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Alcoholism Thread v. A sober life is a good life <3

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Ok, starting my sobriety again, today. Glad there's such a good thread of people going to support each other and stuff. Last night I got bombed and came within inches of losing my jobs, and also left a rather incoherent and ridiculous thread on bluelight (see "giving up" thread if curious).

Good luck to everyone out there staying sober, or trying to get sober. After years of dealing with this, I gotta say, alcoholism is a terrible, terrible disease.
 
^^ Hey man, does that mean you didn't lose your job??? That is such a relief to hear!!
Much love and strength for sobriety OBC <3
 
Day 31 - I have drank a total of 11 beers on different days now. I have not once been drunk and feel proud. I am trying for abstinince with the occasional slip. I now only want to drink foreign beer on slight occasions. Benzos are making it easier but I worry about it slipping into a habit. Anyways drinks are going well, and family support is 50/50 and the rehab talk is gone. I knew I could do it on my own (so far so good). Wish everyone luck and support it gets better

binghampton
 
hello everyone, its been while... im glad to hear stories of personal success and see new people sharing their stories. i can't say that ive been sober, but i haven't been wildly out of control either. i can now maintain more substantial and regular breaks between drinking times (i hesitate to admit to them as binges, because i don't want to stigmatize myself).

i still need support, and a place to check my head, which is why i love BL, and why im here tonight. the last week has been one of the hardest. my grandma is in the hospital, and fading fast. and one of my best friends just lost a child at birth. im sunk. feeling lethargic and yet feeling guilty about moping. but im not getting wasted nightly, so we take what we can get right??

RL i wish you the best luck! =:) and Umbo... hang around and keep posting. it seems like you have found some real inspiration, so keep at it.

love to all, thanks for always being here <3
 
^^ Good to see you in here again monchi <3
I'm so sorry to hear about the stuff that's been happening in your life at the moment. It's not fair when things seem to all go wrong at once. I don't blame you for giving in to your cravings considering the stress you're under. If you're managing to keep it under control that is really admirable hun. I also hope your grandma and your friend are doing okay <3
 
Ughh, got some really depressing personal news yesterday. Had two extra drinks and I am feeling slightly anxious this morning.
 
Sorry to hear about that man. At least it's just two drinks though and not 12 or something.

I also fucked up last night, after less than a day of trying to be sober. I got super drunk and made a big ass out of myself at a bar trying to spit game at the bartender.
 
Sorry to hear that phactor :(
If you want to talk about this news that you received please feel free to PM me <3
 
I don't know why but yesterday when I woke up, I was craving alcohol. This is probably because I hadn't drunk since Sunday. So any how, me not being employed and all atm and still depressed decided to make a field day of the situation. So I bought some bourbon and cokes in the morning and went to a nice lake in my area and began the process whilst listening to some tunes and playing my psp. When the psp carked it I began writing and then went to get some more booze.....

Once that was gone, I decided that I wanted to go and gamble and so I went to a club I hadn't been to in months. Prior to me gambling last night, I hadn't gambled in months as it was a long term problem of mine. Any how I saw some old self destructive friends from the past. They hadn't changed and are now part of the furniture at that club which was the case years ago, still gambling, still drinking daily, still in denial about being depressed, it is sad to say the least :( Having come to accept my depression last year I passed them on the information of what is wrong with them, I know I am not in a position to do this but I guess I still care for them in some way or another even though I want nothing to do with them.

Any how more drinks were flowing and then I bumped into another old face and then in a drunken state, I gambled on my ol favourite machine - The Roulette machine, my old sequences which I knew hadn't changed and it had won me $500. A lot of things from the past raced through my mind and I could see alcohol was responsible for all the bad in my life. It's toxicity played a game of tug of war with the good neurons in my brain...

From yesterdays experience I learnt a bit more about why I drink. With me having been depressed nearly my whole life every day without the drop is some form of neutral stance just below what I should be feeling. This is when I eat healthy, exercise etc... And then I drink just to feel that bit better again to make me forget that I am depressed :(

Sorry for the lengthy post but I guess what I am trying to say is, sometimes it's not you who is responsible for your bad actions but it's rather because the influence of alcohol has made you turn another way ?
 
Day 5 of no beer for me. Stopped on sunday, now it is friday. Still a little sweaty in the palms of my hands/feet but I live in a hot climate.

@noonoo at least you came up 500 bucks! you in Vegas or something?
 
noonoo said:
I don't know why but yesterday when I woke up, I was craving alcohol. This is probably because I hadn't drunk since Sunday. So any how, me not being employed and all atm and still depressed decided to make a field day of the situation. So I bought some bourbon and cokes in the morning and went to a nice lake in my area and began the process whilst listening to some tunes and playing my psp. When the psp carked it I began writing and then went to get some more booze.....

