Amberthefrog
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 12, 2006
- Messages
- 428
I wrote this in response to a thread in psychedelic discussion, had no intention to go into so much detail and unexpectedly ended up with a bit of a report.
Introduction
These three experiences all happened within the space of 6 months when I was 19. I had started experimenting with psychedelics at 16, by the point of this report I had about 30-40 shroom trips under my belt (including a life changing plus four, two years before), 3 HBWR LSA trips, a couple of mild DXM 'trips' and a fair many ketamine trips. I was in love for the first time, was getting good uni grades despite heavy drug use and socializing and was in pretty good physical and mental shape.
Mescaline
It truly is a wonderful experience, once you get past the initial nausea, everything tends to fall into place very nicely. It's a very complete and energized feeling, there is a strong, strong sense of physical energy. Perceptions become more vivid, crisp and things appear very pure. So here goes...
First time - A Moment Somewhere Else
The first time I tripped on mescaline was with my girlfriend at the time in my dorm bedroom. She had taken 7 (iirc) HBWR seeds, whilst I'd munched 12.5 g of dried San Pedro cactus. After an hour or so, some sort of buzz became apparent, though this felt like it could go somewhere special, at that point it seemed to associate loosely with the gradually building nausea. On other psychedelic comeups, I sometimes get the nausea/energy combo, although normally there is a mild anxiety component thrown in to. On mescaline there was no anxiety, but the nausea got fairly rough (eating the dried cactus is not the best method!), about 1:30 into it, I threw up in my sink, after that....
Everything became brilliant! No more nausea to speak of, my body felt great and seemed to be oozing energy. All light sources in my room were enshrouded with golden white halos. My mood climbed to the point of euphoria and I felt very on the ball mentally. Talking to my girlfriend was a very rewarding experience, I'm sure sex would have been to, but the seeds weren't sitting too well with her stomach for the entire experience. At one point I closed my eyes and shined my phone light on my closed eyelids. My entire world seemed to become bathed in a pure white glow and it seemed I was in a cold, moonlit desert - lit up by billions of stars. If I lay in a dark room and listen to Pink Floyd's Cluster One, this place seems to come back to me. Cluster One reminds me a great deal of a mescaline experience. A mind blowing vastness of cosmic light, with a slightly eerie sense of the unknown, or rather the incomprehensible thrown in for good measure.
Second time - A Perfect Setting
Another time I took a slightly higher dose by the same route, whilst pretty doped up on opium poppy pods (which I also eat raw, though in this case the taste to me isn't too bad, just bitter, the taste of San pedro is actively horrible!). The same feelings came about, though there was no nausea to speak of and the euphoria and body buzz was an order of magnitude greater. I was with friends, camping on the edge of a wood on a hill that gives a great view of 40 miles of flat plain through 180'. I could literally see this flat expanse extend to about 40 miles away, over this expanse the sun was setting in the most beautiful golden crimsons possible. Time seemed to slow to a crawl as I gazed upon this wonderful landscape, lit up by thousands of hues of gold, purple and red. The only noises were the fire crackling behind us and distant motorway, which sounded nothing like cars, but rather like some distant wind from a place far away in a time now forgotten. Occasional a buzzard would circle overhead and let out a venerable cry.
My friends were not tripping, but were smoking weed and enjoying the moment a great deal themselves. Again, I found if I focused, conversation came very fluidly and my sense of empathy was brightened to the degree MDMA would give, but with out any level of incapacitation or inebriation. We were camped under a towering beech tree, and at one point I decided to climb it. Taking my time, I ambled through the silver-grey branches that flickered beautifully in the fire light. When I got to about 25 meters up, I stopped and looked out again across the plain before me, the sunset was ending and darkness falling. A breeze picked up from across the plain, rustling the dense canopy of purple copper about my being. The wood around me seemed to come to life anew as it swayed peacefully with me in this tranquil moment. A barn owl ghosted slowly along the tree line and let out it's ethereal screech. Time stood still and relished in the moment before descending. After this we went to our tent, listened to music and smoked some bud, outside the wind started to howl and I slowly drifted off to the most vivid and pleasant sleep of my life.
