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Secret of AA: After 75 Years, We Don’t Know How It Works

phr

Ex-Bluelighter
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May 25, 2004
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The church will be closed tomorrow, and the drunks are freaking out. An elderly lady in a prim white blouse has just delivered the bad news, with deep apologies: A major blizzard is scheduled to wallop Manhattan tonight, and up to a foot of snow will cover the ground by dawn. The church, located on the Upper West Side, can’t ask its staff to risk a dangerous commute. Unfortunately, that means it must cancel the Alcoholics Anonymous meeting held daily in the basement.

A worried murmur ripples through the room. “Wha… what are we supposed to do?” asks a woman in her mid-twenties with smudged black eyeliner. She’s in rough shape, having emerged from a multiday alcohol-and-cocaine bender that morning. “The snow, it’s going to close everything,” she says, her cigarette-addled voice tinged with panic. “Everything!” She’s on the verge of tears.

A mustachioed man in skintight jeans stands and reads off the number for a hotline that provides up-to-the-minute meeting schedules. He assures his fellow alcoholics that some groups will still convene tomorrow despite the weather. Anyone who needs an AA fix will be able to get one, though it may require an icy trek across the city.

That won’t be a problem for a thickset man in a baggy beige sweat suit. “Doesn’t matter how much snow we get—a foot, 10 feet piled up in front of the door,” he says. “I will leave my apartment tomorrow and go find a meeting.”

He clasps his hands together and draws them to his heart: “You understand me? I need this.” Daily meetings, the man says, are all that prevent him from winding up dead in the gutter, shoes gone because he sold them for booze or crack. And he hasn’t had a drink in more than a decade.

The resolve is striking, though not entirely surprising. AA has been inspiring this sort of ardent devotion for 75 years. It was in June 1935, amid the gloom of the Great Depression, that a failed stockbroker and reformed lush named Bill Wilson founded the organization after meeting God in a hospital room. He codified his method in the 12 steps, the rules at the heart of AA. Entirely lacking in medical training, Wilson created the steps by cribbing ideas from religion and philosophy, then massaging them into a pithy list with a structure inspired by the Bible.

The 200-word instruction set has since become the cornerstone of addiction treatment in this country, where an estimated 23 million people grapple with severe alcohol or drug abuse—more than twice the number of Americans afflicted with cancer. Some 1.2 million people belong to one of AA’s 55,000 meeting groups in the US, while countless others embark on the steps at one of the nation’s 11,000 professional treatment centers. Anyone who seeks help in curbing a drug or alcohol problem is bound to encounter Wilson’s system on the road to recovery.

It’s all quite an achievement for a onetime broken-down drunk. And Wilson’s success is even more impressive when you consider that AA and its steps have become ubiquitous despite the fact that no one is quite sure how—or, for that matter, how well—they work. The organization is notoriously difficult to study, thanks to its insistence on anonymity and its fluid membership. And AA’s method, which requires “surrender” to a vaguely defined “higher power,” involves the kind of spiritual revelations that neuroscientists have only begun to explore.

What we do know, however, is that despite all we’ve learned over the past few decades about psychology, neurology, and human behavior, contemporary medicine has yet to devise anything that works markedly better. “In my 20 years of treating addicts, I’ve never seen anything else that comes close to the 12 steps,” says Drew Pinsky, the addiction-medicine specialist who hosts VH1’s Celebrity Rehab. “In my world, if someone says they don’t want to do the 12 steps, I know they aren’t going to get better.”

Wilson may have operated on intuition, but somehow he managed to tap into mechanisms that counter the complex psychological and neurological processes through which addiction wreaks havoc. And while AA’s ability to accomplish this remarkable feat is not yet understood, modern research into behavior dynamics and neuroscience is beginning to provide some tantalizing clues.

One thing is certain, though: AA doesn’t work for everybody. In fact, it doesn’t work for the vast majority of people who try it. And understanding more about who it does help, and why, is likely our best shot at finally developing a system that improves on Wilson’s amateur scheme for living without the bottle.

AA originated on the worst night of Bill Wilson’s life. It was December 14, 1934, and Wilson was drying out at Towns Hospital, a ritzy Manhattan detox center. He’d been there three times before, but he’d always returned to drinking soon after he was released. The 39-year-old had spent his entire adult life chasing the ecstasy he had felt upon tasting his first cocktail some 17 years earlier. That quest destroyed his career, landed him deeply in debt, and convinced doctors that he was destined for institutionalization.

Wilson had been quite a mess when he checked in the day before, so the attending physician, William Silkworth, subjected him to a detox regimen known as the Belladonna Cure—hourly infusions of a hallucinogenic drug made from a poisonous plant. The drug was coursing through Wilson’s system when he received a visit from an old drinking buddy, Ebby Thacher, who had recently found religion and given up alcohol. Thacher pleaded with Wilson to do likewise. “Realize you are licked, admit it, and get willing to turn your life over to God,” Thacher counseled his desperate friend. Wilson, a confirmed agnostic, gagged at the thought of asking a supernatural being for help.

But later, as he writhed in his hospital bed, still heavily under the influence of belladonna, Wilson decided to give God a try. “If there is a God, let Him show Himself!” he cried out. “I am ready to do anything. Anything!”

What happened next is an essential piece of AA lore: A white light filled Wilson’s hospital room, and God revealed himself to the shattered stockbroker. “It seemed to me, in the mind’s eye, that I was on a mountain and that a wind not of air but of spirit was blowing,” he later said. “And then it burst upon me that I was a free man.” Wilson would never drink again.

At that time, the conventional wisdom was that alcoholics simply lacked moral fortitude. The best science could offer was detoxification with an array of purgatives, followed by earnest pleas for the drinker to think of his loved ones. When this approach failed, alcoholics were often consigned to bleak state hospitals. But having come back from the edge himself, Wilson refused to believe his fellow inebriates were hopeless. He resolved to save them by teaching them to surrender to God, exactly as Thacher had taught him.

Following Thacher’s lead, Wilson joined the Oxford Group, a Christian movement that was in vogue among wealthy mainstream Protestants. Headed by a an ex-YMCA missionary named Frank Buchman, who stirred controversy with his lavish lifestyle and attempts to convert Adolf Hitler, the Oxford Group combined religion with pop psychology, stressing that all people can achieve happiness through moral improvement. To help reach this goal, the organization’s members were encouraged to meet in private homes so they could study devotional literature together and share their inmost thoughts.

In May 1935, while on an extended business trip to Akron, Ohio, Wilson began attending Oxford Group meetings at the home of a local industrialist. It was through the group that he met a surgeon and closet alcoholic named Robert Smith. For weeks, Wilson urged the oft-soused doctor to admit that only God could eliminate his compulsion to drink. Finally, on June 10, 1935, Smith (known to millions today as Dr. Bob) gave in. The date of Dr. Bob’s surrender became the official founding date of Alcoholics Anonymous.

In its earliest days, AA existed within the confines of the Oxford Group, offering special meetings for members who wished to end their dependence on alcohol. But Wilson and his followers quickly broke away, in large part because Wilson dreamed of creating a truly mass movement, not one confined to the elites Buchman targeted. To spread his message of salvation, Wilson started writing what would become AA’s sacred text: Alcoholics Anonymous, now better known as the Big Book.

The core of AA is found in chapter five, entitled “How It Works.” It is here that Wilson lists the 12 steps, which he first scrawled out in pencil in 1939. Wilson settled on the number 12 because there were 12 apostles.

In writing the steps, Wilson drew on the Oxford Group’s precepts and borrowed heavily from William James’ classic The Varieties of Religious Experience, which Wilson read shortly after his belladonna-fueled revelation at Towns Hospital. He was deeply affected by an observation that James made regarding alcoholism: that the only cure for the affliction is “religiomania.” The steps were thus designed to induce an intense commitment, because Wilson wanted his system to be every bit as habit-forming as booze.

The first steps famously ask members to admit their powerlessness over alcohol and to appeal to a higher power for help. Members are then required to enumerate their faults, share them with their meeting group, apologize to those they’ve wronged, and engage in regular prayer or meditation. Finally, the last step makes AA a lifelong duty: “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.” This requirement guarantees not only that current members will find new recruits but that they can never truly “graduate” from the program.

