Guys, theres something I need to add to the former test 22 days ago and this recent test 1-2 days ago that needs mention, something that is pretty embarrassing and which some might find TMI but which must be said in the interest of other researchers.
My dissociative binges with MXE (0.5-1gr) or 3-MeO-PCE (100mg) typically span a 36 hour time period. Generally during the first 6-15 hours I am broken down, utterly psychologically destroyed, where i get progressively psychologically frailer and weaker. Then there is a turning point and I am built up stronger than ever and towards the end of the session I go supersaiyan, I go fully stratospheric, I become hard as steel, super passionate, vigorous, void of all fears and my whole personality stands wide open, I am very much alive, the opposite of the destroyed state but much stronger in comparison. I take some of this inner strength with me into the weeks after the session and use it to perform life changes.
After the first 3-MeO-PCE session this effect was exceptionally profound, I brought great clarity and vigor into my life for the three weeks after. But, something else happened that needs mention.
During that session I worked through sexual traumas and that contibued in this past session.
Guys, I'm 43 years old, I'm highly obese (365 lbs), have a sedentary lifestyle, eat unhealthy and use Haldol. Let me put it this way: my dick needed a good reason to get hard anymore. But.. After the former session I had tripped very very hard on 3-MeO-PCE during an allnighter and was exhausted.. in the midst of that I got a stormy erection which I took advantage of and orgasmed quite intensely in a state where I technically was beyond the notion of even having a dick. In the 20 days after my libido,, which was low, has been quite feisty. Eager erections, thorough sensations of orgasm and production of lots of semen, op to several times a day. OK? Well during last session I had the same occurrence of something coming up while I was fully exhausted and hallucinating out of every sense. But today, the day after, I been having maybe ten very vigorous spontaneous erections that keep coming and going like I'm a friggin teenager again. It just never stops and even at moments where I barely even think erotic thoughts.
For the TL;DR - ever since my first 3-MeO-PCE experiment and all days in between my knob, bollocks, prostrate and libido have been in overdrive. Its like I'm on frigging Cialis every day (which I never touched because of my heart condition). I'm a friggin sexual energizer bunny and not just the equipment but I am prone to getting horny like I havent been in years. There is nothing truly over the top about it but its a peak performance like I didnt believe I had on me.
So what is this? The unlocking of the sexual traumes? Persistent elevations in Dopamine D2? Persistent hypomania? Something is up here, that needed mention for other experimentors.
For the record, all my drive is increased, not just my sex drive, but rather than chaotic and fragmented it is very focussed. I feel more sane and focussed than I was before. People around me react to the changes with enthusiasm. As an online chat buddy put it "I dont know what you're doing during these meditations but keep doing it. You have balls of steel now, its like everything I like about you has been multiplied by two and your bad traits have diminished. Makes me want to do it and I hate drugs."
So there.
Also, the more I think about it I think that it wasnt a 45 min blackout but just that I dropped in and out of sleep despite the stimulation. I felt very peaceful and rested when I woke up. My muscles werent sore or springy, I haddnt convulsed and dont think I passed out in the medical sense.
As my spirit guide put it: "I asked your brain to knock you out to give you some rest for the hours to come, to give you a moment of mercy, a break from the relentless effect. During the dream you integrated what you had experienced"
I think he was right, I just couldnt imagine just dropping to sleep while in such an intense state.
I think exhaustion took over.
Oh by the way: I RESOLVED TO GET SERIOUS ABOUT LIFE AND LOSE THE WEIGHT. As of today I am a changed man
I'm just giving my opinion on how I think it's enjoyed best - and that's a single strong dose.
