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Bah Humbug and other words of consolation...

Asclepius

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Aug 30, 2010
Messages
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Bah Humbug to all! ;)<3

I dont recognise the 'Spirit' of Christmas until I actually participate in doing something to help others(which I have planned for Jan next year and hope to continue into the Future). Otherwise it's just another day of the year. However my folks are Christian so I try and respect that and am enjoying just bein of use to them..tis the only way I get through all the bullshit, Consummerist Orgy that Society has created around it...Its during the build up to X-Mas that I find most irratating and upsetting. :p My sense of loss is re-inforced by a lack of Family cohesion and absence of true 'friends'.

Just wanted to post a Thread so people can vent primarily about two things(but feel free to Elaborate):

1) About the manipulation they Experience at this time of year and how it contributes to them feeling like they dont fit the Stereotypes Associated with it!

2) Also, how they think they can combat this 'punishment' by a largely ignorant and self- serving Society.

So in a nutshell, whats missing from your life?; what needs to be changed and what needs to be Accepted?
 
i dont want to use "hate", but i really dislike christmas because of my addiction, it's caused me to burn so many bridges to my family. so this is the time of the year for me to usually relapse, and i dont like it.

dont know, but i brought it upon myself.

atleast mexican restarunts are open today.
 
i too am not a fan.. i dont like spending money on other people and i dont like the obligation.. thats one of the many things that i do infact miss from my heroin days..
a bag of skag for each of my friends and 2 bags of number 4 shit for my old lady and that was that..
also one of the worst times of my life was spent during the holidays, strung out homeless on the streets in a strange city, disowned by my family and grieiving the loss of my girlfriend.. so i kind of have negative emotional ties with this time of year..
 
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i dont want to use "hate", but i really dislike christmas because of my addiction, it's caused me to burn so many bridges to my family. so this is the time of the year for me to usually relapse, and i dont like it.

dont know, but i brought it upon myself.

atleast mexican restarunts are open today.

This 'Family situation'(although my folks are still around) also contributes to my issues with X-Mas. Its really in your face. However It is possible, with practice and by compensating the 'Family' for something else(ie keeping busy with something/substituting them with friends/aquaintances) to define your own Holiday season.

I wish you the best of luck with keeping off your DOC at this time D's :)...Hooray for Mexican Food(None of this Turkey nonsense:p ;))


also one of the worst times of my life was spent during the holidays, strung out homeless on the streets in a strange city, disowned by my family and grieiving the loss of my girlfriend.. so i kind of have negative emotional ties with this time of year..


This is exactly what I was refering to; the juxtaposition of this forced Jovial state with RL experiences of Melancholy/Tragedy and the sentimentalisation of everything- It's can be such a cruel time of year for alot of people.
Hope you can keep a balance at this time Canuka :)
 
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^
Thank Krist(Small joke there!) that I dont live in America! ;)

Maybe you should text back ''Keep the 'Fuck' in Fuck off!'' lol (Of course this is just a suggestion!)
Seriously, some people dont take others beliefs/lack into account and its very disrespectful, tactless really.:\

My Mother now wants to visit the brother who abused her and I need to act like I'm fine with it..feel unbelievably uncomfortable and dont want to overdo the booze but this will be a challenge...really dont want to make the situation all about my opinion again. True that certain 'obligations', at this time, seem unfairly ridiculous.8)
 
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oh jesus you so silly

NSFW:
gPyo4.jpg
sxIXR.jpg
 
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I guess I have mixed emotions about xmas. There's so much hype about shopping and being cheerful, but it just feels phony. Then after the rush there is the crash once we return to reality and realize that nothing has really changed except that we have less money now.

I don't care about the religious meaning, neither does any of my family. It is nice to spend some time with them and eat a lot of good food though. Lately we have not been very close so I'm spending a couple of days over there and it has given me the chance to speak with my mother and open up to her about what is going on in my life.

But really everything is just so superficial. The same movies playing, the same annoying songs. Spending time with people we care about is nice, but it puts a lot of pressure on those that don't have anybody.

If we are capable of being loving on xmas, why not all the time? I feel the same way about valentine's day, which I hate more than anything. Why does there have to be a special day to express love. Why can't expressing love be our everyday state?

Anyways, this year the holidays were pretty good, so I'm grateful for that.
 
i used to really like the holidays. but now its just a pain. i hate having to find presents for people, and i hate how you can never really ask for what you want because its always too expensive, and i just get disappointed at the presents. plus i have to deal with all the old people and listen to them cross talk and scream over each other. and everyone just argues.

plus no dealers are around because they are doing holiday shit, and so are friends. plus i never get money and get constantly reminded that im an addict and i "cant have money because ill just use it for drugs". yeah well its xmas money. im supposed to use it for something i enjoy right?

plus now that im sober i have to REALLY notice how annoying it all is. at least when i was using it was bearable. and i STILL didnt get any fucking money.

i hate family affairs.
 
If we are capable of being loving on xmas, why not all the time? I feel the same way about valentine's day, which I hate more than anything. Why does there have to be a special day to express love. Why can't expressing love be our everyday state?

Exactly! Leg, I really respect you for your posts, because they make so much sense! :)
Why all this Hallmark Bullshit, whether your Christian or not, the 'Compasionate love' element seems to be a universal need and why not make it an ongoing Theme, rather than just one day that a load of business' can make money on-riding on the back of it!! Fuck that!!!

I saw a show on Discovery the other day about 'Doubting Thomas' -I love this guy because I can relate to him and he seems pretty trustworthy, blind Faith to me isnt real faith , without doubt-there is no belief! How can you have faith unless your stuck kneck deep in shit and faced with your impending doom, and even then you have to question things-this is, to me the plight of trying to live as a human! Anyhoo, everything I've looked up on -Line, in relation to this, has been full of info on dates and archeological data-which I couldnt, frankly give 2 shits about, because what im interested in is HOW TO LIVE and from what I saw in this Doc that resonated with me is the basics:
I follow no one ,only someone who shows compassionate merit according to their actions! Even then, I wont follow, I can only carry in myself what I've experienced and then pass it on.
Christ is a name that represents, to me, a spirit of humanity embodying compassion, anyone who makes this into a cult is a manipulator, It is just a name and thats all -nuff said!!!!!!!!
So Bah-Humbug to all the Bastards that bestow Shame on people for not seeing things in their way, Bah-Humbug to the ones who dont want to look at reality and Bah-Humbug to Christmas and any of the bullshit it bestows on anyone out there!:p

I received one earlier that ended in 'in jesus name we pray' WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
OD, to me, you seem like a guy who knows alot, your pretty acute(albeit you have a voice of addiction infriging on this) but doesnt believe in what he knows, you know these people 'mean well' but the bullshit being thrown on you is just that! So believe in what you know-that these are 'well meaning' misguided people and you need to poke fun at them to keep your own sanity because their ego's dictate that they are right, and they are misguided! Or else start sending them Anton Le Vey quotes-just to keep things 'Light!' ;)

i hate having to find presents for people, and i hate how you can never really ask for what you want because its always too expensive, and i just get disappointed at the presents

I love buying presents for people but the monetary restrictions take away the pleasure. :( Thats why I'd rather give something to people who really need it in the form of Volunteering etc..Im not trying to look like a Saint but I just want to try to make a tiny difference to anyone before I leave this life - that might be the ultimate gift?! Just being able to do a small thing, that can have a positive follow on impact on someones life. I've seen how other people have done this, dunno if I can do the same but I'd like to live/die tryin'! :)
 
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