i havent posted here before, and my problem, prolly wasnt as bad as alot of yours i ahve alcoholics in my family, i stared stealing alcohol here and there from my parents when i was 14,
when iturned 19(the legal age in canada) i started drinking dailey, i was just really depressed, i was in an abusive horrible unhappy relationship, i had fuckedup my car and couldnt tell my parents, i had started college but was guilt tripped by my girlfriend not to go, cuz she was jealous thinking i was fucking around
i just drank beer, everyday, she smoked weed for her stomach problem adn to keep her emotions intact, i just kept drinking and drinking, the hangovers were bad but i couldnt sleep without it, i had lost all my friends from high school, i couldnt tell my parents i ended colelge, adn my brakes on my car were just plain fucked, i needed to drink, to forget it, to feel good,
i ever stoped carign about the taste of my beer and bough cheap shitty beer just to fuel my habbit, my girlfriend lived on the other end of town, so i had to drive half an hour, with fucked breaks to go to work, or to go home, she was a cumpulsive cheater jealous psycho,
at first we were perfect for eachother, but then she found out i had went out with black girls before her adn this put a huge strain on the relationship(this was two years before i started heavy drinking)
i was lying to everyone, my parents my work, i was always late to work cuz everytime i drove my car, the brakes were fucked, and i had to use the hand breaks, then that breaks got fucked too, and i didn't have to money to get it fixed, and i couldnt tell my parents, to much anxiety, i had fucked up and i can't admit what ive done, eventually i stoped gettng shifts at work and i was told to see the manager, but i was to anxious and i just stoped going, i was a leach now, falling into my own traps of stupidity, so depressed, i thoguht of suidcide even though i would never do it,
that summer, my parents left town for a month so i had the palce to myself, with money to spend on food, which i spent on alcohol isntead,
one day she found out that i was using msn to talk to females ( i wasnt aloudto look at talk to , think about listen to, tallk about or anything females, except insult them) and she bitched on and on cuz i was talking to them (even though she had cheated on me 7 times before, once with two different guys in the same nght, adn almost left me for a blackg uy,
it was the last straw, she would always talk about guys over adn over again, yet i wasn't even aloud to associate with the oposite sex, then there was this one guy at work,
and one night she waslike im gonna go see my friend sara, and then later she told me that she had lied and she was about to go chill with this guy, and i said ok id trust her, id give her a chance . so she did
then she chillde with him agian, went to see bruno with him, even though she refused to watch it with me because i am "a huge slut and apervert, adn a pig, and a nigger lover"
she always would try and look through my text, so as a joke i did it to her,adn then i read something about him talking about her lips
we fought cried blaah blah blah, she begun at an mental health hospital in an anxiety program,
oh yeah and this is when she found out i had been talking to girls online, her brother told her,
so she freaked out said it was over (althoguht this was just her tackit, she always did this to manipulate me, ) so finally i just stop answering her calls and my birthday comes up and refuse to spend it with her, she had ruined my brithday before, so on my birthday when ive been drinking she collects all my shit adn tells me shes gonna throw it out, if i dont drive there now, but my brakes are fucked and idont want to , i buss down the next day pick it up we half chill, theres sitll more stuff to pick up, now i stop talkign to her completely, and she desperately trys to contact her,
and her fmaily shit gets me fucked and shit, and i jsut refuse, i want my freedom back i want my quasi hapiness back, so i enrol on an online course to upgrade my high school credits, to get into university for pharmacology or a related subject(im interested in drugs) thens he texts me telling me something fucked up happend, then her mom and brothers girl friend text me telling me she got raped, and that she needs to see me, but i had made a promise to myself never to go back, i ahd her email passowrd i sorta looked at her emails, and read the statement her mom sent to the police, about them all being at a club and she got intoa car with some random guy to have a smoke, and then he drove off then they found her bruised, and sure i felt bad, and she blamed it on me cuz i wasnt there, last thing i heard she went to a rehab center /youth help place, eventually she gave up on contacting me, i cut down on drinking more and more, using cannabis (a much safer plant with less consequences) i sitll drink, but not to get drunk, just because i love the taste of craft beers,
i finally have a job again, and have restructured my social life, things are looking up now,