANOTHER every three month treatment of 31 botox injections which could take the 4 treatments equaling a year, and just in case I forgot some details about myself, I just turned 40 and a female, married for almost 20 years, and an amazing 11 year old daughter, and I have been on state disability, only $1100 a month, for the last 7 years. And while I have always been very petite when I was pregnant with my daughter and had her in August 2003, I did gain a good amount of wait being petite before, my highest weight was 165 pounds. For the first 3-4 years many people including my own father and friends would try to say it kindly, but to tell someone that you look like a different person and not an improvement, and your bra size goes from(my experience) having nicely big C cup bras in 34 inches to after the weight gain went up to a 36 DDD. And not in an attractive weight. Thank-God I did still keep my small size outfits as an incentive to lose weight and this was when I could just order a size 0 or size 2 pants from any catalog and fit great. I gained enough weight that even my shoe size was much larger. People always think that if they say only AFTER you lose a ton of weight, that boy I needed to but it was hard to tell me to my face. But those compliments drove me into an eating disorder, and in 4 months I lost 50 pounds without ever exercising and didn't need to change my diet because I no longer ate anything besides a small glass of juice sipped during the day and one small pack of the two saltine crackers. And the same people who told me I had to lose weight badly but had no clue how I did at first would almost go overboard with the sweet and even astonishment of how great I was looking. But 20 ponds lighter all these people who now say in the same way they broke it to me that I was overweight were now saying I was now TOO thin to the point that every part of me was all bones, no boobs or butt, and shoe sizes 2 small. That was why I did keep my "skinny" wardrobe because its like buying a new wardrobe just now they look new since I was heavy for that time. I even broke my left femur after walking across a very small room that wasn't wet or slippery, or I was running and fell into any object..it was two small steps that I slipped and broke the strongest bone in our bodies. No one in that ER believed that was what happened but after seeing all the most recent doctor files and the times they had me come in weekly to be weighed at their offices, put together that the physical damage of starving myself from any food, vitamin, water,calcium, you name it at 37 years old I have osteopedia, 20 % permanent disability in that leg and scars up from my upper hip joint to the bottom of the knee joint. So finally to wrap this up and really get to my question about the Adderall, is that the fact it all but gives me NO appetite for days and days and then keeps me all over the place, its not doing positive and healthy energy, instead I can lose 3 hours that felt at the most 30 minutes doing something like this when I should be in bed but I can't stop. Now my psych doctor I go to for 2 years now is female, straight shooter and calls me out on not just my crap but her thoughts of how much support I am not getting at all from my closest family and friends. I at first was so happy since again I not only found a female psych that did BOTH my medication management and my weekly therapy. In the past I would literally see the psych doctor who would spend less than 15 minutes only asking about how the meds were working and never looking up from that prescription pad to ask even a "how have you been feeling mood wise, or problems not to do with meds. Then I had to go see a therapist to be able to talk more about my feelings but either doctor worked together or ever spoke about me and my meds and either success or failure per their own thoughts about me. So, with this Adderall, my psych had recommended it to me after I just explained how the major depression had dragged me down to the point that I do not take care of basic hygiene care, I am at home not working collecting practically nothing from disability and yet even when I got my first script for Adderall it was 10mg/taken twice daily and never after 3:00pm. They did absolutely nothing so I added 200mg caffeine pills since I don't drink caffeinated drinks especially coffee. Now I am on the highest dose she will allow 30mg/twice daily until more time passes and she will know the timeframe when my body will need more medication due to tolerance build up but also I now get weighed at my weekly appointments and have to write a small daily diary as far as when and what meds I take thru the day along with what I ate and drank, and then what if any activity or energy I notice ANY improvements, and finally how I FELT thru each day. But since its too soon to up my dose, the amount of each staggering amount of prescriptions I have, and when I can stop losing weight...please can someone who isn't reading this like a medical professional since you will only see all this and my question coming as nothing more than a "drug seeking/abuser" but please if anyone knows how I can crush the oval orange 30mg regular release pills and then just snort one first and try it again a few hours later since it would still be the same dose but the positive effects of the Adderall for what they are prescribed by for my lack of motivation, energy, or will to function than please let me know how to try it, how long the effects will last especially if I do snort each pill once and the other a few hours later, will the med help more until I meet my psych's requirements to give me a higher dose or get to take more tabs a day. I will be having another sleeping test since while I could have gone back on Provigil or Nuvigil which really helped years ago when it first came out and anyone who had some insomnia or sleep apnea where easily given those meds and they helped me so and never made me feel shaky and racing thoughts like the Adderall does, but since I did recently have my sinus surgery and while I had a broken nose from years ago that I didn't know it was and so the ENT didn't fix it but he did try to remove as many polops in every sinus area but some had to be left because there again were so many and in dangerous places. So either until I get another sleep study and indeed still have sleep apnea, especially since my dramatic weight loss, my psych said she could then finally take me off the actual methamphetamine class drugs and put me right back on the Provigil or Nuvigil which I do remember having quick and great improvements to the point that I was able to work 6 days a week and now I hate having to get out of bed to even use the bathroom. So right now I know asking if someone can help me use an addictive drug in an in proper way, I can assure anyone that it will not turn into any kind of drug addiction but at least a small amount of help til I can get the correct medication for my symptoms with the least chance of unwanted side effects and chance of addiction. Thank-you to anyone who might read this and have any thoughts or ideas...again thanks Malissa