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    Blacking Out. 
    #1
    Ok, so my two strongest trips something weird has happened, the first, I ate an eighth of some good shrooms, the 1 hour into the trip I blacked out, got naked, acted crazy, ect ect. 6 Hours later I woke up naked in a wet bed watching fresh prince of belair.

    The most recent trip was on 400ug of acid, I smoke some weed on the comeup, and after that is history, I gradually blacked out, while the events were going on it seemed forever, ego death would be a good way to describe it- "who am I". 5 hours later I regain sight I guess.

    Anyone have similar experiences?
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    #2
    Its called ego death man. Same thing happened to me, one time acid and the other time mushrooms and mdma.
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    #3
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    Yeah I pissed the bed as well; it was on 20 grams of fresh mushrooms, and it was a hospital bed. I actually couldn't walk, my legs gave way and the paramedics had to put me in a wheelchair. It turned out to be a beautifully poignant trip, full of euphoria and surrender. It changed the way I looked at tripping. This was many moons ago, almost at the beginning of my psychedelic "career".
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    #4
    some people are highly susceptible to the bodily effects of shrooms and/or acid--- on a single tab of bicycle blotter i completely lost physical control of my body because my soul became immersed in the warm womb of the universe... couldn't stand up when my legs didn't exist

    i've seen someone white out on shrooms+weed, i imagine it was mostly low blood pressure or sugar levels.
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    #5
    I've never blacked out on anything. While I occasionally push the limit a bit out of curiosity, I tend to enjoy psychedelics more in moderate doses. I can deal with losing reality for a 5 minute salvia trip, but blacking out on something for hours seems terrifying. I like to be somewhere in between the real world and a tripped-out universe so I can integrate the experience into real life.
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    #6
    Bluelighter DwayneHoover's Avatar
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    see also: Whited Out On Cid http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/showthread.php?p=9342646

    my contribution:

    NOTE: By "whiting out" I mean that literally... everything got brighter and brighter and brighter as if my pupils had expanded to infinite dimensions... anyway here is the story.. it left a "Hole In My Mind" (kinda like Commander Sheridan in Babylon 5, haha) that I still remember as if it was yesterday:

    Once about 15 years ago, me and 2 other friends did 2 hits of what turned out to be some super duper STRONG blotter LSD. Started listening to tunes (well and fooling around... all of us gay) and "whatnot" and all was bliss. But at some point, I recall "whiting out", and my memory is then a TOTAL black hole for about like 4 hours.

    After being catatonic for a spell, I totally ruined their trip and fun by them not knowing what the hell happened to me, and I or my body "came to", was walking around the house naked, grabbing my crotch, acting extremely creepily lewd and rude and gross. etc., apparently totally unable to understand or speak English, Terry finally forced me to eat a bunch of Niacin which really did snap me out of it after it hit my stomach. I never did remember even one moment of these hours between the white out and the forced niacin in the kitchen.

    The blacking out and reverting to some still "awake" but totally unrecorded "reptilian" robotic behavior circuitry sounds very very similar to a few other accounts I have read, some from shrooms, some from 4-aco-dmt. It was totally like my human mind was removed from my body and my brain stem alone was in some nasty, primitive mode of control. It seems like this bizarre dysfunctional brain "mode" has been reported in some form or another here and there.

    During this entire time I had ONE very deep and very frightening psychedelic experience, which consisted of ONE image that apparently took up the entire 4 hour-blackout, or maybe it took the entire 4 hours to "reach" it... and it was VERY VERY scary... hold onto your hats people... NEVER told this to anyone online... during this "White-Blackout", here is where "I" was:

    It was some indeterminable time in the future.... only 3 minds still existed... mine (wondering if I had died in perhaps a nuclear explosion or something), and what I can ONLY describe as some great powerful Native American "Grandmother Earth Goddess" consciousness, perhaps "Gaia"... we were both in orbit in space... there was the Sun off in the distance, looking normal, who was the 3rd consciousness (but like a giant silent eye, observing from from some very lofty deep billion-year old great-great-great-great-grandfather perspective, totally without any thought or emotion), in the distance, stars... and below us was The Earth, but it was not the lovely shimmering blue/white/brown/green living water paradise we know. INSTEAD IT WAS AN EMPTY SMOLDERING BLACK CINDER... "Gaia" or "Grandmother Earth Goddess" was VERY VERY VERY ANGRY with ME, as a representative of the entire Human race who had somehow caused this horrible catastrophe to happen to her beautiful precious pearl she had take so long and such care to grow. The mood was one of baleful, eternal mourning and sadness. She was as angry as it is possible to be. I was as sad as it is possible to be.. and just crying, crying for all of eternity, trying to say to Her "I'm so sorry.... I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry...." trying in vain to apologize on behalf of all humanity, of which my spirit was apparently the last representative.