Third time - Remembrance of Logos
Once again we went camping, this time on the edge of a large and remote wood, surrounded by hilly fields. We camped by a stream in a larch thicket, surrounded by a dense expanse of ferns. My friend J, would had never tripped before decided to join me in taking mescaline; my dose was somewhat over 20g of dried P. torch, his was 15g or so.
This time getting the stuff down was a real effort, a long protracted, disgusting process. The nausea came on quickly and strongly along with a feeling of electrical energy rushing down my spine and spreading out into my limbs. After about 40 minutes, I drank a small amount of rum and smoked a spliff, another 10 minutes later and the nausea was almost completely gone. J's lasted a bit longer but would ultimately fizzle out to nothing. One of the first signs I get that a psychedelic is taking full affect is a general shift in vision, it's as if a filter is placed (or perhaps more aptly removed from) over my eyes. On mushrooms this means the spacial dimensions I see, especially if indoors, alter in a not-exactly-definable way; things seems less straight/square/fixed/dull and more curvy/organic/changeable/vivid. Mescaline vision involves a general increase in brightness, white and gold lights seem to be emphasized, whilst on shrooms purples, whites and greens are (but to a lesser extent to mescaline). In fact, all colors seem amplified under mescaline, and the number of hues and the vibrancy of each, shoot up.
Again we had a wonderful sunset, though this time the emphasis was more on the campsite and the wood behind me which seemed to dwindle into a leafy black, enchanting darkness. We talked and listed to music in high spirits until it got dark. At one point there was a fairly loud crunching sound near our campsite, as if somewhat had stood on or otherwise snapped and thick stick. This really wasn't the sort of place you would expect to encounter people, especially at night, and some of my stoned friends became paranoid. I took it upon myself to go and investigate, feeling entirely at one with the wood around me and practically bursting with electrical energy. I couldn't see any sign of other people though and felt strongly that my initial reaction (that it was a woodland creature) was spot on. Throughout the experience, there was a very strong, energetic, connection to the environment and people around me.
If I toked on a spliff and lay back, I could sort of space out and feel the forest around me with my thoughts; there was a strong sense of contentment and tranquility from this continuous expression of life energy. I could understand and appreciate myself as a separate entity, just as each life form around me was. I had an ego and was thus able to separate this complex on this level, however there was a strong sense that this wasn't the way it was meant to be, that my life energy was just as intrinsically linked and mingled with the others around me. One continuous life form. I thought about this and remember my third trip, two years before, when my 4-HO-DMT enthused consciousness had unwittingly shown me how false and incredibly insignificant the concept of 'me' really was. That initial terror, a primordial terror screaming at me in the face of some imminent and fundamental loss, then an endless expanse of lifeforce, oneness, bliss, nirvana, time stop. Realizing that even THAT was just one thread, of something infinitely greater, more complex, awe inspiring and perhaps frightening. My mind returned from the powerful flashback that had occurred and seemed, for am moment to somehow resonate in time to the cosmos. Am I individual? In a sense yes, in a much greater sense, no. Just as each cell that composes me is individual, but also part of something much greater, something composed of a huge number of units, working and signaling to each other in harmony to produce one mind. If only humanity could achieve unity, we all transmit signals to each other, chemical, visual etc. We just haven't been able to overcome the concept of 'I' yet. I prayed for a moment that we would transcend our current position before we annihilated ourselves.
When our friends had fallen asleep, me and J walked and explored. We walked for hours without any sense of boredom or lethargy - each new glade, thicket and meadow unfolding before our eyes under the stars.
The experience was very refreshing and inspiring, however It came at a time when life was amazing and I was largely living up to targets I'd set myself following several life changing mushroom experiences. I've not tripped on mescaline for over a year and a half now, soon this must be rectified, I think by camping out in the snow and making a tea, probably half again or twice as strong as my previous doses. I love this drug SO much, and I know I've only seen the tip of the ice berg, a hopeful thought as the last year of my life has been difficult, though things are looking up now (thanks to friends family and a bit of help from selegiline!).
