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  • Trip Reports Moderator: Xorkoth

Methamphetamine - First Time - 3 weeks of meth use took my soul

SunThatShines

Ex-Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 4, 2011
Messages
66
A little bit about me.

Before Meth use:

21 yrs old.
6ft. 160 lbs (Swimmers body with Pecs and abs) I worked out often, ate healthy (protein shakes etc.)
People always said I looked like "Ian Somerhalder" and should be a model. (HA!)
Had a lovely girlfriend that cared about me a lot.
Had goals,ambitions, and was about to start college.

I started using meth about a month ago max. Maybe more like 3 weeks ago.
Anyways, I tried it...Enjoyed it, felt way confident, happy as hell, nothing could piss me off, Life was just amazing! I felt that it made me a better person, and improved me. I tried it the first time...Enjoyed it..then did it again 2 days later, then I did it the day after that, then before I realized it, I was pawning things like my computer,digital camera etc. to get money for the drug...(WOW!) this shit is not like ANY other drug on the planet. I've taken benzo's before and was able to control myself on them and not get addicted, only smoked weed occasionally etc. The best way I can explain meth is this.... The smoke,crystals etc. are little demons and once they cross the blood brain barrier, they will live there and MAKE you do the craziest shit just to satisfy them by getting more of the drug.



After about 3 weeks of Meth use:

Lost 10 lbs. (no more pecs, my arms are thin, I lost over a years worth of hard working putting on muscle) :(

Acne like crazy! (On my face, shoulders, back, and even forearms!)

Lost my girlfriend (I stopped spending time with her, the drugs were more important, and while high on the drug I didn't care that she left me because meth was my new romance.)

No goals or ambitions..My hobbies don't interest me anymore, my only goal was to either score more of the drug or to stay high. No interest in finding a job or starting school anymore.

Pawned the following objects for the drug: laptop,camera,silver bracelet,diamond dog tag necklace,cell phone,dvds etc.

My sleeping schedule is wack now, I usually go to bed when people are usually waking up! wtf! :X which means of course I'm sleeping while people are working and making a nice living, and Wake up usually when people are getting off work.

I'm not sure but I feel like my teeth are suffering already. (not sure though).

I'm pale as fuck, probably due to not being awake during daylight hours, plus dehydration that the drug brings with it. (I drank TONS of water though.)

.....

As you can see, 3 weeks of using this drug (crystal methamphetamine) fucked me!!

how can a drug do this? how can it literally change your personality and erase all the things you cared about...The answer is simple, the drug causes your brain to release dopamine, so instead of having to work for accomplishment/achievment and then feel good about completing or doing something good for you, all you have to do is take a hit and you get the feeling of satisfaction right away.

I wanted to make a thread so people can see what this shit can do to you. (yes I know there's meth commercials and the sterotype shit, but seriously this stuff will take your soul and feed it to the devil.)

I'm now struggling to get off the drug....No physical withdrawl effects, just mental.... And what makes it hard is to be sober and then realize all the dumb shit you did while high for that amount of time, and how badly you damaged your life....You get so depressed because of that, and thats why you want to relapse because you dont want to cope/deal with the damage you did while on the drug.

I know some people can use meth once or twice and not get addicted, and some people claim to use it occasionally....That's great, but seriously your playing fire...better yet, your playing with something hotter, your playing with LAVA! ! !

my plan to kick the drug, and fix my life:

Stop using the drug, and realize I did do damage to my life, and fix it....get a job,start college, start eating healthy and hitting the gym again....And show my now EX that I just was in a place for a few weeks (she doesn't know i was on drugs). . . then maybe she'll come back....who knows.


Anyways, has anybody else on bluelight ever had meth/stimulants fuck there life up so quickly? And if so, how did you kick the habit and get back to normal?

(I know about tyrosine,5htp,eating lots of protein etc. for easing the comedown).


P.S. Is there a good way to clear up my acne besides for proactive,aquagena, and the typical facial wash's ? because I have sensitive skin and usually just washed my face with water and never had acne prior to meth use

I hope this thread gets the attention it needs to hopefully prevent people from losing they're loved ones, and themselves.

Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_methamphetamine
substancecode_meth
substancecode_amphetamines
explevel_firsttime
exptype_negative
exptype_lifechanging
exptype_addiction
roacode_smoked
roacode_inhaled
 
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i honestly dont know why you keep making thread after thread about the same thing , the mods must love you

http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/showthread.php?t=568289

http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/showthread.php?t=568937

http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/showthread.php?t=569153

http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/showthread.php?t=570286

I hope this thread gets the attention it needs to hopefully prevent people from losing they're loved ones, and themselves.

It will, by getting moved most likely , sounds more like a trip report

anyway sounds like uv learned your lesson about crystal meth so dont so it again ;)
 
Don't do meth for extended periods! It is a very powerful stimulant, using to excess like you describe is asking for trouble.
 
Pegasus' point is well made here.

I moved this to Trip Reports and corrected the title for you. Next time please read the links in my signature, Other Drugs isn't there for trip reports.

Also, if you pawned your laptop how did you post this?
 
Pegasus' point is well made here.

I moved this to Trip Reports and corrected the title for you. Next time please read the links in my signature, Other Drugs isn't there for trip reports.

Also, if you pawned your laptop how did you post this?

I had two laptops... Im using my old one (its not that old, but not as badass as the one I pawned) .

Anyways, thanks for moving it..

And in regards to the "countless" threads...I'm not being annoying or trying to bother people by doing so, if anything I'm pretty sure I'm interesting some folks (hence the reason people post on my threads). Dont be a dick about it, this is a forum site If I was posting the same thread about the same thing then okay, but its about different topics.....
I'm trying to help myself, and help other people.

I've been here on BL for YEARS (this is a new ID) I'm aware of the rules, and I did not break them, atleast not lately :p
 
Crafty and Shiny, If you'd like to discuss this further, please do so in PM's :)
 
I had similar thoughts when I first used stimulants (mdpv in my case). The realisation that I was not immune to or 'above' a rapidly destructive addiction was a shock for me too.

Then I saw that only I have the ability to fuck my life up - all I'd done was to find a quick & enjoyable way to do so. The choice is ultimately mine - if I wanted to destroy myself I'd do so with or without drugs. I think you're doing yourself a disservice by saying things like 'meth took my soul' or 'meth fucked me up'.

You probably already know all this though good luck fixing things <3 You'll probably look back on this in 10 years and laugh. If nothing else you've learnt from this experience.
 
Edit-Not very constructive and no need to be harsh-I mean meth can definitely be incredibly addictive, but you're talkin about three weeks. Twenty one fuckin days and you're already pawning shit, getting dumped by your girl, giving up your hobbies. Give me a fuckin break. Just stop doing it then. Meth isn't capable of destroying your life on its own in less than a month. Your giving it way too much credit.
 
I've somehow never had a problem with meth although I can see its appeal. Somehow though, I've gotten carried away with the MDPV. I guess it's mainly the availability for me. Good luck man. If you really want your life back it's far from too late. I'd say if you stopped and started living life like before you used, then I'd say in another month you'd be 75 percent back to normal (hopefully including girlfriend).
 
Anyways, has anybody else on bluelight ever had meth/stimulants fuck there life up so quickly? And if so, how did you kick the habit and get back to normal?

Certainly not in three weeks... I think that must be some kind of record.

I've been using crystal meth for years, and other stimulants (speed, ecstasy, etc.) for many years before that. My life is fucked up, but I don't care. I have no intention of ever kicking the habit.
 
i did 2 weeks of meth then on 2nd week that saturday i went to the ER my heart was pounding like crazy they never left my side they thought i was going into cardiac arrest they released me like 8 hours later and gave me hydroxyzine 25mg for anxiety and they told me i had RAT PIOSON in my blood RAT POISON! hahahahaha that was a crazy weekend:)
that was last saturday so i moved on up to cocaine which doesnt keep me up all night :)
 
Edit-Not very constructive and no need to be harsh-I mean meth can definitely be incredibly addictive, but you're talkin about three weeks. Twenty one fuckin days and you're already pawning shit, getting dumped by your girl, giving up your hobbies. Give me a fuckin break. Just stop doing it then. Meth isn't capable of destroying your life on its own in less than a month. Your giving it way too much credit.

