• TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT

What does being addicted feel like?

yes, addicition is a broad word. IMO addiction SEEMS to starts off slowly, but before you know it something is controlling you, your thoughts, and your actions instead of the other way around. Whatever it is, I have heard that what ever occupies your thoughts and your time the most is what you are "addicted" to. But it really is to each their own, because it is different for everone. Peace and be safe.
 
I never understood addiction..that is until oxy and heroin.

fuckin addiction... sucks ass. it's pain-thats the only way I can describe it, utter pain.

Physically the addict is in pain...i know for me I feel like im always withdrawing and chasing a fucking high.

Mentally..PAIN. the pain of fucking up, the pain of hurting you rself, the pain of hurting your loved ones. the pain of not being able to control your self, financial troubles.

Addiction for me is the SECOND, literally eht second I open my eyes in the morning, I say to my self, fuck I have to l ive through anothe rday, what the fuck am I goin to do to get high today. it's quitting every day, someties 20 times a day, only to use.

Its a fucking struggle. I wouldnt wish this on ANYONE, not myworst enemies, i think no life is almost better then the life as an addict
 
Just imagine the one thing in you life that completes you, makes you feel happy, makes you feel loved, makes you feel totally and unimaginably accepted just how you are.



Now, imagine you are told that if you ever touch this thing or person, you will destroy everything else in your life and ultimately yourself.
 
I myself have experienced addictions to almost all drugs at some point in my life. Addicted to smoking crystal meth at 18, kicked that habit. Addicted to snorting powder cocaine at 19, kicked that one after a few tries. Addicted to benzodiazepines pretty badly for a couple years, kicked that one finally a couple years ago. Then comes the big bad opiates. Been addicted to black tar heroin for about 2 years now. I can't really describe what it is like being addicted, it will make you fuck over everyone who cares about you, and you will steal from them and lie and cheat to get your next fix so you don't have to go into withdrawal. heroin withdrawal is the worst feeling ever, I would much rather have a come down after staying up for a week on meth or after a night of doing an 8 ball to myself than go through 4 days of heroin withdrawal. I have never seen anybody here do heroin occasionally and not let it turn into an everyday habit. Now I have just gotten on methadone at the clinic 3 days ago so im going to be addicted to methadone now for at least a couple years. But I would much rather be a methadonian junkie than having to hustle everyday for heroin.
 
I think addiction is different for everyone. I realize I'm addicted upon waking up in the morning and feeling like hell until ingesting the substance du jour.

For me, it was completely about willpower. I was IVing speed for five years and never considered quitting. When I decided to, I just did it. It was a ton of work, but the healthy eating and exercise really helped. It also involved retreating into almost-complete isolation for two years. Tough times.

For me, the problem isn't stopping-- It is a matter of finally getting to the point where I realize that using a particular drug is causing serious interpersonal conflicts and preventing me from having a normal life. Or, as with speed, when I realize my mental abilities are fading fast and the side-effects are too much to deal with.

IMO, what makes addiction different for everyone is a unique set of circumstances. People respond to emotions and situations differently, and have very different ideas about what is acceptable and what isn't. It's problematic to say "This will definitely cure you!" because ugh, how many times have we heard that and failed, only to end up worse because of the emotions surrounding a relapse?
 
being addicted feels like giving in to sacrificing the future for pleasure now. you know that using lots of a drug is a bad long term solution but you dont want to face quitting or life without it. you begin to even doubt your ability to enjoy yourself or cope without it.


I myself have experienced addictions to almost all drugs at some point in my life. Addicted to smoking crystal meth at 18, kicked that habit. Addicted to snorting powder cocaine at 19, kicked that one after a few tries. Addicted to benzodiazepines pretty badly for a couple years, kicked that one finally a couple years ago. Then comes the big bad opiates. Been addicted to black tar heroin for about 2 years now. I can't really describe what it is like being addicted, it will make you fuck over everyone who cares about you, and you will steal from them and lie and cheat to get your next fix so you don't have to go into withdrawal. heroin withdrawal is the worst feeling ever, I would much rather have a come down after staying up for a week on meth or after a night of doing an 8 ball to myself than go through 4 days of heroin withdrawal. I have never seen anybody here do heroin occasionally and not let it turn into an everyday habit. Now I have just gotten on methadone at the clinic 3 days ago so im going to be addicted to methadone now for at least a couple years. But I would much rather be a methadonian junkie than having to hustle everyday for heroin.

you find heroin withdrawal worse than benzo?
 
Wow,
I must say I'm impressed by this , so far relatively short thread ...
Addiction , I would agree , is very a complex subject ... yet also I feel that most "addictions" are very similarly viewed at base objectiveness ...
I fear describing my point (or trying to) any more so other than justly referring to the great analogies and comments prior ... especially on the 1st page :)

It's hard to remember now , everything that was written ... I would post a reply to each and every comment if it were feasible but that is not to be ... I'll easily be carried away , can read for days on end if It's what "Ales" me ...
I'm probably making no sense yet ... but personal opinions were called for ... this is my way of putting it (can't beat what's already been said imho) ...
...
I've an addictive personality ... I don't need to be a rocket surgeon to know this ... nor do I need a quack to tell me it ... It is what it is and after much research it is obvious to the majority of brain scientists ... lucky for me I'm quite isolated from society and all it's dastardly and wonderous ways ... yet I've been "hooked" on almost every means available to me ... well , not quite that dramatic , but yeh ... Booze and cigarettes , gambling and Beer , thinking and dreaming and reading and fear , games and internet , pills and the divine ... and ... did I mention the Beer and the wine!? ... etc (lol ;)) ... if I could get it , I'd be into it ... slowed down now tho. I smoke a bit of ganja also.

Point being (if I can come up with one) ... I've tried H before and other drugs that are seemingly out of my price range (budget) ... this is lucky because If I had the ca$h , I'd have no ca$h because I'd want more and more ... this is OCD type behaviour ... and add what is sometimes called an Addictive personality.
As for the comment about H above ... yes there is a rare few that have tried daily/occasionally for a while and not developed a "bad habit" ... as I said tho , if I'd had the legal means to purchase such a product daily ... I would have indulged quite a bit more ;)

That said ... I reckon when considering kicking the habit ... that the feelings of the despair about how it may feel after quitting/detox/rehab ... feelings of "how could I cope without" and so on ... present themselves later in the game ... that is , you gotta become reliant on the drugs to function after much time and it's uber freaky to think of life without the vices you adapt to ...
Then it is a full blown addiction ... It's a very tricky and freaky thing.
I'm an alcoholic , though a very friendly and moderate one ... have been for some years , also smoke tobacco ... so very addictive as the years roll on.
It doesn't really matter what addictive drug it is ... each analogy on the 1st page sums up exactly how I , and I'm sure many others , feel about it. :)

I had so much more to say but it seems I've gone on long enough ... Props to the OP for opening the discussion once again.
Cheerz and be Free,

Umbo. ... in the tree ... |_.
 
Hello,
sorry if this belongs somewhere else - let me know if it does.

All my textbooks which talk about addiction describe it as a compulsion to use a drug. In my opinion, thats kind of a shitty definition, because I have no idea what this compulsion feels like... Honestly, its about as helpful as telling someone who hasn't been burned before that it feels "hot!" :X

Is the only way to really understand, to become addicted myself?

What did being addicted feel like to you? In retrospect (or presently) do you think you could have stopped if you tried hard enough, or is willpower not a factor?

What, from your experience, would be required to stop?

What do you think causes somebody to become addicted to a drug?

Why is it that some people are able to use recreational drugs in moderation, whereas other people spiral out of control?

Thanks.
I know the answers are probably multi-faceted and subjective, but just your individual opinion is perfect; I'd like to hear what actual addicts have to say about addiction.

