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    How do you deal with girlfriend hanging out with other guys? 
    #1
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    Red face
    For example: My girlfriend is friends with her co-worker. He's 10 years older then my girlfriend and myself (we are both in early 20's), and the co-worker is married and has kids.

    Now my girlfriend tells me she's friends with him, he got her a bday present (gift card to a restaurant). and they talk on facebook. (he does not have her number she tells me).


    Now, im thinking they MIGHT hang out sometime.... Which is strange to me, he's married with children...Do some guys actually just want to HANGOUT and be friendly!? I think all guys act like friends so they can get close enough to her to either have sex with the girl, or to be in a relationship with her....


    How do you deal with jelousy, and your girlfriend hanging out with other guys?

    I trust my girlfriend, but im unemployeed and have no money and she told me that bothers her, so that may be why im insecure....But i am a great looking guy if that matters

    How do I deal with this? Is it wrong for her to be going out and hanging out with this guy since im dating her and he's 10 years older, married with kids?

    what does he want from her? does he REALLY just want to be friends? Im thinking deep down he wants her!

    Ugh , i hate it.

    Help?
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    #2
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    It seems you have jealousy issues. so he works with her, they hang out sometimes, and he talks to her on facebook sometimes. He also doesn't have her number and he is married with kids.

    Probably the chances are that he is just been friendly with someone he works with.

    I let my girlfriend hang out with other guys, she is entitled too. I trust her, and I know that she would be faithful should a guy bust a move on her (and it happens as she is quite attractive).

    You obviously have some insecurities about this. I wouldn't hassle her aobut it too much as it is the kind of thing that can break up relationships.
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    #3
    Bluelight Crew Beatlebot's Avatar
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    This guy probably does want to fuck your girlfriend. Your girlfriend probably thinks he is safe to hang out with because he's married and has kids. It's quite possible they will hang out together at some kind of work related function. They may end up drinking together and he may even hit on her.

    What do you think your girlfriend would do if this guy hit on her?
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    #4
    Bluelighter Lysis's Avatar
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    She needs to ask this "friend" if his wife knows. I'm tellin ya, the wife has no clue and would not be happy if she found out.
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    #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by SunThatShines View Post
    Do some guys actually just want to HANGOUT and be friendly!?
    speaking as a straight, unattached male with female friends: yes. it's pretty rare that guys legitimately befriend a girl planning to make a move on her down the line. personally, if i were into a girl, my dick just wouldn't allow me to be patient enough to befriend her under false pretenses and play the long con. i think society paints a pretty grim picture of men's intentions, the perception of which often causes more problems than men's real intentions could.

    i wouldn't worry about it, if i were you. you can't do anything at this point but hurt the situation; trust is not something you can enforce. if she does end up hanging out with the guy and doesn't want you present, then that will be the time to play your WTF card.
    Cannabis Anxiety & Paranoia Megathread || Synth Cannabinoid Megathread || “We're the middle children of history, man; no purpose or place”
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    #6
    Bluelighter MissZee's Avatar
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    I'm unsure on how to answer.

    On one hand, I have a lot of male friends. I generally get on better with men for some reason, but I wouldn't ever expect one of them to come onto me. If they did I would be absolutely stunned.

    On the other hand - My Dad's friend, who is married and has kids, became friendly with me. And after about a month he started making his intentions quite clear. Even though I was single, I just didn't want to do it.

    It's all your insecurities, really. I can understand, but if you trusted her enough you wouldn't have a problem with this.
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    #7
    Bluelighter Lysis's Avatar
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    Sorry, but a married man with kids does not just "hang out" with a single, attractive girl 10 years younger than he is. Inappropriate.
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysis View Post
    Sorry, but a married man with kids does not just "hang out" with a single, attractive girl 10 years younger than he is. Inappropriate.
    EXACTLY. this guy is shady. if you think you're sketched out, imagine what his wife would think if she found out about this.

    otherwise, i think a good criteria in terms of whether or not to trust a guy's intentions with your girlfriend is how hard he tries to spend time alone with her. is he glad to hang out as a group, or does he get pouty and possessive when the three of you are together?
    Last edited by double ewe; 07-05-2012 at 22:58.
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    #9
    Bluelighter Z Y G G Y's Avatar
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    Smells fishy to me.

