Don't hate yourself, addicts are a special kind of people.

[shady4091]

In no way am I intending to romanticize addiction here but I've come to a certain conclusion this past few days. I see a lot of topics regarding depression, how soulless one feels, and how they're never going to be "normal" again. The thing is, that "normal" is a very relative term, so is happiness. Who is to really say what "normal" is anyway? 9-5 job, bacon and eggs every morning, prime time television every night? I guess...

The question a lot of recovering addicts ask themselves is, "was I happier before I ever touched drugs?". I think a lot of people would say yes, but why? Is it because you lost some friends/family in-between? Because you did some shameful things to fulfill your addiction? Because you feel like you'll never be able to stop thinking about it? It's true that our thought process may never be the same as it was before we used drugs, but I don't think this is a bad thing. We just tend to focus on the wrong elements. We don't think about the sheer strength we exhibit to conquer addiction, the extreme willpower it takes to stay clean and although we may falter from time to time, we ALWAYS get back up, dust ourselves off and get right back at it. If that's not determination, I don't know what is. There's the unyielding compassion that we have for one another, to help each other because we know what it's like. We've experienced pain and suffering that no one else knows even exists. But we're far from broken. On the contrary, we're tough as fuck.

Stop trying to get back to "normal" because "normal" was never really our thing anyway. I say branch out on a new horizon, and don't EVER forget what we went through.

Maybe this is just some self-delusional bullshit that I'm saying to justify what I've been through, but in reality, I feel stronger than ever.

 

[Want2change]

I totally agree....who's to say what's normal these days I think addicts going through hardships have to be one of the strongest people on the planet I thought I was tough but these withdrawals are breaking me down

 

[xburtonchic]

I don't think it's "self-delusional bullshit". Actually I'm going to bookmark this thread for reference when I finally jump off bupe, and then benzo's. I personally find it inspiring. Good post dude.

 

[Dave]

Eff normal. It doesn't exist other than as a delusion in the minds of those obsessed with it. Be you; imperfections, talents, quirks, eccentricities, complexes, scars and beauty intact. Besides, 'normal' people are boring as all hell.

 

[terraincognita]

I completely agree. It is a persons choice on how to view his/her life in context to living in this world. If i ever can kick my ferocious stim habit(90 day concerta 54mg script..gone in 7 days), im still left with the scars of addiction,,started when i was 15, so i grew into adult(19) with uppers as my guide...sex...interpersonal conflict...growing up..job...girlfriend..best friend......the high school experience..all those things everbody encounters in developing ones personality, adderall ritalin and cocaine twisted it all into chaos..and at this point, i forgot who terraincognita* was...he slowly faded away as life was consumed by the delusions of the high and the consequences of what i do to achieve it. but if i can shake it, ill never shake knowing all i lost to drugs, ill never shake knowing how to make money seemingly appear out of thin air, if needed, ill never shake knowing excatly what to tell each and every person to get them to see and believe whatever i chose to show them. But i feel like im on a new higher(or more primative...cant tell) level than the "others". It seems like the world i live in is one much more complex and surreal than those fortunate enough to evade addiction. Ive been places you cant comprehend with your "normal" view of "life". Ive had interpersonal conflicts worse than most divorces.. Ive lived the role of a "bad person" and done things that ill never ever admit to another living being. my mind is deeper than yours..you dont get my ideas and views about how life is to be lived...but these make me special. I ve experienced, over thought , examined, and ruminated on emotions of lonelyness, fear, angst , and hopelessness so much, that i am an expert in my own psychiatry.. i have skills im ashamed of, skills you dont understand. if i beat my addiction..i will have advanced into a new level of human, one that is completly self aware, and trained in dealing with any stress or obsticle life can hold..ive been to hell...ive been my own demon,,if i escape, i can appreciate life from a view that most are unaware of.

 

[Fyasko.]

Eff normal. It doesn't exist other than as a delusion in the minds of those obsessed with it. Be you; imperfections, talents, quirks, eccentricities, complexes, scars and beauty intact. Besides, 'normal' people are boring as all hell.

+1
being wierd is such a plus nowadays.
and its so much easier/fun to just act like yourself instead of trying to be normal.

 

[toastedpanda]

I've never felt that addicts and non addicts were all that different idk. Everyone wants to feel uniqe I guess. I never felt as though I was strong for beating addiction, its easy when you decide to actually live life. Living life on lifes terms for decades takex strenght. Not trying to bring anyone down just how I feel.

