I can't get more oxy than I'm already getting
are you in COT (chronic opioid therapy)? if so, i would STRONGLY advise against use any other substance, because they will find traces of it, and you will get booted out of treatment.
that being said, i really think you should talk with your parents, or family members about what your getting into, because you need help. please for yourself and the people around you, hook up with a therapist or something.. or some kind of program to help you out in this time of yours. at 17 it seems everyone that has been through some stuff, always think it's bigger then the whole world.. your a young kid, and you got a long long life ahead of you.. you've not been through more then the average middle aged person. just trust people, it will get better.
i'm young too, not quite that young.. i got you by about a decade, but i can tell you, i was through a lot before my 18th b-day. i had been in 2 different mental institutions and jail cells, and on top of that, i have a very debilitating disorder , very painful. my entire body is subject to moderate-severe pain, all day , all night.. and constant complications. my life just started!!!! i have to live this way, every second of everyday. it fills my conscience with an awfulness that is so foul , i'll never be normal everyday guy. everywhere i go, everything i do, i'm subject to awfulness.
it's not over yet buddy, hang in there. get some help, and open your mind to your experience, it's the only way to be on par with reality. no matter how hard. stick to your normal meds. i plead for your family, and your friends. stay strong guy.
with much hope,
pain