Are any of you turned on by Jealousy? There are a good number of things that turn me on, but nothing more so than my own jealousy. For instance, in any situation (or fantasy) in which I imagine or perceive my gf to be turned on by another guy, I get really... really hot. Nothing has turned me on so much before. Sometimes I wonder if it has to do with my own insecurities. I don't know why I'm so into it. To be honest, it kind of confuses me because I HATE being jealous. It's an awful feeling that I never want to think about... except that it turns me the fuck on. It's like being turned on by physical pain (which I'm not ).
What do you guys think?
yeah, I can relate to this. I also hate being jealous, but the thought of my gf fucking another guy makes me simultaneously angry and horny. Maybe it's a little masochistic, I dunno.
Sex Love & Relationships
nail, bang, head
Originally Posted by RhythmSpring
interesting . do you show your jealousy ? like do you complain to her when you get jealous or do you keep it to yourself ?
i think this is typically known as cuckholding or at least some variation of. are you normally sexually submissive or do you enjoy sexual humiliation? have you told your girlfriend about this?
people are usually turned on by their partners being turned on. that you imagine what turns her on is totally normal. for instance, i get turned on by porn and my boyfriend gets turned on by me getting turned on by porn. really, what's the difference between our scenarios other than stimuli?
there's nothing wrong with you or this fantasy and depending on your comfort level, i'd encourage you to explore it further. maybe start slow by asking your girlfriend to describe a guy that got her excited. but always, always know that this is a game she plays with YOU and at the end of the day it's YOU who she comes home to, YOU who really gets her going and YOU who sexually fulfills her.
I'm not into submission or humiliation or anything. I think it IS just the fact that I perceive it to turn her on, which turns me on a lot. That's why I wonder if it has anything to do with insecurities. I'm, in essence, imagining that someone else turns her on more than me, and, sexually, I seem to believe it.
Originally Posted by Fawkes
(I haven't talked to her about this because the relationship is over... I just said "my gf" to make the explanation a bit more simple. And I've had this in my head for more than just one girl :P ... I usually just keep the jealousy to myself, though, as there's no reason I should be jealous or paranoid. It's more of a gut feeling.)
That's a really interesting post. I found myself in a similiar situation in the last year, and was really surprised by my physical reaction. I found pictures of an ex sucking off some dude online (with another chick too boot). I'm not any kind of swinger, and definitely wouldn't be into cuckolding in real life, but I rubbed more out to those pictures than anything previously, and it was definitely the jealousy that was a part of it.
For me it's something I think is just a turn on in fantasy land, When I think about how I reacted when I found out she was cheating on me, well it definitely wasn't a turn on. There's no deception involved in the pictures, I'm not getting cheated on, the relationships over, which somehow gives the jealousy a different feeling than before.
Not in the slightest.
How would you feel if you came home and your girlfriend was fucking some guy?
Or perhaps if she wanted a 3some with one of your best friends?
Would you do it?
Being turned on by jealousy is a common dysfunctional adaptation to emotional truama. We seldom cope funtionally to experiences that shock our perception of reality and disrupt the comfort of the habit of the normal that we know.
The cross all of us humans bear is loss. Whether it's seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, love, loved ones or ultimately our lives.
We don't like loss and try to control it to get it to stop. But to no avail as time and life march on.
The pathology of turning jealousy into horniness is the brains way of turning a bad thing into a good thing. It hurts to think that the one we want adoring us exclusively can possibly find another or the thought of another stimulating. Which may possibly lead to rejection and abandonment. Which is LOSS. And a severe blow to the ego. Which in and of itself is loss. A switch from being proud an selfconfident to crushed and humiliated.
I know of which I speak as I have the same pathology.
Pathologies like all other things in our world have seasons that must play out. For anything to finish it must experience a life span of acualities and then death. Things don't really die though. They simply evolve to a higher form. To remain a healthy personality the trick is for or understand of this evolution to evolve as well.
The first step in becoming healthy minded is the acceptance of the self as having this pathology. And forgiveness of the self for not realizing it earlier and foregivess of the self for any damage to others in our wake up til now.
I have much damage in my wake. But it's ok. It's just life. We're all fucked up. Some try to understand it. Some ain't got there yet. Some never will. Not in this lifetime anyway. They will eventually.
The question remains however. Would you consiser your pathology a bad thing if you were with a woman whose pathology was such that the most powerful orgasm she could have comes from being watched by her man surrendering to another man?
In this case the realm of Yin and Yang would be achieved.
It's false axiom that the concept of yin and yang infer can only exist in "functionality". Functionality is a reletive term. What is the norm? Normal is a setting on a washing machine dial.
In conclusion, if 2 people can accept their human condition and their pathologies are mutally benificial then it's on like Donkey Kong! Doesn't mean it will last though.
We will lose our life on earth eventually. Fear not fair maidens...this is but kinnygarden. There's much more to come. We can petition the powers that be to serve in first grade with the mate we had in kinnygarden if that's any comfort.
Always remember, we were created to evolve. Or else there woud be no need for the creation of the subsequent.
cuckolding is the stereotype put on this activity. It does not infer the reason for the pleasure gained.
It does not make a man a cuckold if his woman gets off on being watched. It makes him a man that loves his woman enough to allow her to get her fix despite the supposed restrictions of "monogamy".
This tends to make the bond between the 2 much, much greater because they serve the others pathologies. As apposed to all the negative aspects in the contrary.
QFT FTW poly-whatever
Originally Posted by FlipFlop75
Whatever? That's the extent of your intellectual opposition to my opinion on becoming horny through jealousy?
Let's hear your opinion.
I am gay and my boyfriend is bi....the thought of catching him fucking a female makes me furious and also HOT....WTF?
Perhaps this is an emerging form of emotional masochism.
Awesome post and most probably the best description one can get.
Originally Posted by FlipFlop75
I have additional observations, that can be indicators of such coping reactions to "betrayal" (in the view of the partner, that took for granted, that they are in a monogamic relationship) :
- if you imagine your partner getting sexually involved with another person you memorize your first sexual encounters with your partner, when their body has yet to be discovered, back when it was something special, so it is exciting to you
- you imagine the scene out of the perspective of their new partner, you transcend it into a porno-movie and reduce your partner to the fleshy envelope
I think it is a good way of the mind to kill any deep connections with a person, that does not want them. It accelerates the process of separation between two (currently) incompatible souls.