Aside from the steps, AA has one other cardinal rule: anonymity. Wilson was adamant that the anonymous component of AA be taken seriously, not because of the social stigma associated with alcoholism, but rather to protect the nascent organization from ridicule. He explained the logic in a letter to a friend:

[In the past], alcoholics who talked too much on public platforms were likely to become inflated and get drunk again. Our principle of anonymity, so far as the general public is concerned, partly corrects this difficulty by preventing any individual receiving a lot of newspaper or magazine publicity, then collapsing and discrediting AA.

AA boomed in the early 1940s, aided by a glowing Saturday Evening Post profile and the public admission by a Cleveland Indians catcher, Rollie Hemsley, that joining the organization had done wonders for his game. Wilson and the founding members were not quite prepared for the sudden success. “You had really crazy things going on,” says William L. White, author of Slaying the Dragon: The History of Addiction Treatment and Recovery in America. “Some AA groups were preparing to run AA hospitals, and there was this whole question of whether they should have paid AA missionaries. You even had some reports of AA groups drinking beers at their meetings.”

The growing pains spurred Wilson to write AA’s governing principles, known as the 12 traditions. At a time when fraternal orders and churches with strict hierarchies dominated American social life, Wilson opted for something revolutionary: deliberate organizational chaos. He permitted each group to set its own rules, as long as they didn’t conflict with the traditions or the steps. Charging a fee was forbidden, as was the use of the AA brand to endorse anything that might generate revenue. “If you look at this on paper, it seems like it could never work,” White says. “It’s basically anarchy.” But this loose structure actually helped AA flourish. Not only could anyone start an AA group at any time, but they could tailor each meeting to suit regional or local tastes. And by condemning itself to poverty, AA maintained a posture of moral legitimacy.

Despite the decision to forbid members from receiving pay for AA-related activity, it had no problem letting professional institutions integrate the 12 steps into their treatment programs. AA did not object when Hazelden, a Minnesota facility founded in 1947 as “a sanatorium for curable alcoholics of the professional class,” made the steps the foundation of its treatment model. Nor did AA try to stop the proliferation of steps-centered addiction groups from adopting the Anonymous name: Narcotics Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous. No money ever changed hands—the steps essentially served as open source code that anyone was free to build upon, adding whatever features they wished. (Food Addicts Anonymous, for example, requires its members to weigh their meals.)

By the early 1950s, as AA membership reached 100,000, Wilson began to step back from his invention. Deeply depressed and an incorrigible chain smoker, he would go on to experiment with LSD before dying from emphysema in 1971. By that point, AA had become ingrained in American culture; even people who’d never touched a drop of liquor could name at least a few of the steps.

“For nearly 30 years, I have been saying Alcoholics Anonymous is the most effective self-help group in the world,” advice columnist Ann Landers wrote in 1986. “The good accomplished by this fellowship is inestimable … God bless AA.”

There’s no doubt that when AA works, it can be transformative. But what aspect of the program deserves most of the credit? Is it the act of surrendering to a higher power? The making of amends to people a drinker has wronged? The simple admission that you have a problem? Stunningly, even the most highly regarded AA experts have no idea. “These are questions we’ve been trying to answer for, golly, 30 or 40 years now,” says Lee Ann Kaskutas, senior scientist at the Alcohol Research Group in Emeryville, California. “We can’t find anything that completely holds water.”

The problem is so vexing, in fact, that addiction professionals have largely accepted that AA itself will always be an enigma. But research in other fields—primarily behavior change and neurology—offers some insight into what exactly is happening in those church basements.

To begin with, there is evidence that a big part of AA’s effectiveness may have nothing to do with the actual steps. It may derive from something more fundamental: the power of the group. Psychologists have long known that one of the best ways to change human behavior is to gather people with similar problems into groups, rather than treat them individually. The first to note this phenomenon was Joseph Pratt, a Boston physician who started organizing weekly meetings of tubercular patients in 1905. These groups were intended to teach members better health habits, but Pratt quickly realized they were also effective at lifting emotional spirits, by giving patients the chance to share their tales of hardship. (“In a common disease, they have a bond,” he would later observe.) More than 70 years later, after a review of nearly 200 articles on group therapy, a pair of Stanford University researchers pinpointed why the approach works so well: “Members find the group to be a compelling emotional experience; they develop close bonds with the other members and are deeply influenced by their acceptance and feedback.”

Researchers continue to be surprised by just how powerful this effect is. For example, a study published last year in the journal Behavior Therapy concluded that group therapy is highly effective in treating post-traumatic stress disorder: 88.3 percent of the study’s subjects who underwent group therapy no longer exhibited PTSD symptoms after completing their sessions, versus just 31.3 percent of those who received minimal one-on-one interaction.

The importance of this is reflected by the fact that the more deeply AA members commit to the group, rather than just the program, the better they fare. According to J. Scott Tonigan, a research professor at the University of New Mexico’s Center on Alcoholism, Substance Abuse, and Addictions, numerous studies show that AA members who become involved in activities like sponsorship—becoming a mentor to someone just starting out—are more likely to stay sober than those who simply attend meetings.

Addiction-medicine specialists often raise the concern that AA meetings aren’t led by professionals. But there is evidence that this may actually help foster a sense of intimacy between members, since the fundamental AA relationship is between fellow alcoholics rather than between alcoholics and the therapist. These close social bonds allow members to slowly learn how to connect to others without the lubricating effects of alcohol. In a study published last year in Alcoholism Treatment Quarterly, Tonigan found that “participation in AA is associated with an increased sense of security, comfort, and mutuality in close relationships.”

And close relationships, it turns out, have an even more profound effect on us than previously thought. A 2007 study of a Boston-area community, for example, found that a person’s odds of becoming obese increase by 71 percent if they have a same-sex friend who is also obese. (Wired covered the study in more detail in “The Buddy System,” issue 17.10.) And in April, a paper published in Annals of Internal Medicine concluded that a person is 50 percent more likely to be a heavy drinker if a friend or relative is a boozehound. Even if an alcoholic’s nonsober friends are outwardly supportive, simply being around people for whom drinking remains the norm can nudge someone into relapse. It is much safer to become immersed in AA’s culture, where activities such as studying the Big Book supplant hanging out with old acquaintances who tipple.

As for the steps themselves, there is evidence that the act of public confession—enshrined in the fifth step—plays an especially crucial role in the recovery process. When AA members stand up and share their emotionally searing tales of lost weekends, ruined relationships, and other liquor-fueled low points, they develop new levels of self-awareness. And that process may help reinvigorate the prefrontal cortex, a part of the brain that is gravely weakened by alcohol abuse.

To understand the prefrontal cortex’s role in both addiction and recovery, you first need to understand how alcohol affects the brain. Booze works its magic in an area called the mesolimbic pathway—the reward system. When we experience something pleasurable, like a fine meal or good sex, this pathway squirts out dopamine, a neurotransmitter that creates a feeling of bliss. This is how we learn to pursue behaviors that benefit us, our families, and our species.

When alcohol hits the mesolimbic pathway, it triggers the rapid release of dopamine, thereby creating a pleasurable high. For most people, that buzz simply isn’t momentous enough to become the focal point of their lives. Or if it is, they are able to control their desire to chase it with reckless abandon. But others aren’t so fortunate: Whether by virtue of genes that make them unusually sensitive to dopamine’s effects, or circumstances that lead them to seek chemical solace, they cannot resist the siren call of booze.

Once an alcoholic starts drinking heavily, the mesolimbic pathway responds by cutting down its production of dopamine. Alcohol also messes with the balance between two other neurotransmitters: GABA and glutamate. Alcohol spurs the release of more GABA, which inhibits neural activity, and clamps down on glutamate, which stimulates the brain. Combined with a shortage of dopamine, this makes the reward system increasingly lethargic, so it becomes harder and harder to rouse into action. That’s why long-term boozers must knock back seven or eight whiskeys just to feel “normal.” And why little else in life brings hardcore alcoholics pleasure of any kind.

As dependence grows, alcoholics also lose the ability to properly regulate their behavior. This regulation is the responsibility of the prefrontal cortex, which is charged with keeping the rest of the brain apprised of the consequences of harmful actions. But mind-altering substances slowly rob the cortex of so-called synaptic plasticity, which makes it harder for neurons to communicate with one another. When this happens, alcoholics become less likely to stop drinking, since their prefrontal cortex cannot effectively warn of the dangers of bad habits.

This is why even though some people may be fully cognizant of the problems that result from drinking, they don’t do anything to avoid them. “They’ll say, ‘Oh, my family is falling apart, I’ve been arrested twice,’” says Peter Kalivas, a neuroscientist at the Medical University of South Carolina in Charleston. “They can list all of these negative consequences, but they can’t take that information and manhandle their habits.”

