My toddler son was murdered in 2002. My beautiful, blonde haired, blue eyed son (he had Waardenburg syndrome that only affected his eyes/really blonde hair .. He was normal otherwise, minus sensitive vision) was a good little boy. People used to joke about how he didnt look like anyone, but everyone said he looked angelic, and he was a little angel.
My oldest daughter had a touch of WS as well, she was born with and still has snow white patches of hair, but her eyes are normal. After I had her, I struggled to have another child. Five years later, I had my second child, a son. My children changed me for the better. I went got a degree in nursing with secondary in dental, I quit drinking alcohol, didn't touch drugs, etc.
My heart yearned for another child, yet doctors warned against it, claiming that because WS skipped my 2nd child, my 3rd child could receive the worst of it, such as being born deaf, or blind. Yet it happened and I was given the gift of my 3rd and final child.
My husband was deployed 8 months after his birth, and I was left taking care of the children pretty much alone, minus some help here and there from family. I relished in being a mom 24/7, my children were my world, and I theirs. They were good kids, I couldn't ask for any better!
Fast forward to me having to go back to work while my husband/their father was away. We really struggled with this issue...we didn't live above our means, we drove older vehicles, etc. but with our youngest son's 4 hr round trip therapy for his eyes once per week, we needed the extra $ to cover cost and what military insurance didn't cover.
My oldest and dearest friend offered to babysit for me while I worked. Trust me, it took me a long damn time and a lot of thought into the decision to allow her to keep them. She was great with the kids, they were always clean and fed when I picked them up, so for months, zero issues.
That Nov. (my son died jan.) I noticed a little difference in her...she was wearing makeup, dressing up more, asking for friday nights off, so I figured she had interest in a guy. It was no biggie but the agreement was..no strangers around my kids, that meant who she dated.
Last night my son was alive, I dropped them off for a 12 hr shift at the emergency room. My son was exhausted, so I gave him kisses, his blankey, and left him for the night. I'll NEVER forget pulling off and him standing at the glass door blowing me kisses as I drove away. Little did I know a few hours later, he'd be dead.
I'm not going to relive too much by posting this but imagine preparing on your shift for a child to come in who is in critical condition, then being pulled into a room by crying police officers/supervisors telling you it's your child.
My son was beaten and strangled to death by the monSter bastard scum of a boyfriend of her's...40+ hits to my toddler son's head, 6 inch skull fracture, ligature marks on his neck, his tongue bitten in half from the hits to his head....his blue eyes blood red, I can't.. If he had even lived, the brain damage was too much.
Imagine this bastard getting life without parole, then having his sentence reduced to 20 yrs over a technical error, when he was out on parole at the time for kidnapping/beating his ex almost to death and leaving her in the woods. Yeah, fucking shit judicial system. It was a media circus, horrible, my baby was treated like a tabloid fodder instead of a human being.
My last memory of my baby is of him in a sailor suit in a coffin. My two remaining children had years of therapy for semi witnessing what happened that horrible night. That bastard picked on my baby because he was defenseless, and couldn't see that well.
I know I joke here (certain sections of the board), I'm also serious at times as well, but the pain I carry inside me is so deep, you can't imagine. I live with guilt every day...guilt for working, guilt for leaving, guilt over all. And I am a bitch, I guess, when I see people be so wreckless with their lives, when life is so precious.
My ex babysitter was damn good at sneaking this monster in, I feel guilt over not seeing things more clearly
I beat her up years ago and I'll not lie, it felt good. I beat her in the dirt and the cops stood by and let it happen without any charges. She deserved what my innocent son got, and then some. She put her twat/needs over the well being of 3 innocent children without any regard for their lives...all I was doing was trying to feed my kids. Maybe it was wrong of me to hit her, but I did.
