Set and Setting:
My younger brother (A, 20), our mutual best friend (F, 20) and I (J, 22) are in Amsterdam. My brother and I grew up in NY but live in Sweden. F (also from NY) is studying a semester abroad in Norway. We?€™ve met up for a weekend in Amsterdam to see the City, bond and have a good time.
Its Friday night and we are at a Skrillex Concert in an old Church that has been renovated to a 3 story venue called Paradiso with a capacity of 1500.
As soon as we get through security (after A and I both get thoroughly searched, and I was asked specifically ?€œDo you have any drugs on you??€ we head to the downstairs bathroom where we each take about 200 mg of crystal (crushed to powder) MDMA orally. Skrillex is on in 1h 10min. We head upstairs and watch the preshow anticipating the come on. 55 minutes later we?€™re back downstairs to convene. Non of us feel it, so we discuss taking a bit more. Both F?€™s and My eyes are significantly dilated, so we decide to give it another couple minutes. Five minutes later F starts to come on. I?€™m not feeling it yet but I can tell by the look on F?€™s face that its good. Another five minutes pass and the first wave hits me. Wow?€? Adrenaline starts pumping. Feels fucking great. About a minute passes and the next wave hits. Holy shit, this feels fucking amazing. It being my first time taking MDMA I didn?€™t know what to expect. It was already far better that I had imagined. I start running my fingers through my hair.. How can this feel so good? The three of us run our fingers through each other?€™s hair and it feels even better. The waves keep coming with about a 1-5 minutes interval and each time I am taken to another level. Holy fucking shit. I can feel the mix of blood and adrenaline pumping through my veins. The feeling of intense pleasure starting in the pit of my stomach, running up my spine and out through the top of my head, and hands is unreal. Skrillex comes on and the crowd goes wild. By the time his second song is playing Im starting to peak and the feeling is comparable only to a few things I have experienced in my life. As the music takes hold of me I end up pumping myself up into a state of complete exhilaration. Like I mantra I start pounding my right first into my left palm starting slow and then building it up ?€œI am so pumped right now, I am SO pumped right now, I AM SO PUMPED RIGHT NOW, I.. AM?€? SO?€? FUCKING?€? PUMPED.. RIGHT.. NOW?€??€ followed by a howl of pleasure, bliss, love, and compassion at the top of my lungs. The only experiences I can compare the feeling to are ones of tough fought victories on the tennis court, my commencement speech or summiting a high mountain peak in the Himalayas after a 9 hour push from Base Camp. That fucking good.
The following couple hours are just a fucking blast. The whole bottom floor is one big mosh pit, but different from any mosh pit I?€™ve been in before. Almost everyone down on the main floor is rolling. Everyone is at the same place, of love, compassion and bliss that I am. Therefore it?€™s not an aggressive, tense mosh pit of anger. It?€™s a loose, moving, body of love Its like everyone down there is on the same page with a few key facts. 1) We are all human being who love to exert ourselves physically, and rough around 2) we all feel a lot of love and compassion for each other and we want everyone to have an amazing time. So as soon as someone starts to fall down (because don?€™t get me wrong it was a fucking intense mosh pit), people where there to stop their fall or pick them back up. At one point I was next to a girl who got knocked over and lost her bearings, as I and a couple guys helped her to her feet and asked her if she was ok, everyone around us put their finger up in the air and stopped dancing. The whole place stopped for a second to make sure that this one girl was ok and when she gave us the universal ?€œIm OK?€ sign (two thumbs up) we all went back to doing our thing. So fucking beautiful. The state of group high that I think everyone at the concert was experiencing was like nothing I had ever been a part of?€? Such a beautiful thing to be a part of.
All of a sudden the crowd starts to get really tight around us and people are backing up. When I realize what going on my heart skips a beat and my adrenaline skyrockets. The entire floor is opening a huge empty circle as Skrillex starts building up to a Base Drop. My first ?€circle of death?€ I step in so Im right at the edge of the circle. ?€œOk, I see what?€™s going on, this is really going to happen, this is fucking insane?€ The build-up gets stronger and stronger. ?€œOk, fuck, this is going to happen, holy shit?€ By this point the circle is fucking huge. ?€œAlright, bring it on mother fuckers!, lets fucking do it!, LETS FUCKING DO IT!?€ And as the bass drops we all charge the middle at full speed. Though Im not sure, I think I knocked about three or four guys to the ground before being demolished by - who knows, but then picked right back up before I even knew I hit the ground to get right back in the action. Amazing!
