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Clear The Air - Write A Letter To Someone Who Hurt You

NOSTALGIC

I miss your face
and your smile
and your bright pretty blue eyes
miss your vision of life,
and lying with you in bed,
miss your initiative, your charming ways
and the music you would play,
the fights we put up and our debates,
colliding stars at the end of day…
These are the things that I miss….
It’s not time to be brokenhearted…
I miss those great, funny good old days
and I never thought I’d be so nostalgic ‘bout losing you…
I miss your attitude and your gaze,
your involving me in your projects,
miss watching you moan the loan,
always there smiling at me,
miss traveling along with you,
miss your nice and lively friends,
miss our Key West getaway,
watching you adore your dogs…
These are the things that I miss…
It’s not time to be brokenhearted…
I miss those great, funny good old days
and I never thought I’d be so nostalgic 'bout losing you…
As I try moving on
I struggle with fear
pretending it is ok….
I miss your breath and the thought
of us living well together
and the part of you that was introverted and concealed…
These are the things that I miss….
It’s not time to be brokenhearted…
I miss those great, funny good old days
and I never thought I’d be so nostalgic 'bout losing you…
 
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There is no way to come out of this elegantly. I'm hurt, but for the fear of being trivial I've never expressed it. And because of that I'm still in pain, even with all the time that has passed . This would give you too much credit, but so be it. I wish I was like one of the others you hurt, breaking windows, making scenes. This, I imagine, helps people cope. And it's too late for this now. Delayed anger is funny thing.
I'm left with whys I'll never get an answer to. Why do you hate women so much? You knew perfectly well how this will end for me, and yet here we are. It will be impossible for you to imagine what havoc it wrecks and how real the damage is, so just take my word and try to paint a picture in your head, you are after all intelligent.
NOW that you reveal you have a gf you stop contact, after messaging me days on end. NOW you're unavailable, after meeting me at every opportunity before. NOW you're trying to 'be good'. How's life in your world, are actually you happy?
 
When I met you, I felt some thing I hadn't felt in a while. I felt happy... You were simply amazing. You were beautiful, intelligent and caring. We didn't know each other very long, but when I first cuddled up next to you I thought "wow, this is an awesome feeling". I felt like I could get used to that, so I decided to let my guard down. I decided I wanted you to be a part of my life, you and your two kids. So I opened up and told you about my past, you seemed shocked. I was crazy about your kid's, and loved the fact that ****** said he wanted me to stay around. I was forsure me and you had some thing special. But then I heard them four words. The four words I never wanted to hear from you... "We need to talk". Instantly my heart shattered, I already knew what was coming after that. You hurt me, so fucking bad. I introduced you to almost every one in my family, and they all loved you. My daughter got so excited when I told her you were coming over. She had only met you a couple times, but like me.. She instantly got attached to you. I cared for you to much, way to much. I mean I had barely known you, but some thing about you got me. And I regret ever meeting you. I thought maybe you were the one that was gonna prove that all woman aren't the same. But as always, I was wrong. So thanks to you, I officially give up. I'm done trying... I don't wanna hurt no more, I honestly don't think I can take any more pain like this. You said you wanna work things out with your ex. The ex that you said was always mad and miserable around you and the kids. The ex that sat around all day playing video games and getting high, while your worked two jobs, went to school full time, mothered two children and took care of him... I understand that you love him, so I'm not necessarily mad at you. I'm just hurt, I honestly didn't see that coming... Especially from a girl like you, you could have been my everything. But now you are just another reason for my trust issues. I wish you the best in life, and hope things work out with you and ***.
 
Dear ***

You're such a coward and hypocrite, cant believe how mad i am with you...
Sucking like a drain, always in fear finding a problem. How can you let me invest so much just to throw it away? To have hopes of living together, supposedly, when you already had doubts about the entire thing fundamentally?
How can you expect things from other people that you are totally unable to do yourself, how can you be so blind not to see any of it or comprehend when I explain?
I'm sad that you cannot seem to move forward or be realistic about your life and yourself, I fear the worst but am relieved I won't have to be there to see every self fulfilling prophecy fulfilled inevitably. You are right that you are not ready, and probably will not be until you love yourself at least a little bit.

I feel betrayed and lost now that you show these last months to be a lie. At the very least I won't be selecting houses or appartments based on those illusions, thanks for that at least.

I stood up for you, was ready to sacrifice like I have already. But if you throw it in my face, I lose a lot of respect for you in retrograde. I don't blame you for our difficulties, but you could have saved me a lot by being honest and less of a dependent opportunist in denial about how uneven the relationship was becoming.

Oh yeah and also, dear life, you can stop with the curveballs now, fuck you very much. You must be so joking. Many promises, taking everything away.
 
Dear *****, you where the only person to ever see me for who I really am, the only person I ever cared for deeply, twice I almost died for you, I thought you accepted me, I supported you through so much hardship, but you couldn't understand mine. Time and time again you hurt me but I stayed, I was willing to suffer for eternity for a chance of seeing you smile.

I dont hate you for what you did to me. But I've spent the past year at home, quite literally alone. This time I've spent getting high and cutting myself, but this is not the reason I hate you. I hate you because I still think about you everyday and I still love you.
 
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