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Your worst withdrawal experience.

[MENTION=406154]Napdmd[/MENTION] - if you are still in acute withdrawals expect things to get worse before they get better, but they will get better I promise. My heart goes out to you in your situation. My use was no where as high as yours, but it was daily for 10 years, and the last few years the dosage increased to unrealistic levels (5mg 10mg daily Xanax). By that point I was just trying to avoid a siezure, though I didn't know it as the time because I was ignorant on benzos, I just knew I felt horrible.
[MENTION=323027]Erikmen[/MENTION] - I think there is an upper dose limit to where benzos remain therapeutic, and I think I exceeded that threshold. My memory was so bad that I would frequently forget that ibhad already taken one, and then take another one. There were several times where I did this repeatedly in one night.
 
[MENTION=180594]Moreaux[/MENTION]
Thanks for the support. Being on a dose like that for 10 years daily must have been total hell on earth. I respect people going through this so much and have a daily responsibility or handicap (kids, work, sickness, being homeless, sick familly members etc) Luckily I do not have much obligations for now.
 
The worst withdrawal experience for me in my entire life was coming off Methadone, by far the longest and most painful ever. Definitely an experience I would never want to repeat.
 
Phenibut withdrawal. The only time I got it was when I used only 10 grams over a week. Sort of counterintuitive when I think of how I have binged on 100grams over a few weeks and only had a bit of rebound anxiety. It was 7 days of absolutrly no possibility of sleep, some severe psychosis and anxiety. It felt like all my nerves were on fire for the duration. I haven't experienced psychosis that intense on anything else.

The absolute worst withdrawal I have experienced was when I was on 150mgs a day of methadone. I always used to get antsy even after 12 hours after taking my dose as I was never sure if I could get more the next day. It was dark in my room and I was searching theough my pants for cyclobenzaprine (muscle relaxer) to take the edge off. It turns out that I had a naltrexone pill in the change pocket of my jeans and it went theough the washer and took on a similar shape to the cyclobenzaprine pill (think superman symbol). It was pretty traumativ as I wasn't expecting to be thrown into the middle of precipitated withdrawal.

I just started to feel off, like something was seriously wrong within minutes. My anxiety started taking off like a rocket and I started to sweat and mucous started streaming down my throat so intensely I couldn't breathe, I started choking on it and vomiting. I started projectile pissing fluid out of all of my orifices simultaneously. I was completely soaked in sweat, alternating from feeling like I was on fire and ice cold. My legs were literally flying around in the air uncontrollably and I was crying like a little bitch. Words cannot do this experience justice..

If I was smart I would have used this experience to quit opioids and stay that way but nope. Lol. I have horrible withdrawal experiences from a few different types of drugs but these ones stand out in my mind.
 
I can relate. The second time I went through benzo withdrawal I was completely incapacitated for weeks and swore at the time I would never do that to muself again with BENZOs or any other drug. Ended up back on stacks of oxy and xanax not long after. When will we learn?
 
I have never really adapted myself after having used benzo for all of my life. I quit it 15 months ago, after having them prescribed to me for over 20 years. I still have problems to sleep and with anxiety but cope with it differently.

Didn't really abuse them but would always have them before going to sleep, and during the weekends or work meetings. Always had them prescribed to me which was worst. As the doctors thought I need to use them, who was I to tell the contrary. The only thing I use now is Seroquel and even that is not all the time. And I hate it btw. Makes me too drowsy.
 
Erikmen said:
The worst withdrawal experience for me in my entire life was coming off Methadone, by far the longest and most painful ever. Definitely an experience I would never want to repeat.
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words do no justice, how long did it take before you felt a lot better?
 
Ah, shit. This scares me a little about the phenibut...I've been taking a few grams a day for 9 months. 5 grams a day for the past few. Benzo withdrawal was the worst one for me, psychotic break and unreal anxiety. I want to taper down the phenibut but I'm not sure exactly how to go about doing it, this really freaks me out.
 
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alexvolume2 said:
Ah, shit. This scares me a little about the phenibut...I've been taking a few grams a day for 9 months. 5 grams a day for the past few. Benzo withdrawal was the worst one for me, psychotic break and unreal anxiety. I want to taper down the phenibut but I'm not sure exactly how to go about doing it, this really freaks me out.
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Try to switch over to 50mg of baclofen and then slowly taper down.
 
