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Thread: 2 Months After MDMA, still feeling messed up...

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    2 Months After MDMA, still feeling messed up... 
    Hey guys... ill try to make this short and sweet....

    Im a 21 year old male.
    i did mdma about 2 months ago at a club, when i was drinking, i didnt even do that much, but i remember a weird feeling of anxiety when it kicked it like something was wrong... then it went away and i just felt really down and out of energy... i have done E/mdma it in the past, (few years ago) What i have been experiencing is some sort of "anxiety" my vision has been blurry, constantly feel like im in a dreamy type of state, (depersonilaztion/derealization?) basicly my whole preception is alterd.... i have moments where i feel my head tingley and my inner bridge of my foot tingle/twitch..... just dont feel the same as i used to... everything is different, having problems concentrating and having lack of motivational aswell... and i believe im depressed too (probably because ive been living in this terrible state for 2 months) i remember this happened once before from doing cocaine... and it went away after two weeks.... Anyways i went to my doctor, told him everything, he thinks its some kind of anxiety... gave me clonazipam.... i stopped taking it because it made me feel like a zombie.

    Im overall healthy with no other complications....
    What i have been taking to help me is a good multivitamin, omega 3,6,9, 5-htp, and exercising regularly..... I have also stopped taking any king of stimulatn, (coffe, ciggarettes, energy drinks, alcohol, pop) I think it has helped a little bit in regards to the clearity of my thinking... being able to think a bit clearer with less brain fog... but i still have this Terrible feeling over me, its almost as if im stuck in a bad weed high! thats probably the best way to discribe it.

    Weed would never really react properly with me, would give me this feeling, never enjoyed the high....

    What i would give to feel normal again........

    Anyways guys, i just wanted to say thank you for taking the time to read this, and if you could give me some advice if you have been in this situation, i would really really appreciate it.... im starting to feel pretty helpless, this has ruined my life... literally.

    thanks again... Nathan.
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    I know exactly how you feel.
    I've been doing drugs for so long, I don't know even know what's normal anymore.
    It's like I seriously lost touch with reality.
    All I can say is....
    keep doing what you're doing, with the vitamins and exercising.
    Try to stay as busy as possible, and try to justput it out of your mind you know?
    Like if you keep trying to figure a way out of your depression and thinking something is wrong, you're gonna be thinking about it constantly and stay depressed.
    Sorry, that's not the best advice. That's just how I try to get through it.
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    Thanks for your reply..... sounds like i could give you some pointers :/ lol
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    I was in that stage a few months ago after a month long heavy DXM binge. My head still isn't 100% clear. (But then again I smoke pot and still occasionally roll.)
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    how long did it last?
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    Bluelighter ShAYZoN's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    G.T.L. My Life Is Bro!!
    Bad pills...?
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    Wasnt bad pills.... a few of my buddys did the exact same ones.... and more then i did... and there fine....
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    I had a similar feeling after a mephedrone/MDMA phase over a few months. I spaced things out nicely, but later started to worry about health effects, which led to anxiety similar to yours. I found what helped me out was just forgetting about it, like another poster said. This is hard, but seriously once you do life is good. I've worked myself into a state of zen from facing fears that I have (heights) full on and realising that YOU control your mind and not your MIND controlling you. You did some MDMA 2 months ago and you feel anxiety? This is pure imagination and your mind playing tricks on you. Seriously, hang around people that make you feel good and laugh. Life it too good to worry about it.

    My 2 cents
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    thanks for your reply, honestly bro, i wish it was that easy to forget about it... if it was just me worrying about my health im sure i would have already forgotten by now... but its more then that my vision is actually like im constantly in a dream state... its messed up.... feel like im not perceiving life as i should... its hard to explain, unless your experiencing it.... if someone told me the symptoms of what i was experiencing and i haven't experienced it before, i would probably think there over exaggerating.... also its hard to forget something like that when you notice your body and mind is not right....

    thanks for your imput there.... hopefully i can find someone who has been through whatever im going through.
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    Bluelighter eLW's Avatar
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    Oct 2009
    Go get blood test done. People are sayng "i was in same state"-thats dumb .Maybe you have something wrong that causes that. Check your LIVER, Kidneys heart brain scan - if you want to be sure.IMO full body scan.
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    Blood test done - everything came back fine.
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    Bluelighter eLW's Avatar
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    Oct 2009
    Ok, nice i think its in your head you should see a doctor SSRIs help with that.
    sounds like derealization.
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    i heard doing SSRI's can potentially make u worse.... kinda wanted to do the meds as a last resort kinda thing... if all else fails.... but 2 months is kinda pushing it....
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    it's possible you triggered a mental disorder, example, manic depression, anxiety disorder, schizophrenia.

    i would take all of those disorders seriously, just cause your not hallucinating and completely gone doesn;t mean you don't have a bipolar disorder or a schizophrenic disorder, you could have a mild case.

    i only say this because MDMA is a mild psychadelic, and all psychadelics are known to bring forth latent mental disorders.

    my uncle was an intelligent college student in the hippys era, did his share of psychadelic and drug experimentation and he's schizophrenic now.