Once that was gone, I decided that I wanted to go and gamble and so I went to a club I hadn't been to in months. Prior to me gambling last night, I hadn't gambled in months as it was a long term problem of mine. Any how I saw some old self destructive friends from the past. They hadn't changed and are now part of the furniture at that club which was the case years ago, still gambling, still drinking daily, still in denial about being depressed, it is sad to say the least :( Having come to accept my depression last year I passed them on the information of what is wrong with them, I know I am not in a position to do this but I guess I still care for them in some way or another even though I want nothing to do with them.

Any how more drinks were flowing and then I bumped into another old face and then in a drunken state, I gambled on my ol favourite machine - The Roulette machine, my old sequences which I knew hadn't changed and it had won me $500. A lot of things from the past raced through my mind and I could see alcohol was responsible for all the bad in my life. It's toxicity played a game of tug of war with the good neurons in my brain...

From yesterdays experience I learnt a bit more about why I drink. With me having been depressed nearly my whole life every day without the drop is some form of neutral stance just below what I should be feeling. This is when I eat healthy, exercise etc... And then I drink just to feel that bit better again to make me forget that I am depressed :(

Sorry for the lengthy post but I guess what I am trying to say is, sometimes it's not you who is responsible for your bad actions but it's rather because the influence of alcohol has made you turn another way ?
Click to expand...


I get what you are saying. You just need to find that extra spark of enthusiasm from life from what you do not drink. Like when it turns around to evening I will sometimes think to myself, 'wow, what a great night to not be drinking, how clear headed i feel, how little i have to do to maintain this', and these thoughts activate the same 'happiness neurons' that alcohol would normally fill. At least that is what i do.


Oh and on roulette, do not get me started. Let's just say that i have played maybe five or six times and won a total of 4500 dollars, and i have lost 1000 dollars out of that, so i am 3500 up. Never going back to that though, well, never i guess say never.
 
n3ophy7e said:
Sorry to hear that phactor :(
If you want to talk about this news that you received please feel free to PM me <3
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Thanks for the offer, I appreciate it. I was able to process it and am looking at it much more positive.


Went to the doctor today and am going to start taking some new meds (an SSRI). I'm planning on moving to Chicago in a month or two and need to get things settled. Once that is taken care of I think I can start to get off the meds. I really need to pull my shit together and get this move taken care of. Things are just not working out in my small city, the jobs are leaving and so are the people :(
 
Good luck Phactor, that's good you seem to be doin alright though.

I'm on day 3 and I'm STRUGGLING with this sobriety thing. My ex-gf called me a few times today and I didn't pick up because I knew that would end up with me going to a liquor store. Turned off my phone and drove out of town to a friends house in the middle of nowhere, just chilled by his pool and tried not to think about alcohol. Struggled though. Tomorrow might be tough, I literally have 0 friends of acquaintances that will not be out drinking.

Hope everyone on here is doing well, take it easy brothers and sisters.
 
man i hurt for evey one trying in here...

it has been over a year and a half for me, and if any of you had gotten drunk with me, you would of fallen over laughing if i said i was going to stop, for really reals this time.

there is some point grigio in my fridge and an open bottle of shiraz on my counter, but I know ill feel gross if i had any, and the only way to stop feeling so nasty is to drink more! alcohol alcohol and cocaine are pretty much the same thin; for me. i have zero interest except for more. it is so powerful in the wo,,rst ways, but portrayed as dreamy relaxinns and sexual.

the tv show Cops shows the more common side of booze. it isn't worth it.
 
Going to try again on Monday. Have drunk daily, albeit in not huge amounts for 7-8 years. I`m reasonably convinced that a lot of the anxiety/stress I`m feeling is related to my alchol use.

Strange but while I have been worried for some time, have not really made a serious attempt during all those years. My consumption is relatively low, maybe 3-4 beers a night with more on the weekend. Unfortunately, this has been a daily thing for some time.

I was quite fearful of wd`s but I went 6 days last week and apart from being anxious and tense it was ok.

Maybe I`ll feedback ;)

peace
 
thetimp, you should be fine. its a week for me now (well I had 1 beer yesterday during the world cup which i wouldnt count) and I have it under control now.
 
panic in paradise said:
the tv show Cops shows the more common side of booze. it isn't worth it.
Click to expand...

Seriously. DUIs, assault, and breach of peace calls. I would say "binge drinking" instead of just "booze" though - someone who is able to have a couple of beers/wine with dinner probably won't run into them.

I am skipping a huge organic beer festival today 3 subway stops from me because I just don't feel like drinking. This is not something I'd otherwise have EVER missed on a sunny day, especially since I have a couple free passes. :|

Midweek I had a bunch of beer one night and a lot of sun/gardening the day after. I've *had* to be good since then as I still feel completely and utterly shithouse. Drinking... SoBe fruity water right now. The sun kind of didn't shine for several months and now it won't stop. :| I've got fair hair, very light eyes and skin, sunscreen worked for not burning but couldn't fix the dehydration!
 
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