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  • Trip Reports Moderator: Xorkoth

Methamphetamine - First Time - 3 weeks of meth use took my soul

Not sure how to use this site for sure. But I hope that your not still addicted to meth. I just wanted to encourage you to never give up. Half these people are being so negative but this drug does take your soul. We live in a sinful world. And the only way to get off this drug is to give your life to Christ. May seem like o she's a religious nut but I know god can help you. He's helped me with depression and hatred bitterness my own personal addictions. I've never been addicted to meth but addictions r addictions. Were slaves to them. It's a spiritual battle that can only be overcome through the power of Christ. All things are possible through Christ who strengthens me. He holds the key. We just gotta accept him into our lives. Bible says none can come unto the father except thru Jesus Christ. Sin seperates us from god. We gotta lay down our pride and accept Christ is the only way to live on this earth and make heaven our home one day. The devil will do anything to keep you separated from Christ. When Adam and eve sinned it caused a separation between man and god that can only be restored through jesus Christ(god in the flesh) he died on the cross for our sins and when we repent he will forgive us. And god will work in us until we die. And we must read the bible (his word) to understand god and you must create a relationship with him. My own dad is addicted to meth and it started with addictions to other things at first it all becomes bigger n bigger. Pleasure in sin only last for a season. God will comfort you. He did me. He saved me he saved MY brother from suicide kept my other brother from jail. Saved my mom. Saved my cousin who used to be on meth and weed all day everyday. He used to feel the power of demons and even liked it cuz he felt powerful himself. The devils real but he leads to death and destruction. God spoke to my cousin when he was laying on the floor dead and told him he better straighten up cuz he will go to hell.woke up messed up for a while linger and finally felt god calling him and Gave his life to god and now gods still working on him and he loves it. We all still struggle but its a lot better with god in it. Just repent of your sins. Ask god to show you what you need to do in any of your struggles. He'll show you. Just gotta believe and have patience. The devils gonna fight you til the end. But through Christ we can overcome anything when we go through our struggles so god can get the glory in the end. He deserves it. He's saved my life and my families. And I know he's changing my dad. Through all this I know I'm getting closer to god. Everything works out for good with God.. I thank him for my salvation cuz without him I'd be dead already myself. IMA pray for you.
Before Meth use: i

21 yrs old.
6ft. 160 lbs (Swimmers body with Pecs and abs) I worked out often, ate healthy (protein shakes etc.)
People always said I looked like "Ian Somerhalder" and should be a model. (HA!)
Had a lovely girlfriend that cared about me a lot.
Had goals,ambitions, and was about to start college.

I started using meth about a month ago max. Maybe more like 3 weeks ago.
Anyways, I tried it...Enjoyed it, felt way confident, happy as hell, nothing could piss me off, Life was just amazing! I felt that it made me a better person, and improved me. I tried it the first time...Enjoyed it..then did it again 2 days later, then I did it the day after that, then before I realized it, I was pawning things like my computer,digital camera etc. to get money for the drug...(WOW!) this shit is not like ANY other drug on the planet. I've taken benzo's before and was able to control myself on them and not get addicted, only smoked weed occasionally etc. The best way I can explain meth is this.... The smoke,crystals etc. are little demons and once they cross the blood brain barrier, they will live there and MAKE you do the craziest shit just to satisfy them by getting more of the drug.



After about 3 weeks of Meth use:

Lost 10 lbs. (no more pecs, my arms are thin, I lost over a years worth of hard working putting on muscle) :(

Acne like crazy! (On my face, shoulders, back, and even forearms!)

Lost my girlfriend (I stopped spending time with her, the drugs were more important, and while high on the drug I didn't care that she left me because meth was my new romance.)

No goals or ambitions..My hobbies don't interest me anymore, my only goal was to either score more of the drug or to stay high. No interest in finding a job or starting school anymore.

Pawned the following objects for the drug: laptop,camera,silver bracelet,diamond dog tag necklace,cell phone,dvds etc.

My sleeping schedule is wack now, I usually go to bed when people are usually waking up! wtf! :X which means of course I'm sleeping while people are working and making a nice living, and Wake up usually when people are getting off work.

I'm not sure but I feel like my teeth are suffering already. (not sure though).

I'm pale as fuck, probably due to not being awake during daylight hours, plus dehydration that the drug brings with it. (I drank TONS of water though.)

.....

As you can see, 3 weeks of using this drug (crystal methamphetamine) fucked me!!

how can a drug do this? how can it literally change your personality and erase all the things you cared about...The answer is simple, the drug causes your brain to release dopamine, so instead of having to work for accomplishment/achievment and then feel good about completing or doing something good for you, all you have to do is take a hit and you get the feeling of satisfaction right away.

I wanted to make a thread so people can see what this shit can do to you. (yes I know there's meth commercials and the sterotype shit, but seriously this stuff will take your soul and feed it to the devil.)

I'm now struggling to get off the drug....No physical withdrawl effects, just mental.... And what makes it hard is to be sober and then realize all the dumb shit you did while high for that amount of time, and how badly you damaged your life....You get so depressed because of that, and thats why you want to relapse because you dont want to cope/deal with the damage you did while on the drug.