The loss of synaptic plasticity is thought to be a major reason why more than 90 percent of recovering alcoholics relapse at some point. The newly sober are constantly bombarded with sensory cues that their brain associates with their pleasurable habit. Because the synapses in their prefrontal cortex are still damaged, they have a tough time resisting the urges created by these triggers. Any small reminder of their former life—the scent of stale beer, the clink of toasting glasses—is enough to knock them off the wagon.

AA, it seems, helps neutralize the power of these sensory cues by whipping the prefrontal cortex back into shape. Publicly revealing one’s deepest flaws and hearing others do likewise forces a person to confront the terrible consequences of their alcoholism—something that is very difficult to do all alone. This, in turn, prods the impaired prefrontal cortex into resuming its regulatory mission. “The brain is designed to respond to experiences,” says Steven Grant, chief of the clinical neuroscience branch of the National Institute on Drug Abuse. “I have no doubt that these therapeutic processes change the brain.” And the more that critical part of the brain is compelled to operate as designed, the more it springs back to its pre-addiction state. While it’s on the mend, AA functions as a temporary replacement—a prefrontal cortex made up of a cast of fellow drunks in a church basement, rather than neurons and synapses.

Finally, the 12 steps address another major risk factor for relapse: stress. Recovering alcoholics are often burdened by memories of the nasty things they did while wasted. When they bump into old acquaintances they mistreated, the guilt can become overwhelming. The resulting stress causes their brains to secrete a hormone that releases corticotropin, which has been shown to cause relapse in alcohol-dependent lab rats.

AA addresses this risk with the eighth and ninth steps, which require alcoholics to make amends to people they’ve wronged. This can alleviate feelings of guilt and in turn limit the stress that may undermine a person’s fragile sobriety.

Bill W., as Wilson is known today, didn’t know the first thing about corticotropin-releasing hormone or the prefrontal cortex, of course. His only aim was to harness spirituality in the hopes of giving fellow alcoholics the strength to overcome their disease. But in developing a system to lead drunks to God, he accidentally created something that deeply affects the brain—a system that has now lasted for three-quarters of a century and shows no signs of disappearing.

But how effective is AA? That seemingly simple question has proven maddeningly hard to answer. Ask an addiction researcher a straightforward question about AA’s success rate and you’ll invariably get a distressingly vague answer. Despite thousands of studies conducted over the decades, no one has yet satisfactorily explained why some succeed in AA while others don’t, or even what percentage of alcoholics who try the steps will eventually become sober as a result.

A big part of the problem, of course, is AA’s strict anonymity policy, which makes it difficult for researchers to track members over months and years. It is also challenging to collect data from chronic substance abusers, a population that’s prone to lying. But researchers are most stymied by the fact that AA’s efficacy cannot be tested in a randomized experiment, the scientific gold standard.

“If you try to randomly assign people to AA, you have a problem, because AA is free and is available all over the place,” says Alcohol Research Group’s Kaskutas. “Plus, some people will just hate it, and you can’t force them to keep going.” In other words, given the organization’s open-door membership policy, it would be nearly impossible for researchers to prevent people in a control group from sneaking off to an AA meeting and thereby tainting the data. On the other hand, many subjects would inevitably loathe AA and drop out of the study altogether.

Another research quandary is how to account for the selection effect. AA is known for doing a better job of retaining drinkers who’ve hit rock bottom than those who still have a ways to fall. But having totally destroyed their lives, the most desperate alcoholics may already be committed to sobriety before ever setting foot inside a church basement. If so, it might be their personal commitment, rather than AA, that is ultimately responsible for their ability to quit.

As a result of these complications, AA research tends to come to wildly divergent conclusions, often depending on an investigator’s biases. The group’s “cure rate” has been estimated at anywhere from 75 percent to 5 percent, extremes that seem far-fetched. Even the most widely cited (and carefully conducted) studies are often marred by obvious flaws. A 1999 meta-analysis of 21 existing studies, for example, concluded that AA members actually fared worse than drinkers who received no treatment at all. The authors acknowledged, however, that many of the subjects were coerced into attending AA by court order. Such forced attendees have little shot at benefiting from any sort of therapy—it’s widely agreed that a sincere desire to stop drinking is a mandatory prerequisite for getting sober.

Yet a growing body of evidence suggests that while AA is certainly no miracle cure, people who become deeply involved in the program usually do well over the long haul. In a 2006 study, for example, two Stanford psychiatrists chronicled the fates of 628 alcoholics they managed to track over a 16-year period. They concluded that subjects who attended AA meetings frequently were more likely to be sober than those who merely dabbled in the organization. The University of New Mexico’s Tonigan says the relationship between first-year attendance and long-term sobriety is small but valid: In the language of statistics, the correlation is around 0.3, which is right on the borderline between weak and modest (0 meaning no relationship, and 1.0 being a perfect one-to-one relationship).

“I’ve been involved in a couple of meta-analyses of AA, which collapse the findings across many studies,” Tonigan says. “They generally all come to the same conclusion, which is that AA is beneficial for many but not all individuals, and that the benefit is modest but significant … I think that is, scientifically speaking, a very valid statement.”

That statement is also supported by the results of a landmark study that examined how the steps perform when taught in clinical settings as opposed to church basements. Between 1989 and 1997, a multisite study called Project Match randomly assigned more than 1,700 alcoholics to one of three popular therapies used at professional treatment centers. The first was called 12-step facilitation, in which a licensed therapist guides patients through Bill Wilson’s method. The second was cognitive behavioral therapy, which trains alcoholics to identify the situations that spur them to drink, so they can avoid tempting circumstances. And the last was motivational enhancement therapy, a one-on-one interviewing process designed to sharpen a person’s reasons for getting sober.

Project Match ultimately concluded that all three of these therapies were more or less equally effective at reducing alcohol intake among subjects. But 12-step facilitation clearly beat the competition in two important respects: It was more effective for alcoholics without other psychiatric problems, and it did a better job of inspiring total abstinence as opposed to a mere reduction in drinking. The steps, in other words, actually worked slightly better than therapies of more recent vintage, which were devised by medical professionals rather than an alcoholic stockbroker.

AA is still far from ideal. The sad fact remains that the program’s failures vastly outnumber its success stories. According to Tonigan, upwards of 70 percent of people who pass through AA will never make it to their one-year anniversary, and relapse is common even among regular attendees. This raises an important question: Are there ways to improve Wilson’s aging system?

AA is obviously not about to overhaul its 75-year-old formula. But there are a few alterations that would almost certainly make the program work for more people, starting with better quality control. Since no central body regulates the day-to-day operations of local groups, some meetings are dominated by ornery old-timers who delight in belittling newcomers. Others are prowled by men looking to introduce nubile newcomers to the “13th step”—AA slang for sexual exploitation. Finding a way to impose some basic oversight of such bad behavior would likely reduce the dropout rate.

Some AA groups would also do well to shed their resistance to medication. There is nothing in the Big Book that forbids the use of prescription drugs, but there are plenty of meetings where such pharmaceutical aids are frowned upon. Perhaps this sentiment made sense back in AA’s formative years, when a variety of snake oils were touted as alcoholism cures. But today there are several medications that have been proven to decrease the odds of relapse. One such drug, acamprosate, restores a healthy balance between glutamate and GABA, two of the neurotransmitters that get out of whack in the brains of alcoholics. Naltrexone, commonly used to treat heroin addiction, appears effective at preventing relapse by alcoholics who possess a certain genetic variant related to an important mu-opioid receptor. Both can be valuable aids in the recovery process.

But the best way to bolster AA’s success rate may be to increase the personalization of addiction medicine. “We’re starting to get an inkling that something about the initial state of the brain prior to therapy may be predictive as to whether that therapy will be a success,” says Grant of the National Institute on Drug Abuse. In other words, certain brains may be primed to respond well to some therapies and less so to others.

NIDA and other government agencies are currently funding several studies that aim to use neural imaging technology to observe how various therapies affect addicted brains. One alcoholic might have a mesolimbic pathway that normalizes quickly after receiving a certain type of therapy, for example, while another will still suffer from dopamine disregulation despite receiving the same care. The hope is that these studies will reveal whether neurobiology can be used to predict a person’s odds of benefitting from one treatment over another. Perhaps there is one sort of mind that is cut out for the cognitive behavioral approach and another that can be helped only by the 12 steps.