Introduction
These three experiences all happened within the space of 6 months when I was 19. I had started experimenting with psychedelics at 16, by the point of this report I had about 30-40 shroom trips under my belt (including a life changing plus four, two years before), 3 HBWR LSA trips, a couple of mild DXM 'trips' and a fair many ketamine trips. I was in love for the first time, was getting good uni grades despite heavy drug use and socializing and was in pretty good physical and mental shape.
Mescaline
It truly is a wonderful experience, once you get past the initial nausea, everything tends to fall into place very nicely. It's a very complete and energized feeling, there is a strong, strong sense of physical energy. Perceptions become more vivid, crisp and things appear very pure. So here goes...
First time - A Moment Somewhere Else
The first time I tripped on mescaline was with my girlfriend at the time in my dorm bedroom. She had taken 7 (iirc) HBWR seeds, whilst I'd munched 12.5 g of dried San Pedro cactus. After an hour or so, some sort of buzz became apparent, though this felt like it could go somewhere special, at that point it seemed to associate loosely with the gradually building nausea. On other psychedelic comeups, I sometimes get the nausea/energy combo, although normally there is a mild anxiety component thrown in to. On mescaline there was no anxiety, but the nausea got fairly rough (eating the dried cactus is not the best method!), about 1:30 into it, I threw up in my sink, after that....
Everything became brilliant! No more nausea to speak of, my body felt great and seemed to be oozing energy. All light sources in my room were enshrouded with golden white halos. My mood climbed to the point of euphoria and I felt very on the ball mentally. Talking to my girlfriend was a very rewarding experience, I'm sure sex would have been to, but the seeds weren't sitting too well with her stomach for the entire experience. At one point I closed my eyes and shined my phone light on my closed eyelids. My entire world seemed to become bathed in a pure white glow and it seemed I was in a cold, moonlit desert - lit up by billions of stars. If I lay in a dark room and listen to Pink Floyd's Cluster One, this place seems to come back to me. Cluster One reminds me a great deal of a mescaline experience. A mind blowing vastness of cosmic light, with a slightly eerie sense of the unknown, or rather the incomprehensible thrown in for good measure.
Second time - A Perfect Setting
Another time I took a slightly higher dose by the same route, whilst pretty doped up on opium poppy pods (which I also eat raw, though in this case the taste to me isn't too bad, just bitter, the taste of San pedro is actively horrible!). The same feelings came about, though there was no nausea to speak of and the euphoria and body buzz was an order of magnitude greater. I was with friends, camping on the edge of a wood on a hill that gives a great view of 40 miles of flat plain through 180'. I could literally see this flat expanse extend to about 40 miles away, over this expanse the sun was setting in the most beautiful golden crimsons possible. Time seemed to slow to a crawl as I gazed upon this wonderful landscape, lit up by thousands of hues of gold, purple and red. The only noises were the fire crackling behind us and distant motorway, which sounded nothing like cars, but rather like some distant wind from a place far away in a time now forgotten. Occasional a buzzard would circle overhead and let out a venerable cry.
My friends were not tripping, but were smoking weed and enjoying the moment a great deal themselves. Again, I found if I focused, conversation came very fluidly and my sense of empathy was brightened to the degree MDMA would give, but with out any level of incapacitation or inebriation. We were camped under a towering beech tree, and at one point I decided to climb it. Taking my time, I ambled through the silver-grey branches that flickered beautifully in the fire light. When I got to about 25 meters up, I stopped and looked out again across the plain before me, the sunset was ending and darkness falling. A breeze picked up from across the plain, rustling the dense canopy of purple copper about my being. The wood around me seemed to come to life anew as it swayed peacefully with me in this tranquil moment. A barn owl ghosted slowly along the tree line and let out it's ethereal screech. Time stood still and relished in the moment before descending. After this we went to our tent, listened to music and smoked some bud, outside the wind started to howl and I slowly drifted off to the most vivid and pleasant sleep of my life.