    I would have to call this under any definition a "Vision" like something of which Black Elk might have spoken, more than a hallucination... it was like "She" had deliberately stolen my mind, seeing it was made vulnerable by the LSD, and whisked me to some distant possible future to confront me about the disaster she showed me.

    Honestly, I don't have any other way of understanding what happened to me that night. it was VERY VERY far out of the ordinary, totally unlike the 1000 or so other trips I have had, some also really strong, but NOTHING like that.

    I didn't remember this until a couple days later... it was buried under alot of embarrassment about my brainstem's shameful lizard behavior... then suddenly all at once the image/feelings of that terrifying, soul-crushing "Vision" came back to me like a recovered memory all at once, and I was utterly devastated for a LONG time till I could tell anyone else, before I could even speak... upon remembering it, I just curled up in a ball for a while and just bawled my eyes out.

    So,what you do you all think of that? Anyone ever have anything like this, either the whiteout/blackout/missing-time effect, or the walking/talking/behaving with ZERO memory of it, or the "Earth-Cinder-Angry-Sad-Earth-Mother-Goddess-Spirit" vision happen to them?

    What the hell actually happened to me so many years ago?
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    #7
    Bluelighter
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    Dwayne, you just resonated a stark emotion in me there. Thank you for putting this up man. That was a very eloquent disclosure of what sounded like an utterly transcendental voyage. Yeah, I have too.

    I'll PM you.

    By the way, thanks for explaining the white-out phenomenon. I've been wondering for a long time what that term meant.
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Survived Abortion View Post
    Dwayne, you just resonated a stark emotion in me there. Thank you for putting this up man. That was a very eloquent disclosure of what sounded like an utterly transcendental voyage. Yeah, I have too.

    I'll PM you.

    By the way, thanks for explaining the white-out phenomenon. I've been wondering for a long time what that term meant.
    I think a good amount of us have been on the whited out naked monkey man psychedelic spree before.
    Weird...
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    #9
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    ^lol
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    #10
    I wonder if it really means anything though. Hmmmm.
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    #11
    This has happened to me... A few months ago I ate acid with my friends and it turned out to be too much, I dont remember anything, at some point my memory goes blank while we were just sitting in my friends apartment but they found me running around the hallways of the apartment building with my pants rolled up and only an undershirt on cause I was sweating so much from running around/tripping balls. Things started to come back as soon as they brought me back inside the room and made me chill out a bit.
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    #12
    Bluelighter DwayneHoover's Avatar
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    So there's some brain mode that can be triggered by a strong psychedelic dose in which normal memory trace is NOT being recorded... and some primitive version of "me" totally without inhibitions or social norms takes control of the body so it can still see and walk etc., and it does so and does a bunch of crazy stuff, but there is no memory recording being made of it, so it all appears as a "black hole" to the "normal me."

    Bizarre, and a little scary.
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    #13
    Bluelighter Enter Galactic's Avatar
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    Last sunday I blacked out for the first time on a psychedelic. It was something like 44-46mg (scale isn't terribly accurate), of 4-AcO-DMT. Dosed orally. My friend who was with me had about 55mg (also oral). I haven't tripped in a couple of months, so I have no tolerance what so ever, and my last and second largest dose of this stuff was 22-24mg. I started tripping a lot faster than my friend did, and slipped out of reality completely within about 20 minutes.

