Being turned on by jealousy is a common dysfunctional adaptation to emotional truama. We seldom cope funtionally to experiences that shock our perception of reality and disrupt the comfort of the habit of the normal that we know.
The cross all of us humans bear is loss. Whether it's seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, love, loved ones or ultimately our lives.
We don't like loss and try to control it to get it to stop. But to no avail as time and life march on.
The pathology of turning jealousy into horniness is the brains way of turning a bad thing into a good thing. It hurts to think that the one we want adoring us exclusively can possibly find another or the thought of another stimulating. Which may possibly lead to rejection and abandonment. Which is LOSS. And a severe blow to the ego. Which in and of itself is loss. A switch from being proud an selfconfident to crushed and humiliated.
I know of which I speak as I have the same pathology.
Pathologies like all other things in our world have seasons that must play out. For anything to finish it must experience a life span of acualities and then death. Things don't really die though. They simply evolve to a higher form. To remain a healthy personality the trick is for or understand of this evolution to evolve as well.
The first step in becoming healthy minded is the acceptance of the self as having this pathology. And forgiveness of the self for not realizing it earlier and foregivess of the self for any damage to others in our wake up til now.
I have much damage in my wake. But it's ok. It's just life. We're all fucked up. Some try to understand it. Some ain't got there yet. Some never will. Not in this lifetime anyway. They will eventually.
The question remains however. Would you consiser your pathology a bad thing if you were with a woman whose pathology was such that the most powerful orgasm she could have comes from being watched by her man surrendering to another man?
In this case the realm of Yin and Yang would be achieved.
It's false axiom that the concept of yin and yang infer can only exist in "functionality". Functionality is a reletive term. What is the norm? Normal is a setting on a washing machine dial.
In conclusion, if 2 people can accept their human condition and their pathologies are mutally benificial then it's on like Donkey Kong! Doesn't mean it will last though.
We will lose our life on earth eventually. Fear not fair maidens...this is but kinnygarden. There's much more to come. We can petition the powers that be to serve in first grade with the mate we had in kinnygarden if that's any comfort.
Always remember, we were created to evolve. Or else there woud be no need for the creation of the subsequent.
Peace.