Addiction to me is losing track that you are a person, and becoming a substance. I have stopped many times, this time I have taken great steps to make sure I stay on track. Why did I stop? Simple, I've OD'd countless times, flatlined and recently I couldn't get high on a 300$ habbit of H. When you start to think of awful awful things just because of the drug, and you see life slipping away (6 years for me, im 24) - it does catch up. I was scared, I cried a lot, and finally I started taking the steps to make changes. What caused me to become an addict? Well that's tough, my grandparents were raging alcoholics, so it's in the dna - I was raped for a few month at age 10, by 11 I started drugs. Between going to 5 different schools before college, not ever feeling like I belonged anywhere, even at home, drugs were a simple way out. Why do some control there use and others cannot? That's one that's tricky, I can use some drugs once or twice a month if i wanted to (mdma,mda,lsd,ketamine) - mind you I'm not - but you put me around an opiate and forget it. I guess some people don't have that trigger drug. Some people are speeders, some people love the nod - I don't know.

hope it helped some.
 
Well it hepled me :artofwar ... cheerz,
Along with each and every opinion on this topic , the importance could barely be understated ... The fact[sic] is that it's always going to differ from individual to individual and what not ... Why? do some get so addicted whilst others can moderate their usage??? ... only open discussion such as this can possibly shed a little light on this issue ... as so often we are damned if we do and damned if we aren't doing ...

Can I have a go at directly answering the OP's Questions? ... (Forgot your name again mate , sorry about that :D)
Why not ...
1*Is the only way to really understand, to become addicted myself?

2*What did being addicted feel like to you? In retrospect (or presently) do you think you could have stopped if you tried hard enough, or is willpower not a factor?

3*What, from your experience, would be required to stop?

4*What do you think causes somebody to become addicted to a drug?

5*Why is it that some people are able to use recreational drugs in moderation, whereas other people spiral out of control?

1*- I must disagree that you need to actually EXPERIENCE addiction such as we speak of here ... to at least understand/learn/know about it! (don't try it at home btw ;)) ... might not be able to FEEL it , but i don't see why it couldn't be Understood ... Having read often on the subject ... (I still promote reading the 1st page especially (and the rest) of this topic) ... I was blown away by the honesty and descriptions put forth ... It was a pleasant suprise for me as too often there are derogatory suggestions made for such a discussion ... I guess I'll have to "man up!" and accept it though heheh :p ... All circumstances are different ... almost infinite factors are involved so there is no solid equation for anything.
Best we can do is to try and understand ourselves and the planet/life around us. I suppose.

2* Will-Power is definatly a factor if you ask me ... because of the way the question was phrased I will answer that I think , if ... big IF! ... one was aware of becoming addicted in the first place then yes the option is there to just ,basically , steer clear ... there are different levels of addiction (as far as I know) ... as the years go by , some people won't think of it as an addiction ... It's when It starts destroying you and your surroundings that it becomes a problem ... and then the addictions realize to you as a key factor for said problems (i.e. Is addiction an issue only if It is causing problems?) ...
Tough questions. :)

3* Hmmm , What would be required to stop? ... bit of a general question ...
SO many factors involved I'd prefer not even to give an example.
I could only say that : It's the decisions of the affected individual to choose what path they want/need to take ... support thereonin from all avenues existant may make the journey easier (no matter how hectic) ... Friends and Family , Social services and whatever outreach available can and will help if it is available for those who seek it.

4* Cause? ... Action=Reaction ... hah , I could have answered this whole reply as , "too many factors to ever acheive a relevant answer" ... but that would be defeatist wouldn't it ... not mention a bit dull :) heheheh
O.k. ... almost forgot , personal opinions count ... no "facts" needed but the truth as one may know it ...
I think addiction is part of escapism ... hmmm , not thought much about it , but i think that's right and can't wait to learn more about it.
Trauma , Pain , Loss , Lost , Relief ... probably many more ... etc
(Not to be confused ofc with the experimental drug taker whom also seeks Enlightenment , Discovery , Intellect , Wisdom and Peace etc ...)
Reminds me a little of the debate about causality drug-wize vs. mental health.
Touchy subject , wish I could elaborate but the suns coming up ...

