• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT

Chronic Pain MEGA Thread

ShroomySatori said:
Introduce me to jazz!!! I don't know anything, but all I do is improvise and I feel like I'd really enjoy it. It's really open concept right? Do you have like artists you could recommend? Are you talking about 7th and 9th chords, or other stuff? PM me if you'd like. Congrats on learning not to abuse opiates... not everyone can. I am Canadian too btw... maybe it's all that BC shit we're smokin.

I am so grateful that I am still capable of using oxycodone as prescribed, and not fiending it even after being a heroin addict for 4 years (sniffing #4). Really did learn my lesson, I went through a nightmare of fucking nightmares. It's really a choice at the end of the day... do you want to be numb, or do you want to just take the edge off and fucking suffer but still feel human? Man I didn't touch my guitar all year as a stoner! And now... I swear I found my life calling. See, I have been through too much discrimination and harassment in the engineering workplace due to my chronic pain condition, that I am honestly a little traumatized by it. I didn't want to give it up because I really did put a lot of effort into my education, and the work is easy for me if it wast for being distracted by so much agony, but it's time to move on and adapt. Use my problem solving skills, technical capabilities, and mathematics (closely connected to musical talent) for something different that my back can handle. I'm sure my knowledge of signals and systems, and object oriented programming could come in handy for recording. I can't physically handle being in an office for 10 hours a day... and they make no accommodations. Ever. If I am 'dumb' enough to tell them I have a disability, in which case they will immediately make up their mind to fire me a little down the line. I have been asked to sign legal agreements on the spot stating that I will not seek legal action, in terms of a few weeks extra pay. Those greedy fucking corporate scoundrels disgust me... but everything happens for a reason. I have a gift with guitar. I know that I do, and I want to devote as much time as I possibly can to it. I am only me once, and it seems like the coolest thing I could do with my life.

I am also in a position - having gotten clean and my family aware of it (they don't even approve of weed, so this wouldn't have happened if I was still a stoner) - where I am receiving some support from my family to get back on my feet (well, with the occasional heating pad laydown). Essentially, I have the next 4 months at minimum, to focus on nothing but my music, all day every day. All they expect of me is that I get better and recover, and it's the perfect time to hone my musical skills before getting into a band next year. I'm certain I can do it - after all this suffering? With my borderline disorder, I need a constant emotional outlet as well. It's perfect. The more I think about it, it honestly seems like everything I have experienced in life up until this moment in time has been designed to make me a very able guitarist creatively. And I have all the equipment for it too - two gorgeous fender guitars, a nice practice tube amp, and a plethora of analog pedals - I have been making killer tones, I'm actually really impressed with my progress and it hasn't even been that long since I've been feeling well enough to play (like maybe 2 weeks, after not playing at all for the past year and a half due to my addiction spiralling out of control).

I can't lay down on a heating pad at the office right? If I am in agony. I'd prefer that, and to work longer hours, but there is simply no accommodation whatsoever for people with chronic pain in the workplace (and then they report all this lost productivity in the workplace... it doesn't have to be lost, it's just that every boss I've ever had hasn't even heard of it before and they are fucking dumbass abusive fucks about it). I am simply never putting myself through that garbage again, after 3 tries when I am a very hard worker. When I begin to experience extreme pain at work, I can't just lie down on a heating pad... I guess I just look like a slacker, and I feel like one too when I am sitting there suffering my own personal hell that nobody else can see, simply overwhelmed by physical agony and unable to focus on engineering drawings.

