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    I feel more alive/myself on meth...? 
    #1
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    When I was growing up I was a shy kid, never really liked getting into convo's with strangers.

    I'm a good looking guy (thats irrelevant), but i've still always had problems making friends, and the only girls i'd get just wanted me for my looks/appearence...Not because of my personality.


    When I'm sober and not on a stimulant (meth,adderall) I keep to myself, I have no motivation, no goals, and always feel depressed . (I dont feel this way because I'm addicted to meth or anything, ive felt this way before I ever did drugs).

    I tried adderall a few months ago and it made me more social, happier, motivated me to study and get goals for myself.

    When the drug wore off, im back to my same ol' self of unhappy,unmotivated and non social.


    I tried meth 3 weeks ago, and it makes me feel like I do on adderall, but a little better of course because its more potent.


    Anyways, is there something wrong with me? I only feel happy,confident, and social and have goals in life when im on a stimulant.


    I've tried to get an adderall prescription but doctors refuse to give me one(Probably because im a 21 year old male and they think i just want to abuse it.) But I seriously woudl benefiet from a prescription, but they dont care.


    What should I Do? I refuse to smoke meth all the time to feel Alive..... and i cant get addreall from anybody....

    So what do I do?

    I'm lost. . .
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    #2
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    You and everybody else.

    Try leading a healthy active lifestyle and getting those dopamine pathways going.
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    #3
    Yes. Exercise. It may be hard to get the motivation when you are already unmotivated and depressed but once you get into the cycle it should be a lot easier. It has proven to be just as effective for depression as antidepressants and will help a lot with motivation.

    I don't know if you did, but if you mentioned you want an adderall prescription because it makes you happy and social thats why you go turned down. Adderall is for ADHD (and narcolepsy) and symptoms of ADHD are not depression and problems with being social. Adderall is sometimes used for depression but I believe that is much less common Do some research online, to qualify for ADHD you need at least 6 of X number of symptoms in multiple settings ie. work, school, home. I'm not saying you should fake these to get a script but if they apply to you I'd suggest seeing another doctor and explain to him you think you may have ADHD. Many people don't realize they have AHDH until adulthood so you shouldn't get turned down just because you're 21. It's also best to not mention you want Adderall because that proves you have already abused it.

    If you don't have ADHD then you may have depression. Antidepressants are an option but as I said before exercise is usually just as helpful. Some natural options are kava root and st. johns wort. Kava is subtle but gives you a good feeling of contentment, allows you to focus, and makes you more sociable. St. john's wort is a natural antidepressant.

    I'd recommended seeing a psychiatrist, it may be expensive but it will be worth it. They hopefully will be able to tell what you are suffering from and either just give you verbal therapy or drugs to try and correct your chemical imbalance if you have one.

    One thing is for sure, you should not smoke anymore meth as you seem like you may be more susceptible than the normal person to addiction.

    Good luck man.
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    #4
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    I do "Excercise"... I'm actually a fan of weight lifting, mixed martial arts, and outdoor water sports..... I have an atheltic/swimmers body type, so I'm in great condition.


    It doesn't help.... Been doing it for over a year regularly.... It helps boost my confidence but does not make me more social/happy....

    Also, A psychiatrist is expensive, and If i saved up my money to go, and got declined I'd be so Fu&*ed.!
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    #5
    I'm saying even in they don't prescribe you drugs it can still be really beneficial. I don't have any personal experience but just going by the statistics, the average therapy client end ups up better off than 80% of untreated people.

    Its generally cost effective too in the long run. If you benefit from the therapy and become more motivated/happy then you may land better jobs, go to school ect. Maybe it'll even keep you from addicted to meth and living on the street. I don't know, just throwing that one out there. (Not saying you have a problem with meth)
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    #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by SunThatShines View Post
    I do "Excercise"... I'm actually a fan of weight lifting, mixed martial arts, and outdoor water sports..... I have an atheltic/swimmers body type, so I'm in great condition.


    It doesn't help.... Been doing it for over a year regularly.... It helps boost my confidence but does not make me more social/happy....

    Also, A psychiatrist is expensive, and If i saved up my money to go, and got declined I'd be so Fu&*ed.!
    You can get ADHD testing without going to a psychiatrist.

    This is what I would do before going to the psychiatrist, so that you can have documentation about the fact you have ADHD.

    From what it sounds like, I would guess you have ADHD.
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    #7
    Bluelighter grumpy w00kie's Avatar
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    How do you get tested for ADHD before seeing a psych??
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    #8
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    I don't just feel alive or myself on meth, I feel like I'm God.
    Meth twists and bends your mind into believing anything. All the confidence, feelings of power and mightiness, and you feel like nothing can touch you.