Throughout the night I had a number of beautiful encounters and moments that will stay with me for the rest of my life. A girl coming over to me while I was at my peak and slapping me back and forth across the face (in the most loving way) taking the sensory perceptions of my face and head to a new level.
Seeing a young kid who said he was 18 but looked 16 and reminded me so much of myself at that age and who was at the same state of high as I was. He was on shrooms and I gave him a huge hug before going back to whatever I was doing.
Grabbing hold of a guy, about 3 inches taller than me, shaved and shirtless (as was I at this point) and throwing each other around before we both toppled to the ground. Upon getting back up I grabbed his face and just wanted to give him a huge fucking kiss right on the forehead though I restrained myself and gave him a huge hug, because that was exactly what I needed at that moment.
Locking eyes with a beautiful girl, in the way I imagine is only possible when both are rolling. I walk straight over to her and stand in front of her breathing heavily. Neither of us say anything but stare deeply into each other?€™s eyes. After what seemed like forever but can?€™t have been more than seconds I say ?€œI?€™m on MDMA right now?€. She replies by pointing to her chest and than putting two fingers in the air indicating ?€œMe 2?€. ?€œIt?€™s my first time and I would love to feel what?€™s its like to give you a hug right now?€.. She nods. We hug and I never knew a hug could feel so good. After a while we each step back from each other and I say. ?€œI really want to kiss you right now, is that ok??€. She tilts her head to the side and runs her eyes down my body and then back up to my face, then gestures to me by curling her finger towards her that she want me to step closer. I go in for the kiss but she stops me by putting her hands on my face at the last second. The moment is so intense. She positions my head, tilted slightly to the side(just as she wants it) and starts kissing my bottom lip. The next five minute make-up session was one of the most sensual experiences of my life.
As I start to come down the experience changes. It shifts from being a amazing body high to more of a state of mental clarity. All of a sudden ideas and concepts that I have been struggling with for a long time make complete sense. Things I didn?€™t even know were a problem reveal themselves. I?€™m seeing things more clearly than since I was a child and feel more open about myself than ever before. The continuation of the night was quite emotional and I guess you could say spiritual to an extent. I ended up calling my sister who I have had some trouble communicating with in the past and had a really loving conversation with her. I spoke to another sister of mine in New York, had a open loving conversation with my little brother who was there with me and had a nice talk with an ex-girlfriend of mine. I was dying to call and wake up my parents back in Sweden to talk to them about what I was feeling and experiencing but wisely A and F nixed me on that one. F, who had done MDMA a couple times before, was really great with me in just being there and letting me talk everything out that I felt like I really needed to say. I give him a lot of credit for that. It was also great having A there to experience this with me.
It was first several hours later after a morning walk through ?€œVondel Park?€ (the Central Park of Amsterdam) that I was able to get a couple hours of sleep. Its not easy to shut your eyes and relax after one of the most exhilarating experiences of a lifetime
I feel really lucky to have had such a positive first experience with MDMA and I hope to experience a night like this again sometime in the future. As for the Tuesday blues (the depression some people express after rolling) I didn?€™t see even a hint of it. The following nights I did twist and turn quite a bit but I think that mostly was due to my need to process everything I had come to realize and the experience as a whole. In a sense, 4 weeks later, Im still coming down of the high. What a fucking night!
If you are considering trying MDMA, I think that?€™s cool. Based on the reading I?€™ve done it?€™s a relatively safe drug (physically) so that shouldn?€™t stop you. I feel the most important thing is that you do it with people who you are really close with and feel comfortable just being yourself with. I would also recommend doing something special that generally puts you in a really good state of mind (i.e. concerts or something similar) because I think that really amplifies the positive effects of the drug. It is an illegal substance so be careful, but I think it?€™s something most people should try at some point in their life. Be safe, have fun, and cherish the experience. It can?€™t be expected to always be as good
//J
Tagged by bindingaffinity
substancecode_mdma
substancecode_empathogens
explevel_firsttime
exptype_positive
exptype_glowing
roacode_oral
My younger brother (A, 20), our mutual best friend (F, 20) and I (J, 22) are in Amsterdam. My brother and I grew up in NY but live in Sweden. F (also from NY) is studying a semester abroad in Norway. We?€™ve met up for a weekend in Amsterdam to see the City, bond and have a good time.