A person’s openness to the concept of spiritual rebirth, as determined by their neural makeup, could indicate whether they’ll embrace the steps. Last September, researchers from the National Institutes of Health found that people who claimed to enjoy “an intimate relationship with God” possess bigger-than-average right middle temporal cortices. And a Swedish study from 2003 suggests that people with fewer serotonin receptors may be more open to spiritual experiences.

For the moment, though, there is no way to predict who will be transformed by AA. And often, the people who become Wilson’s most passionate disciples are those you’d least expect. “I always thought I was too smart for AA,” a bespectacled, Nordic-looking man named Gary shared at a meeting in Hell’s Kitchen this past winter. “I’m a classical musician, a math and statistics geek. I was the biggest agnostic you ever met. But I just wrecked my life with alcohol and drugs and codependent relationships.”

And now, after more than four years in the program? “I know God exists,” he says. “I’m so happy I found AA.”

Maybe one day we’ll discover that there’s a quirk in Gary’s genetic makeup that made his prefrontal cortex particularly susceptible to the 12 steps. But all that really matters now is that he’s sober.

Link!


Secret of AA: After 75 Years, We Don’t Know How It Works
Brendan I. Koerner
Wired
6.23.10
 
Pretty interesting article. A few ppl I know are trying to get me to attend meetings with them because they work so great for them, but I dont know if I even belive in god so I cant see it helping me any. Are most group meetings all basically the same in which some sort of god or whatever is what there based around?
 
I didnt make it all the way thru the whole article becuz I just aint beat for hearing the story of how it started, etc, all over again but I will force myself to. I got to the part of Bill W in the hotel and having a trip-vision of god n all that and skimmed thru the rest.

They dont know how AA works becuz it aint "AA" thats working, its the people who brainwash themselfs with the philosophies of it. And Dr Drew can suck a fucking dick, Oh, "If a person dont want to to the 12 steps they dont want to get better" FUCK YOU, You ignorant piece of pig shit. How insulting can you be to the idea of personal responsibility?

I despise the idea that you cant stay clean without NA. That you "need" meetings to keep you clean, TWENTY FUCKIN YEARS after you stopped using. That you got so little strenth of your own that every single moment of your day is still a risk filled situation that could send you flying back into the pit of addiction.

You become a slave to meetings. Replacing your addiction to drugs/alcohol with addiction to the program. People eat live and sleep the program, the amount they are obsessed with it is straight up scary to me honestly. They are like programmed robots brainwashed to all think the same shit, to believe all this shit, and its the only way that they can stay clean ,is to believe it.

If it keeps em clean, good for them. If it works for them I am happy for them and it must not be such a bad thing for THEM. But shit, all I see after the hundreds of meetings that Ive wasted my nights at, is a bunch of people whose lives are still about drugs, every second of them. Except now, they about NOT using drugs instead of using them.

You cant just be a person who got off drugs. You cant just be you. You got to be you, ADDICT. You got to be a addict who is ALWAYS at risk, FOR-EVARRRR. That after 30 years without gettin high, you are still at as much risk as u were the day you quit, of relapsing. That its like this monster hidden around every corner, that you are WEAK and you CANT fight it without the program, that you CANT do it alone, that you aint CAPABLE of stayin clean, unless you do this that and the third. You GOT to do this, you GOT to get a sponsor, you GOT to go to 90 meetings in 90 days, you GOT to work the steps, all this garbage.

Well how bout this, i been clean 9 months and I aint been to a meeting in like 5 months. I actually never even went to collect my 6 months keychain, OR my 9 months one, becuz I got so sick of the meetings that I seriously just couldnt do it no more. Just sittin there listening to these people delude themselfs over and over, repeating this same cult-like shit time after time just got to be too much for me.

I aint denying that for some people it has helped them alot. but as a person who is a independent thinker who likes to do shit myself, think shit thru myself, there is just so many gaping holes in their philosophies, so much contradiction, so much shit thats just ass-backwards, that its totally useless to me. I really cant do it. That group-think shit, the mindless agreeing, man its just scary to me. its really like a cult IMO.

Is that really the life you want to life, yea , off drugs, but terrified? Scared that every day, any day, you could just fall off and start using and end up dead? That your addiction is a living thing thats like, scheming and plotting ways to win you back? That you should drive 50 minutes out of your way to work every morning , so you dont pass a bar? That you are SO FUCKING WEAK that even driving past a street corner that you copped dope at ONCE can totally throw you off balance and send you right back to the needle like a choice-less zombie? That you NEED to go to a meeting every day, becuz THATS wats keeping you clean--not your own will, not your strentgh, not your heart as your desire to stay clean gets stronger, not your wisdom and your intelligence that helps guide you, not you, but "the program"? That you will always forever be an addict, so even 60 years after you quit you still need to go to meetings and work the steps? That you will never, ever change, never be stronger, never be "cured" or "recovered", that recovery is forever and you are just doomed to always be that way til the day you die?

I aint down with the powerlessness. I aint powerless. If i was powerless, I would not have been able to quit using when i realized that i really, truly, absolutely HAD TO or i was goin straight to state prison. if i was powerless, I never could have used around my probation schedule, gettin high on the day of my piss test and the day after ,and leavin 5 days in between to clean up so i could piss clean for my PO visit a week later. If i was powerless, I woulda just started binging out like crazy every time i got a couple bundles and not stopped using til it was gone, nevermind probation. if i was powerless, I never coulda copped those 3 bundles and just left them sittin there, hidden in my closet, for 4 days while i laid there sick as a dog, hurtin, miserable, depressed, wantin to die while I kicked, and not even touched them, not even considered touching them until after i passed my piss test.

If I was powerless, I woulda needed NA to get clean like I been. If i was powerless, i never coulda turned my life around like I did. I aint powerless, I took back my power that I had gave up, lost a hold on, and forgot that I had while i was usin. I got a choice, and when i was buried in the suffering of my addiction I couldnt exercise that choice, i coudlnt hold on tight enough to make a solid choice and stick to it, but I got it back eventually. I didnt go to rehab. I didnt go to NA. I didnt do jack-shit, except get on my Methadone, and start some long, hard thinking.

Soon enough, i lost that obsession with heroin. it took months, but it happened. It stopped bein this idea, buried in my heart , living inside of me, this passionate, destructive, insane love, wanting, craving, and just gradually turned into another idea just like anything else. It went from bein that crazy lover who you have ups and downs with, the person where its so intense that one minute you want to kill each other and the next you are furiously fucking, who you would kill for, and also want to kill. And became that boring guy/girl down the street that you really dont know much or feel nothing for, just a bland aquaintance.

Heroins grip dropped off my heart & my mind, it let go and became just another thing. Not the obssessive lust for the drug of the addict but the take it or leave it attitude of the casual recreational drug user who has fun once in a while and then gets back to 'normal' life the majority of the time. that insane, doomed love affair with dope turned into something totally lame and boring, like it was just a kind of uninteresting co-worker instead of a secret crush that burns so hot and bright inside of you that you drive yourself crazy thinking of them.

And once that crazy obsession ended, I was able to do dope , pick it up, and get a little high. Have some fun, and then forget about it for another couple months. Without none of the "oh shit, its gone? i got to get more, just one more shot, just get high for one more day" shit. Without nothing really, no feelings of disappointment when it was over and i had to go back to the daily methadone grind. It was a fun thing, and when it was done it was done. and thats all there was to it. I wasnt fantasizing, thinking about when I will be able to have it again, just living for that day when I get to boot another shot. It wasnt even really in the back of my mind.

I was too busy livin my life, a normal life, not a ex drug addict life. I dont WANT to identify myself as a fuckin ADDICT, i want to be ME. If i aint using the drug no more, if my life stopped being about this drug then why should I still make every fuckin moment be about avoiding it, which is the entire focus of the NA/AA programs? Is it really true that every single person who was ever addicted, will never, EVER be able to have a normal life again? That they are doomed to a life of NA picnics, NA barbecues ,NA sports games, NA meetings, NA community projects, NA this and fuckin that all day forever. That NA is the only "safe zone" that you can trust. That NA is the only one for you. NA will take care of you, NA will keep you safe and happy. You need NA. You cant live without NA. Trust NA and put your faith in NA and you will be ok.

It sounds alot to me like a drug addict if you replace NA with Heroin or Alcohol, etc.

If that life is wat being clean is about,.....Fuck bein clean.

But it aint GOT to be like that, becuz you aint gotta listen to their bullshit-ass lies and insane mind-warping philisophies.