5* Your guess is as good as anyones I reckon.
I think It's less to do with genes and predisposition than it is to do with circumstance. Let alone peoples ability to cope with said circumstances .. if that makes sense ... so many factors involved ... but maybe less factors could be considered if there is such honest and decent discussion raised on the subject as we see here.
I guess that's where all us peoples come into play ... but internet access is poor down under the bridge and such :)

Write a new text-book I say ... one for every person on the planet 8o
Cheerz and I am almost confident I didn't totally wreck this excellent thread ...
=D

Umbo. ... |_.

P.s. Oh my , why is am I up so late/early? ... almost 7am and I barely batted an eyelid , let alone do all the other things I thunk of doing all these hours ...
(I'm just as addicted to the Internet now as I ever was anything ;) as i alluded to last post ... sorry to repeat that sentiment but It may be obscure)

Take care and enjoy <3
 
being addicted feels like giving in to sacrificing the future for pleasure now. you know that using lots of a drug is a bad long term solution but you dont want to face quitting or life without it. you begin to even doubt your ability to enjoy yourself or cope without it.




you find heroin withdrawal worse than benzo?

I honestly can't really decide which one i think is worse. Benzo withdrawal for me (xanax) was horrible. It felt like I was on the verge of a heart attack, and I just simply could not function out in public without feeling like I was a nervous wreck. Heroin however feels like some of these anxious panicky feelings along with the most severe flu ever.
 
Addiction is like having the solution to all your problems just a phone call/$20 away. And yet this solution is the biggest problem in your life because nothing can ever match it. :\ You simply don't care about anything else in this world.
 
Addiction is like having the solution to all your problems just a phone call/$20 away. And yet this solution is the biggest problem in your life because nothing can ever match it. :\ You simply don't care about anything else in this world.


damn bro, this is a DAMN GOOD outlook on it.
 
Image being inside a snowglobe, with no way of getting out. And when you do try to get out you end up tipping over the snowglobe which causes shit to fly.
 
There are a lot of aspects of addiction, but if you're talking about experiencing a craving, do this:

Stop eating for a few days and note the compulsion to do everything and anything to get your hands on food.
 
Is the only way to really understand, to become addicted myself?

Probably yes. Shouldnt be something you choose out of curiosity.

What did being addicted feel like to you? In retrospect (or presently) do you think you could have stopped if you tried hard enough, or is willpower not a factor?

Willpower is a definite factor.
The feeling is along the lines of almost feeling like you have no willpower left. The substance can sit there infront of you and somehow your mind goes through whatever it takes to rationalise its continual use. Its amazing what we can internally rationalise when faced with something like this.

What, from your experience, would be required to stop?

Wanting to be clean. Realising theres no future down that path. Cutting off ties to that life, burning sources, toxic 'friendships', etc.

What do you think causes somebody to become addicted to a drug?

Self esteem issues, depression, lack of coping mechanisms, grief, regret, guilt, self destructive tendencies, rebellion, escape from current life problems,

Why is it that some people are able to use recreational drugs in moderation, whereas other people spiral out of control?

Same as above. Recreational drug use is more making the good times better. Addictive drug use to me seems more like making the bad times bearable. If you're in a good head space, it would be easier to use in moderation.
 
Recreational drug use is more making the good times better. Addictive drug use to me seems more like making the bad times bearable. If you're in a good head space, it would be easier to use in moderation.
Well put man.
 
Addiction is different with every drug, too. Well, it can be described, but it's like almost everything else. Reading about it doesn't replace experiencing it. I wouldn't do it again. At first it's fun. Then it gets a bit less fun, and you begin to feel hopeless, but also excited at the idea of addiction. Then it slowly turns into complete hopelessness and misery. Also, I have had trouble with norepinephrine before, as a result of Cannabis Sativa abuse, and I have reason to believe that stimulant abuse has some more complex aspects to the addiction than depressants. Really depends on a bunch of things though. Serotonin and dopamine alterations from drug use (particularly marijuana) have changed me a bit, but norepinephrine/ adrenaline is fucked up. But depressants obviously come with their unique consequences, too.
 
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