Man i really do agree with this quote here. Overly dramatic, some people seem to think its cool to tell everyone how 3 weeks of drug use took their soul... Three weeks man? Honestly you're at the tip of the ice berg, you think its bad now lol?

And you're dealing with a drug that isn't even physically addictive, so within 3 weeks you've lost all control and pawned belongings for some meth lol. Not because you wanted to avoid pain or withdrawal.... but just to purely get high, its not like you were shitting yourself and vommiting over yourself sick as fuck, and that motivated you to do such a loser, desperate act such as sell belongings for drugs, but nah you just didn't want to be sober. That shows huge immaturity, desparation, some people really cannot use drugs responsibly at all.

Seriously man if you're at this stage after a mere 3 weeks(which is equivilent to like a second in your overall drug career in general once all is said and done), get the fuck away from all drugs now because any of them will inevitably cause you to make bad decisions, like you have here after a mere 3 weeks of use. Thats nothing in the grand scheme of things, so if you're this bad this fast, well you can see whats happening here cant you.

But nah i cant help this thread is just drama. Just someone who wants to dicksize about how addicted they think they are.
 
But nah i cant help this thread is just drama. Just someone who wants to dicksize about how addicted they think they are.

pretty much.

i was hooked on speed and its a very dicksizing drug. all a lot of speedheads do (when they dont have speed) is talk about the size of their habit/great speed that ONLY they can get.

three weeks aint that long, just stop taking it and avoid your connects...

you decide
 
ha speed had the opposite effect on me and probably most others.

But why people feel the need to be so harsh and critical on this forum beats me.

lol ;)

you can be taking speed for weeks and manage to not pawn all your stuff. most speed addicts take what they can afford before a tolerance rapidly creeps up. the story here sounds like a binge the op didn't want to end and as such a lot of what happened could have been avoided through choice.

the op needs realistic advice. telling him its "not his fault etc." wont help him change his situation. he has to choose to remove meth from his life, sooner rather than later
 
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lol ;)

you can be taking speed for weeks and manage to not pawn all your stuff. most speed addicts take what they can afford before a tolerance rapidly creeps up. the story here sounds like a binge the op didn't want to end and as such a lot of what happened could have been avoided through choice.

the op needs realistic advice. telling him its "not his fault etc." wont help him change his situation. he has to choose to remove meth from his life, sooner rather than later

Yeah totally agree, just some people come on here to insult people rather than offer a bit of constructive criticism. He's obviously suffering from a bit of self pity, but we've all been there in one way or another so a gentle kick up the ass is needed more than a complete slating.
 
^Just out of curiosity can you point out(perhaps via PM if this is derailing the thread) where people have been insulting the OP and not providing some constructive criticism. Because maybe my perception is distorted, but i can only see people telling him the truth, i dont see anyone trying to insult the dude what are you even on about mate?

Sometimes the truth is ugly, most of the time it is. But as you seem to agree with, people need to be told straight up, and of course just insulting someone dosn't acheive anything, but i dont even see any of that here, so maybe you could point out the insulting parts so advice thats provided in the future will be of higher quality and relevance.
 
no shit. I do not like the piling on that is going on here. I have seen people get OWNED after their first hit and go downhill real fast.


I have heard of people who could do it socially. I have never MET anyone who could do it socially.

If you can't be nice, go score some dope and come back when you can, please.
 
no one is being nasty

they are telling it like it is

CHOOSE to stop taking meth, it was a concious CHOICE to pawn your stuff

just leave it alone and get some benzo's and sleep and eat for two weeks constantly

simple

i used to be hooked on speed daily for months in ever increasing breakfast lines and i took it socially at this last weekend, i can take it or leave it now so its not a case of one hit and your hooked, its often a case of having one hit and feeling that you want this new meth identity that it has created. do it long enough and you will see how horrible that identity is and then move on from it as a part of you as a person.

stop identifying wiht the drug- go to bed and get a mountain of valium to help you regain the sleep and appetite you sorely need. it will go a long way in helping you recover
 
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