But of course , according to them, that only means that you "dont really want to/aint really ready to get clean." 8( :|

I could go on forever and ever about this and I know i already been goin off for a while now, so Ima wrap it up but seriously, it aint no suprise to me that they say they aint got no idea how or even if the program works, becuz there aint nothing to it except a persons willingness to delude themself and listen to wat they are told, and their ability to totally devote their life to that. If you can do that, the program will most definately keep you clean and off drugs, but i would much rather do it in a way that actually leaves me with a life that got more to it than being obsessed with the program and not using. How are you really recovered, really free, if you cant even live nothing like a normal life and it all gotta be about not using? if every move you make gotta still be about that, then you really aint recovered at all, you just hiding from the real world and that aint no way to live, its the life of the addict just without the drugs. That aint no way to be.
 
i believe that for some people, especially those using hard-core physically addictive drugs (coke, meth, H, alcohol) that AA/NA may be the only way for them to maintain sobriety for any length of time.

I do believe it works for those people better than other programs, statisitcally speaking.

But its one-size-fits-all approach is both maddening and, in the end, intellectually confusing. I sit in a room and say "i am exactly the same as you." But I have never touched H, meth, coke or even alcohol; am i the same?

What I found frustrating around this community was

(a) people whose actual dependence is unclear, but who glom onto the community because it's a place to belong [there are people in my local NA whose period of drug use appears to have been, e.g., six months of pot smoking when they were 20, and are still in AA in their 50s--I wish I were kidding, but I'm not];

(b) the ultimate view that everything bad in one's life is a direct result of addiction, so that meetings can sometimes go almost like this: "My boss yelled at me today. And being a typical addict, I felt bad." And everyone nods, as if a non-addict (whatever that is supposed to be) would *not* have felt bad. Nope: it's normal to feel bad. Your addiction may OR may not have something to do with it.

(c) the inability to find any coherent way to distinguish between kinds of addictions and kinds of substances; they AREN'T all the same, and if they were, we would not need all the different kinds. We repeat several times in the meetings that drugs only end in "jails, institutions, and death." Yet (as I even braved to say in a few meetings)--can anyone point me at even a LOT of pothead/psychdelic users who have ended up that way? In my experience, there are a whole lot of potheads out there who will never end up in any one of those ways. In fact it's HARD to end up that way unless you live in a very anti-pot state and get caught by LEO.

(d) the concomitant failure to honestly address what drugs do for us. why did I finally stop going to meetings? I am an artist and writer. Every meeting would end with people going to the parking lot, smoking cigarettes (which I don't do, having quit decades ago--again, no way of dealing with that within NA context), and listening to music by the likes of Jimi Hendrix, The Rolling Stones, Aphex Twin, Radiohead, Grateful Dead, Beatles, and frankly every fucking band you can think of who openly used drugs while they were making music and would insist that the two things are connected. They are. Human beings need creativity. Creativity and mind alteration are connected. We can't just pretend that mind alteration doesn't exist.

I feel bad, because I wish NA and AA were more what they say they are. But I worry. The closer I actually got to those people, not only did I feel pressure to cut off vital friendships and activities because they interfered with NA "outings"; I also started to hear rumors of drug deals, lying group members, and false recoveries, enough of which made me really wonder about the claims to success the group has.

I also do not believe they remain un-infiltrated by LEO. There are quite a few people in my local community whose presence, jobs, lives make no sense, unless they have some other means of support that keeps them in NA (for, here again, very light histories of drug use).

I will carp one more time: Bill W's use of LSD, given my own exclusive use of psychedelics and avoidance of alcohol, really warped my mind. Why was I there again?

Oh, I'll add one more complaint: some NA people are really hardcore anti-psychiatric drugs, but when they encourage members to stop taking them because "all drugs are bad" (drinks from coffee cup, takes drag on cigarette) I really start to worry--you are entitled to your views, but not to interfere with another person's medical care.
 
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one of hte first posts by lacey i agree with. not from personal experience though, i aint never been to an aa meeting.
 
Pretty interesting article. A few ppl I know are trying to get me to attend meetings with them because they work so great for them, but I dont know if I even belive in god so I cant see it helping me any. Are most group meetings all basically the same in which some sort of god or whatever is what there based around?

this, honestly, is one thing not to worry about. many people in NA/AA are not religious. for most of them/us, the "higher power" we think of is something like "the other people in this room"--something bigger and outside of ourselves, but not up in the sky. I live in a pretty liberal town, but at least here, if anybody starts talking about Jesus, they are welcome to do so, but the next person will usually say, "let's remember this is a spiritual and not a religious program that is open to everyone." If you think it might help you, it's worth checking out.
 
The thing that gets to me is that it is sometimes court mandated. Yet they don't know why it (sometimes) works or exactly how successful it is.

I'm not even going to get into the finer details, since lacey already did a good job at that.
 
i believe that for some people, especially those using hard-core physically addictive drugs (coke, meth, H, alcohol) that AA/NA may be the only way for them to maintain sobriety for any length of time.

I do believe it works for those people better than other programs, statisitcally speaking.

But its one-size-fits-all approach is both maddening and, in the end, intellectually confusing. I sit in a room and say "i am exactly the same as you." But I have never touched H, meth, coke or even alcohol; am i the same?

What I found frustrating around this community was

(a) people whose actual dependence is unclear, but who glom onto the community because it's a place to belong [there are people in my local NA whose period of drug use appears to have been, e.g., six months of pot smoking when they were 20, and are still in AA in their 50s--I wish I were kidding, but I'm not];

(b) the ultimate view that everything bad in one's life is a direct result of addiction, so that meetings can sometimes go almost like this: "My boss yelled at me today. And being a typical addict, I felt bad." And everyone nods, as if a non-addict (whatever that is supposed to be) would *not* have felt bad. Nope: it's normal to feel bad. Your addiction may OR may not have something to do with it.

(c) the inability to find any coherent way to distinguish between kinds of addictions and kinds of substances; they AREN'T all the same, and if they were, we would not need all the different kinds.

(d) the concomitant failure to honestly address what drugs do for us. why did I finally stop? I am an artist and writer. Every meeting would end with people going to the parking lot, smoking cigarettes (which I don't do, having quit decades ago--again, no way of dealing with that within NA context), and listening to music by the likes of Jimi Hendrix, The Rolling Stones, Aphex Twin, Radiohead, Grateful Dead, Beatles, and frankly every fucking band you can think of who openly used drugs while they were making music and would insist that the two things are connected. They are. Human beings need creativity. Creativity and mind alteration are connected. We can't just pretend that mind alteration doesn't exist.

I feel bad, because I wish NA and AA were more what they say they are. But I worry. The closer I actually got to those people, not only did I feel pressure to cut off vital friendships and activities because they interfered with NA "outings"; I also started to hear rumors of drug deals, lying group members, and false recoveries, enough of which made me really wonder about the claims to success the group has.

I also do not believe they remain un-infiltrated by LEO. There are quite a few people in my local community whose presence, jobs, lives make no sense, unless they have some other means of support that keeps them in NA (for, here again, very light histories of drug use).

I will carp one more time: Bill W's use of LSD, given my own exclusive use of psychedelics and avoidance of alcohol, really warped my mind. Why was I there again?

Oh, I'll add one more complaint: some NA people are really hardcore anti-psychiatric drugs, but when they encourage members to stop taking them because "all drugs are bad" (drinks from coffee cup, takes drag on cigarette) I really start to worry--you are entitled to your views, but not to interfere with another person's medical care.

Hell yea, I agree 100% with you.

I dont really agree tho, that it may be the only way for a "hardcore" user to get clean. I was shooting up 25-30 bags of heroin everyday, Im 23 now and had started using when i was 16, you know? Many many people been usin for way longer and had way worse habits. But im just sayin, it was a significant amount of time to be using heroin for. And i got clean without nothin but Methadone and my determination, for once.

Dont get me wrong, i am SO against that whole "if a junkie CAN stop on their own, they WOULD. So , obviously, since they dont, it means they CANT stop, and they NEED NA or Rehab." Thats a load of shit. And i cant stand the ignorant ppl who say "Well, why dont you just stop?" And all that.

i aint one of them willpower people who is all about "just doing it." But I do believe that once you hit the right circumstances in the right combination at the right time, once you get that "click" in your head that you reallllly understand wat you gotta do, its much easier to do it. for me, it was bein 5 minutes away from a jail cell. I was at my probation office after my 2nd dirty piss test in like 3 months, and they were a minute from haulin my ass down into the county. I had 2 felony cases open that i was on concurrent probation for, and i copped out on both of them. If i violated probation, both of my cases woulda got reopened in the court , and i woulda had to go to trial facing at the very very least a 3 year state prison sentence and the possibility of much more years than that, since i had distribution charges, conspiracy charges, and multiple possession charges for heroin , paraphenelia, and marijuana.