    I'm not saying your schizo.. i was more or less using that as an example, i think you're either just going through a phase of depression, i go through them, or a phase of high anxiety, i get em too
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    do you think a "phase of depression & anxiety" could give me those symptoms?
    ....i have a date set with a mental health clinic... my doctor refereed me to... but its going to be a while until they see me.....
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    Drizzy I really hope you read this, because I can tell you I know EXACTLY what your going through.

    Let me explain: I did tons of mdma in the past, and then one night rolling I had a strange roll where I just felt like my personality just vanished and I felt anxious. After all the pills I started noticing I was just changing, and I got depressed all the time, I felt like people thought I was weird, I focused in on thoughts that I shouldnt have been thinking about, started repeating myself without noticing, and overrall just felt horrible.

    I said I wasnt going to do mdma and change because I couldnt take it. Beyond that, I sttarted going through very depressional issues because of it, and felt like the world was closing in on me. took about 7-8 months of not using for me to return back to my usual self. Within this time I started excercising alot (i know people repeat that alot but it really does help), started eating alot more vegetables, and seeked a psychiatrist who put me on lexapro, an ssri, and between that and getting therapy I can tell you I feel back to my usual self. It honestly it a life saver, and while alot of people may tell you different, lexpro helped retore my seratonin levels back to its normal ways and I feel much better about not only my life, but myself.

    Btw it took about 2 months of lexapro before it started having an effect. I also got involved with people alot more, and meeting others in this time.

    Trust me...ull return back to your normal self again I promise, but like my drug therapist told me, it takes time.

    Best of luck too you.
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    Much respect to you^^^^sounds like anti depressants really helped

    ,as for the original poster it really does sound like you may have awakened some type of panic disorder. maybe the mdma you had had amp/speed in them..(you say coke did this in the past).I know when i do speedy beans (and i try to stay away) i get blurry vision as far as having an altered perception..mdma itself can sometimes evoke this type of vision, some may not be happy with what they see, after all it is a tool for awakening your mind..try to think of it as a positive experience most people are just sucked into 1 way of thinking...also sounds like your doc may be on the right track.try taking a half of 1 of your clonapazm when you feel these feelings starting to overtake you, sometimes knowing and convincing yourself that just a bit of relief is on the way may help you to take control and calm yourself a little..i know people that weed literally does give panic attacks too so truthfully this is what it sounds like..just my .02

    good luck im sure you can control this and bounce back...PEACE..olskoolrollrz
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    also the tingling feeling is common wit severe anxiety attacks as well...again good luck it can be controled
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    thanks for your reply, did you experience blurry vision and depersonalization?
    Last edited by drizzydrake; 03-07-2010 at 17:34.
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    Bluelighter eLW's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    It should be. Sertralin(zoloft) is very effective. big half life and almost no side effects coming off them is easy also. Go to doctor ask for it it, helps imo 99% im sure.
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    If you have the ability to move, I would whole heartily recommend Yoga chikitsa.
    It means yoga therapy. It's the name for the first series of ashtanga yoga asana postures.

    If you have possibility to practice it with qualified teacher - go for it.

    It can *not* be practiced at the same time as taking synthetic drugs or strong herbs.

    The practice has very strong effect if done 4-6 times a week. It balances the nervous system and hormones, it strengthens the sense organs. It cleanses the body in specific way indeed.

    In my honest opinion, the drugs should be the last choice. They may help for some symptom, but may also hide the underlying imbalance that has taken place in your body.
    The practice is completely other way to approach bodily and mental problems than drugs.
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    Bluelighter masterdome's Avatar
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    May 2010
    Forever Trapped in 1999
    I've had post mdma anxiety and depression in the past. Therapy and SSRIs helped me the most. I hope you feel better soon!
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    masterdome... did it fully subside?? and after how long?
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    Bluelighter F1n1shed's Avatar
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    Oct 2008
    SSRI's are the pussy way out, give it time like the man said. With the case of MDMA time is truly essential meaning at LEAST like 5 months. Im at the 8 month mark of no mdma and feeling alot better yet still having some anxiety and mild depression which i blame on my daily marijuana intake. I also dabble in some other pharmaceuticals but those are ALL under control. The drug that really changed me drastically and quickly was MDMA. Weed also changed me for the worse but that is over 4 years of smoking, 2-3 of those years being daily use of high grade medical weed. With time and absence of all drugs the negative effects will reverse. With time and still using drugs besides mdma it will still reverse, just a ton slower.
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    i really do hope so... i cant believe one night actually fucked me up so bad...
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