I am putting 100% of my time and energy into guitar now. I am devoting my life to it, and I will see what I can make of that, if anything it will just be for the passion of it but I really think I could be in a band with my talent. This all happened when I quit weed, and then went through oxycodone withdrawal. I swear that I found my calling in life. This is what I was made to do, what makes all my life experience count, as I could never be creative before I had suffered. I'm practicing 4 hours a day right now (met my goal yesterday even with a nap) but soon it will be 8 or even more. Every waking moment will be devoted to my music.
Tonight, I picked up my guitar and wrote a song in C# minor that just flowed naturally. It felt really good... I will be recording it over the next week or so. Kind of a grungy thing I guess... I was in a mellow but focussed mood. I'm new to recording, and still getting my skill back after denying my passion for so long as an addict, but it's really exciting to me that I could just pick up my guitar, pick a key, and write a whole song in an hour that I personally really enjoy. It will take some time to record but I bet I'm going to have a lot of fun. See... this is the type of thing that I have NO ambition for when I'm smoking any weed at all. I'd rather sit around and 'meditate'. My back was hurting like hell the whole time, since I just dosed my percs afterwards at midnight as usual but I think that the pain gives me an edge when it comes to music.
Click to expand...
Sounds like your doing great! Here is where I started last week after being off the demon weed for 1 month http://www.jazzguitar.be . At least it's a start,lol. Seems decent, although I have just been looking for what I can get for free off the site, like this portal to "advanced" jazz chords http://www.jazzguitar.be/jazz_guitar_chords_advanced.html --------I like to mess around with cool chords to throw together songs that actually sound cool pretty quick, today I made something kinda like what you were describing. Here is a link to my soundcloud page https://soundcloud.com/m-c-confuz-dreckzloch-44 -------You'll see that I mostly have been working on hip hop type stuff, but theres a wide variety as a whole. Also I have a lot more purely instrumentals here https://soundcloud.com/confuzinstrumentalz . Link me to your tunes once ya get em recorded :) I hear ya about the workplace and being discriminated against for our pain. Mine is my neck and I definitely met some challenges during my recent internship as a substance abuse counselor when I had to always sit next to a wall during groups so that I could rest my neck. p.s. I'm not Canadian,lol
 
Cool, I will def check your stuff out. Should be a week or two before I have much recorded. I was thinking of starting a soundcloud page. I guess I'm the only Canadian that even gets prescribed opioids anymore...
 
If I ever had any doubt that it was the swimming that was helping me so much, I now have my proof. I've been visiting my family for a week and even though I brought everything with me there was never a good time to swim so I have been without it for 7 days now. I am right back to aching joints, burning feet and I'm so stiff in the mornings that it takes me an hour just to be able to move with any fluidity at all. I can hardly wait to get back to the pool!
 
herbavore said:
If I ever had any doubt that it was the swimming that was helping me so much, I now have my proof. I've been visiting my family for a week and even though I brought everything with me there was never a good time to swim so I have been without it for 7 days now. I am right back to aching joints, burning feet and I'm so stiff in the mornings that it takes me an hour just to be able to move with any fluidity at all. I can hardly wait to get back to the pool!
Click to expand...
Yes! I'm going out to jog/walk/plank/pushups right now after I stretched out and...oh yeah, better eat ;) Glad you realized the pool is where it's at!
 
:! Hey everybody...Yes, Herby, swimming is salvation for my mobility. I hope it won't take long to get your groove back!

Good to see you're doing well, Shroomy and CfZrx! Keep up the good work!

I need to whine for a minute or two, I guess. I have no one to talk to IRL. I manage to hide behind my façade of perfect because no one in my life cares to look deeper. They only care that I get-r-done, whether it's family stuff or um, family stuff including my 90 year old mom. I have 5 older siblings, but they ghosted me LONG AGO when my mom broke her hip.

My oldest brother told me nobody wants to hear my shit. How exactly is "responsibility" for my mom

My guts feel tied in knots for days now. I have disease that chokes my bowels/bladder and take Linzess 290 daily. I also take softeners to improve motility. I have so many adhesions that "gorilla glue" my organs together. No doubt I need additional surgery, but no surgeon will touch me. So...I suffer horridly.
 
This thread has helped me gain a lot of insight and realize I'm not alone with debilitating daily chronic pain.
I'm 22, have fibromyalgia and multiple sclerosis. I currently self medicate with heroin however reading these posts makes me want to take the time to visit a pain management doc. I'm scared of being labeled a junkie and turned away, however.
I move around a lot and can never keep a doctor for very long which makes prescriptions complicated. Especially when crossing state lines so frequently.
How do you get the help you need without sounding like a junkie? I also can't have any type of medicine with Tylenol due to liver failure in my past and hepatitis C currently.