    It's a great feeling, sadly it's all a delusion.
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    #9
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    You're lying to yourself if you choose to believe you feel more like yourself on amphetamines. You feel like who you want to be. You're shy and it makes you outgoing. You're depressed and unmotivated, and it makes you confident and goal oriented. When I first started using, I convinced myself that it increased my personality traits. That it was bringing out my natural personality. The reality is that the amphetamine high is better than real life can ever get. Nothing releases that much dopamine in your brain naturally. So it is impossible to attain that level of motivation, extroversion, and delusional self confidence without using amphetamines.

    In the real world, work takes effort and self motivation. Your happiness is subjective, and it's way too complex of a subject to give any linear solution. Figure it out for yourself, but amphetamine is a very bad solution, believe me. I started taking adderall my first year of college, a year later, I got addicted to meth and ended up losing my scholarship and got kicked out of school. And my mindset was very similar to yours going into it.
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    #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by grumpy w00kie View Post
    How do you get tested for ADHD before seeing a psych??
    You can find a licensed clinician who is willing to do testing. A general practitioner referred me to one, then I found a psychiatrist after being diagnosed.

    Quote Originally Posted by kokaino View Post
    I don't just feel alive or myself on meth, I feel like I'm God.
    Meth twists and bends your mind into believing anything. All the confidence, feelings of power and mightiness, and you feel like nothing can touch you.

    It's a great feeling, sadly it's all a delusion.
    I never had that sensation to be honest, I probably have greater delusions of grandeur on psychedelics. I'm not the best judge of myself to be honest though.

    Quote Originally Posted by Juice. View Post
    You're lying to yourself if you choose to believe you feel more like yourself on amphetamines. You feel like who you want to be. You're shy and it makes you outgoing. You're depressed and unmotivated, and it makes you confident and goal oriented. When I first started using, I convinced myself that it increased my personality traits. That it was bringing out my natural personality. The reality is that the amphetamine high is better than real life can ever get. Nothing releases that much dopamine in your brain naturally. So it is impossible to attain that level of motivation, extroversion, and delusional self confidence without using amphetamines.

    In the real world, work takes effort and self motivation. Your happiness is subjective, and it's way too complex of a subject to give any linear solution. Figure it out for yourself, but amphetamine is a very bad solution, believe me. I started taking adderall my first year of college, a year later, I got addicted to meth and ended up losing my scholarship and got kicked out of school. And my mindset was very similar to yours going into it.
    I disagree; you can feel like yourself on meth or d-amphetamine, especially if one has ADHD. Whether or not this is the case for you I couldn't say.

    From my understanding about ADHD and how stimulants work, people who have ADHD have a higher dopamine level endogenously when compared to people who are "normal". For normal people, meth or d-amp will increase the dopamine in your brain, whereas for me, it doesn't, it actually lowers it.

    Strictly taking dopamine blockers is worse; as there are unwanted extrapyramidal side effects.

    Whether or not this is the case, it makes sense to me as I am actually quite relaxed on d-amp normally and most of the time. I don't get highly stimulated off of it, nor do I find it all that addictive. I have been using it daily for a while now, minus a few drug holidays where I feel even better off the medication than I do on it, and I wouldn't say that I feel more like myself off the medication. Before I started using d-amp I was a mess.
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    #11
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    i had this, but on pre-ban mephedrone. i felt so damn sharp, alive, myself. but eventually it made me a shadow of my former self
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    #12
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    I have the same problem with being shy, have no motivation to socialize, keeping to myself all the time and as a result feeling depressed. I never have get any girls or have sex even though that's the only thing I really want from the world (a girl to love and give/receive affection and sex with).

    Anyway, I also find this can be fixed with drugs. Either amphetamines or opiates, they both work. However, I much prefer opiates because I hate coming down off amphetamines and not being able to sleep.

    Either way though, I am still not satisfied. I don't like needing a drug to sociallize. I hate it. If there is a way to get over this problem without drugs, I'd highly recommend that instead.

    I also refuse to become a drug addict again, at least in the physical sense which means there are many days I take no opiates. On these days I try to avoid the people i socialize with when on opiates because I don't want them to see how introverted I am naturally. It's not a good life in my opinion.
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    #13
    Bluelighter Z Y G G Y's Avatar
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    If you'd benefit from a script then get one.

    Just because you got turned down by one doctor doesn't mean you'll never get it. My doctor, who's an addiction specialist and was treating me for opiate abuse, scripted me stimulants at some point to see if they will help. They didn't for me, but I'm just illustrating a point here. I have chronic pain and stimulants increase my pain tremendously, even thou I certainly have something like ADD.

    So try your luck with different doctors and get evaluated for ADD.

    Also, how about some supplements like tyrosine, tryptophan, vit D and B complex. I also suffer from low energy and I found a diet that helps tremendously. Some foods might not work well with you and cuz your energy problems. I do good when I cut these foods out of my menu: bread, flour, most fruit except berries, sweets, soda, milk (but not dairy). What works with me is a balance of about 25% carbs that come mostly from veggies, 25% protein from meat and nuts and 50% fat from specific ones not all. When I eat like that I feel like I am on amphetamines without all the negative side effects.