    I remember bits and pieces. I remember the room splitting open sort of as it started, and multiple dimensions unfolding from it which I could see all at once. Then I spoke to some inter dimensional beings that were writing the story of my reality, and trying to mess with my head, saying crazy shit to me. I don't remember what they said to me, but I remember constantly telling them that they were being ridiculous and laughing at what they were saying. At some point I thought my body had died, and I was trying hard to let go of it. I think that went on for a while. I then have flashes of memory of going from the room we were tripping in to my bed. Stumbling out of the chair, and the next thing I know I'm in the bathroom and I don't remember how I got there. I pee, then the next thing I recall is being in my bedroom. I don't recognize it completely but I knew it was were I should sleep. I forgot I had just gone to the bathroom, so I say I better go to the bathroom, and then next thing I know I'm trying to pee again. My memory lapses one more time and I'm in the bedroom again crawling into bed. I don't remember walking through the house, but this was basically all the walking around I did, as before this I was sitting in a recliner the whole time, unable to move, drifting in a collision of inter-dimensional debris.

    I wake up in the dark, in my bed, what could have been 30 minutes or 2 hours later and I don't know where the fuck I am, and I really don't remember reality or who I am all that well. I slowly realize that I'm more than just a conscious free floating being as I feel my body and the bed I'm in, but I can't recall the life I knew before this trip. It felt like I was going to be like that forever, but the next thing I know I wake up at 4am and my mind is back to normal completely. First I thought the entire night was a dream that I just woke up from, and then I remember that I was tripping. I head back into the other room to check on my friend and he is fucking gone. There is a text from another friend from only 40 minutes ago that said "everything alright over there?" (apparently the friend that tripped with me had been typing crazy shit on IRC) "Oh fuck," I think "what happened to him." I called my friend and apparently he blacked out as well and woke up having pissed himself on the futon. He freaked out and got the hell out of there.

    This was an interesting experience looking back on it, but I don't plan on revisiting the place it took me to (at least not on this chemical).
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    #14
    Never reached the whiting out and taking the clothes off thing (actually pretty happy about that) but I have seen SEVERAL accounts in addition to all of these of similar incidents occuring. I myself have had white out experiences on xanax, as well as I have heard hundreds more accounts of that as well. Not trying to change the topic at all, actually my point is, isnt it scary to think that you are still concious and running around doing things you ABSOLUTELY HAVE NO RECOLLECTION OF, its as if some other "entity" is controlling you, and IMO that is very bad, or wrong.. Idk just how I feel. Like if you were passed out or floored thats one thing, but to hear accounts from friends or people the next day that you walked to this location, said this or did this to this person, jumped out or crashed this car, and you wake up with NO recollection and a whole list of things you would NEVER have done otherwise, its a really weird phenomenon
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    #15
    Bluelighter DwayneHoover's Avatar
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    Yep very very odd thing that our brains are able to do apparently.

    Perhaps this is what is meant about psychedelics being mimics for Schizophrenia.
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    #16
    Quote Originally Posted by DwayneHoover View Post
    Yep very very odd thing that our brains are able to do apparently.

    Perhaps this is what is meant about psychedelics being mimics for Schizophrenia.
    Well, I do know while I am blacked out it seems like I'm dreaming, or like I'm dying. So weird how it happens...
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    #17
    Bluelighter lightitup's Avatar
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    I have never blacked out on a psychedelic really...I forget what happened sometimes, but I can usually piece it together. Who knows if it is really what happened in reality.

    I have had a similar experience to the whiting out though, where the fractals start to blind you until you cannot see. It is quite scary at times, and I've never had it completely engulf my vision.
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    #18
    I just hate coming back to consciousness and then realizing that everything that happened before actually happened. So so confusing...
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    #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Enter Galactic View Post
    I wake up in the dark, in my bed, what could have been 30 minutes or 2 hours later and I don't know where the fuck I am, and I really don't remember reality or who I am all that well. I slowly realize that I'm more than just a conscious free floating being as I feel my body and the bed I'm in, but I can't recall the life I knew before this trip.
    That's exactly how I used to feel in some of the deepest holes on ketamine.
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    #20
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    I strongly suggest that blackouts are NOT the same as ego-death. A blackout is a term for anterograde amnesia: it is not possible to form new memories beyond a certain point.

    With ego-death this is also true but there is a lot more happening, there is a suspension of the self beyond normal perception and this mostly has fargoing consequences for your mobility and ability to interact with the world. Even if you are not laying or sitting down people in an ego death are absent and at the most act erratic but not doing a lot of stuff on autopilot.

