Funny that I stumble on this again during my return to BL for a different drug, looking for info on coadministering dxm and dextroamphetamine for tolerance issues. Forgive me for necro-ing this thread, but it seems I wasn't entirely forthcoming with my report the following day. Stand by for story time...
Here's what really happened: After I posted saying I was feeling something, my vision had done a warpy thing in tunnel fashion, my eyes suddenly seemed to be way further back in my head; think fisheye lense, but I think they call it the "dxm wacky-cam". I had a supermini panic overcome me, the effects were very strong when they finally did hit me, and they hit me like a semi going downhill with no breaks. The effects quickly snowballed into a 4th plateau experience. Since, I've learned that I take forever to feel the effects of nearly anything, so the 4-5 hour delay was warranted, methinks.
I quickly cut all ties to anyone I was speaking to online and, being home alone while experiencing my first true "psychedelic/disassociative" experience, attempted to lay down and sleep it off. In retrospect, I was horribly underprepared for what I had naively dived into.
Drunkenly stumbling into my dark bedroom lighted by only the hall light through the open door and flopping on the bed, my vision was neon-splotchy, similar to when you are surrounded by bright things in a dark room and suddenly kill the power, although these "splotches" moved and had more of a geometric flavor to them vice the normal amorphorous blobby look you get when the rods in your eyes slowly readjust to darkness.
I left the door open because I couldn't bring myself to shut it, I had this indescribable feeling that if I did, everything on the other side would disappear. I already had the irrational belief (I even realized it was irrational but couldn't shake it) that everything outside of my own house had fallen away: my house was on solid ground, but that ground itself had separated from the Earth, floating through space, dirt, roots, and plumbing dripping off intermittently as a result of it's sudden departure via forceful ripping. It's funny how clear this image was in my mind. I also believed that if I closed myself into any place, the remainder of the house would disappear in the same fashion.
When closing my eyes in a futile attempt at sleep, my body would slowly disappear in the same general concept as above, eg. closing my eyes shut me in from everything including my own body. It was subtly terrifying as part of me believed I had died when I lost the feeling of my own heartbeat, but I was calm at the same time. Quite a peculiar feeling; the general feeling of "something is wrong" never left me through the entire experience, but it was concurrent to an increasing level of peaceful tranquility. My body returned when I opened my eyes, so this further soothed my fears.
When in this complete disassociative state behind closed eyes, I felt like I was traveling through a dark hallway/tunnel in space, faintly curtained in a kind of glimmer all around, the word wormhole comes to mind. There was an almost imperceptable feeling that something was gently "guiding" me to something, keeping me from harm as I hurtled down this "path" at an uncomfortably increasing speed. When I opened my eyes and closed them again the process began anew, so I steeled myself in curiosity of the destination and closed them not to open them again before seeing where the end lay. I began that increasing speed until I hit a speed where I could go no faster and the word "lightspeed" rang in my inner mind.My consciousness was now shed of all connection to body and reality.
Suddenly, I entered a large bubble of space, coming to an instant stop. at the center of this sphere, there was an object. My invisible guide gave me the feeling that this thing was what I had come for and needed to see. I hovered/swam/floated towards it. When I was almost close enough to make out what it was, I felt a feeling... it's still hard to explain. I almost instincutally knew that I was feeling it's feelings, that it was something with intelligence, and that it would not harm me. I could feel it's suprise at my arrival, followed by ammusement and welcoming.
When I got close enough, I saw it's shape, and I'll try my best to describe it. It was an upside-down funnel with geometric shapes of neon blue-green endges and black centers. They appeared from nothing at the bottom fringes, began to spiral up until they reached the pinnacle, then disappeared into nothing.
Once I made out it's shape, I was completely enveloped with a overwhelming sense of calm peace. It directed my attention to somewhere out in the universe, and I saw Earth. I suddenly saw rapidly flashing pictures of people. They showed humanity at it's best and worst, where it had succeeded beyond expectation and where it had horribly failed, people in joy and despair. All of these were accompanied with either an sense of utter joy or a sense of deep sadness, the power of these emotions almost too much to bear.
When these stopped, I was left with a single extremely powerful emotion that cannot be described with one word. It's the feeling a parent gets for their children, but with a power that mortals are incapable of. The power only a divine being could muster, and it engulfed every fiber of my soul with indescribable euphoria. "It" had seen humanity stumble and fall, but "it" knew we would stand back up, brush ourselves off, and continue on. That mixed feeling of pride, sadness, joy, empathy, pain, and complete selflessness, wanting to protect from all hurt and pain so badly and yet knowing that we would never learn what we needed to if we were sheltered. In other words, when a child goes to stick his hand on something hot, you want to stop him and often do, but he will never know the meaning to it's fullest until he does and gets burnt. I suddenly knew. Humanity was not bad, not evil, not horrible at it's heart. We were all just children, ignorant but learning the only way we knew how; trial and error until we succeed, sometimes needing to learn the lesson more than once.
Then, suddenly, I was back in my own body, though the afterglow of that feeling has been with me since, even now.
I took a shower for hours, even after the water turned to ice, just musing about everything I had learned, while my body removed the chemical from my body. Overall, the physical effects were horrid but the shamanistic experience was priceless to me. Even now, I'm happier, more gentle, more kind, more saddened when others hurt each other or fail, and that unique parental feeling has never left me. I am still immensely glad to have had the priviledge of the enlightenment the revalation has brought.
Anyway, if you took the time to read that then I hope the read was at least somewhat entertaining. I didn't spell-check it because I'm on my phone and I've been called to do other things, so forgive the errors.