I know some people can use meth once or twice and not get addicted, and some people claim to use it occasionally....That's great, but seriously your playing fire...better yet, your playing with something hotter, your playing with LAVA! ! !

my plan to kick the drug, and fix my life:

Stop using the drug, and realize I did do damage to my life, and fix it....get a job,start college, start eating healthy and hitting the gym again....And show my now EX that I just was in a place for a few weeks (she doesn't know i was on drugs). . . then maybe she'll come back....who knows.


Anyways, has anybody else on bluelight ever had meth/stimulants fuck there life up so quickly? And if so, how did you kick the habit and get back to normal?

(I know about tyrosine,5htp,eating lots of protein etc. for easing the comedown).


P.S. Is there a good way to clear up my acne besides for proactive,aquagena, and the typical facial wash's ? because I have sensitive skin and usually just washed my face with water and never had acne prior to meth use

I hope this thread gets the attention it needs to hopefully prevent people from losing they're loved ones, and themselves.

Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_methamphetamine
substancecode_amphetamines
substancecode_stimulants
explevel_firsttime
exptype_negative
exptype_healthissues
exptype_addiction
roacode_smoked
roacode_inhaled
 
Last edited by a moderator:
To the OP,

Don't be so dramatic. Three weeks of meth (ab)use didn't take your soul. Even if it did, you should treat dangerous drugs such as methamphetamine with more respect and behaviorally exhibit more personal self control next time.
 
Damn dude that sucks. Honestly if I were in your situation I would really make sure to never touch it again and if that's too difficult to do on your own, then maybe look into getting some help because 3 fuckin weeks aint shit and the fact that all that bad stuff you mentioned happened so quickly is pretty scary. I've been smoking shards daily (and still do) for almost 7 years (besides quitting for a few months like 3 or 4 times in between) and I've never once felt like "meth took my soul." Sorry hun but I really think it's time to throw in the towel. Good luck, hopefully things will get better and you're able to get your soul back=-)
 
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With that much use, his cognitive abilities are altered, experiencing loss of hope, ambition, and increased dependency . He looked at this as a miracle drug to make him a better person from the beginning. Imagine how much his perception has been altered, and the increased dependency, to sell all his shit for more. It's not nearly easy as you say it is, and for someone who isn't used to that level of depression, anxiety, loss of ambition, and paranoia, probably feels using more is the only way to cope, with cravings on top of that. You can experience psychosis within that period of time as well.It's not a position anyone is prepared to be in.
 
Good point. A lot of us types are used to all these shit feelings before using, be it physical, mental, or both. It's much easier for me to deal with the angst from a coke/mdma/opiate come down now, because I've had 14 years of battling anxiety, chronic pain, and depression. I guess most normal people aren't equipped with these shitty fucking skills lol.

Anyway I can see people getting pissed at such a dramatic post for practically living a day in the life, but everyone is different. Maybe he hasn't had to deal with the onslaught of negative stimuli and emotions that comes with a hardcore binge come-down like many of us are used to.

Strangely enough, there are people that have good lives. Feel bad for the emo kid, and I admit he was dramatic.and immature, but sounds like a "normal" person crossed into the darkside for a quick peak and lost it! Haha
Over and out.
 
I relate to this x100. I've always been anti drugs and had high expectations for myself, highly ambitious. However I went through a bad breakup and after being a heavy alcohol for 2 years, it no longer helped my pain and heart ache anymore. I was immensly suicidal over my ex boyfriend and so when was offered meth promised it would help me I jumped at it. Anything to take the pain away. 3 days after and my entire mind was taken over, I lost all cares for my self or my future. Would of sacrificed my life for a taste. 6 months later and I've cut back on it after near death experiences and experiencing severe psychosis from it. But now I feel numb. Empty. My soul has left me. I used to be the type of girl to cry and emphasize with anyone and everyone now I'm committing crime after crime each day stealing from strangers to make money and chasing other drugs. It's completely altered my way of thinking. The normal me would of been in a house and working and saving by now but I'm homeless, not caring, hustling, doing multiple drugs. I've turned into a liar, ive turned merciless. Pain is non existent to me. I can hurt anyone and not care, I can lie my way out of things. I can steal money for more drugs. I can't seem to go back to the way I used to be. I hope I do because I'm not touching meth again. It really is the most disgusting drug. And the worst part, I'm confident naturally but when i smoke it my confidence drops x100 and I become a sensitive mess. It's like I've swapped roles over? The insecure sensitive old me is trapped in the influence of drugs and naturally I'm a confident uncaring selfish human. I all I can say is fuck drugs. Wish you the best.
 
thats good saying right there i like that

Smoked the shit 5 or 6 times. Never saw how it was addicting? Hell I turned down the glass dick more than I smoked it.

Havent smoked it since last year, don't see why people like it. Turns you into a heartless fuck and makes you think you have no problems. And you lie to yourself.


