thatonecrazyguy
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Nov 22, 2013
- Messages
- 3
Thanks for that, Johannes. I definitely have felt some mild derealization and depersonalization after these experience. It's very strange how on one hand, I was able to leave behind all of my false Christian indoctrination and was able to realize my fullest potential, plus many other things about myself that I probably never would have realized before. Yet this experience lingers in the depths of my mind, so I chalk it up to "demons" because it just seemed so unnatural. I knew it was likely just him entering some sort of psychosis, but because everything he said made perfect sense, and he was actually more intelligent than usual, I thought it had to be something more. So obviously, I had a lot of conflict. Had I not been stripped of my Christian beliefs during one of my trips, it would be more easy to integrate this experience. I could simply say, well he was possessed. However, since I now accept how absurd Christianity is, I can no longer do that, so saying he was possessed still was really conflicting. A lot of his mannerisms reminded me of Charles Manson actually. He would often take on weird yogic positions that he shouldn't have been able to know how to do, or he would dance or do certain things that I've seen Manson do, very strange. Recently he told me that he tripped while listening to Alan Watts and did a guided meditation by Watts. He said he came to a full understanding of him self, and that the reason why he would freak out is because he had a misunderstanding of the "truth," as we call it, which is just another word for reality without delusion, or just reality, lol. Anyway, he said he felt that he couldn't go back to that state ever again because he understands it now. He said he understood how Charles Manson did the things he did because at one point A thought that he was god, so basically he was saying that while in those psychotic states he was on a similar trip as Charles Manson is/was.
I still feel like there is a lot more that I can learn from psychedelics. Reading from someone else that these were just psychotic episodes does bring a little bit of comfort, but I still am not sure how I'm going to integrate this experience. If you could suggest some ideas for how to do that, then that would be fantastic. There are just a lot of things that I simply do not know about my self or this reality still. I'm not quite sure how to free myself from my delusions. It seems that I lost most of or all of the delusions I had been programmed with from my childhood, but now I've been stuck with other ones due to these experiences. Any guidance would be greatly appreciated.
Also, what you said doesn't really explain how A was able to manipulate my perception because that was for real. I probably wouldn't be concerned about any of this except for the fact that that happened.
I still feel like there is a lot more that I can learn from psychedelics. Reading from someone else that these were just psychotic episodes does bring a little bit of comfort, but I still am not sure how I'm going to integrate this experience. If you could suggest some ideas for how to do that, then that would be fantastic. There are just a lot of things that I simply do not know about my self or this reality still. I'm not quite sure how to free myself from my delusions. It seems that I lost most of or all of the delusions I had been programmed with from my childhood, but now I've been stuck with other ones due to these experiences. Any guidance would be greatly appreciated.
Also, what you said doesn't really explain how A was able to manipulate my perception because that was for real. I probably wouldn't be concerned about any of this except for the fact that that happened.
Last edited: