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Alcoholism Thread v. A sober life is a good life <3

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I know what you mean. I used to say that I was able to drink so much because I had an iron soul, you just couldn't knock it down. But really, most people do just pass out after one too many drinks, then there is the 3% of us who seem to lack that mechanism in our bodies.

Anyway, sorry to hear about your circumstance. If it does you any consolation I can name a hangover after you. So far I have these,

The Berliner - just a generally unbearably bad hangover (long story)
The Mel Gibson - a bad hangover accompanied by psychological trauma from acting stupid while drunk
The Taxi Driver - a hangover in which you black out and even let a taxi driver into your apartment

Best Wishes, Batman.

Thank you for the kind wishes Batman. I like to think i won't have another "Taxi Driver" any time soon :)

I'd be interested to know where the Berliner came from...

Day 4 of June, and remaining alcohol free. It's Friday night tonight and it's been the hardest. I had to go to the supermarket and walk PAST the bottle shop. It felt surreal and was actually quite hard but instead i bought lots of chocolate to try and compensate.

I'm drinking lots of (fruit) juice and plan to finish reading 'How the mind works' by Steven Pinker by the end of the month. I've wanted to read it for such a long time but i'm always too drunk. It's a good motivation to stay sober. I have a small amount of valium which got me through the first day jitters but for the most part i'm doing okay! Much better than i thought i would be.

Every day so far my housemate's been giving me a pat on the back for not drinking. Even though he doesn't really drink he's decided to do this sober June thing with me and it's great to have the constant moral support. He probably doesn't know how much it helps.
 
My 2nd day off booze.

Starting to feel better in myself, more able to fit in, hold better conversations etc.

Hope this is the last time.
I've been here all too many times before.
 
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Thank you for the kind wishes Batman. I like to think i won't have another "Taxi Driver" any time soon :)

I'd be interested to know where the Berliner came from...

Day 4 of June, and remaining alcohol free. It's Friday night tonight and it's been the hardest. I had to go to the supermarket and walk PAST the bottle shop. It felt surreal and was actually quite hard but instead i bought lots of chocolate to try and compensate.

I'm drinking lots of (fruit) juice and plan to finish reading 'How the mind works' by Steven Pinker by the end of the month. I've wanted to read it for such a long time but i'm always too drunk. It's a good motivation to stay sober. I have a small amount of valium which got me through the first day jitters but for the most part i'm doing okay! Much better than i thought i would be.

Every day so far my housemate's been giving me a pat on the back for not drinking. Even though he doesn't really drink he's decided to do this sober June thing with me and it's great to have the constant moral support. He probably doesn't know how much it helps.

Honey I am so proud of you. I have imagined myself going through the exact same events that you have the last couple of days so many times, e.g. walking past the bottle shop and NOT going in. But I'm still not up to the part where I can't walk in...
You're an inspiration to me <3


I had the shakes today, the absolute worst I've ever had them. I planned to stay sober today, but my body had other plans. I needed a whole bottle of red wine to even feel close to "normal" again. I'm going to try and sleep now but I don't like my chances at all....
 
Well better safe then to be too bad off to call for help.

Get a stout red, and pour out a 1/3 of it, then let it be...

Soon enough you will grin with a sense of freedom and power.

Do you really want to let that stuff to control your daily life, future, and bodily functions ?!?
Shoot, I'm on my way to court because of it, and its been... near 1.5 years since I have drink, and there's a wheat ale in my fridge, the thought of drinking it grosses me out.
 
Well after relapsing 2 - 3 months ago I have learnt a great deal about myself and how I now operate. I had a bad incident last year probably as a result of drinking now when I think about it, as it did lead to me being more depressed. Any how after this particular instance I gave up the booze and within a 5 month period I would of drank only 3 - 4 times, it also got me to move away from bad environments and train harder then before. But problems start arising, I had next to no friends and well the depression was still there, so after going to a bux party one night and hitting the booze I began to enjoy the feeling of escape again. However due to its absence and then starting again, I began to acknowledge a lot more about myself and seemed to have found answers which I was looking for. My drinking has now been cut down to once or twice a week and I will be quitting forever hopefully within the the next few days. This is more due to it affecting my working abilities, for instance I find when I don't drink doing my masters degree isn't so hard but when I do everything becomes mission impossible and I become helpless and then have to work with depression and anxiety on my shoulders.

All in all if we know the booze and other things are bad for us, we should just end it and get on with a healthier life. I know for a fact though that if breweries shut etc these businessmen etc would be able to create openings within the health sector etc and we would all end up getting addicted to that instead but it's the time that this would take which just makes the government thinks it's simply not worth it.
 