Anyways, at that point i realized, damn. Im either gonna be in jail not using, or out here not using. I got to do this . I aint beat for prison. it aint worth it, it really aint. I can just take a break. a few months, let shit settle down, and then get high again if i want to but i just need to stop for a little bit.

and i went to the methadone clinic and upped my dose til i felt normal and here i am, you know? If i had just been able to stop when i "should" have stopped, i woulda been off the shit years ago. But, it toook enough time for me to really realize that time was up, it was seriously, REALLY game over this time. Shit, I got arrested 3 times in 7 months, I was balls to the wall. And when i stopped, it wasnt even "rock bottom" for me. It was just the situation that I finally, TRULY understood that I really did have to quit - for a while, at least .

But this aitn about me, so ima move on i just wanted to explain and make it clear that I aint the type of person who believes or thinks that its just all about a addict being lazy and too weak to quit. But i also dont believe in the disease model that says you are totally irrespnsible for your actions and that the addict aint got no control wat so ever, becuz i totally disagree with that shit too.

Anyways, one thing that always just APPALLED me about NA was how anti-ALL-Drugs they are.

Seriusly, there was this girl in there. She had some kind of horrible stomach problem that she had to get surgery for. They had to cut her open and cut some shit out of her and put some shit in her and god knows wat else, and she was talkin about this at a meeting one night...

She goes "Im scared becuz they want to give me painkillers for the surgery. I told them that I dont want them and that Ill just go thru the surgery without no pain meds or anasthesia, becuz Im a drug addict."

And Im thinking, this broad, is soooo brainwashed by this crap that she honestly believes that if a DOCTOR administers a painkiller to her during SURGERY, that it will cause her to relapse? That she is SO powerless, got No control, to the point that its TOTALLY out of her hands whether or not this happens to her? That its just gonna happen, inevitable?

And her explanation for bein so concerned about all this, was "You cant give drugs to an addict. you just CANT do it . Im an addict, and he CANT give me DRUGS!"

And instead of sayin to this girl "Hey, you know, i think its OK for you to let them give you painkillers while they cut you open in surgery. Its kind of medically necessary, so dont be afraid" They were all like "Yea girl, I know! Youre right! Well you just tell that doctor that you wont take drugs!" and so on 8(

Seriously, they encourage her to risk her health, possibly go into shock from the pain, and suffer extreme agony, and refuse the MEDICALLY NECESSARY TREATMENT, becuz shes a "addict" and you "cant give her drugs"? Its fuckin insane!!

There is people in there who been in horrible accidents, smashed up their backs, got fused vertebrae an shit like that, and they go in there talkin about how their doctor wants them on pain meds but they wont take them becuz they used to be addicted to COCAINE 20 years ago, and they dont want to relapse. So , they walk with a fuckin cane, or a walker, and live in excruciating pain all day every day, and take so much Advil that it is destroying their liver, and they brag about how they are "clean", and THATS a better life than taking PRESCRIBED drugs under MEDICAL SUPERVISION, to treat your very real, legitimate condition that REQUIRES those medications? I mean it aint like they got a broken arm and can tough it out. They would rather SIGNIFICANTLY lower their quality of life, live in pain and suffering all the time, have a , well, SHITTY life, oh but they are CLEAN though, so its all worth it? Becuz, you know, if you are so damn powerless that yuo cant trust yourself to take the pills as prescribed, its better to live in agony, than to let a trusted friend, husband, wife, etc, keep the pills in a safe place for you and only give them to you as prescribed, so that you aint got to worry about trusting yourself?

It aint "using" if a doctor prescribes you a painkiller for a medical problem that you didnt fake, that is legitimate and real and needs help. It aint "using" if you got terrible anxiety, so a psych. dr gives you low dose klonopin to take when you get panic attacks. It aint fuckin "USING" if you take a drug to treat a real medical problem. It aint gonna make you start suckin dick on the street for a bag of dope becuz you get surgery and they give you a morphine shot ONCE.

Its like they support these totally irrational, ridiculous, paranoid delusions of all these horrible , terrible things that TOTALLY WILL HAPPEN if you just let ONE tiny molecule of ANY drug get into your body, for ANY reason at all. Instead of sayin "Hey, you know, we are all reasonable people here---Dont beat yourself up over this--You have multiple sclerosis. Its okay to take the goddamn Vicodin when you really start to hurt" they say "yea! Go you! Fight those addiction demons! dont give up, you got to stay strong, and not let your guard down! That doctor whose BEGGING you to just take the fuckin prescription becuz your body is in so much pain that its making you weaker and weaker---hes just the voice of your addiction talking. thats just your bad side tryina convince you that its OK to use "just once"! but it AINT! You gotta fight the enemy! Keep up the good work and throw away that pill bottle, even though your kids are watching you waste away physically and cry every night becuz they can see how much you are hurting--But remember, RECOVERY IS YOUR NUMBER ONE PRIORITY, More than ANYTHING else, so just keep up the good fight!"

Its seriously fucking TWISTED to me. Like that shit is on the verge of psychotic the way that they encourage this totally insane thinking and convince people to deny themself from things that they legitimately need.

its one thing if you got a mild injury that you can live with the pain and you choose not to go on pain management becuz you think you might end up needing the pills more than you actually do. Thats a legit concern "Hey, im a ex oxycontin addict, and this pain really aint that bad, its just more of a ache. A lot of people experience this pain, and this aint really severe chronic pain, some doctors might not even think i need any meds at all for it, so even though this one is givin me a script for Percocet, I think I should probably just try to do without it." Thats a responsible choice, even tho I might not do the same thing since I believe everybody got a right to pain relief, and shouldnt deny themself just becuz of past sins, but I mean, NA applies that same thinking of "Just take some tylenol!" to people with SERIOUS, CHRONIC conditions that should be on MASSIVE doses of painkillers.

i cant stand to see people suffer like that, for no good fuckin reason. NA breeds so much fear into people that its like they afraid to make any move except one thats approved by NA. They dont want to choose on their own, they got to do wat the "program" dictates they should do in that situation, you know? its really, seriously just sick.

I cant even comprehend the idea that a reasonable person could possibly believe that a 80 year old grandfather who used to be addicted to heroin in his 30's, should deny himself pain meds for his arthritis and hip replacement becuz "once an addict, always an addict" and he still cant take the risk of "relapsing", becuz the tiniest little taste of any drug will set off his "fuck it" switch and he will instantly turn into a fienning junkie all over again. its just insane, ridiculous, and goddamn cruel to teach people this shit and make them believe it.
 
There is an appalling lack of mention in this article of the Saskatchewan studies done by Humphrey Osmond and Abram Hoffer in conjunction with Bill Wilson, in which they successfully treated alcoholism using a combination of AA tactics and single high doses of LSD (200-1200mcg) ... with a 50% success rate, better than any other treatment we've ever used.
 
After attending AA daily (twice on Sundays) for 6 & 1/2 months I would like to think I know everything there is to know about AA - but I don't. AA/NA literature and the people you meet are bitter-sweet. You can take what you want from the meetings & literature.. don't rule out the rest, you may need it later. As far as the "higher power" thing goes.. that's an idea that is difficult for some to grasp (including myself). I am agnostic. I truly do not believe in the God the major religions of modern day society push. Still AA/NA is a good place to socialize when you are trying to change your life. It gives people a safe place to socialize without the fear or temptation of drugs and alcohol. Granted I have been to an AA meeting that was literally on D block. Finding the right meetings is important - as they are ALL different in many ways. I personally do not think I will be returning to an AA/NA group any time soon. The route I'm taking these days is Suboxone treatment (in my case a very gradual detox).

Good luck to anyone who is trying to recover from the harsh life of addiction. The sooner you start - the faster things will get better.

"As far as you walk into the woods, you have to walk just as far to get out."

Peace.
 
I'm no expert, but it seems to me that AA works because it provides a stable group of people that the person in recovery can feel connected to and trust without any fear of judgment, combined with a rigorously structured environment. That shit works to fix just about any human problem. Or alternatively, it works in the same way organized religion does - by forcing you to live in fear and subjugation.
 