Sorry if I replied to your post as I am still a greenlighter.
I would say the worst withdrawals ever we're from a year of Xanax habit of 6-8mg's a day, along with fioricet, (a weak barbiturate) I would take 6-8 at once twice a day. The rehab I was setup to go too wouldn't even admit me until I went to a phych hospital. It took 2-3 weeks to even to be able to comprehend sentences, or make since while talking. I was either in my bed mumbling to myself, or crying about nothing. The physical pain sucked but the mental pain was 100 times worse!!
I had been blocking all feelings from my body for such a long time, and then it felt like every single thing that had happened in that time period came out all at once. This was uncontrollable, and by far the worst part was being able to feel all the shitty things I had done, all the friends I lost, the girlfriend that left me, etc. Everything was all coming out and i was no longer numb to the world!!
In hindsight being able to feel again is worth all that.
And for what it's worth when in rehab I would jog and workout as often as I could once I got my coordination back and within the 28 days I was back to 90-99%.
Benzodiazepines are the worst!!! I never even had anxiety. Until I started taking Xanax!!
 
Bkuyk369, I can relate to blocking all feelings until the pile up. I swear I'm having a mid-life crisis and I'm not even in my late 40s yet! I'm regretting so many things I did and did not do the past 20 years. Regretting what I did to people before I even started on opiates. I feel ya! I really do!
 
Hello,
Worst short term WD (3 days or less) would be Xanax. Went to Cedar Point about 4 hours from us. I had been taking 2mg 4 times a day back then. Had my day's supply in pocket while we would be in park. Had my bedtime and the drive home in my pill bottle that ,at this time unknown to me, sitting at home forgotten on table. We already had motel reservations and the full intentions on spending the night. With that being said we responsibly enjoyed several adult beverages while at the park. Get back to motel, go to get my bedtime Xanax and that's when I knew I was in trouble. That alone almost sent me into a panic attack. There were four of us so one would assume we would just drive home. Like I said earlier we had every intention on staying so not one of us could have safely drove home anywhere near the legal limit, not to mention a four hour trip in the middle of the night. Statistically speaking one is better than four. If I realized sooner I could have just rationed the bars and been ok but that wasn't the case. With the half life of Xanax what it is I was sick by morning without a min of sleep. Needless to say the next 12-15 hours were almost the worst in my life. I no longer take Xanax but I never once forgot a sufficient supply the years leading up to my quiting them. Not sure how I avoided the seizures but had every other symptom on the list. To this day I won't forget the day I left the "bars"
 
Except that Xanax withdrawal takes years not days IMO/E. At least it did for me. Very little physical withdrawal comparing to methadone it's almost unnoticed. But up to this day I can't sleep well, feel too anxious most times. I'm not as social as have mentioned before. It took the calmness of my life in other words, except that it all an illusion. I wasn't ever calm. I was sedated, and when you get sedated for so many years you can't say if it's 20 or 25 years ago, things don't usually end so rapidly. Anyways, we are different and have experiences in different scenarios.
 
Just to clarify the 12-15 hours was how long until I got to the prescription bottle I forgot at the house. I didn't quit Xanax until years later and when I finally did it was with a slow taper plan.
 
Erikmen said:
Except that Xanax withdrawal takes years not days IMO/E. At least it did for me. Very little physical withdrawal comparing to methadone it's almost unnoticed. But up to this day I can't sleep well, feel too anxious most times. I'm not as social as have mentioned before. It took the calmness of my life in other words, except that it all an illusion. I wasn't ever calm. I was sedated, and when you get sedated for so many years you can't say if it's 20 or 25 years ago, things don't usually end so rapidly. Anyways, we are different and have experiences in different scenarios.
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I'm sure you have said elsewhere on this site but my memory is terrible, how long have you been off benzos? I agree, it does take years. I still suffer horrible anxiety and it's been over six years since my last benzo. I do see it improving, but I never had anxiety like this prior to benzo use. Ironically, I sleep better now than I ever did in life.