Reading the posts in here really has helped.
Thanks guys
xx
 
^Yes and no......as you well know RTP it's all about the right doctor and some of my suggestions may appeal to certain Dr's with respect to their sympathies or level of concern with your mental state.

Against my better judgement I stuck with my GP and jumped through all of her hoops (saw all the expensive specialists, expensive tests etc), once I had spent close to 10k I just gave it to her straight - " Who the fuck would spend all this money for a $15.00 packet of 28x10mg OxyContin pills, when apparently I can buy the damn things in car parks from little old ladies" (according to news stories at the time). That did the trick.

Eventually I changed Dr's and on my first visit he doubled my dose! Could have saved a lot of money.

Keep in mind eventually being in pain is preferable to an opioid habit, which is just as damaging to my mental health as the pain itself
 
Chronic pain stole my 20's away, and I am starting my career very late in life although my technical education is excellent so it won't be a problem. The pain was so bad that I developed mental illness as well.. panic attacks and borderline disorder down the road, as nobody does shit for me. I am relatively young in my late 20's and the pain clinics here are a joke. I get 30mg oxy going on 5 years. That is bullshit, and I am sick of their shit, my doctor actually ridicules and degrades me saying I shouldn't need that much. What the fuck? This is no laughing matter. I'm in so much pain I can't comfortably lay in bed on a heating pad. I lost the ability to do all of my favourite activities: cycling, snowboarding, skateboarding, swimming, running, tennis... If it wasn't for an opiate I'd end my life, yet I can't get jack shit prescribed because the medical system cares more about keeping drugs away from addicts which is fucking impossible anyway. I used to base my life around athletics and now it's all more sedentary things like mainly guitar and reading outside of work. I find it extremely hard to work as there is insane discrimination in the workplace. I have to hide my chronic pain, or I get fired "without cause" - it is madness. Fucking madness.

I'm sick of the bullshit. The only thing that works for me is heroin, yet I am stigmatized to the extreme for using it to the extent that I must hide it from everyone. Which, fortunately, is very easy. I use good quality H and I don't give a fuck what people think. As I appear healthier when I've been using it as I am able to take care of myself. After 5 years I use a point a day, sniffed, I am addicted as fuck and I don't really care. It's the most effective painkiller, an antidepressant, anxiolytic, antipsychotic... and brings me energy and motivation. It helps to keep me motivated when pain has fucking totalled every aspect of my life. With the way that I will contribute to society, paying for it won't be an issue.

I will never stop using it. I stand up for my right to be pain free, more than these pretentious stoners who use the guise of medical marijuana to get a hit after work and giggle. This has happened due to drug prohibition and a medical system that is so stupid it makes me wonder if the doctors I see are even educated, since I can treat my pain far better than they can. If I relied on doctors to treat my problems, it would literally ruin my life and I have a lot of unrealized potential. I refuse to pay markups in the thousands of percentile for prescription pills that don't work a tenth as well as good quality diamorphine for pain.

I live a holistic lifestyle. I do yoga every day, I'm free of stress, I have an extremely healthy and clean diet of all organic foods and just seafood for meat, and I'm a really nice guy. I'd never steal from you, yet one mention of the word "heroin" and all hell breaks loose. My girlfriend is the only one who knows and she stands by my side because she sees how the medical system has thrown me away. My appointments are literally 30 seconds long every 3 months. I wrote my doc a 4 page note explaining how chronic pain impacts my performance at work and how to go about these issues and he would not even read it. Hand it back to me. Well he can go fuck himself. The H dealers I've known have more compassion than these pricks.

