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Do you actually feel that you've got dumber because of drug abuse?

my memory is fucked from drugs and so are my coping skills and dealing with emotions. but, as i stay sober it seems to be improving. idk if my brain will ever be what it used to be, but i dont see the point in doing any more damage than i have.
 
I don't think my intelligence has decreased, but I do find it harder to self-motivate after 9+ years of drug abuse.

I mean if that was really the truth then: Hemmingway, Fitzgerald, Capote, Wilde, fuck basically every major writer from the 19th to mid 20th century would have been unreadable gibberish.

I think someone mentioned the inability to 'apply' yourself somewhere earlier, I would have to agree with them.
 
Ketamine is the only drug which I've used very much of that really lowers my intellectual reasoning for a good 6 months. It also makes me psychotic. I can't handle dissociatives, although I did have two ++++ peak experiences from a solitary 500mg of MXE. However, that also entailed a psych ward for about a week. I could've told you that before I did the MXE.
 
Dresden said:
although I did have two ++++ peak experiences from a solitary 500mg of MXE. However, that also entailed a psych ward for about a week. I could've told you that before I did the MXE.
Click to expand...

I'd hardly call 500mg of MXE solitary, I found 25mg was a decent enough amount for someone with no dissociative experience
 
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I definitely feel dumber. I started using drugs at age 18 and I'm still using them at 34. That's a long-ass time to be using. I think the damage is permanent now. I can't spell for shit and rely heavily on the autocorrect feature on my phone and iPad. I forget things all the time and there are YEARS of my past that I can't remember. I've used every drug under the sun. My speech is halting...I stumble over my words when I talk and there are pauses in the middle of my sentences while I search for the words I'm looking for. I bump into things and my hands have a permanent tremor. I can't do even simple math - I tested myself by trying to do multiplication with higher numbers on paper, no calculator and I couldn't remember how to do it. I even went to e-how to try to refresh my memory but I couldn't understand the directions!!! I used to be smart, I know I tested high on iq tests when I was a kid and I got a 1490 on my SATs. The only thing I have left is I'm still a speed-reader (I go through tons of books in days because I love to read and I do it all the time) and I'm a stickler for proper grammar online. It's a pet peeve with me when people make simple mistakes with the use of "there" and "their" and "they're." Etc. I don't know which drug is the culprit but I would guess my years of ecstasy, dope and benzo use would be the worst on my brain.

*I'm editing to correct myself - I used ecstasy and benzos for years but dope only about a year and not consistent use, just occasional use. But I definitely feel dumber for using it, especially since it's a dumb thing to do!!!
 
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moreso i feel my anxiety has gotten much, much, much worse than it ever used to be before doing any drugs. and i have certain sensations that have stuck with me which affects my functionality.

i'm not sure if it's an anxious thing or something more serious, but sometimes i get a sensation where my vision and physical awareness seems to wobble or shake, though it's only a psychological thing and not actually physical... as far as i'm aware. it's hard to even really explain it, this is the first time i've ever put the feeling into words. the feeling seems like it's some sort of seizure my brain is having... it feels like electricity and very zappy.

i would love for some insight into this. it's ruined a huge part of me.

i've used rx amphetamines, benzos, opiates, occasional psychedelics here and there, lots of weed. now i only use vyvanse and kpin as prescribed, and kratom. cleaned up from everything else... and now i'm left with a weird and bothersome feeling in my head and eyes that feels like some sort of very short seizure type of thing. i've heard of ''temperal lobe seizures'' which sounds like it, although i have no idea. that's just a thought and really i haven't read much about that particular disorder. it's probably not a temperal lobe seizure, but it does feel like a brain seizure of some sort. that's all i can really relate it to other than serious anxiety... which i take wellbutrin, lexapro and kpin for. seems like they manage to get me out of bed and make me feel less anxious. i've had this sensation before this combo of meds.

mostly after using psychedelics and a lot of mdma and e tabs is when i started experiencing this. i remember the very first time it happened i was at work and just froze for a minute staring out into space. yep, i'm a weirdo. ugh.

feels like everything sort of zaps and stops, tingling and serious discomfort and fear for a few seconds kind of. with flushing and heart rate increase. super tough to explain it but this makes me want to look further into it and those symptoms. weird. maybe someone can relate 8(

kind of off topic, my bad.
 
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you can really only ask this ? when you have been clean for many months in order for your biochemistry to normalize and stabilize ! but as of now i feel like my life experience has increased and i know more ! if you mean raw intelligence ? i do not think it can be measured with an IQ test ! the brain has many muscles ! work them out and your focus will change! take tryptophan and help balance your serotonin levels ! and if you feel dumber and repeat that thought your only manifesting and re enforcing the idea that your dumber ! ask this what is it like to feel like a genius? how can i resonate with that ! ?
 
My intelligence peaked in 9th grade
then in tenth grade through age 19 depression ruined my brain,
and when i started Using drugs when i was 19, 2 years of that ruined my brain even moreso.
now im done with drugs besides occasional weed and trying to stay clean and rebuild lost brain cells or receptors
 
I don't believe that I was ever highly intelligent or considered "smart" I am pretty mediocre at everything I do. So...

I feel though that the chemicals (mostly: A LOT of cannabis & decent amount of psychedelics.) have made me a lot more prone to feeling very pronounced/high emotions. I cannot cope with things and problem solve that good anymore. I've also realized that if I am in a difficult situation or one that I don't like it is very hard for me to "bounce back" to a more positive emotion/attitude once a negative one has set in. I "wear my emotions on my sleeve" on a day to day basis. I also let things that have happened in the past ruin my entire day, leaving me feeling depressed & hopeless because that is all I can think about. I have been told that I tend to "read into things too much" by people. I sometimes think, "stop feeling this way you aren't doing yourself any good. Just stop acting like such a little girl & get over it." but it is very hard for me to simply "get over it". On occasion I will have what I consider a good day but most of the time it is either a day of feeling lonely & depressed or just "in the middle" (not sad but definitely not happy.)
 
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