Its Friday night and we are at a Skrillex Concert in an old Church that has been renovated to a 3 story venue called Paradiso with a capacity of 1500.
As soon as we get through security (after A and I both get thoroughly searched, and I was asked specifically ?€œDo you have any drugs on you??€ we head to the downstairs bathroom where we each take about 200 mg of crystal (crushed to powder) MDMA orally. Skrillex is on in 1h 10min. We head upstairs and watch the preshow anticipating the come on. 55 minutes later we?€™re back downstairs to convene. Non of us feel it, so we discuss taking a bit more. Both F?€™s and My eyes are significantly dilated, so we decide to give it another couple minutes. Five minutes later F starts to come on. I?€™m not feeling it yet but I can tell by the look on F?€™s face that its good. Another five minutes pass and the first wave hits me. Wow?€? Adrenaline starts pumping. Feels fucking great. About a minute passes and the next wave hits. Holy shit, this feels fucking amazing. It being my first time taking MDMA I didn?€™t know what to expect. It was already far better that I had imagined. I start running my fingers through my hair.. How can this feel so good? The three of us run our fingers through each other?€™s hair and it feels even better. The waves keep coming with about a 1-5 minutes interval and each time I am taken to another level. Holy fucking shit. I can feel the mix of blood and adrenaline pumping through my veins. The feeling of intense pleasure starting in the pit of my stomach, running up my spine and out through the top of my head, and hands is unreal. Skrillex comes on and the crowd goes wild. By the time his second song is playing Im starting to peak and the feeling is comparable only to a few things I have experienced in my life. As the music takes hold of me I end up pumping myself up into a state of complete exhilaration. Like I mantra I start pounding my right first into my left palm starting slow and then building it up ?€œI am so pumped right now, I am SO pumped right now, I AM SO PUMPED RIGHT NOW, I.. AM?€? SO?€? FUCKING?€? PUMPED.. RIGHT.. NOW?€??€ followed by a howl of pleasure, bliss, love, and compassion at the top of my lungs. The only experiences I can compare the feeling to are ones of tough fought victories on the tennis court, my commencement speech or summiting a high mountain peak in the Himalayas after a 9 hour push from Base Camp. That fucking good.
The following couple hours are just a fucking blast. The whole bottom floor is one big mosh pit, but different from any mosh pit I?€™ve been in before. Almost everyone down on the main floor is rolling. Everyone is at the same place, of love, compassion and bliss that I am. Therefore it?€™s not an aggressive, tense mosh pit of anger. It?€™s a loose, moving, body of love Its like everyone down there is on the same page with a few key facts. 1) We are all human being who love to exert ourselves physically, and rough around 2) we all feel a lot of love and compassion for each other and we want everyone to have an amazing time. So as soon as someone starts to fall down (because don?€™t get me wrong it was a fucking intense mosh pit), people where there to stop their fall or pick them back up. At one point I was next to a girl who got knocked over and lost her bearings, as I and a couple guys helped her to her feet and asked her if she was ok, everyone around us put their finger up in the air and stopped dancing. The whole place stopped for a second to make sure that this one girl was ok and when she gave us the universal ?€œIm OK?€ sign (two thumbs up) we all went back to doing our thing. So fucking beautiful. The state of group high that I think everyone at the concert was experiencing was like nothing I had ever been a part of?€? Such a beautiful thing to be a part of.
All of a sudden the crowd starts to get really tight around us and people are backing up. When I realize what going on my heart skips a beat and my adrenaline skyrockets. The entire floor is opening a huge empty circle as Skrillex starts building up to a Base Drop. My first ?€circle of death?€ I step in so Im right at the edge of the circle. ?€œOk, I see what?€™s going on, this is really going to happen, this is fucking insane?€ The build-up gets stronger and stronger. ?€œOk, fuck, this is going to happen, holy shit?€ By this point the circle is fucking huge. ?€œAlright, bring it on mother fuckers!, lets fucking do it!, LETS FUCKING DO IT!?€ And as the bass drops we all charge the middle at full speed. Though Im not sure, I think I knocked about three or four guys to the ground before being demolished by - who knows, but then picked right back up before I even knew I hit the ground to get right back in the action. Amazing!