Anyways, I have my life together, I'm getting everything back. I could give a fuck less what people think if I use H. I am educated, and well aware that I am hooked and all that comes with that. How could I not, after going on 5 years. I am sick of the stigma. I am way healthier than most people, the diet I have is ridiculously clean and the only side effects I get from a point a day are some constipation, which is pretty much cured by compulsive green tea drinking, and also some itchy/scratchy which I kind of like, although like the song says, I will scratch til I bleed haha. People can get drunk as fuck til they black out, it's even encouraged, I have to fucking try and come up with an excuse for why I don't drink that shit, and individuals flaunt their pot addictions obnoxiously yet I have to hide like a fucking recluse. I'm "dirty" because I'm not getting clean and I don't want to. I'm a dirty fucking junkie. It's a good thing that nobody notices a thing, and nobody ever will, because all it does is make me happy, energized, and pain free. I'm sick of stupid fucking drug stereotypes. 30mg oxy isn't enough when I can't so much as walk. I just got fed up and I'll never return to the medical system and their bullshit. I felt extremely anxious during those appointments - like every word I said was being judged and I had to say the right things to get a prescription. It was like I had to hustle the doctor and I'm not that good at manipulating people. I was just honest about the pain and it got me nowhere. I just don't worry about that anymore because I got sick of dealing with asshole doctors. I'm doing great now and I have no desire to quit. I never will. So this fucking junkie scumbag will continue engineering the shit that entertains you in your spare time.

And I refuse to use a product containing a known liver toxin. Fuck paracetamol and the products that contain it. It seems that they do not care about liver health. Some people say fuck the police well I say fuck the doctors. That paracetamol shit began to really gross me out, as someone who is very focussed on healthy eating. I personally think good H is less cut / cleaner of a drug and that is just my opinion. I know some people see pills weighing 500mg that have 5mg of active ingredient as more pure but I just don't. I can tell good quality from bad after several years of use. If it's bad and obviously laced it gets disposed of and not through my body.

I'm sick of the discrimination, and I'm sick of the stigma, but I'll live with it. As my drug of choice doesn't stink like shit like that fucking weed, which gets me caught the very first day. I can't function on weed anyway, it makes me stupid. Yet to these cannabis purists, saying something like that instantly downgrades me to retard status. It actually does make me too stupid to engineer things, and it destroys my creativity too. I am very well educated in fact and it seems that because weed affects me in a negative way I get insulted by people for that. Like there must be something wrong with me because I don't like pot. I happen to hate stoners who use a drug as part of their image. I think that's stupid, how I know most of them are potheads within two minutes of meeting them. I know there are exceptions to that too. I just hate the pot culture / stoner image / obnoxious weed flaunting more than pot itself, which to me, is the shittiest drug I've ever used with a lot of side effects too.

I no longer believe in any drug stereotypes as my girlfriend is an extremely successful coke user who made it all on her own without the help of mommy and daddy, we like to joke that i am heroin and she is cocaine. We won't touch each other's drugs as I can't handle stimulants with my anxiety and she doesn't have back pain. I really love her. but stoner culture bullshit like that still annoys me. You don't have to say it's some god given medication to get it legalized. That tricked me into actually trying to use it for my pain, and I got psychologically addicted for a long time with no medical benefit at all. And smoking is very unhealthy. I'd compare it to a cigarette smoker, just a nasty bad habit that I could 't quit. My girlfriend despises weed and won't stand for needles either so that's good as I do not use them. I hated when I had to hide my use from her at first. I think every chemical should be legal unless it's something like fentanyl that is so potent it's actually dangerous for officers or other people to handle. If there was no prohibition, there would be no need for shit like that though. I'm getting fed up with how brainwashed this society is and how it impacts my social life and even my physical disability. That's why I'm angry tonight. It's like people want me to suffer.
 