8o thats a good point you have there it is very true i went through it vice versa
 
A little bit about me.

Before Meth use:

21 yrs old.
6ft. 160 lbs (Swimmers body with Pecs and abs) I worked out often, ate healthy (protein shakes etc.)
People always said I looked like "Ian Somerhalder" and should be a model. (HA!)
Had a lovely girlfriend that cared about me a lot.
Had goals,ambitions, and was about to start college.

I started using meth about a month ago max. Maybe more like 3 weeks ago.
Anyways, I tried it...Enjoyed it, felt way confident, happy as hell, nothing could piss me off, Life was just amazing! I felt that it made me a better person, and improved me. I tried it the first time...Enjoyed it..then did it again 2 days later, then I did it the day after that, then before I realized it, I was pawning things like my computer,digital camera etc. to get money for the drug...(WOW!) this shit is not like ANY other drug on the planet. I've taken benzo's before and was able to control myself on them and not get addicted, only smoked weed occasionally etc. The best way I can explain meth is this.... The smoke,crystals etc. are little demons and once they cross the blood brain barrier, they will live there and MAKE you do the craziest shit just to satisfy them by getting more of the drug.



After about 3 weeks of Meth use:

Lost 10 lbs. (no more pecs, my arms are thin, I lost over a years worth of hard working putting on muscle) :(

Acne like crazy! (On my face, shoulders, back, and even forearms!)

Lost my girlfriend (I stopped spending time with her, the drugs were more important, and while high on the drug I didn't care that she left me because meth was my new romance.)

No goals or ambitions..My hobbies don't interest me anymore, my only goal was to either score more of the drug or to stay high. No interest in finding a job or starting school anymore.

Pawned the following objects for the drug: laptop,camera,silver bracelet,diamond dog tag necklace,cell phone,dvds etc.

My sleeping schedule is wack now, I usually go to bed when people are usually waking up! wtf! :X which means of course I'm sleeping while people are working and making a nice living, and Wake up usually when people are getting off work.

I'm not sure but I feel like my teeth are suffering already. (not sure though).

I'm pale as fuck, probably due to not being awake during daylight hours, plus dehydration that the drug brings with it. (I drank TONS of water though.)

.....

As you can see, 3 weeks of using this drug (crystal methamphetamine) fucked me!!

how can a drug do this? how can it literally change your personality and erase all the things you cared about...The answer is simple, the drug causes your brain to release dopamine, so instead of having to work for accomplishment/achievment and then feel good about completing or doing something good for you, all you have to do is take a hit and you get the feeling of satisfaction right away.

I wanted to make a thread so people can see what this shit can do to you. (yes I know there's meth commercials and the sterotype shit, but seriously this stuff will take your soul and feed it to the devil.)

I'm now struggling to get off the drug....No physical withdrawl effects, just mental.... And what makes it hard is to be sober and then realize all the dumb shit you did while high for that amount of time, and how badly you damaged your life....You get so depressed because of that, and thats why you want to relapse because you dont want to cope/deal with the damage you did while on the drug.

I know some people can use meth once or twice and not get addicted, and some people claim to use it occasionally....That's great, but seriously your playing fire...better yet, your playing with something hotter, your playing with LAVA! ! !

my plan to kick the drug, and fix my life:

Stop using the drug, and realize I did do damage to my life, and fix it....get a job,start college, start eating healthy and hitting the gym again....And show my now EX that I just was in a place for a few weeks (she doesn't know i was on drugs). . . then maybe she'll come back....who knows.


Anyways, has anybody else on bluelight ever had meth/stimulants fuck there life up so quickly? And if so, how did you kick the habit and get back to normal?

(I know about tyrosine,5htp,eating lots of protein etc. for easing the comedown).


P.S. Is there a good way to clear up my acne besides for proactive,aquagena, and the typical facial wash's ? because I have sensitive skin and usually just washed my face with water and never had acne prior to meth use

I hope this thread gets the attention it needs to hopefully prevent people from losing they're loved ones, and themselves.

Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_methamphetamine
substancecode_meth
substancecode_amphetamines
explevel_firsttime
exptype_negative
exptype_lifechanging
exptype_addiction
roacode_smoked
roacode_inhaled
You really need to over it tbh I tried then crashed pretty hard and really went hard for months and I mean all out, Got to a point where it I just felt disgusting. Woke up one morning after a bender decided was over it and that was that, the mind is a powerful thing
 
Just came across this article, or whatever it is called lol, well I do recently mess with meth occasionally, what makes me not binge is how horrible you feel after ( unless you got like gabapentin, hydroxyzine, seroquel, or benzo's ) anyway that's not enough too make me continue use, too me personally meth feels soo fuckin gross! and at the same time feel fuckin great, meth is a disgusting high especially if you snort it.. anyways.. I can control myself. too all people in my own opinion, ( okay..) people who do meth binges, make something that can be awesome (occasionally) , turned into something soo gross and shitty.. no disrespect to anyone, hey maybe you can handle it, but not me. ( I like meth but not everyday.. ) it doesn't cut it for me.
 
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