Sober day 13: The day begins and I have no problems getting up for work or around 8. I am still having trouble sleeping without even a baby benzo like rhovane. Maybe I just have sleep issues.

I feel great mentally and feel great to be working and getting out in the sun. I have had a couple challenges so far but nothing unmanageable.

The worst so far was my first day back at work. A new guy entered the warehouse and the boss asked for me to get a round of beers (we sometimes have a few beers after a hot day of work at the shop). I always indulge but this time I brought beers back for everyone but myself. The boss said "your not having one ****". I said no and the new guy said "this kid is a boy he doesn't drink". I have what some people refer to as a baby face but I am 22. Anyways fuck did this ever make we want to pound drinks and show this new guy what the fuck is good. I could crush him drink for drink and for some reason it really set me off. Who is he to come into the shop and challenge my drinking ability. I now drinking ability isn't something to be proud of but I still felt testy.
Instead I just picked up a paint brush and went back to my job. I was proud of myself and now I am on day 13. It is possible though everyday I keep telling myself I am better and one drink won't hurt. I know it will, wish me luck.
 
im at almost 36 hours sober and my body is thanking me. I am still having wd symptoms but I am gonna soldier on thru this.

@burn_out. thats how I became an alcoholic for 5 years in the first place, replacing benzo addiction with alcohol and now im about to go back to benzos. you will feel a bit out of it for a few weeks then one day, all the "color" will return to your life.

Like my dad used to say "Just walk it off son"

a few weeks? i'm at 10 months now...
 
@ burn_out, if you are talking about benzo addiction, it took me a good year to get back to feeling normal. for alcohol (i am still drinking, i relapsed i can only quit for 48 hours at the most) but when I quit alcohol for a year once, it took me a month to get back to normal
 
Hey just hit my 2 weeks without alcohol. I feel great I am saving money but the urges are very strong and I am starting to loose motivation. I am starting to convince myself that if I have just one beer/drink I won't fall off the wagon hard. Anyways was just updating saying there is hope but its tough. I feel like if I am out to dinner/ with a girl on a date that one or two drinks is acceptable ( I don't go out on either an outrageous amount). Thoughts??

I did get high on chlonazepam and sleep meds one night though both are prescribed to me.
 
Gosh man, that is a really tricky call to make. YOU are the only one who can make the decision to try and have a couple of drinks and leave it at that. It has been 2 weeks, and that is awesome!! You should be very proud of that achievement. But at the same time, it's only been 2 weeks, and the addicition aspects of drinking could very well still be there. Meaning that yes you could possibly fall off the wagon if you have anything to drink.

Just be really careful, and if you do decide to have a couple of drinks at dinner or in a social setting, just be really super-aware of keeping it under control. Have a plan, e.g. that you will drive home afterwards (forcing you to keep to your 2-drink limit) and go straight to bed, and make sure you don't have or buy any drinks to have when you get home.
 
percs and alcohol. makes for a perfect day really. and a perfect liver. i took 11 percs not sure on the type. i think the lvier can rejuvenate right? drinkin on the percd wont make it much worse i think

Isn't it 4-5Gs of paracetamol the liver maximum by healthcare. Some claimt aken even 100 30mg/codeine/500mg paracetamol tabs. No-on believes in such a shit.

But, IMO, what if liver instead of damaging starts to rising paracetamol breakdown time because getting used to burn it. And some polyaddict could have totally modified insides and organ system, not just nerves.
 
Gosh man, that is a really tricky call to make. YOU are the only one who can make the decision to try and have a couple of drinks and leave it at that. It has been 2 weeks, and that is awesome!! You should be very proud of that achievement. But at the same time, it's only been 2 weeks, and the addicition aspects of drinking could very well still be there. Meaning that yes you could possibly fall off the wagon if you have anything to drink.

Just be really careful, and if you do decide to have a couple of drinks at dinner or in a social setting, just be really super-aware of keeping it under control. Have a plan, e.g. that you will drive home afterwards (forcing you to keep to your 2-drink limit) and go straight to bed, and make sure you don't have or buy any drinks to have when you get home.

Definityle good idea and plan. If not used to alc, person can get very nice drunk even from 2-3 glasses of wine. But if regular user or worse, nothing is enough, not even 18 beers. Maybe after a liter of vodka starts to get satisfied.
 
When I drink I am not satisfied until I am too drunk for anything except crashing into my bed.

