• Bluelight
    Shrine




    A memorial
    to Bluelighters
    who have passed away

Goodbye Kevin (robatussin), you will be missed.

It's taken me a while to post anything on BL about this because it's taken me too long to accept Kevin's death...
I was his friend for several years and then his girlfriend for almost 3- we lived together for just about 2, and though we never officially broke up we stopped seeing each other in November 2010. I had not spoken to him in over a month when I got the call from a mutual friend that he had passed away that morning. We always had different attitudes about drugs, but I honestly never thought they would take away his life.

To Dilated-Pupils, I cannot thank you enough for starting this thread, for supporting Kevin while he was still here, and for supporting me throughout this ordeal.

I have experienced the loss of loved ones to drugs but never such a loss as this, nor can I express it properly at this time.
 
I met Kevin on bluelight a little over four years ago and he remains the only bluelighter I've really connected with off the forum. I'll always remember the countless nights we spent casually chatting on aim and more recently the Green Day covers he played for me on skype. We had plans to finally meet in person this summer.

I felt deeply saddened when I heard the news of his death and it's still difficult for me to believe sometimes. I was speaking to him during his MDPV binge the day before he died and I wish I had said something about my concern for how messed up he seemed at times, especially when he mixed it with heroin. I guess I'd simply become too used to that from Kevin. I sure miss him now.
 
burn out said:
I felt deeply saddened when I heard the news of his death and it's still difficult for me to believe sometimes. I was speaking to him during his MDPV binge the day before he died and I wish I had said something about my concern for how messed up he seemed at times, especially when he mixed it with heroin. I guess I'd simply become too used to that from Kevin. I sure miss him now.
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Don't blame yourself... it's really damn unpredictable mixing stimulants with an opiate like H, and how far down you're likely to plunge once the stim wears off. You couldn't have known, and unfortunately neither could he. Peace...
 
i can't get him off my mind... it's like i can feel this phantom touch of his, the way he'd kiss the top of my head sometimes and then mess up my hair.
i miss him so damn much. my heart feels so squeezed and tight in my chest.
i can't get high enough to make it go away.
 
Could you post his myspace or a link to his music. I'd like to hear it. Sorry for your loss its sad when the good ones go.
 
Thanks for referring me back to the links. I've been listening to Methadone.
 
InHerOwnWrite said:
i can't get him off my mind... it's like i can feel this phantom touch of his, the way he'd kiss the top of my head sometimes and then mess up my hair.
i miss him so damn much. my heart feels so squeezed and tight in my chest.
i can't get high enough to make it go away.
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I miss him a lot too. I can't believe how much stuff can remind me of someone I never actually met.
 
You know. One thing I know about Kev is that he's glad he does not have to wake up again. He was a real supreme dude. Kevin, I know you'll never read this, but it comforts me in writting it. I'll do those covers.

He thought you were a great dude too Cane.
 
Thanks man, that really means a lot. I feel very lucky that I got to know him for a little while. We had some great conversations. He talked a lot about you too and really enjoyed jamming with you.
 
Kevin's birthday just passed recently. I got his mom to cheer up. Felt good.
 
Hey Kevin,

I know you won't ever read this and I am so so sorry this is so late but I haven't been on the forum for years, and just recently I came back and talked with BurnOut and he told me how you have passed and I was shocked you were always just a nice and usually upbeat dude you could lift me up when I was having a bad day and that's not easy! I am clean now 4 years! I am sorry you never got a chance to experience being clean for years at a time. I pray for you and your family, man I have lost SO many friends to H in the past 4 years so many good decent nice people, take care Kevin I know you at least are in peace now and you deserve that, take care buddy God Bless!
*I wish I had more to say Kevin but I am just at a loss for words its just so sad all the good kind people H has taken away recently God Bless!*
 
Wow his song Methadone really spoke to me. :(
 
Methadone by Kevin aka robatussin aka hospital ship
https://myspace.com/hospitalshipband

"....Don't know what I'm afraid of
I think its only myself
I just cant figure it out

So I guess ill just keep running
since its the only thing I know
in the end I don't where ill be or where ill go
so just keep on looking for something
something you'll never find
and lose yourself in alcohol
and lose yourself in drugs
you'll get sick of it I swear that's the truth
I promise you that....."


I love this song so much. I wish I had gotten to know Kevin.
 
Cane2theLeft said:
I was lucky to get to know Kevin over the last few months and I'll certainly miss him. He was incredibly caring and had endless curiosity. He truly loved the BL community and made a lot of important and very real connections around here and affected many lives. He was passionate about his music and I think it would really honor him if we all spent some time listening to it (you can find some of it here and here) and remembering the impact he had.
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Is there anywhere else that has his music online? The Myspace appears to no longer work. I enjoy coming back and listening to his tracks occasionally. It would be a shame if they where lost. Perhaps someone could post them to YouTube?
 
I remember him PMing me his music all of the time. I always told him the same thing, it's not bad, but not my type. #RIP
 
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