Third time - Remembrance of Logos
Once again we went camping, this time on the edge of a large and remote wood, surrounded by hilly fields. We camped by a stream in a larch thicket, surrounded by a dense expanse of ferns. My friend J, would had never tripped before decided to join me in taking mescaline; my dose was somewhat over 20g of dried P. torch, his was 15g or so.
This time getting the stuff down was a real effort, a long protracted, disgusting process. The nausea came on quickly and strongly along with a feeling of electrical energy rushing down my spine and spreading out into my limbs. After about 40 minutes, I drank a small amount of rum and smoked a spliff, another 10 minutes later and the nausea was almost completely gone. J's lasted a bit longer but would ultimately fizzle out to nothing. One of the first signs I get that a psychedelic is taking full affect is a general shift in vision, it's as if a filter is placed (or perhaps more aptly removed from) over my eyes. On mushrooms this means the spacial dimensions I see, especially if indoors, alter in a not-exactly-definable way; things seems less straight/square/fixed/dull and more curvy/organic/changeable/vivid. Mescaline vision involves a general increase in brightness, white and gold lights seem to be emphasized, whilst on shrooms purples, whites and greens are (but to a lesser extent to mescaline). In fact, all colors seem amplified under mescaline, and the number of hues and the vibrancy of each, shoot up.
Again we had a wonderful sunset, though this time the emphasis was more on the campsite and the wood behind me which seemed to dwindle into a leafy black, enchanting darkness. We talked and listed to music in high spirits until it got dark. At one point there was a fairly loud crunching sound near our campsite, as if somewhat had stood on or otherwise snapped and thick stick. This really wasn't the sort of place you would expect to encounter people, especially at night, and some of my stoned friends became paranoid. I took it upon myself to go and investigate, feeling entirely at one with the wood around me and practically bursting with electrical energy. I couldn't see any sign of other people though and felt strongly that my initial reaction (that it was a woodland creature) was spot on. Throughout the experience, there was a very strong, energetic, connection to the environment and people around me.
If I toked on a spliff and lay back, I could sort of space out and feel the forest around me with my thoughts; there was a strong sense of contentment and tranquility from this continuous expression of life energy. I could understand and appreciate myself as a separate entity, just as each life form around me was. I had an ego and was thus able to separate this complex on this level, however there was a strong sense that this wasn't the way it was meant to be, that my life energy was just as intrinsically linked and mingled with the others around me. One continuous life form. I thought about this and remember my third trip, two years before, when my 4-HO-DMT enthused consciousness had unwittingly shown me how false and incredibly insignificant the concept of 'me' really was. That initial terror, a primordial terror screaming at me in the face of some imminent and fundamental loss, then an endless expanse of lifeforce, oneness, bliss, nirvana, time stop. Realizing that even THAT was just one thread, of something infinitely greater, more complex, awe inspiring and perhaps frightening. My mind returned from the powerful flashback that had occurred and seemed, for am moment to somehow resonate in time to the cosmos. Am I individual? In a sense yes, in a much greater sense, no. Just as each cell that composes me is individual, but also part of something much greater, something composed of a huge number of units, working and signaling to each other in harmony to produce one mind. If only humanity could achieve unity, we all transmit signals to each other, chemical, visual etc. We just haven't been able to overcome the concept of 'I' yet. I prayed for a moment that we would transcend our current position before we annihilated ourselves.
When our friends had fallen asleep, me and J walked and explored. We walked for hours without any sense of boredom or lethargy - each new glade, thicket and meadow unfolding before our eyes under the stars.
The experience was very refreshing and inspiring, however It came at a time when life was amazing and I was largely living up to targets I'd set myself following several life changing mushroom experiences. I've not tripped on mescaline for over a year and a half now, soon this must be rectified, I think by camping out in the snow and making a tea, probably half again or twice as strong as my previous doses. I love this drug SO much, and I know I've only seen the tip of the ice berg, a hopeful thought as the last year of my life has been difficult, though things are looking up now (thanks to friends family and a bit of help from selegiline!).