 

[whynaught]

I've never felt that addicts and non addicts were all that different idk. Everyone wants to feel uniqe I guess. I never felt as though I was strong for beating addiction, its easy when you decide to actually live life. Living life on lifes terms for decades takex strenght. Not trying to bring anyone down just how I feel.

I feel as though addiction and different extremes of mind states tends to make "living life" a different experience. An experience that one might have to jump over harder than normal obstacles of conscious awareness for a peace of mind?

Edit: I'm stoned you guys are awesome :S

 

[effie]

+1
being wierd is such a plus nowadays.
and its so much easier/fun to just act like yourself instead of trying to be normal.

So true :D

I said it in another thread, but all my favourite people are usually at least a little eccentric or at least don't buy in to what society tells us is normal..

What you say, shady, about the reason for being happier before addiction is very true for a lot of people I think. Addiction and overcoming it itself can make you unhappy, of course, but often it is the other things you have lost - that triggered the addiction, or through the addiction - that make you unhappy, moreso than the drugs (or lack of).

However, what we go through makes us stronger and wiser

toastedpanda - I understand what you are saying. You're right, everyone wants to be unique. I think beating addiction makes you strong, just as living through trauma makes you strong, or just riding life for decades makes you strong. The importance with addiction is it can make you feel so worthless - so anything that can help you to love yourself more, and feel stronger, is helpful I feel

 

[Jack1118son]

Look, we all have our problems. Some eat to the point of death, some gamble away rent / bill money. Others have to go shopping every week. I've used substances now for around 20 years (37 now, started late at 17). Honestly, have they taken away from my life...certainly. Honestly, have they also added to my life, absolutely!! Not only life, but knowledge that I honestly don't think I would have ever attained without stimulating parts of my brain that generally laid dormant. Now, I don't advocate drug use, that's a decision that each and every one should make for themselves. Certain substances can absolutely be beneficial under any number of circumstances. I honestly think the majority would be surprised at the many things / changes in our culture that substance abuse has brought about. The problem is not the substances, or the users. The problem is society's views on drugs, and the application of those drugs and the environments created by our drug policies / views.
When as a society are we going to start to realize that for every 1 that does well, 2 probably have to do bad if not more, which is HONESTLY HOW AMERICAN CAPITALISM ACTUALLY NOW WORKS. Instead of making things worse for people, we should start to try to make things better. I don't know what else has to happen before the majority realize what a failure the so called "War on Drugs" that Nixon started has been. I'm quite certain the top 1% have been making hand over fist with our current drug policy / policies, as well as a ton of American corporations set up to benefit with drugs being illegal. One can hope that one day society will one day wake up and realize that we need to find a way to make it better not worse....which is exactly what we've been doing since the early 70's. I wonder why people have such issue with Police. Could it be that because of our drug laws and how they police them? I certainly don't think it helps. If the Police were able to focus only on Violent Criminals and thieves (and if drugs were legal and legislated, theft for drugs would DRASTICALLY change), I don't think they would have 85 % of the current reputation and hate that they rightfully receive for busting or balls, locking us up, taking our money and generally leaving us in worse position / place then when we started, but they just want to help us right, bulls*@it. The bulls*@it programs they have for recovery are a joke and truthfully they work what 10 % of the time, if not less. Again, the problem is not the drugs or the drug user. It's the way we as a society view drug use and drug users....Only when this changes, will we have any chance of honestly discussing and lessen the amount of those that use. I mean what a joke the current policy is, all it does it take all control of said substances away from our Governments and delivers an untold bounty to truly horrible, horrible people. Not to mention, drugs have always been used, and will always be used. Honestly, it's all a big fu@*ing joke and again the top 1% percent just rake it all in....All America does is lock up people, 25 % of the worlds jailed population are Americans....Private Prisons, money making enterprises...Fine money, Court Costs, Lawyers, etc.....all they do is feed from the compromised and weak, it's just sick...

 

[herbavore]

I agree 100%.^

 

[NewJerseyChill]

In no way am I intending to romanticize addiction here but I've come to a certain conclusion this past few days. I see a lot of topics regarding depression, how soulless one feels, and how they're never going to be "normal" again. The thing is, that "normal" is a very relative term, so is happiness. Who is to really say what "normal" is anyway? 9-5 job, bacon and eggs every morning, prime time television every night? I guess...

