Since September I have made the mistake in overdoing it with meth. I live with my friend in an apartment and I basically binged for 2 days. I got into a crazy paranoid state, hearing voices, thinking everyone in the apartment knew what I did, and they were out to get me and ruin my life. This happened twice. Yes, I didn't learn my lesson the first time. The thing is, after the 2nd time, it feels like I really haven't "come back" or "recovered." Smoking weed when I'm at the apartment fucks my head up real good. I get paranoid and high levels of anxiety - even off of less than 0.1g. However, this only happens here. When I'm at home and I smoke weed, everything is fine. Also, even when I'm not stoned, if I'm coming back from my parents house to stay at the apartment, the closer I get to it, the more tense, anxious, and paranoid I become. It really takes a toll on me. It gets so bad that even going out on the balcony to smoke a cigarette is hard. I feel like I'm constantly being watched or talked about. And I'm just waiting for something bad to happen.
I was wondering if anyone experienced with something like this could give any advice. I'm starting to think that I have like, "environment related problems," with the environment being my apartment - since that is where I've freaked out twice. Has this happened to anyone else? What measures did you take to overcome it? I also have an anxiety disorder, which definitely doesn't help the problem. But even when I'm on my clonazepam, the feeling doesn't go away once I get close in proximity to my apartment. I don't know how I can live like this for the remainder of the school year.
I've washed my hands with speed. So I'm not touching it again.
Any advice is appreciated.