You're on point about the illusion of calmness and the reality of simply being sedated. In hindsight, I can actually see the progression of my anxiety in relation to the frequency and dose of my benzo consumption. The strange thing was I kind of saw it as it was happening but just didn't care - I wasn't going to forfeit the instant gratifyication benzos provided for me.

I have an old friend from high school that started a script for Xanax about a year ago. I tried to warn her about them but she didn't want to hear it. It's been interesting to watch the progression as an outsider - I've learned quite a bit about myself and my addiction from watching her go through the different phases and progressions. I feel bad for her knowing where this goes, but she is not receptive to discussing the dangers. I remember when I was new to benzos I would shit down anybody who tried to warn me, so I understand where she's coming from.

19blm79 said:
Just to clarify the 12-15 hours was how long until I got to the prescription bottle I forgot at the house. I didn't quit Xanax until years later and when I finally did it was with a slow taper plan.
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When you did your taper how did you feel? Do you feel like you are back to normal or still recovering from benzo use? I'm curious because I had to go cold turkey from 10 years with Xanax, and suspect that did a lot of damage, and often wonder how it would have been with a taper. Kudos for being able to stop them!
 
Sorry but I don't think I would be a reliable sorce for this question. When I quit Xanax I was also tapering off of 240 10mg Opana IR per month and weed all at once. Also anything else that floated by. It wouldn't be fair for me to try an say what caused which symptoms. All I can say is even with a conservative taper plan it was still the worst 20 days of my life. When I forgot my Xanax On a vacation I went through 12-15 hours of agony. This was the same feeling that lasted three weeks. Maybe not quite as severe because of the taper but still the principle remained. I am an addict so I will always be in recovery. By no means do I feel I am back to normal. Of course this is some what of a loaded question considering I have not went more than a day or two on something since high school and I am in my mid thirties. I am not sure that even I know what normal is for me but plan on finding out.
 
The benzo withdrawal symptoms like inner vibrations, vision problems and sound, stress and light sensitivity all went away? And the anxiety leftover is constant? After years off benzos is there any moment of joy and peace? At the moment I have a form of agoraphobia and extreme social anxiety. This will also go away with time I hope? Never had agoraphobia before. It is based off nothing because I know I have nothing to be scared of outside my house.
 
Napdmd said:
The benzo withdrawal symptoms like inner vibrations, vision problems and sound, stress and light sensitivity all went away? And the anxiety leftover is constant? After years off benzos is there any moment of joy and peace? At the moment I have a form of agoraphobia and extreme social anxiety. This will also go away with time I hope? Never had agoraphobia before. It is based off nothing because I know I have nothing to be scared of outside my house.
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They haven't for me, though they have gotten better. I still have issues with sound and an extreme light sensitivity. I've been off them for six years. I sincerely hope in time the sensory issue resolve as I have stopped a lot of activities I enjoy because of them. I no longer eat out because of noise, I cannot be around large groups of people, and find working a job to be difficult, again because of noise. Sitting in traffic is horrible with all the vehicles with loud exhausts. Anything that may have young kids or babies present is absolutely out, and I try to go grocery shopping late to avoid kids as parents seem very inconsiderate in letting their kids scream continuously. It's so much stuff that never used to bother me, and now it drives me crazy. I hate living this way.
 
I can relate with that. I was very sick to the point I had to be hospitalized. I remember telling the doctors something I wrong as it had passed almost a month and I was still struggling both physically from almost 8 years on MMT in addition to 20 years on benzodiazepines and opiates, so I was also affected psychologically. My first walk around the block took place 3 months after when I was still an in-and-out patient. In 5 months I started with exercises and from there I started to feel better.

Now, 15 months later I still can't sleep properly. I now taking smaller doses of Seroquel which still makes me drawsy and lethargic when I have to use it. And, as I mentioned in other posts still adapting to this new person I became. Although I work a lot, have a reasonable routine at home, continued to exercise 3-4 x a week, I feel that I'm still searching for balance and self acceptance. And getting over this bitter taste of having lost most of my life. Despite of all of that, I'm finally feeling alive and free, present and with few good and happy days every here and then like most people.
 
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