Throughout the night I had a number of beautiful encounters and moments that will stay with me for the rest of my life. A girl coming over to me while I was at my peak and slapping me back and forth across the face (in the most loving way) taking the sensory perceptions of my face and head to a new level.
Seeing a young kid who said he was 18 but looked 16 and reminded me so much of myself at that age and who was at the same state of high as I was. He was on shrooms and I gave him a huge hug before going back to whatever I was doing.
Grabbing hold of a guy, about 3 inches taller than me, shaved and shirtless (as was I at this point) and throwing each other around before we both toppled to the ground. Upon getting back up I grabbed his face and just wanted to give him a huge fucking kiss right on the forehead though I restrained myself and gave him a huge hug, because that was exactly what I needed at that moment.
Locking eyes with a beautiful girl, in the way I imagine is only possible when both are rolling. I walk straight over to her and stand in front of her breathing heavily. Neither of us say anything but stare deeply into each other?€™s eyes. After what seemed like forever but can?€™t have been more than seconds I say ?€œI?€™m on MDMA right now?€. She replies by pointing to her chest and than putting two fingers in the air indicating ?€œMe 2?€. ?€œIt?€™s my first time and I would love to feel what?€™s its like to give you a hug right now?€.. She nods. We hug and I never knew a hug could feel so good. After a while we each step back from each other and I say. ?€œI really want to kiss you right now, is that ok??€. She tilts her head to the side and runs her eyes down my body and then back up to my face, then gestures to me by curling her finger towards her that she want me to step closer. I go in for the kiss but she stops me by putting her hands on my face at the last second. The moment is so intense. She positions my head, tilted slightly to the side(just as she wants it) and starts kissing my bottom lip. The next five minute make-up session was one of the most sensual experiences of my life.
As I start to come down the experience changes. It shifts from being a amazing body high to more of a state of mental clarity. All of a sudden ideas and concepts that I have been struggling with for a long time make complete sense. Things I didn?€™t even know were a problem reveal themselves. I?€™m seeing things more clearly than since I was a child and feel more open about myself than ever before. The continuation of the night was quite emotional and I guess you could say spiritual to an extent. I ended up calling my sister who I have had some trouble communicating with in the past and had a really loving conversation with her. I spoke to another sister of mine in New York, had a open loving conversation with my little brother who was there with me and had a nice talk with an ex-girlfriend of mine. I was dying to call and wake up my parents back in Sweden to talk to them about what I was feeling and experiencing but wisely A and F nixed me on that one. F, who had done MDMA a couple times before, was really great with me in just being there and letting me talk everything out that I felt like I really needed to say. I give him a lot of credit for that. It was also great having A there to experience this with me.
It was first several hours later after a morning walk through ?€œVondel Park?€ (the Central Park of Amsterdam) that I was able to get a couple hours of sleep. Its not easy to shut your eyes and relax after one of the most exhilarating experiences of a lifetime
I feel really lucky to have had such a positive first experience with MDMA and I hope to experience a night like this again sometime in the future. As for the Tuesday blues (the depression some people express after rolling) I didn?€™t see even a hint of it. The following nights I did twist and turn quite a bit but I think that mostly was due to my need to process everything I had come to realize and the experience as a whole. In a sense, 4 weeks later, Im still coming down of the high. What a fucking night!
If you are considering trying MDMA, I think that?€™s cool. Based on the reading I?€™ve done it?€™s a relatively safe drug (physically) so that shouldn?€™t stop you. I feel the most important thing is that you do it with people who you are really close with and feel comfortable just being yourself with. I would also recommend doing something special that generally puts you in a really good state of mind (i.e. concerts or something similar) because I think that really amplifies the positive effects of the drug. It is an illegal substance so be careful, but I think it?€™s something most people should try at some point in their life. Be safe, have fun, and cherish the experience. It can?€™t be expected to always be as good
//J
Tagged by bindingaffinity
substancecode_mdma
substancecode_empathogens
explevel_firsttime
exptype_positive
exptype_glowing
roacode_oral
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