Last edited:
Fentanyl outdated

Hello, I'm a newbe to any kind of forum, hope this is the right place.
I have had 20 back surgeries and been on Oxy since 99. I now take 1 30 mg 3x a day and it doesn't work to well anymore and I also have a pump with fentanyl. Dr said the government will not let me have 4 pills a day and the 3 R to much and I should be taking 1 every 12 hr instead of 1 every 8 hr.
Going down some stairs I fell knocking my shoulder out and chipping bone off socket, having to go for surgery. The shoulder Dr. said he wasn't going to give anything for pain, because I have a pain Dr. So before surgery I went to my pain Dr. told him of up coming surgery and he said I was a workers compensation case and he can't treat me for anything but my back. Anyone that's had shoulder surgery knows how bad this is and I have to do something or call it quits. I have some old fentanyl patches (75) that expired 2011. Will they still work? Can I cut it 4 ways and suck on 1/4 a day ?
I worked for the same company for 23 years. I've been on Oxy for 17 years and never abused this stuff, because I chase the pain not the high. Well people have told me for years that weed would help with pain, but I never touched it, until shoulder surgery and I took 1 puff 3-4 times a day for 2-3 weeks. Took a piss test at pain Dr and I was told that I'm now on a "at risk" list and now looked at as a abuser. I knew it was against the law, but had no idea U can't take it while on Oxy. I mean I didn't know I would be listed as DRUG ABUSER . There a lot of people that think that when learning U take Oxy. And I hated that and now I'm called that on paper in the medical community. I use to get 30 5mg Valium every 3 months and now my personal Dr don't like writing it. I didn't ask for any of this and I'm really at my wits end. O did I mention my beautiful wife of 36 years died in a accident 10 years ago
 
Thank God I found my way to you chronic pain patients here.
I need serious help guys. I have been a chronic pain patient with numerous injuries, chronic illnesses and major disability for many years.
(yet I have been denied disability benefits for 9 years and counting.) anyway....

i apologize for not introducing myself properly and politely but I am in dire straits and am really scared.

i had a major attack of some kind happen to me at the end of December. It started with my REM sleep behavior disorder acting up majorly and then I started throwing up some kind of black, gritty substance violently and had a severe migraine with vision loss.
After that subsided, I awoke in the night to major seizures? Felt like child birth labor contractions in my arms and both my arms went paralyzed from the shoulders down all night with the seizures continuing. I finally doubled up on my medication (normal medication is M.S Contin 75 mg a day, 1 mg Clonazepam, 10 mg Ambian) I doubled that and it made it so I could move my arms again slightly and stopped the seizures to just a shaking in the arms. This went on for about a week. I was desperately trying to get into my doctor and got to him ASAP.

I kept having the the seizures in the arms and then also in the legs too. I also continued to have the paralyzed arms if I did not double my 30 mg M.S Contin dosage. Then my hands and feet became very painful. Burning, pins and needles, numbness and a stabbing (stabbing in feet only). My hands and feet continue to be this way- burning, pins and needles, numbness, stabbing feeling along with my hands and feet are itchy and I feel the need to constantly rub my fingers together and move my hands. I have rubbed the skin off my fingertips. My hands are very weak. I have broke every glass in the house as I cannot hold onto it.

i also awoke the other night to a severe sharp and strange feeling pain in the right side of my head that lasted for a couple seconds
(thank God) over a period of a few minutes. On and off. After that, my entire memory got knocked out and I could not remember words or communicate, speak hardly at all. I'm still having difficulty with that so I really hope you can understand this message.
Please try. The worst thing that happened is that my spine went out. I could not hold myself up at all. I had to prop myself up with pillows. I could not move or support my weight at all. Again, thank God that came back but I am still weak in the back with lots of pain and I keep leaning to the side a lot. my neck feels broken too. Bad neck pain.

My body feels like I have been beat with a hammer over every inch of it. Feet are killing me, burning, stabbing, itchy, can barely walk on them. I think I may have broke my right foot during one of the seizures. Hands are still weak, burning, itchy, fingers swollen, numb at times. I'm still nauseated and have a low grade headache with sharp pains every now and then in that right side of my head. Depression is WAY bad, heavy depression such as I have never felt.