    If you take zolpidem in high doses and resist sleep you will get anterograde amnesia but not really ego-death. The terms blackout or sleep walking are more appropriate. People on zolpidem have been reported to do advanced tasks like even drive a car (though getting in accidents a lot of times). There is still something active, a subconscious with access to operational memory etc.

    Perhaps some people would disagree with me that there is a distinction, and this is all pretty much terminological debate but while some states of consciousness we have names for appear to be similar or identical others have to considered separately in my opinion, at the very least to prevent confusion and to keep in mind the important differences in aspects or symptoms.
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    #21
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    ^I agree Sol. The white-out is different from the black-out. During a black-out on downers (such as zolpidem) you can't remember anything because you are totally blotto, your brainwaves are slow, and nothing much is recording. Or if it is, it's on the deepest subconscious level. During a white-out on psychedelics, you remember everything, but it's like it wasn't you (but it was, sort of), it was your soul. That's because you literally were out, except for the tiny umbilical connection to your physical body through (as Dwayne would put it) the reptilian brain.
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    #22
    Quote Originally Posted by Solipsis View Post
    I strongly suggest that blackouts are NOT the same as ego-death. A blackout is a term for anterograde amnesia: it is not possible to form new memories beyond a certain point.

    With ego-death this is also true but there is a lot more happening, there is a suspension of the self beyond normal perception and this mostly has fargoing consequences for your mobility and ability to interact with the world. Even if you are not laying or sitting down people in an ego death are absent and at the most act erratic but not doing a lot of stuff on autopilot.

    If you take zolpidem in high doses and resist sleep you will get anterograde amnesia but not really ego-death. The terms blackout or sleep walking are more appropriate. People on zolpidem have been reported to do advanced tasks like even drive a car (though getting in accidents a lot of times). There is still something active, a subconscious with access to operational memory etc.

    Perhaps some people would disagree with me that there is a distinction, and this is all pretty much terminological debate but while some states of consciousness we have names for appear to be similar or identical others have to considered separately in my opinion, at the very least to prevent confusion and to keep in mind the important differences in aspects or symptoms.
    But, on my last trip, I remember for about an hour words like "who am I", "who are you?" "lose yourself". And I litterilly lost myself. Saw my arm dissapearing. I would call it ego death cause I didn't know who I was or where I was.
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    #23
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    I don't see any conflicting information, your description reads like ego death. Not a blackout... It sounds pretty much like dissolution of ego and proprioception. No clear signs of amnesia, you don't mention doing a lot of things that you do not remember doing later on.

    That is not a common effect of psychedelic use either, blackouts / amnesia. It is more like what you get from drinking copious amounts of alcohol or doing benzo's. I have lost no less than 3 days when I took alprazolam (a benzo) on LSD, it had nothing to do with ego loss - that was a blackout. And there were little differences between that and the blackouts I have had on alcohol.

    One extra sign that points to a blackout is disinhibited behavior. People having ego deaths usually show very little (if any) behavior.

    There is a sort of common ground that can make this confusing and that is that riding an ego death up and down is also 'vague' and there is an absence of the rational, there is no linear timeline where events are really registered. But the major difference between a blackout and ego death is that with ego death there is a central core of remaining consciousness. People experience the connectedness of the world, boundaries dissolving, etc...

    For the record I have had multiple ego deaths, whiteouts and blackouts. On my most complete ego death I laid on my bed for hours and had forgotten my life was 'real', that I was still me and still had an individuality (something people will still argue of course ) but during that time I did believe that there was unity, that I was the godhead i.e. the dream that dreams itself. If it had been a blackout then I would have 'woken up' at some point not remembering at all what had happened. Like with those 3 days I lost.
    Last edited by Solipsis; 27-02-2011 at 20:50.
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    #24
    Ego-death isn't forgetting who you are, it's a breakdown of boundaries between the self and the outside world; the recognition that the subject/object distinction is as arbitrary as a line on a map, that everything is actually "you". You can experience ego-death and still be completely lucid.

    It has nothing whatsoever to do with amnesia (i.e. "blackouts").
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    #25
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    You're probably right but even if they have nothing to do with each other the language used to describe these states can be similar because they sounds something like feeling 'not-you'. In that respect people think they are talking about the same thing while like you say they are almost polar opposites (blackout and whiteout, sounds pretty polar)
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