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Thread: Ego Death. Who Has Experienced It And On What Drug?

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    Ego Death. Who Has Experienced It And On What Drug? 
    #1
    Bluelighter Visionary_Kpsycho's Avatar
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    Ego Death. Who Has Experienced It and On What Drug? What was the experience like? Do you truly loose your identity? What do you recommended to achieve this state?
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    #2
    Bluelight Crew Delsyd's Avatar
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    I have experienced it a number of times on mushrooms, 5 meo dmt and dmt.
    For a good in depth discussion regarding the topic check out The Big & Dandy Ego Death Thread
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    #3
    Bluelighter malakaix's Avatar
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    Yes, on various psychedelics.. but it was most profound on DMT.
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    #4
    Bluelighter SteeleyJ's Avatar
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    Ketamine caused the most profound version of this. Psilocybe mushrooms have as well.
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    #5
    High dose of 2C-E with JWH-200 and loads of cannabis in the perfect, peaceful psytrance outdoor festival. ^_^

    The vibrant waves of what is are amazing.

    EDIT, add to one of the questions OP made: Yes, I did fully lose my identity. I don't know how long it was, but to me it felt like an instant moment (but I am sure it couldn't be since I was amiss more than 4 hours!) that had the most beautiful visuals of my lifetime. It started with all things on the ground starting to live. It was night, flowers were down; But they rose and bloomed and the air was filled with butterflies, that shot after them amazing white colored fractals that slowly fell to the ground; Next, my vision blurred and all I could really see anymore were these waves that moved in sync with the beating essence of universe. I think I fell down and no longer really felt anything - or felt it all, which would perhaps be more precise. It's an experience hard to describe, since it's so above the meaning.. that any shared word could hold. It's just such a perfect clarity.

    After that I soon became vegetarian (well, I confess, still eating meat in university when the vegetarian side isn't open yet) and overall - I think - became much more caring person, who'd no longer purposfully act like an arsehole.

    The experience really showed how everything and nothing are so close to each other, and how we all are really built of the same life force, heartbeat of cosmos.

    Can't recommed anything since I've found the experience impossible to replicate on purpose. It's a rare moment that comes unexpected.
    Last edited by Pyramedic; 20-02-2010 at 04:26.
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    #6
    Bluelighter Delta-9-THC's Avatar
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    Salvia. It was frightening tbh.

    I haven't experienced it on any of the classic psychs yet.
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    #7
    Bluelight Crew willow11's Avatar
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    I've gone into more detail in the ego-death thread, but the drugs that have assisted me have been DMT, DPT, ayahuasca, salvia, mushrooms, ketamine and 2C-E. And yes, all was lost. And yes, it was wonderful.
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    #8
    Bluelighter SpiralOut's Avatar
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    It's a bit embarrassing to say so, but my most profound trip so far was when I was first making forays into using drugs. Two massive bottles of Robitussin.

    I was feeling terribly sick wanting to throw up, but I knew that doing so always ruined my trip and kept me from reaching the 4th plateau. So, I forced myself to ignore it and I ended up falling asleep. When I awoke, my entire body was buzzing and I felt myself being lifted out of it and having an out of body experience. I remember floating up towards the ceiling and then the room disappeared and I was surrounded by stars. I felt like I was floating on the outer atmosphere of the Earth while gazing deep into space. At that point I completely lost everything about who I was and I felt opened up to the universe.

    I just remember everything being washed away and my entire essence being opened up to this cosmic vastness that filled me with wonder, hope, and euphoria at the knowledge that everything was working according to a great design and that it was absolutely perfect.

    Pyramedic is right though. It's hard to explain the unexplainable. When you completely lose your ego and are opened up to literally everything, it's just something words don't do justice.
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    #9
    Me.

    On Salvia divinorum, Ayahuasca, Peyote and Mushrooms.
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    #10
    Bluelight Crew solistus's Avatar
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    Only LSD has taken me to what I would personally consider ego death - where I was capable of advanced symbolic thought (i.e., able to follow a more or less normal train of thought through to its conclusion rather than being totally overwhelmed) but temporarily lost the notion of an "I" that was active. I can remember the events in retrospect and they don't seem that... Weird, just me walking down a path thinking about ontology - but in the moment, it felt like my whole basic sense of self and other, internal and external, etc. had broken down, not in the sense of a visual OOB experience of anything, just conceptually. I found myself sort of rebuilding from scratch: "Okay, so I'm an I, a distinct subject... and I interact in this external world full of others... "I" is defined by that internal/external divide..." It took me probably a good half hour in this state before I was once again able to interact with the world more or less normally. Toward the end of the event as it was actually happening, the thought struck me that perhaps those who "don't come back the same" from a really intense trip go through something similar but... Screw up while rebuilding? Miss some fundamental piece of their ontology?

    It was at once unsettling and immensely valuable as an experience, and while I have had many difficult-to-describe and intense trip peak experiences, none since has been quite like that one. That was on 8 tabs of supposedly 100mcg apiece (probably at least a little less, you know how it goes with tabs these days), so I was probably approaching saturation doses. High dose LSD is an insane but marvelous experience.