I got to my pain specialist Doctor (the only Doctor I have) on Monday. I was expecting to be referred to a movement disorder clinic or a neurologist, psychiatrist, physical therapist, MRI, tests etc. but all I got was my Doctor saying that this was my fault, says that I am causing this, not on purpose but my brain is causing this. He says that no other Doctor, test, counseling, medication, lack of medication will help. No referrals to anyone. He was angry with me for doubling up on my pain medication. I told him I was having seizures and was paralyzed and that it helped so I could move some and relieved the seizures so what was I supposed to do? I told him that I was just trying to hold myself together until I could get to him. He said that I have chronic pain and that I have to manage it with this medication and I also have to manage this medication. I cannot under ANY circumstances take more of the medication.
I did not take any extra medication until the seizures/ paralyzation occurred. I only did so because the pain was more than I could handle and it helped to release the paralysis and calm the seizures.

I basically just got a lecture about the medication. He did not and has not even raised my dosage in all these 9 years.
At least he did not leave me short on my medication but I'm having a hard time taking the normal 75 mg dosage a day while I continue to endure this. I feel grateful that he did not just kick me out as I did break the rules but I do not feel his response was appropriate or answered what is going on with my body? What can I do about it? Where can I get help?

I am beyond frustrated. Does this sound right to you guys? Has anyone had this happen to them?
Please give me advise. I have no one who cares about me and am on my own trying to deal with this horrific condition.
i don't understand why there is help for some people and no help for other people?
Could this be caused by the medications? Why has it never happened before? I repeat- I took no extra or anything else until the seizures in arms and paralyzed thing happened.

Please help. Guys I have read all your stories and I feel like a part of your group here already. I feel so badly that we are all going through so much pain and suffering! The way we get treated too is just beyond words. I'm so sorry my friends.

Thank you you for reading this and for any response at all. Thank you. God bless and I love you all and hope you all are having a good day today. With love.
 
:) Hello to ALL, whether oldies or newbies!

I empathize with those of you who face a daily battle with enduring "un-managed" pain. I have been enrolled in PM for 3 years this month. I'm no better off...worse, if anything. I don't have problems getting prescribed pain meds. I simply can't tolerate them. My GI system is mutilated, with problems not only with bowels but also bladder.

Disease has crippled my digestive system. I've been taking Linzess 290 (expensive) for over a year. It's not working well at all. I fear losing my colon. I'll literally bite a bullet first...Too many surgeries in the rearview mirror, too little hope for better days!

I DO HOPE that each of you finds some relief and some peace & happiness.
 
Oh Dixi, God bless you. It would be you who would respond to me. Thank you. My heart and soul literally bleed for you sweetie.
Im so sorry for what you are enduring. I'm so sorry for us all. It is so hard. I am sure you have other diagnosis and have seen other specialists and stuff right? Not just a pain management Doctor? Cause that is the thing is I am having all these problems that he just calls "Chronic Pain". All hell broke loose now and I thought that I would finally get referred to someone who would do some tests and find out what is going on with me. Maybe have a treatment that might help me have a better quality of life. But no. Nothing.
I don't get it. It's not even about the medication but if the medication stops the seizures and paralysis at a higher dosage then why not raise the dosage? The doctor tells me that this M.S Contin is the only thing that will help me at all but I cannot take more than 75 mg a day. which has been fine for 9 years now but I may just not make it through if I have another one of those attacks.

The other thing is that disability keeps denying me and says I cannot apply again unless I have a new diagnosis. I cannot go to any other Doctor without my pain specialist giving me a referral. He says nothing or no one else can help. Not even a psychiatrist to talk to about the severe depression. So I'm at a loss. I'm just dumbfounded. I cannot live without some money very soon. I cannot live without some help besides what I am getting very soon. I can't make it. Literally cannot do it in many ways and no help available. I have health insurance right now. I need to get diagnosed. There is obviously something - many things that I am sure have a name.

in fact- I have all the exact same symptoms as my dad who had a very rare and very hereditary, horrific disease called Multiple System Atrophy aka DOUBLE Parkinson's disease. I'm almost positive that is what I have and there was medication that at least made his quality of life better. Why does my doctor refuse to have a neurologist check me out and do MRI and stuff?
I am not terribly young but I'm 46 years old. Not like 99 and just have a few years anyway.
 
