Our only doctor, aptly named Doctor, got a bad case of the Mondays and decided to take a walk while the colony's leader suffered from an extremely infected neck wound he had recieved defending the colony. Our leader struggled bravely but without medical care he died a painful labored death. Farter, our brave leader's dog, took this loss especially hard and lacked an emotional coping strategy.
He tore out our cook Herman's throat out as he was preparing his famous boomalope casserole. Sprinkles, the custodian, was the next to go. The dog found our one armed janitor enjoying a beer in the common room. Sprinkles defended himself admirably but all was in vain as there is no viable defense against a grief stricken canine. Farter ripped off Sprinkles' remaining arm and dutifully trudged outside. He found Doctor strolling amongst the palm fronds, feeling sorry for himself and presumeably writing weepy poetry about his trials and sorrows. Doctor pleaded his case to Farter. How could this dog not understand that the living room had been too dirty? THREE DIRT PILES IN THE LIVING ROOM!? How can he save lives if there are THREE DIRT PILES IN THE LIVING ROOM? What kind of kiddy pool operation would make a PROFESSIONAL work under conditions like that? Is it any wonder he had to get out of there and take a power jog? Surely, our great and brave leader would have understood, right? THREE DIRT PILES!
Death did not come quickly for Dr. Doctor. The bite had crushed his spine and only after two hard days did he finally succumb to the elements and starvation. As for Farter, his job was over. It was time to rest. His victories had come at too great a cost and the defensive wounds he had taken each battle were taking their toll. Farter limped his way back into the colony base, past Herman still bleeding out amongst his boomalope meat, over Sprinkles' now armless body, by his master's gangrenous corpse, through the three dirt piles and into the freezer. Farter laid down.
His frozen body was the last they found, behind a crate of strawberries.
Good boy, Farter. Good boy.