Right way, man. I personally love 32% booze with cola, and listen music or when it's summer hang around in public parks to talk with people. IMO it's wise to pass out before get totally nuts and every body knows what kind of humoristic situations it can cause, or something nasty bad mess when totallly fucked up.
 
I think I have a big issue with alcohol. I drink every day. Probably 6-10 beers a day during the week and 2 cases of beer on the weekends. I'll wake up Saturday and have a beer at 8-9am (some times I justify it because I'm watching English football) then it just goes on until Sunday night. I just can't stop. I'll get drunk at 9am come home and pass out. Then I'll wake up and grab another beer even though I feel like crap! My GF that I live with is at her wits end. She says she is watching me kill myself. I get "rules" like no drinking during the week or on sunday. BUT I always find ways around it. I sent her out to get her nails done today so I could have 4-5 beers.

I also work at a brewery where we get 3 free cases a month, but I've of course worked out a deal with a friend to get that extra case. I still run out in 2 weeks. It's a bad environment for someone with an issue like me to be in. But everyone there is the same way to a degree. I also hang out with them out side of work, where drinking is just what we do.

I also have had a script for xanax 1mg for ever basically. I turn 27 Wed and I started taking antidepresents and anxiety drugs at 18. (crazy step mom got me on them) Now I just alternate between getting too drunk all the time and benzo withdraw. I motor through my script in 2 weeks and then have to wait 2 more to get more. I saw this forum on another board and I just don't know what to do. I'm tired of hurting and feeling like shit all the time, I'm tired of hurting my friends and family. I guess I'm at my whits end.

Sorry for a first post rant, but I don't know what to do. I'm scared. They say the shackles of addiction aren't noticed until they are too hard to break.
 
Hi tcb, welcome to Bluelight, and to The Dark Side <3

You said it mate, you're at your wits end and you're tired of feeling this way, and your girlfriend (i.e. loved ones) is noticing the negative effects of your drinking. You need help. I think the first step is for you to see your doctor and tell them what's going on. The benzos are something you will probably need help with too but you cannot cease both addictions at once, for medical reasons. I think the alcohol is the first thing that needs to be dealt with, and you will need close medical attention to deal with this process. So please see your doctor and tell them what's going on. Start from there.

I know it's scary, I'm currently coming to terms with a serious alcohol addiction myself so I really do understand the confusing and confronting emotions you're having to deal with right now. But us humans are capable of amazing things. I KNOW you can overcome this problem if you a) want to, and b) try.

Does any of your family know about your drinking?? If not, I would highly recommend telling your parents and/or someone you trust. You'll need support during this tough period. I just recently told my parents about the extent of my drinking problem and it shocked them massively but it was the right thing to do because they are now fully aware and morally supporting me all the way <3

I sincerely wish you all the best. If you ever need to talk one-on-one please feel free to PM me. Best of luck mate <3
 
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Going to be going to the doctor soon to talk about getting on anti-depressants. I drink to treat depression. I have gotten to the point where I realize that I need something to help stabilize my chemicals.

Getting so sick of being a maintenance drinker, and honestly I have been cycling so much the past few months with the amounts I drink.

I've been on Wellbutrin before, but I want to see what the doctor suggests.
 
Firstmoment: It makes me happy to read that you have made use of twelve-step programs. Personally, they never helped me with much as a distraction from substances was always more useful than constant reminders, but alcohol and benzodiazapines are different when one gets to the point of the heavy heart.

I'm currently tapering down and hoping to jump off by week's end. While my love interest being distant is in ways making such a transition difficult the isolation that comes from said situation with meh lady and convenient unemployment for two weeks is reinforcing a desire to actually stick with my intentions. In the past seven years I have detoxed twice before with lasting results, but with available opiate and benzodiazapine on both occasions.

I'm finding that the physiological effects are worse this time around. Certainly having a regiment of buprenorphine rather than heroin is less effective at analgesic relief, but I'm thinking the problem might be related to the fact that now I'm coming off of the drink from Four Loco, and other high alcohol content (~12% apv) energy drinks, rather than 5.5% beer in higher volume.

These sorts of drinks are still relatively new, but to the drunk they feel significantly more poisonous to the body. Does anyone else have similar experience when drinking these sorts of beverages regularly? Honestly, two four locos hurt more the next day/morning/night than a full fifth of tequila used to be able to when it didn't linger in the system for over a day?

Anyway, the mental effects seem easier. Having a true love is both an incredibly positive and negative factor. Positive in inspiring motivation to go through with this cessation, and incredibly negative in it's combination with the anxiety and paranoia that comes with the taper/stopping.

Hope some of you are doing well today.


~Monk
 
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