    The most ego challenging experiences I've had with mushrooms include a trip characterised by physical misery and nausea where I briefly worried I might *actually* be dying and another much more positive peak experience that involved a long period of visuals I could not distinguish between open and closed eye... I can't remember what it looked like visually exactly, not much more than an amorphous blob from what I recall, but I spent probably close to an hour talking (well, mostly being talked to by) my own unconscious. This was very early in my readings of psychoanalysis and was one of the things that convinced me solidly of the theory that psychedelics achieve most of their meaningful content and 'weirdness' by exposing unconscious thoughts to conscious awareness - much like the theory about body sensations that basically says psychedelics cause the brain to read some internal nerve signal as external input, perhaps the same mechanical process is causing various pre-conscious elements of cognition to float to conscious attention when, for example, a peak experience seems to speak to your life events, traumas, current personal crises, etc. directly.
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    #11
    Bluelight Crew Delsyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by solistus View Post
    High dose LSD is an insane but marvelous experience.
    i dont think there are words ni our language adeqaute enough to describe the experience
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    #12
    Bluelighter RhythmSpring's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teotzlcoatl View Post
    Me.

    On Salvia divinorum, Ayahuasca, Peyote and Mushrooms.
    ...simultaneously?!??
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    #13
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    many times on LSD, shrooms, and K but one time I accidentally did a massive dose of DOC i am guessing in the 10mg range if not more.. and I experienced the most profound ego death in my experience.. I felt at one with my surrounding sorta like I was part of thew same fabric as everything material that surrounded me. Visually, it made no diff whether my eyes were open or closed and I saw what my own concept of beauty was which was very pleasant to behold .. at the same time, I had this sinister voice that sorta would pop out and push me to break down further but that drove me nuts cuz I couldn't break it down any further! It was crazy. Complete ego death. Intense shit.
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    #14
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    oh yeah Salvia 40x extract was def complete ego death but sooo oh not fun.
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    #15
    I've experienced full ego death on psilocybin (Panaeolus tropicalis mushrooms specifically) and smoked DMT.

    I've experienced partial ego death on LSD as well, and I've witnessed people going through full ego death on LSD.
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    #16
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    I think ego death can be a feature of both a spiritual awakening experience and a mystical state. Sometimes they are used interchangeably but I think there is a difference.

    Mushrooms have awakened me spiritually and are the most ego-crushing.
    LSD has given me partial ego-deaths, mystical states, rebirth and NDE.
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    #17
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    Yes I've had ego death on a high dose of LSD and I had ego fragmentation while on 2.0g of shrooms. I've written about the ego death wile on acid on here.
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    #18
    Bluelighter Moral Decay's Avatar
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    I have experienced it on high doses of LSD, high doses of mushrooms, K-hole levels of ketamine, the first time i did PCP and one extremely intense salvia trip.

    Quote Originally Posted by Al_S_Dee View Post
    oh yeah Salvia 40x extract was def complete ego death but sooo oh not fun.
    same.
    Last edited by Moral Decay; 22-02-2010 at 08:19.
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    #19
    ...simultaneously?!??
    Haha! NO! Different occasions.
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    #20
    I may have experienced ego death with 5-MeO-DMT, but it's hard to label that sort of thing; I hardly knew what was going on and it was just too different to really say or integrate.

    And I experienced ego loss with 4-AcO-DMT, but not actual EGO DEATH. I'd like to experience that sometime though with a longer-lasting psych than 5-MeO-DMT; somehow, I have reason to believe that it'd be rather helpful or consoling for me.
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    #21
    Bluelighter Help?!?!'s Avatar
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    5-meo-dmt,dmt,mescaline,2c-e, LSD, and mushrooms. I love ego death such an indescribable but amazing experience.
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    #22
    Bluelighter Feste's Avatar
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    Nope, I'm not even too sure what people mean by it. Obviously missing out here. *shrug*
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    #23
    Bluelighter Tunnelfission's Avatar
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    Me on mushrooms, but mostly LSD, one trip of LSD and mushrooms combined led to some ego loss. my ego is pretty loose anyways but doesn't completely dissolve very often. usually I have to be out in nature. a couple noted times, once on LSD and methstacy (you know "speedy" caps) I had been in a very disattached happy mood, digging into some small rocks , deeper and deeper, I was watching all 4 of us, my friends and I, I was the rocks, the sand, the water... the air, the whole space encompassing all of us for 200X200 meters at least. I was the experience we were having... we were walking up and back out of the beach area and back onto roads and my consiousness came to be more focused on me as night fell the theme got a little "sketchy" but still unrepeatably hilarious and fun.

    I didn't frame my expanded perception until just after the effect of my third person viewpoint was wearing off and I was returning to just "I". I was just astonished and was trying to explain it with terms like "chaos, entire all encompassing chaos", boundries didn't seperate...they connected!

    I can always kind of sense this buddhist nature now, and during this trip was also completely confortable with the thought of death, the experience of death, I was afraid of the pain/discomfort of the loss of breath, but it becomes the breath of eternity as it seeps out, the vaccuum is no longer pressing against, you are the vaccuum of all and everything. some sense of rebirth? I must study this mindspace more
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    #24
    Bluelighter Delta-9-THC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Feste View Post
    Nope, I'm not even too sure what people mean by it. Obviously missing out here. *shrug*
    It's pretty much exactly what it sounds like. You lose all concept of self. There is no "I" anymore.
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    #25
    Bluelighter Feste's Avatar
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    Might have experienced it on ket or 4-meo-pcp then, but it didn't seem some big grand event people make it out to be.
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