Hey dixi and all u other new guys round here!
I had terrible pain and had to up my dose by myself obviously... Now im turkey'in my ass off over here!! Get meds only again nxt Frida y... Man pains a beatch!!!
 
stefx85 said:
Hey dixi and all u other new guys round here!
I had terrible pain and had to up my dose by myself obviously... Now im turkey'in my ass off over here!! Get meds only again nxt Frida y... Man pains a beatch!!!
Click to expand...

I am afraid I will be in the same boat soon, as I upped my dosage too due to those severe seizures and paralysis.
I'm having a hard time getting my dose back down now, as I am still going through a lot. My body feels like it has been beaten with a hammer everywhere. Seizures SUCK!!! Not to mention all the other shit! This is not a life! U

No one should have to go through opiate withdrawal on top of chronic pain!! I find that to be so repulsive that when things get real bad and we cannot handle it and take a few more pills to get us through that we then have to suffer so extremely bad. The doctors should allow for that with people like us. It gets to the point sometimes where it is take a bullet or a pill I know. Luckily I have had an adequate amount of pain control except for a couple times up until now.
But I have endured the cold turkey before. I never knew about that leg kicking stuff. OMG!

Im so sorry that you are in withdrawal, until next Friday too?? FUCK! Think of it as Thursday because you can get them first thing Friday morning, it helps me to do that when that has happened. Nothing scares me more than running out of medication except these new seizures I have been enduring. I am 5,000 times more scared of those.

I have read on here about taking high dose vitamin C and also about Imodium (loperamide) helping to ease the withdrawal symptoms some. I would definitely not take the doses that some recommend but you could try a few Imodium. At least it would help with the diarrhea.

Smoke Weed if you are lucky enough to be in a place to get some. I wish I had better advise or could help you.
I am sure I'm preaching to the choir here too. Sorry, just trying to help you. Please know that you are loved.
I send you hugs and sympathy.
 
8o Hey Stef...Long time no see or hear! I'm still around...growling, showing my teeth...making doctors tuck their tails and pee themselves!

Painful One...No offense intended, if you are for real. There have been so many jerk-offs trolling since October. It's disheartening for those of us truly in pain (and in need of shared community). I'm told I'm an "enigma" because I'm a hard case. I'll let my existing posts and threads explain my situation.

Meanwhile, I hope you've seen a doctor for the "coffee grind-looking" vomit. I know...that sounds definitely like dried blood, as per poster's suggestion. I know the disgust of a PM doctor who is incompetent. I went in with no trust whatsoever, and he has proven me right. He was quick to prescribe big gun meds, with no regard for my crippling GI issues.

I'm sorry that you find yourself here amongst us PAIN PEEPS. Make yourself as comfortable as possible and stay awhile.
 
Yes yes my dear Dixi I am for real. No offensive taken. I am sorry to hear that you guys have had a lot of trolls around here.
I never can understand why people would do that. I have no energy for that crap nor desire.
I had to have my daughter explain to me that I had been "catfished" about a year ago.
I was like what?? Is that a common thing? I was about to call the police. My daughter just laughed and said its okay mom that is what people do, it happens to everyone. It blew my mind! I am old school! We don't expect, put up with or appreciate that kind of B.S. We would never even think of doing that.
It is beyond me why anyone would do that kind of stuff. I don't get it AT ALL. I'm a straight up person and I appreciate other straight up people. I am too ill to guess what is going on or be messed with in anyway. I do not and will not take kindly to that shit!

I barely have the comprehensive skills necessary to just tell it like it is. Trying to explain this crap is so frustrating to me.
I cannot remember words and write sentences the way I used to be able to do. Please excuse my swearing also as the pain has made me quite the bad language user. I really cannot control it. Does that happen to you guys?

