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Ego Death. Who Has Experienced It And On What Drug?

- ketamine -


ayahuasca and 5-meo-dmt but too overwhelmed by the experience to appreciate the ego death

smoked dmt to a slightly lesser extent

salvia... a weird kind but can be called ego death i think
 
Morning Glory Seeds first trip ever and I a realization that I was everything and nothing, did not think they would be so powerful.

2ce completely blew everything I knew about myself away
also on a psilocetin/dmt combo I merged with everything in complete bliss only for a moment though.
 
A few times on Ketamine, but its so completely different to the ego loss on psychedelics, which I've experienced twice, once on 2 hits of acid the day after dxm... it was the most amazing experience, when I was reminded of my name and that I had taken drugs the realisation that I'd actually been completely unaware of everything I knew. The second time was on 2c-e on a nitrous balloon the day after I'd taken ketamine.
I'd love to reach ego death on a psychedelic alone...
 
Don't really like calling salvia ego death. Well... yes your ego leaps out the window for a while; and by all standards I would even define it as ego death, but the core of it isn't at all what I would want to associate ego death with. Man, just reading that makes me feel nutty.

One of my favorite experiences was 2 hits of cid and a few bowls of nndmt layered with ganj. I was sitting on a rock perch in the woods. The energy in my body ceased to be 'my own' and just flowed and connected with everything around me, and everything presented/ manifested itself in absolute perfection. Waking lucidity, utmost simplicity yet ineffably elaborate. At one point later that day I was coming down, and my ego clenched up really tight than just dispersed, and I passed out for a few seconds. (Luckily?) no one saw me, but AH... simply wonderful

I think there's lots of branches of ego death you can explore. You can go dissociative, you can go lucid, I personally count the sensation that you are one with all the people around you as a form of ego death too (crowds of people becoming one pulse? Sheer ecstasy). But yes, different strokes for different folks. I'd personally define it when my resonance ceases to differentiate itself and synchronizes with the resonance around me. All one perfectly joined wavelength. The substance only plays one role in the experience.
 
My first acid trip, two tabs. I figured smoking some good weed would help me fall asleep, not separate from my being.
 
5-meo-dmt,dmt,AMT

The DMT were the most pronounced, and AMT was by far the longest 'death'
 
on a 1/4 of mushies... horrible ego-death but I came out such a better, more confident person... i'd totally go back and do it the same way :)
 
Everyone mentioning Salvia seem to have been scared by it compared to other substances. Is it the complete takeover and loss of your own control?

Salvia was the closest I have ever come to this and as soon as I had a slight realisation of me again I came running back as fast as I could. When I think back to past experiences, for someone who's so unfond of the real world I seem to have clung onto it pretty hard and "wasted" a large percentage of trips.
 
Is it the complete takeover and loss of your own control?
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"and he thought 'torture me as much as you want, you'll never be able to control my thoughts'. and then he met salvia"
 
I've experienced it a few times on LSD, ketamine, mushrooms, DMT, and 2C-E.

The most hardcore time was when I ate a ten strip of LSD and entered the trip void...holy shit, gives me goose bumps just thinking about it.
 
DMT - Just about every time, you lose sense of self and really all conscious awareness of your body but the mind is still remarkably intact. You are capable of coherent thought and generally thinking.... I have never really tried to recall my name but its like trying to name something that isn't there as far as your concerned.

Salvia- Its not nearly as pleasant, i was hurled into the abyss for some time....

LSD - Has to be high dose to do it in itself though.

Oddly enough JWH-018 - If you go past the point where its just kind of enough to get stoned it really does have powerful dissociativeness to it... You don't have to fall into it, but if you let go it can happen. We call it a j-hole...

most people smoke 2-5mg, if you get up into the 7-10mg range it happens.

lot of nausea as you get into the upper spectrum of it though.....
 
DoorsofPerception said:
The most hardcore time was when I ate a ten strip of LSD and entered the trip void...holy shit, gives me goose bumps just thinking about it.
Click to expand...

I entered the void on 8 hits of the pink elephants. Which amazed me because I had taken so many ten strips from the same page. I have never before or since been able to ever get to a level like that.

One of the gnar nights of my life.
 
I seem to experience ego death more then most people, perhaps due to underlying mental conditions that I have and have had (dissassociative disorder, depression and anxiety are the primary three). I've gotten it from every DMT breakthrough I've had, as well as from mescaline once or twice and salvia once or twice. The most important ego death I've ever felt was when I smoked DMT for the first time while on mescaline, acid, 5-MeO-AMT, amphetamine (mildly overdosing due to the combo with 5-MeO-AMT and because my use was reckless and stupid), pot, klonapin and amanita mushrooms (low dose on both of the last ones). The hit of DMT sent me into a realm of unexplainable beingless truth where everything was everything (total ego death). It was probably facilitated by the fact that I had not eaten for 2 days, I had spent the entire day before this trip eating amanitas and benzos and the day before that I had overdosed on amphetamine and 5-MeO-AMT while tripping on acid (I also experienced ego death that day, in a specific moment I'll never forget, it being perhaps the second most beautiful thing I've ever seen). Note- the above thing is stupid and I regret going on such a binge, it destroyed my mind completly for many months and I could have gotten just as high without hurting myself so much.
 
first trip ever on mushrooms got me to that point...havent been able to achieve the same state through mushrooms again, but am able to on LSD just about everytime i take a high dose.
 
Always on my dxm trips. I haven't had a recent dxm trip without it.
 