The question a lot of recovering addicts ask themselves is, "was I happier before I ever touched drugs?". I think a lot of people would say yes, but why? Is it because you lost some friends/family in-between? Because you did some shameful things to fulfill your addiction? Because you feel like you'll never be able to stop thinking about it? It's true that our thought process may never be the same as it was before we used drugs, but I don't think this is a bad thing. We just tend to focus on the wrong elements. We don't think about the sheer strength we exhibit to conquer addiction, the extreme willpower it takes to stay clean and although we may falter from time to time, we ALWAYS get back up, dust ourselves off and get right back at it. If that's not determination, I don't know what is. There's the unyielding compassion that we have for one another, to help each other because we know what it's like. We've experienced pain and suffering that no one else knows even exists. But we're far from broken. On the contrary, we're tough as fuck.

Stop trying to get back to "normal" because "normal" was never really our thing anyway. I say branch out on a new horizon, and don't EVER forget what we went through.

Maybe this is just some self-delusional bullshit that I'm saying to justify what I've been through, but in reality, I feel stronger than ever.

Addicts are the double edged sword of society. We have a disease that can cause us to obsess over a chemical substance, which will cause us to trample others and do crazy thing to get.
On the other hand, If you can manage to stay from your vices and do positive shit with your life, you can apply that obsession to a hobby like music, fitness, and finances etc....

To achieve great things in life, Obsession is a MUST. As an addict obsession comes easy, obsession for normies causes them to tire out and get bored, even scared. Us, No. we get more and more energy from obsession. We don't hunger, feel pain, or feel cold...Until we have what we want in our hands.

Addiction does provide unique experiences in life, alot of experiences that cost us our mental stability, relationships, and left alot of us broken & empty. But if you manage to stay positive and tough it out, day by day, minute by minute...Guarantee you will get what you want in life as long as you do the right thing. That's a promise I can keep. Those are unique experiences that can empower you or imprison you.

If you want a 6 figure job and a white picket fence, it's yours...It's right there. You are going to tell me that you will do all that crazy shit to get your drug and alcohols...but you won't use that same fire to get what you want in life? If you stay off the drugs and alcohol and fight every negative thought with a positive thought, No way an addict can't get what they want.

We are blessed. We keep things interesting if you ask me.

 

[cj]

There are some great posts on this thread. Should be best of bluelight

 

[Rachella666]

So well said

 

[Ne0]

I've never felt that addicts and non addicts were all that different idk. Everyone wants to feel uniqe I guess. I never felt as though I was strong for beating addiction, its easy when you decide to actually live life. Living life on lifes terms for decades takex strenght. Not trying to bring anyone down just how I feel.

Indeed. THere is every kind of addicts, violent and bad people too. We are not that special, anyone can get addicted.

 

[RedDucki63]

Just because its addictive doesnt mean its bad. Ive definately noticed that since using different drugs that my mind has expanded beyond most people. The drawback being bored with most things and people. The pro becoming my own person.
I dont think as addicts we are stronger but rather more equiped to deal with new problems. We tried substances because we wanted to escape our problem we couldnt deal with or understand. We become addicts because it works. Some of us become functional and are able to keep our relationships. Some of us get lost and it gets out hand
People go to psychiatrists and they get put on meds for the rest of their lives. If you need it for the rest lf your life its addictive. But they say its not addictive but you go a few days witho out them and you go for a tail spin

 

[Mafioso]

Just because its addictive doesnt mean its bad. Ive definately noticed that since using different drugs that my mind has expanded beyond most people. The drawback being bored with most things and people. The pro becoming my own person.
I dont think as addicts we are stronger but rather more equiped to deal with new problems. We tried substances because we wanted to escape our problem we couldnt deal with or understand. We become addicts because it works. Some of us become functional and are able to keep our relationships. Some of us get lost and it gets out hand
People go to psychiatrists and they get put on meds for the rest of their lives. If you need it for the rest lf your life its addictive. But they say its not addictive but you go a few days witho out them and you go for a tail spin

"Addiction is a medical condition that is characterized by compulsive engagement in rewarding stimuli, despite adverse consequences"

Most "functional addicts" will hit a wall at some point if they are continually using heavy. No one is stronger than addiction and addiction is not a matter of will power. Addiction doesn't solve any of life's problems, usually just covers them up for later.

Most addicts are drug dependent and addiction and dependence often go hand in hand, but there is a difference between drug addiction and drug dependence.

But yeah, overcoming addiction/substance use disorders takes a tremendous amount of personal strength. Having to deal with all the emotional problems that was covered up by drug use and all the problems caused by drug use can be overwhelming, often times it may be what keeps people from getting clean.