    So if you exercise already try adjusting your diet. It makes such a difference, but its really difficult to keep up because old habits are hard to get rid of.
    Last edited by Z Y G G Y; 27-04-2011 at 21:49.
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    #14
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    ZYGGY - I am sorry that stimulants increase your pain drastically, that is very sad.

    I personally don't notice this effect, although my source of acute pain which was slowly moving from excruciating to mild/moderate now a days is probably hard to test this theory on, I didn't notice any more pain from taking d-amp or any less pain from abstaining from it.

    It might depend on what the source of the pain is?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Captain.Heroin View Post
    I disagree; you can feel like yourself on meth or d-amphetamine, especially if one has ADHD. Whether or not this is the case for you I couldn't say.

    From my understanding about ADHD and how stimulants work, people who have ADHD have a higher dopamine level endogenously when compared to people who are "normal". For normal people, meth or d-amp will increase the dopamine in your brain, whereas for me, it doesn't, it actually lowers it.

    Strictly taking dopamine blockers is worse; as there are unwanted extrapyramidal side effects.

    Whether or not this is the case, it makes sense to me as I am actually quite relaxed on d-amp normally and most of the time. I don't get highly stimulated off of it, nor do I find it all that addictive. I have been using it daily for a while now, minus a few drug holidays where I feel even better off the medication than I do on it, and I wouldn't say that I feel more like myself off the medication. Before I started using d-amp I was a mess.
    Don't get me wrong, I definitely agree that you can "feel like yourself" on amphetamine, it's a natural feeling that the majority of amphetamine users are accustomed to and experience, including me. My point is that if we were to be honest with ourselves, it's clearly delusional to believe that we're more like how we "really" are on amps, as our dopamine system is being stimulated beyond any level we can ever hope to reach naturally. If you do have a genuine case of ADHD, does d-amp make you feel more motivated? More confident? I'm curious.
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    #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Juice. View Post
    Don't get me wrong, I definitely agree that you can "feel like yourself" on amphetamine, it's a natural feeling that the majority of amphetamine users are accustomed to and experience, including me. My point is that if we were to be honest with ourselves, it's clearly delusional to believe that we're more like how we "really" are on amps, as our dopamine system is being stimulated beyond any level we can ever hope to reach naturally. If you do have a genuine case of ADHD, does d-amp make you feel more motivated? More confident? I'm curious.
    The reason why I say this is it's not so much a feeling but an actuality. It's easier for me to interact with people, it's easier for me to form sentences and articulate them. Without d-amp I am often at a loss for being able to form thoughts, specifically talk smoothly. Even when I am not anxious and around people, people I feel totally comfortable and confident around, it can be hard to speak. At times I may say words that are off by one letter, I might just mis-pronounce words without even noticing I'm doing this until it's happening, etc.

    On the medication, this simply doesn't happen.

    D-amp is probably more likely to make me self-conscious, so I would have to say I feel more confident off of the drug, but there isn't a large difference.

    More motivated to do things? I think my motivation is about the same either way. I'm just more able to do things on d-amp. Without the medication I am more likely to be overwhelmed by a seemingly infinite list of things to do, and when I'm on the medication, I just do them without thinking much about it.

    I'm not actually deluding myself here, I know all of this from experience. I just believe that stimulants don't effect me the same way as people without ADHD. I think that most people who have a legitimate case of ADHD, have less of an incentive to abuse dexedrine. It's a less rewarding medication, it has less effect on me.

    I have also noticed that I don't need insomnia medications when I take dexedrine; any hypersomnia/insomnia that I experience without the medication is gone when I'm on it.

    As long as my schedule allows for it, I can always go to sleep at night, and I never over-sleep on the medication.

    Without the medication, I can stay up for 2 days at a time, or sleep in for 12+ hours. Sleeping medication by itself does not work well for me, and I tend to over-sleep on benzodiazepines, except when I take 7.5mg of temazepam I will get 7 hours of sleep. If I take 15mg of temazepam, I'm sleeping in at least 12 hours at a time.

    Finally, I have noticed that before I started on dexedrine, I could literally stare people in the face watching them talk, only to notice I haven't been paying attention for a while. The inattentive features of ADHD are the worst for me. I have had to, in the past, ask people to repeat themselves 2 or 3 times over until it'll "sink in".

    On the medication - I have no such issues. I'll carry on several minute long conversations with neighbors, with people who work at stores I'll go to, and so on.