Interesting article. While I agree with some aspects of Lacey's criticisms, I don't see what's the big deal about some people using AA meeting as a social club kind of thing as long as they are supportive and understanding towards the people with more pressing issues. I also can't believe that every single AA group (or even a majority of the groups) would recommend someone to not use painkillers during surgery. I can see people being anal about regular oxy scripts and stuff, but you have to pretty stupid to not take painkiller for surgery. That's just ridiculous.

I would also argue that Lacey K's attitude towards "self-responsibility" is too simplistic and slightly arrogant. Lacey himself agreed that it is possible that he will be doing H again once "the coast is clear". So even though he is facing significant risks of ending up in jail and possibly permanently reduced career prospects, he seems to be already planning the next hit. I think it's reasonable to assume that many people don't want to lose everything and hit rock bottom before they realize that they need to quit. If AA is what it takes to keep them from getting to that point, then so be it!

Don't get me wrong, I am not particularly fond of AA and I think we could do with better methods for helping people deal with their addictions, but I am definitely not buying any of this faux "self-responsibility BS." What fucking self-responsibility are you talking about if you where doing 25-30 bags a day? I think the AA's approach to addiction is the least of your worries if you've been using for almost 7 years. If you want talk about self responsibility, you'd let people get what they need from AA (if it helps them in the first place) and let them make up their own minds about their attitudes towards addiction.

On a side note, does anyone have a link to that Swedish article on seratonin receptors.
 
LOL Maybe I should eat some jimpson weed and start a new religion. Not to say AA/NA meetings aren't useful, if you're in a new town and don't know any connections they're a great place to meet dealers.
 
Besides the part about Advil destroying someone's liver, I agree with everything Lacey says. 12-step programs are part of the machinery of government-sponsored repression (just as religions are). The whole anonymity thing is an anachronism: one is encouraged to flout their participation in 12-step by the courts, the mental health industry, etc.
 
Wilson had been quite a mess when he checked in the day before, so the attending physician, William Silkworth, subjected him to a detox regimen known as the Belladonna Cure—hourly infusions of a hallucinogenic drug made from a poisonous plant.
Apparently we need to just use psychedelics in psychotherapy.
 
Just to be clear, there is a huge difference between quitting with Methadone (or Suboxone) and quitting without. NA is designed to help people stay sober without those drugs, so comparing a person's success with Methadone to NA's success is not possible. Obviously NA will fail more often since it isn't a drug and is not stimulating receptors to prevent symptoms of withdrawal - cravings, most importantly - that NA members will experience if they fully conform to NA's standards.

When someone said "I can see how NA may be the only choice for hardcore addicts," I am sure he meant "for hardcore addicts not on Methadone/Suboxone." Obviously, having either of those will be a huge help in getting clean, an advantage NA does not have.

Also, if you're using at all, even occasionally - or quitting for a while with the intention of using down the road - then you're not clean or sober. Yes, it does take will power to get from daily use to once/twice a week use, and it's a hell of a challenge to take a break for a period of time, but from there, it's still quite a hike to total sobriety and saying that the two are anything alike is a serious misrepresentation of what sobriety means. Saying you managed to get to occasional use is not a valid argument against NA/AA since the goal with them is total, long-lasting sobriety. It's much easier to cut back than it is to quit altogether, so NA/AA does deserve some credit for at least being able to help people do that. Whether it's possible to get to that point without the program is insignificant; the fact is, not everyone will be able to do it without the program - and on the same token, not everyone will be able to do it with the program - so the fact that it's there is a god-send for those who run out of options and absolutely need it.

Now, all that being said, I'll let it be known that I hate NA and will strongly discourage participation in the program for as long as I live, or at least until they refine and clean up the program. Not because I don't think it works - it certainly does for some - but because it's dangerous and has the ability to limit/ruin someone's life as bad as any drug could. If an addict came to me for help, NA would be the very last option I would present to them. It is so obviously a cult, but oddly, a cult that doesn't really believe anything, other than "the program is essential to recovery." It's odd because, as this article points out, no one knows why the program helps, or if it truly helps enough people to be worth the effort. From my experience, NA around Detroit is basically where jaded drug users go to rip on newcomers, brag about the size of their drug penis, and tell "war stories" to see who can come up with the most outrageous story involving drug use, most of which are probably embellished or totally fraudulent. Not a word of advice is ever offered except for the occasional "you better get off that Suboxone."

All in all, NA is a dangerous concept to fool around with, and in actuality, is just a replacement addiction. They are so against Suboxone and Methadone because all it does is switch addictions, but fail to recognize that NA does the exact same thing. If you truly want to get off and stay clean - and this is where I agree with Lacey - it's going to take a lot of work done on your own. NA tries to take that away from you, which I find funny since there is no comprehensible motive behind it. There is no money to be made off keeping you coming and there is no logical reason to believe that you are destined to relapse without attending meetings till the day you die. It makes no sense.

So yeah, give NA some credit because it does help some - how many is a huge unknown - but don't believe the hype they try to sell about themselves. Try other options before resorting to NA, and if you do go that route, don't feel like you have to totally conform. Pick and choose what works and leave out the parts that have nothing to do with recovery (life-long participation, finding God, out-of-the-way routes to work to avoid bars, dumping all your old friends - although friends you used with can be trouble - and all the shit like that).

EDIT - Those interested in a logical route to recovery, find books on Rational Recovery and attend their meetings. The books are hilarious when they get in to tearing NA apart, but also offer some real sound advice on getting clean. They are against the "disease" model as well, pushing the (what I believe to be) fact that addiction stems from behavior and remains an issue with behavior. Check it out if you haven't already.
 
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I've been to NA once, and only once, and let me tell you that it is a load of bullshit. I guess the only purpose it serves is to make addicts not feel alone and have a place to go and hang out so they're not sitting at home bored and alone because they've got nothing in their lives other than drugs.

I'm not one of those people, even during being addicted I've maintained a somewhat lively social life, and I generally had the funds to still make it out to social functions and beer keg parties and not miss them due to withdrawls.

I think if there's a logical program to go to, it is SMART recovery. SMART recovery actually branched out of Rational Recovery since Rational Recovery stopped having meetings. I think it can definitely help to still be in a group setting while going through this, and not be fed bullshit. Oh yeah and smart recovery you actually get to graduate from and not have to go there anymore, and they definitely don't have religious undertones or tell you that you're an addict forever. SMART recovery actually uses psychiatric science and stuff like cognitive behavior therapy. Unfortunately I never had a chance to go, and sadly the number of SMART recovery groups pale in comparison to AA/NA groups. I'm currently clean and w/d free myself, but perhaps someday I might give smart a shot so I can keep it that way.

Look it up on the net.
 
People wanted me to go to AA when i was a real bad drunk back about 7 or 8 years ago. Needless to say i never went but if i had i doubt i would have lasted the whole meting. It reminds me of a fucking cult the way people at these meetings swallow everything thats given to them. Also i think the whole "i have no power over such and such a drug" is totally counter productive. That is admitting defeat right there pretty much.

I ended up quitting on my own and except for a few slipups and a major one there a few months back ive been mostly sober. I choose not to drink so i guess im not that powerless over the shit afterall. Either that or the fact that the mess i know i will end up in if i go back to everyday drinking is scary enough to keep me off the stuff.
 
Seep , LOL I apologize--I know that ibuprofen aint the shit that will kill your liver, its Tylenol (acetapminophen) , so excuse me for that mis saying there :)

Anyways, I really disagree that a person who uses once in a blue moon aint "clean."

Why not?

Clean is a lifestyle, its the practice of living without the obsession of the drug. I honestly believe that people who never touch a drug but yet spend every day in meetings, freaking out about how they will relapse, about how any moment it can happen, how its just around the corner, livin like scared ADDICTS, aint clean. So, maybe that sounds crazy to you, but I dont think that you can say you are clean if you live in the same mental patterns of fear and obsession that addiction has.

To me clean is a mentality and a state of mind, and if you are a healthy person, mentally healthy, emotionally healthy, and you are broke free of those bonds then how aint that clean?

Let me ask you--

Is a person who never been addicted to any drugs at all, but occasionally, maybe 3 times a year, uses Oxycontin, "clean"?

To me, clean or not applies to addicts. You never hear somebody ask someone who aint a addict but uses drugs if they are "clean."

Its a state of mind, the person who lives without that addiction brain-power workin over time.