    Why don't you invite him over and hang out, the three of you so that you get a better sense of the situation. Ask him to bring his wife along, lol.
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    #10
    Inappropriate.
    huh? the guy just might be picking up weed from younger people at work, so what.
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    #11
    My girlfriend has several guys she chats with from time to time...they are friends that predate me and they chat from time to time...who knows really how much, i'll never know unless i go through her phone or hack her facebook, or god forbid, trust what she says.

    its not easy my friend, but if you love the girl and you trust that she loves you, there is nothing you can do but trust. now that doesnt mean you turn a blind eye. that doesnt mean that if she disappears or starts staying late at work a lot that you dont get curious about where she is and maybe ask....but, if this is what she wants to do AND ITS OK WITH YOU, then you have to let it go. you come off as paranoid and insecure if shes not doing anything with him...and if she isss doing something with him, well, then shes an ass.

    ok so if shes chatting with him, sit down next to her while shes chatting and see what happens, if she all of a sudden stops or hides it or doesnt seem to want to show you, well...idk...
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    #12
    Bluelighter artic's Avatar
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    I am a single heterosexual male who doesn't have a problem being JUST friends with attractive heterosexual women, but I understand that I am in the minority here. Definitely keep an eye on that situation. Honestly, you'd need to hang out with both of them more than once to get a gauge on that situation. I've had guys hit on a girl I was with right in front of me, but more often they will wait until you are out of the room or whatever. I think what you really need to ask yourself is why should you care? Do you think that your girlfriend WOULD fuck this guy? It takes two to tango. If you trust her you have nothing to worry about. If you don't, you might be better off finding a new girl anyway.
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    #13
    I also had a similar situation to you when my gf and i first started going out, except the guy was only 2 years older than us. i trust my girlfriend however it still bugged the hell out of me especially because i knew she was just being friendly while he definitely wanted to get into her pants.

    in the end i decided to always join her when they hung out which she didn't mind at all of course, and i tried to show a bit of extra affection to her when we were out.

    so my advice is try to join them when they hang out and mark your territory infront of him!
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    #14
    Bluelighter rincewindrocks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by artic View Post
    I think what you really need to ask yourself is why should you care? Do you think that your girlfriend WOULD fuck this guy? It takes two to tango. If you trust her you have nothing to worry about. If you don't, you might be better off finding a new girl anyway.
    qft
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    #15
    Quote Originally Posted by Z Y G G Y View Post
    Smells fishy to me.

    Why don't you invite him over and hang out, the three of you so that you get a better sense of the situation. Ask him to bring his wife along, lol.
    great idea..
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    #16
    Bluelight Crew StrutterGear's Avatar
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    Disfigure her so nobody else wants her. Fucking kidding, trust goes both ways man. If you dont trust her she isnt worth being with. I trust my girl, wouldnt give a fuck if she had boys around her. At the end of the day, if they cheat, they werent worth it. No loss.
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    #17
    Bluelighter Lysis's Avatar
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    I like the idea of meeting him face-to-face. A scummy married dude will show his true colors
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    #18
    It's one of those situations that could be harmless, or could not be. At the end of the day it's not something you can judge.... if you trust your girlfriend, then trust she will figure it out. If you don't trust her, then why are you with her again?

    But anyways.... this sounds like unnecessary stress. Don't worry about it. If she cheats then you'll find out eventually, so then you can fuck her off. Go back to believing in yourself again, that was good
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    #19
    Dude if it was down too me I'd forbid ur girl from seeing this guy.

    However I'd prolly only do this cuz my ex gf was cheating with someone She was just calling her "friend"
    bigggg mistake
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    #20
    Sounds shady as bro. Dunno what to do. Id just say to my gf that i think its not neccasarily dodgey on her part, but that i dont want her doing it as it just seems fucked up and wierd and totally inappropriate.

    What zyggy said about inviting him over(and his wife) or asking the gf to invite him and his wife over is a PERRRRFECT idea. Cant go wrong.
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    #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by jamesmartin View Post
    Dude if it was down too me I'd forbid ur girl from seeing this guy.

    However I'd prolly only do this cuz my ex gf was cheating with someone She was just calling her "friend"
    bigggg mistake
    you cant forbid anyone to do anything unless you are their parent and they are 8 years old

    invite him over like zyggy said.

    friends close, enemies closer

    be super nice and see what happens
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    #22
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    Wellll if my bf forbid me from seeing someone it would be like no! But then again he would never do that. We don't get jealous and we certainly wouldn't forbid each other from seeing someone.

    As a 20 year old female in a serious relationship, would I hang out with a friend of mine? Yes. I have friends who are a few years older and who are male. Why not? It works just fine.
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    #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by llama112 View Post
    Wellll if my bf forbid me from seeing someone it would be like no! But then again he would never do that. We don't get jealous and we certainly wouldn't forbid each other from seeing someone.

    As a 20 year old female in a serious relationship, would I hang out with a friend of mine? Yes. I have friends who are a few years older and who are male. Why not? It works just fine.
    Most people aren't aware that most cheating happens when you let your significat other be in a position to do so.... Eventually you will sleep with a "friend" .. not all friends, but that certain one... Maybe not now or in the next year or 2, but you will..

    I actually found a study on this... Men and women are naturally not programed to be with one person. ..

    That's what sucks.
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    #24
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    You can take comfort in the fact that you were not meant to be with the bitch if she cheats. In many situations, your paranoia and unfounded assumptions are worse than the reality.
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    #25
    Bluelighter Methadone84's Avatar
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    try hitting her or something i dont know
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