    Because of all of these things, I really do believe I feel more like myself on d-amphetamine.
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    #17
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    Just so you know...

    if you're thinkin about getting into amps full time be prepared for these loved-up feel good effects to go away rather quickly
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    #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cone View Post
    Just so you know...

    if you're thinkin about getting into amps full time be prepared for these loved-up feel good effects to go away rather quickly
    This is true Cone. This is why I still take breaks from my medication. If I go a whole day without taking it, I get the same effects you described again.

    I believe it goes away quicker and takes longer to come back for non-ADHD people, although this may not be true? I'm not exactly sure.
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    #19
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    Try taking an L-Tyrosine supplement...it's like 5-HTP for the dopamine system.

    L-Tyrosine --> L-DOPA --> Dopamine

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    #20
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    wow sounds like you did meth.... and felt the effects. no. fuckin. way.
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    #21
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    I would wager I've said lots more stupid and sometimes even endangering things under the influence of meth despite feeling like I was a logical, well-intentioned person (or god as has been described) the entire high - way more than I have with even alcohol intoxication. Your sense of having self-awareness along with chemically-induced increased confidence in yourself cannot really coexist as two absolute truths. It also decreases my anxiety all along with that, the relief of which I'm sure magnifies the tendency to talk before I think. I prefer taking it when other people are also taking it with me, because we're all on the same level of social sense. Never had a bad experience in that regard, no aggression and those I use with seem more willing to look past whatever crap I may accidentally say due to the fact they're probably more focused on their turn to talk.
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    #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Z Y G G Y View Post
    If you'd benefit from a script then get one.

    Just because you got turned down by one doctor doesn't mean you'll never get it. My doctor, who's an addiction specialist and was treating me for opiate abuse, scripted me stimulants at some point to see if they will help. They didn't for me, but I'm just illustrating a point here. I have chronic pain and stimulants increase my pain tremendously, even thou I certainly have something like ADD.

    So try your luck with different doctors and get evaluated for ADD.

    Also, how about some supplements like tyrosine, tryptophan, vit D and B complex. I also suffer from low energy and I found a diet that helps tremendously. Some foods might not work well with you and cuz your energy problems. I do good when I cut these foods out of my menu: bread, flour, most fruit except berries, sweets, soda, milk (but not dairy). What works with me is a balance of about 25% carbs that come mostly from veggies, 25% protein from meat and nuts and 50% fat from specific ones not all. When I eat like that I feel like I am on amphetamines without all the negative side effects.

    So if you exercise already try adjusting your diet. It makes such a difference, but its really difficult to keep up because old habits are hard to get rid of.
    I dont have insurence, so I'm only able to go to this hospital that has a built in doctors office that allows people with no insurence/low income's to go to, which may be why the doctors look at me like im just trying to get high off the medication....Because all the druggies/homeless people go there sense its doctors office that accepts no insurence/people who cant pay for there medical... It really pisses me off though, because my friend has an adderall prescription and he legitametly does NOT need it, he just abuses it and sells it .. There's also a waiting list to get in to see a doctor (normally 3 months), and i've been there twice already and saw 2 different doctors and when I went in for the second time the doctor looked at my info in the computer and noticed I was seen by another doctor and I told him that the other doctor wouldn't treat me so I was hoping he could evaluate me and treat me...Guess what happened? He did a BS evaluation and said that sence I dont have insurence he cant prescribe me any medication, which is total BS (I think?) also, this is the doctor who said he wont prescribe me any stimulant unless I have papers saying I've been tested for ADHD,because its a scheduled substance. (I cant afford the adhd testing, its expensive.) So if I go back for the 3rd time, they will be curious why i keep seeing so many doctors when none of them will treat me..they will think im drug searching..


    I still need advice/help..
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    Normal of not? 
    #23
    Hi~ I am wondering if it normal for someone to throw up after ingesting meth? my friend got really hot, and threw up like the exorcist. I'm wondering if that's normal and what should I do if it gets worse... any help?
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    #24
    BL Ambassador Captain.Heroin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by idunnonemore View Post
    Hi~ I am wondering if it normal for someone to throw up after ingesting meth? my friend got really hot, and threw up like the exorcist. I'm wondering if that's normal and what should I do if it gets worse... any help?
    Yeah it's probably normal. I don't remember vomiting on methamphetamine, but it's something I've done from IVing d-amphetamine alone. Especially if you IV it, there's a ton of nausea that hits you like a brick wall.

    What ROA did you use?

    I wouldn't use more, ride it out. You might have dosed too high.
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    Quote Originally Posted by sekio View Post
    You and everybody else.
    Try leading a healthy active lifestyle and getting those dopamine pathways going.
    Yes, I believe that stimulants affect people similarly to the way you have described.

    Do not let stimulants drive you to be "normal", for you will eventually fall from your high.

    Exercise, eat healthily, make good friends where the caring is mutual, and laughing a lot are the best ways for you to feel better without pills or crystals or whatever. Hope this helped
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