If im off dope but i smoke weed, am i not "clean"? Of course I am. Clean means off dope. It means off the drug that made my life a living hell. It dont mean that I dont take no other drugs at all. If im on methadone, Hell yea i am fucking clean. If i aint thinking like a addict, aint living like a addict , aint stuck in those thought patterns and loops, aint miserably depressed and lost, and I take methadone, I am sure as shit clean.


Anyways, I think that some people misunderstood my post.

First of all, leviticus, I am a female.

Second, I was describing the mentality that I used to stop using. Which coincidentally is EXACTLY THE SAME AS THE NA MODEL-- "Just for today." I told myself, Hey. we gotta get clean now. But it aint gotta be forever. Just for a while. To make it bearable for myself, to make it more easy to comprehend, easier to take in at once. To take it a step at a time. Thats exactly how they tell u to do it in NA, so there aint nothing wrong with that. If you get clean by telling yourself "tomorrow you can use" but you never use "tomorrow", then you still clean if you ask me. I eventually DID end up gettin high, but it was never a SLIP, never a MISTAKE, never a RELAPSE. It was a choice that I considered carefully for weeks beforehand, planning, thinkin of it from every angle to eliminate any risks i could think of, considering if it was a good idea, if i thought there was any bad effects that i might be risking, etc, and I waited til i had it totally thought out planned out and decided before I even started to think, OK, well, I might do this now.

I actually didnt use for , 5, 6 months at all and was totally clean for that long, until I dipped in again. And i think that is absolutely just as good as not using at all ever for 9 months straight. so I used 4 times maybe, I didnt count. over the course of these last 9, almost 10 months now. I really think thats totally great and I give myself just as much credit as if i had not used at all, becuz i didnt go back into that addict life or mentality. I feel now like i did before I ever used drugs, and so I really feel like that mentality is the end goal of getting clean. Not some kind of tally on paper of how many times you used, or how many days, and the more days you got the better and cleaner you are. Na, its about getting back to being the kind of person you used to be , before drugs took over your life.

I sure as hell never started counting from the beginning after I used any of those handful of times. I wasnt AT day one no more--I DIDNT go back--I didnt fall back into addiction, I used the drug, had my fun, and then went right back on my 'program' of methadone the next day, happily with no regrests and no real desire to do it again very soon. I considered it putting my "clean" days on PAUSE, not stopping and rewinding back to the beginning.

Just for the record, I totally stopped using a month or so ago, with no intent to use again no time soon, for a good reason. I got another life to look out for now, and I aint using no fucking drugs now that thats the case. But honestly I dont see the difference between a person who has been off all drugs for 20 years and a person who uses once every 5 years . It aint no different.

The point is that you CAN recover from addiction, that the addict will still fall back into a using pattern, but a person who been able to fight thru it CAN use the drug without falling back. The addict who decides to use and then ends up on a month long binge, is gonna go back to day 1 and start counting from there again. The person who dont have that problem aint got no reason that they should or would go back to day one--they AINT where they started at, they got lots of ground behind them, they didnt "relapse" back into their old ways.

I know that my views on this , alot of ppl dont agree with. But I really feel that when you measure someone "clean" or not, its more important to consider how they are living , their mental health, and the way their mind works, than whether or not the drug goes in their body once in a while. If they are using every day but say , Oh, but i dont need the drug! Obviously that is a different situation. But i am talking about a person who may say hey lets have a little fun , why not, and dip in every few months, but is still totally seperated from that life they used to live, who has mentally progressed way past the old ways of thinking, who dont have harmful obsessive needs for the drug, etc.


You ask me, I would much rather be "clean" and living happy, healthy, without the need for drugs, without the constant fears of relapse, without identifying myself as "ADDICT!!!" without thinking i am always at risk, without my whole fuckin LIFE being about NOT DOING DRUGS (thats still about drugs. whether its doing or not doing--your life is still ALL ABOUT DRUGS) and get high every 2-3 months, than be some poor kid in the NA program, going to meetings every day, proud of how I aint used in thislong, but every waking moment is, "My friend from my old job wants to chill and see how Im doing. He smokes weed! Shit, NO! I cant go, i might relapse on HEROIN from watching my friend SMOKE WEED! He aint a REAL FRIEND!" And, I cant do this, i cant go here, Oh, I cant have anything around me be the color orange beucz it reminds me of the safety caps on needles. I cant this, I cant that. I need the meetings. i cant do it on my own. I could relapse at any moment, and ONLY NA can keep me clean!

I think thats a fucking shitty way to live ,and if thats how they think you should get 'clean' then i aint got no interest in being their definition of clean, and would rather do it my way, be happy, have a safe life, and not spend every waking moment OBSESSING ABOUT DRUGS, whether its using or not using em.

Also, leviticus, I should explain to you. I was on probation on once weekly visits. after 5 or 6 months, I got bumped down to once every 2 weeks. I still felt like that was not enough 'safe time' to use. If i was still a addict minded user, I woulda jumped at the very first chance I had to get high, but I didnt. becuz i didnt HAVE to get high. It was a nice thing that I wanted to do, butI wouldnt do it if it was making any type of risk.

The only times I allowed myself to get high was the day after my piss test, once I got bumped down to once every 3 weeks visit. When my PO would be out of the office for 4-5 days, plus a weekend, so there was no way that even on some fluke type of thing that I could get called in randomly. I waited a very long time to indulge, and it was fun but it made me realize that its really only fun when you aint using it all the time.

I refused to cop on the street, and got it from a friend who did all the dirty work , and met up with me in a totally safe n secure location. I never got high in public, and waited til i got home safe and sound to do my shot. I didnt travel with needles, etc.

sure, theres always a risk, but the point is, does that sound like the behavior of the addict. I refused to use at all until i was in a situation where I could be secure in knowing that I wouldnt have to see my PO no time soon, and that the way i got the product was safe too. When i Was on dope, I would cop that shit on the corner in the hood, in a hot-ass area of dope blocks with TNT and surveillance and all kind of cops up in that bitch, and then start making up my shot and shooting up the secon I pulled onto the highway. it was so foolish. and that was even AFTER my 3rd arrest. I was reckless, i didnt care, i just did it.

The pattern of how i used the shit totally changed the couple of times that I did used after getting clean 9 mos ago. Also, i didnt really seek it out--If i had money, and my friend happened to call and ask, and the timing was right, i would do it. I didnt go out of my way, i never scrambled to make it happen, trying to scrape up money or force the situation. I knew I didnt need it, and it was a fun thing to do if the timing was right and it all worked out, and if not, no big deal. That definatly aint the attitude of the addict. When i was addicted i would do anything to make it work. Shit, I would call my dealer when i didnt have NO money and tell him i needed to see him, to make sure he was around. Then i would start scheming, cashing in change, returning shit to the store, all kind of shit. Waiting on people who owed me money, and counting that money towards my total, when that didnt work i would just keep coming up with shit, franticly trying to force it to work out, until i got enough dough for a few bundles. And then my man would say, na, its hot out here right now. you cant come thru. And i would wait, and bleep him again a half hour later and he would say na it still aint no good. And i would call someone else, see if we can go to their guy, but that guy will only sell bricks, so i would see fi i could travel 20 miles out of the way to go see another addict friend who could get shit, that costed more per bag, but it was at least a definite, and go there instead, and then my man would call back and say the coast is clear and I would turn around and head back to go see him, and so on. All these events that was just signs telling me, hey, just give it up. it just aint working out today. I wouldnt care and would just keep pushing it, trying to force the hand of fate to make it work out the way I wanted it to, and many times that ended up gettin me in trouble.

Obviously you dont care my whole story of my addiction here, but im just pointing out the totally different behavior and mindset of the times I was using durin my addiction, and the way i went about it once i got clean and dipped in every so often. its 2 very different situations.

I aint trying to go rambling on in here, but I just wanted to explain better some of the shit behind the things i am sayin here and give yall a better understanding of why i say the shit i do, so I hope that makes it clearer for anybody who wasnt 100% on my posts. :) Thanks for reading.
 
I agree with you lacey on the fact that many people in NA are so obessed with the possibility of relapse and the fear that goes along with it that they are really no better off then the junkie who has to worry all the time about having enough opiates so he/she doesent get dopesick. It's the same fucking mentality because your still constantly thinking about drugs. It doesent really make that much of a difference in that sense wheather you are using or in NA because the result is basically the same. Constant fear of the drug and the constant worry that goes along with it.

I mean what kind of a life is always worrying about if someone smoking weed in your presence is going to make you relapse on heroin, crack or whatever? Fuck id rather be dead.
 
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