Salvia extract, DMT. First comes the fear, then just let go and don't fight it. These death/rebirth experiences are very amazing. I always do these sessions in total darkness.
 
SpiralOut said:
It's a bit embarrassing to say so, but my most profound trip so far was when I was first making forays into using drugs. Two massive bottles of Robitussin.

I was feeling terribly sick wanting to throw up, but I knew that doing so always ruined my trip and kept me from reaching the 4th plateau. So, I forced myself to ignore it and I ended up falling asleep. When I awoke, my entire body was buzzing and I felt myself being lifted out of it and having an out of body experience. I remember floating up towards the ceiling and then the room disappeared and I was surrounded by stars. I felt like I was floating on the outer atmosphere of the Earth while gazing deep into space. At that point I completely lost everything about who I was and I felt opened up to the universe.

I just remember everything being washed away and my entire essence being opened up to this cosmic vastness that filled me with wonder, hope, and euphoria at the knowledge that everything was working according to a great design and that it was absolutely perfect.

Pyramedic is right though. It's hard to explain the unexplainable. When you completely lose your ego and are opened up to literally everything, it's just something words don't do justice.
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DXM was the first drug to have me lose my ego also. I think I hit plateau sigma, but can't be for sure. I drank around 500 mg, then proceeded a few hours later to take another 700 or so. (I can't remember the mgs per bottle/gels) Oh man, at the time since I was new to everything it was so intense. It's hard to recall exactly what happened because it was so long ago, but I was completely dissociated. My friends said I just laid around the house for the most part. I remember traveling through the universe, not even knowing if *i* exist, there was no concept of *i*. Just experience, at least for the first part.

I blacked out for most of the experience though, or seems like that now. Had OOB's, traveled to 100's of different places, most defied logic, not that logic was even present. I can vaguely remember coming back to reality. My body felt so alien, it felt like I had been put in this body a couple years prior, and that this wasn't my actual body. (If i even had a body?) I remember the afterglow from that experience was insane, it was one of the last times I did dex, moved onto better shit...like acid. I don't know if you would consider this ego death with dxm, but at the time I did, not sure if I do now.

Later that year I found acid for the first time. The first batches were okay, but the ones coming in later on were amazing white tabs. New years was coming up, and I wanted to start a tradition of tripping either into the new year, or on the first day of the new year. This was really good acid (I found that out later!) , and I had decided I was going to eat 6 hit. My psychonaught buddy was coming home from a trip and we decided to drop before we left for the airport. My friend who didnt do drugs was driving, then my other friend had dropped 2 hits. I dropped 2 to start off the day before we left. I was going to be in the car for a majority of this trip.

Once we finally arrived at the airport, I had another 4 tabs in my pocket for me, and another 4 for my buddy. As we are trying to park, I say fuck it, I'm gonna eat my other 4, since I was still coming up. I expected it to be the weaker acid that had been going around...but it wasn't. I dropped the 4 tabs and only felt the tension caused by the come up. Within 10 minutes I was standing on top of a parking structure waiting for his flight to come in. Uh oh...those 2 are kicking in...hardcore....and i just ate another 4?!?!?! The entire sky opened, and it was insane to see all these airplanes flying in and out, make ripples in space.

This was only my 3rd or 4th time trippin on cid, and I had no idea what to expect from high dose, my whole world was shattered. My friend gets off his flight and as soon as i get in the car I hand him 3 tabs, and after that I was pretty much useless. These people who were with me in the car, I had known them for a couple of years and they were my best friend, I had no idea where they were from, or who they were. I had no clue who I was. As we are driving down the coastal highway through Venice, the experience keeps on getting more and more intense. I'm seeing whole buildings morph into the sky, and before I know it, i'm not even in the car anymore. I was drawn towards the most intense white light I've ever witnessed. I have no idea how long I stayed there for, but all I know is everything felt "right" and at peace. Almost how I would imagine heaven to feel if I was religious. I honestly can't remember what was going on in my head, but I came out such a stronger person after that trip. Before I tended to have low self-esteem and what not, but whatever I witnessed changed things for good. I had also had my first girlfriend and break up prior to this trip, and it really helped me iron things out. This was my best attempt to even attempt to describe the experience, tons of trips later and I still can't even put my finger on it.

sorry addied out ;)
 
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Obelus said:
Don't really like calling salvia ego death. Well... yes your ego leaps out the window for a while; and by all standards I would even define it as ego death, but the core of it isn't at all what I would want to associate ego death with. Man, just reading that makes me feel nutty.

I think there's lots of branches of ego death you can explore. You can go dissociative, you can go lucid, I personally count the sensation that you are one with all the people around you as a form of ego death too (crowds of people becoming one pulse? Sheer ecstasy).
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I think I understand what you're saying. I've experienced ego death four times - twice on ayahuasca, once on DPT, and once on a combination of 5-MeO-DMT and DXM - and though what preceded and followed that state was different between drugs, ego death was always preceded by a jarring metallic vibrating sound and an electric jolt for each of them, and the state itself felt the same for each as well. Invariance of expression is the central defining characteristic of the experience that I understand the term "ego death" to refer to.

I've experienced what I call "identity substitution" on salvia, where I believe I am something that is not my default ego because a new form of self-identity is synthesized in its place. Though this could be argued to technically be a kind of ego death, my experience of salvia bears little resemblance to the aforementioned tryptamine experiences. The other classes of breakthrough or ecstatic experiences you give examples of likewise vary a lot, and deserve their own distinctive labels.
 
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