I am sorry that I have had to seek out a chronic pain group also, but I have read here for quite awhile and I like you guys here.
At least I find myself in good company and am among cool people (with exception of the trolls) but I'm so sorry that you all have found yourself here also. Dixi sweetie I have read about your struggles and I feel for you so much. I look up to you. Your one tough person! When I read that you were leaving as you felt you had nothing else to give awhile ago, I was saying NO!! You inspire me so much and always have so much to give. Your toughness is amazing. I imagine you jumping on your Harley to get around. ;)

I did see my pain Doctor (the only Doctor I can go to without a referral from him) and told him about the black, gritty- yes coffee grounds looking puke and he did not seem concerned with it much. So??? I guess it is time to seek a new doctor or at least a second opinion. I will have to figure something out as soon as I can think better and feel well enough to get myself to the doctor again.
You guys know how hard it is to find a pain management specialist Doctor. What a frustrating situation!

Much love to you guys. I send you hugs and comfort. I wish I could make it all go away for all of us.
 
Right back atcha...Don't worry about the language. I absofuckinglutely understand, my cyber sis. I look forward to "typing" to you!
 
drchinacat said:
This thread has helped me gain a lot of insight and realize I'm not alone with debilitating daily chronic pain.
I'm 22, have fibromyalgia and multiple sclerosis. I currently self medicate with heroin however reading these posts makes me want to take the time to visit a pain management doc. I'm scared of being labeled a junkie and turned away, however.
I move around a lot and can never keep a doctor for very long which makes prescriptions complicated. Especially when crossing state lines so frequently.
How do you get the help you need without sounding like a junkie? I also can't have any type of medicine with Tylenol due to liver failure in my past and hepatitis C currently.

Reading the posts in here really has helped.
Thanks guys
xx
Click to expand...


Thank you Dixi my sister! I am so grateful to have you here to type to. :)

i wanted to address the above questions here. I feel for this person.

Pain Specialists have ways of determining a "junkie" (I hate that label too) from a person who is really in pain.
of course a person who is really in pain is going to seek relief. I bet almost every chronic pain patient has been labeled a "drug seeker" by some ignorant doctor who is not educated and did not listen closely at one time or another.

Go to a major hospital and seek out the "patient advocate". Go in full blown withdrawal and flare up from your M.S and other painful conditions. Do not try and hide anything. Let it all hang out. They found me a pain specialist and had me an appointment within the hour and offered to give me a shot in the E.R until my appointment.
The Patient Advocates are usually really compassionate people and have seen a lot of illness and have seen the way people get treated who honestly need pain medication and any other medication that will help. Chronic pain patients do not care if it is heroin, morphine, Tylenol, muscle relaxers, antibiotics, frog legs, snails, whatever- as long as it HELPS!
we are not necessarily seeking narcotics. We are seeking relief and help. We are seeking sleep, we are seeking being able to eat,
we are seeking being able to dress ourselves and move, we are seeking being able to stop moaning all the time and screaming in the night. We are seeking relief from nightmares- for example my severe pain that made my life come crashing down around me started with my left upper femur deep bone leg pain and I often dream that wolves are chewing on my bone at night. That is what it feels like and I think your mind tries to give you some explanation for why your leg is throbbing deep in the bone all night- ?
I remember thinking, "oh it's just wolves chewing on my bone try to sleep."LOL!!

Please find yourself a pain management Doctor. It is a huge help to at least have some small amount of relief and someone who does understand. The heroin you are getting off the streets has all kinds of -God only knows- stuff in it and is hurting you WAY bad. In fact I don't know how you can even do it. I too have had Liver Failure (due to overdosing on Tylenol trying to manage the pain and keep my job) and I can't even take a swallow of tap water, my body feels the toxins so bad. It makes my Liver burn. (I also know what it is like to have major digestive issues Dixi my sister, I can barely digest food at all and trying to use the bathroom- well I will spare you the details).

You (person above) need to at least have the pure, pure medication. They give me morphine. It does not hurt or damage your Liver any further. You know how bad Liver failure hurt. You don't want that again. No way! Please let me know if you need additional guidance. Try this and see how it works out. Tell the pain specialist Doctor the truth about everything. Your life depends upon it and I think you will be surprised how they can understand and help.

I pray for you. You have been in my thoughts often.
God bless.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top